My 5 point plan to stop Americans leaving America

So I’m not sure why or what’s happened but over the past few days I’ve found out that I really hate Americans and especially American tourists.
I’m not a Canadian, who we all know REALLY hate Americans, so this came as a bit of a surprise to me.

I’ve decided that action needs to be taken as we have all avoided this issue for way too long now.
After at least 10-15 min of deep thought and research I have come up with a 5 point plan that I think can end the scourge of Americans leaving America for good.

1) Do everything in our power to help complete the Southern wall, I’ve spoken with all Mexicans and they are willing to supply the materials needed at cost price and even offer a substantial discount on the labour required

2) Get started on a northern equivalent, I have spoken to all of the Canadians (bar a few that are currently in the US for work or holiday) and they are on board. They have started digging moats and sharpening stakes to create a decent physical barrier till the world can start a go fund me for the cost of A massive high tech wall. This could take some time so the Mounties have agreed to patrol the border in force but will need extra recruits to make this feasible. Could our Canadian member please enlist to help out.

3) I have spoken to the English and the Japanese and the have agreed to blockade the Atlantic and Pacific coasts respectively until we can get some sort of massive sea wall (ala pacific rim) in place.
This will not be a short term thing as the logistics involved will be considerable but we have our best scientists and engineers working on the problem as we speak.
As an optimistic estimate this could take anywhere from 20-50 years so I ask all British members to consider signing up for the Royal Navy or if not possible to get a job at your local shipyard to help with construction of the massive fleet that will be necessary, probably gonna need about 10,000 warships and half as many aircraft carriers on each coast to effectively stop any Yanks from escaping.

4) we will all need to band together and come up with a good lie about either a nuclear or biological attack that has left the rest of the world a barren wasteland. We all need to be solid on this as any slip ups on social media or even phone calls/text messages will give the game away and Americans will be back in our countries speaking loudly and complaint about the metric system.
CNN MSBC etc etc will run this story as fact for us 24/7 on their news feeds but everyone will still be required to post at least one pic or story a week to tbeir FB, Twitter or instagram accounts showing pics of people with their skin sloughing off or telling stories of the post apocalyptic mad max style world that exists outside the States.

5) We all sit back drinking cocktails in peace while Americans float over the “fact” that everyone who hated them is now dead and even if they wanted to leave they won’t be able to for fear of disease or radiation poisoning.

We are choosing isolation over extermination as we couldn’t agree on who would come in and clean up all the corpses

I’m not gonna lie, this won’t be easy but if we pull together as Non-Americans I reckon we can get it done

Now that the plan is in place and the world has agreed to action it there is no reasons for any Americans to spam this site with questions about why it isn’t happening.

a reply to: IkNOwSTuff

Nice!!!

I think that's a whole lot of work for the world to do because of one douche bag on ATS...

But I like the spirit of the endeavor!

(PS... I'm sneaking back into Canada before the moat and spikes are completed. 100 Mile House BC, to be exact.)

originally posted by: Lumenari
a reply to: IkNOwSTuff

Nice!!!

I think that's a whole lot of work for the world to do because of one douche bag on ATS...

But I like the spirit of the endeavor!

(PS... I'm sneaking back into Canada before the moat and spikes are completed. 100 Mile House BC, to be exact.)

I felt sorry for the bloke, he seemed to be getting more frantic in each thread so in the interest of helping him preserve his sanity I thought I better toss him a bone

...20 years later.

A wall/seawall to keep all the Chinese tourists in Cina.

...40 years after that.

A wall/seawall to keep all the Indians in India

originally posted by: IkNOwSTuff

originally posted by: Lumenari
a reply to: IkNOwSTuff

Nice!!!

I think that's a whole lot of work for the world to do because of one douche bag on ATS...

But I like the spirit of the endeavor!

(PS... I'm sneaking back into Canada before the moat and spikes are completed. 100 Mile House BC, to be exact.)

I felt sorry for the bloke, he seemed to be getting more frantic in each thread so in the interest of helping him preserve his sanity I thought I better toss him a bone

You have done something good for me personally with starting this thread.

I wanted to watch a movie and had no idea what...

But I haven't watched Pacific Rim in a long time and it's a fun relaxing movie.

So I'ma watch it now.

Thank you!!!

originally posted by: Lumenari

originally posted by: IkNOwSTuff

originally posted by: Lumenari
a reply to: IkNOwSTuff

Nice!!!

I think that's a whole lot of work for the world to do because of one douche bag on ATS...

But I like the spirit of the endeavor!

(PS... I'm sneaking back into Canada before the moat and spikes are completed. 100 Mile House BC, to be exact.)

I felt sorry for the bloke, he seemed to be getting more frantic in each thread so in the interest of helping him preserve his sanity I thought I better toss him a bone

You have done something good for me personally with starting this thread.

I wanted to watch a movie and had no idea what...

But I haven't watched Pacific Rim in a long time and it's a fun relaxing movie.

So I'ma watch it now.

Thank you!!!

Awesome
Report back here with any ideas that will help with implementing our plan

I took a fishing trip in Ontario once. It was fun at the time, but now that I realized all of the Canadians I had beers with hated me the whole time I patronized their bar in the middle of nowhere...

I would even pitch in to fund a great northern wall so those baconback stabbing toqu wearing always apologizing poutine pouring losers, just so I wouldn't even need to worry about patronizing any of their lack luster swine swill.

originally posted by: dubiousatworst
I took a fishing trip in Ontario once. It was fun at the time, but now that I realized all of the Canadians I had beers with hated me the whole time I patronized their bar in the middle of nowhere...

I would even pitch in to fund a great northern wall so those baconback stabbing toqu wearing always apologizing poutine pouring losers, just so I wouldn't even need to worry about patronizing any of their lack luster swine swill.

That’s the spirit
If we can get Americans on side we won’t need to worry points 4 and 5

We will still go through with 1-3 just to make sure no stragglers escape

a reply to: IkNOwSTuff
I know your are just joking, but I have trouble understanding how people can hate all, based on unfortunate interactions with a few.

I have five Huskies. The two males are amazing. My three girls are complete hellions. Should I destroy all dogs? Or just all female dogs? Maybe just female Huskies?

I know this is a poor example, but I think it would be a much better place if just those that are creating the problem got the cut.

I like your ideas though.

Just cut the internet off and start a rumor that fast food is to be banned. Boom. Civil war...80% wil be dead. Of course the survivors are gonna be the heavily armed ones so dont nobody go trying to sneak in after lest you get euthanized.

a reply to: IkNOwSTuff

As an internet expert on America and Americans, I can say that your plan has merit.


Although I would try a different approach if you want to keep Americans away.


Just tell America that the rest of the world has given up elevators and escalators.

All Americans are fat. We are grossly obese and hate to use stairs. I'm breaking out in a sweat right now because I typed too fast.

If Americans even "thought" about exercise, they'd run (well, waddle) away from every country.




You're welcome!

a reply to: DBCowboy

Well 99.9 percent aint got no dang passport noways....so it caint be that many folks makin a ruckus.

originally posted by: lakenheath24
a reply to: DBCowboy

Well 99.9 percent aint got no dang passport noways....so it caint be that many folks makin a ruckus.

It just looks like a lot of folks, because. . . . fat.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Oh snap! It must be liberals cuz god knows us rednecks aint got no money to be going to no foreign land. Unless its Isreal of course. Gotta go see jeezus. Anyway we got enough danged foreigners here. Thick as flies down at the Depot.

a reply to: lakenheath24

I spent all my money on butter.

a reply to: lakenheath24

I spent all my money on butter.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Butter? What are you some kinda city hippy sissy boy? Real rednecks use lard.

originally posted by: lakenheath24
a reply to: DBCowboy

Butter? What are you some kinda city hippy sissy boy? Real rednecks use lard.

I use butter to lube the top of the lard bucket so it comes off easier.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Ahh. ThAts ok then. I use an ice cream scoop. When i make my american fries i use 10 scoops. Makes em slide right down.....and out.

Son if ya was closer I'd buy ya an Olympia or 10. Damn these foreigners.

a reply to: lakenheath24
Today I only used an 1/8 of a stick of butter on my cinnamon sugar toast. Gotta cut back on the calories from the lard, as my doctor told me sooner or later its going to be beat-us and that doesn't sound very fun.