Psychology Today: People Refusing To Date Transgenders Is ‘Dehumanizing’

a reply to: continuousThunder

Dating, or courtship, is a method used throughout the animal kingdom to allow gor the pairing off of parental sets for the sake of procreation.

Sorry. Biology determines gender for me and all of the animal kingdom. We cant deny science.

And lets not forget: psychology is not science. Its a liberal art. I expect nothing less from those flakes. Doesn't mean we should pay them attention.

a reply to: continuousThunder

okay, let's take this extremely slowly. let me know if you get lost and need me to explain again.

No need. Slowed down BS is still BS.

Here's the thing. Peeples has it absolutely right: everyone should be able to be proud of who they are. Every one of us is a unique, special individual with individual tastes and desires. We are all a part of a greater whole, a whole that is driven by our differences. If someone who is born a male wishes to believe they are a female, that's none of my business; have fun. If you dress up sufficiently to make me believe you are female, I'll call you by female pronouns. It's not a big deal. We can talk, laugh together, share a meal... it's all good.

Until, that is, you decide to try and force me into your delusion. Then it's not all good.

If I am looking for a date, there is a certain amount of personal discretion that I will apply. I don't like her looks; She's a bit too heavy for me; she doesn't look happy; lime green hair doesn't turn me on; not into nose rings the size of Pennsylvania; boobs too big; boobs too small; butt too big; butt too small; eyebrows too thin; don't like unibrows; why is she wearing a swastika; facial scars aren't my thing; too tall; too short; crazy eyes... I will cull women for any little thing that I notice that indicates we might not hit it off. Topping that list? Has male genitalia.

I just authored a thread about "trans-panic" being used as a legal defense for murder... and the reason I authored it is I heard the story and wondered... is this really a thing? For murder? What kind of warped concept of justice is this that says you can kill someone over their genitalia? It turns out, yes, it is a thing... not very successful at least, but a thing nonetheless. And that bothers me greatly.

But it also make sense. This BS story, and the load of BS you just tried to shovel onto us, is the reason. No, you don't get to decide that someone not wanting to date you is dehumanizing... you want to know what's dehumanizing? Getting all dead and stuff because you wanted to trick someone into a homosexual encounter. That's dehumanizing, and I strongly suggest no one try it for themselves. Take my word.

This article, and your response are why the "trans-panic" defense works at all. You want to take away the natural tendencies of people to be attracted to the people they are attracted to and instead insert your own version of who should be considered attractive. That is literally insane, and insanity begets insanity in response.

Bottom line: yes, you are special whether you are straight, male, female, gay, trans, whatever. Everyone should be proud of who they are. But a trans-woman is not a woman. A trans-woman is a man pretending to be a woman. Let's understand that. Your genitalia does not change because you dress in drag. You may appear to be a woman, you may think you are a woman, but you are not really a woman. Only by mutilating yourself can you become a woman... and I would say that even then, unless medical science has a reasonable possibility of allowing you to have a baby like a woman, or create a baby lie a man, you're still a trans-woman/trans-man. There's no getting around the fact that you were born with a certain gender, determined by your genitalia.

That means your sexual exploits will be constrained to people who can accept your gender and lifestyle. That's not dehumanizing; that's life.

And before anyone brings it up, yes I know there are a few mutations beyond trans... hermaphrodites for instance. They are special, unique, important individuals also and should be proud of who they are... but they are hermaphrodites. That is a part of what they should be proud of.

If anything is dehumanizing in this respect, it is that these people (who are already troubled) are being told that being turned down for a date is somehow dehumanizing, and is only due to their gender confusion. That's dehumanizing.

TheRedneck

originally posted by: TheRedneck
a reply to: continuousThunder

okay, let's take this extremely slowly. let me know if you get lost and need me to explain again.

No need. Slowed down BS is still BS.

Here's the thing. Peeples has it absolutely right: everyone should be able to be proud of who they are. Every one of us is a unique, special individual with individual tastes and desires. We are all a part of a greater whole, a whole that is driven by our differences. If someone who is born a male wishes to believe they are a female, that's none of my business; have fun. If you dress up sufficiently to make me believe you are female, I'll call you by female pronouns. It's not a big deal. We can talk, laugh together, share a meal... it's all good.

Until, that is, you decide to try and force me into your delusion. Then it's not all good.

If I am looking for a date, there is a certain amount of personal discretion that I will apply. I don't like her looks; She's a bit too heavy for me; she doesn't look happy; lime green hair doesn't turn me on; not into nose rings the size of Pennsylvania; boobs too big; boobs too small; butt too big; butt too small; eyebrows too thin; don't like unibrows; why is she wearing a swastika; facial scars aren't my thing; too tall; too short; crazy eyes... I will cull women for any little thing that I notice that indicates we might not hit it off. Topping that list? Has male genitalia.

I just authored a thread about "trans-panic" being used as a legal defense for murder... and the reason I authored it is I heard the story and wondered... is this really a thing? For murder? What kind of warped concept of justice is this that says you can kill someone over their genitalia? It turns out, yes, it is a thing... not very successful at least, but a thing nonetheless. And that bothers me greatly.

But it also make sense. This BS story, and the load of BS you just tried to shovel onto us, is the reason. No, you don't get to decide that someone not wanting to date you is dehumanizing... you want to know what's dehumanizing? Getting all dead and stuff because you wanted to trick someone into a homosexual encounter. That's dehumanizing, and I strongly suggest no one try it for themselves. Take my word.

This article, and your response are why the "trans-panic" defense works at all. You want to take away the natural tendencies of people to be attracted to the people they are attracted to and instead insert your own version of who should be considered attractive. That is literally insane, and insanity begets insanity in response.

Bottom line: yes, you are special whether you are straight, male, female, gay, trans, whatever. Everyone should be proud of who they are. But a trans-woman is not a woman. A trans-woman is a man pretending to be a woman. Let's understand that. Your genitalia does not change because you dress in drag. You may appear to be a woman, you may think you are a woman, but you are not really a woman. Only by mutilating yourself can you become a woman... and I would say that even then, unless medical science has a reasonable possibility of allowing you to have a baby like a woman, or create a baby lie a man, you're still a trans-woman/trans-man. There's no getting around the fact that you were born with a certain gender, determined by your genitalia.

That means your sexual exploits will be constrained to people who can accept your gender and lifestyle. That's not dehumanizing; that's life.

And before anyone brings it up, yes I know there are a few mutations beyond trans... hermaphrodites for instance. They are special, unique, important individuals also and should be proud of who they are... but they are hermaphrodites. That is a part of what they should be proud of.

If anything is dehumanizing in this respect, it is that these people (who are already troubled) are being told that being turned down for a date is somehow dehumanizing, and is only due to their gender confusion. That's dehumanizing.

TheRedneck

100% correct!
Well said
Simply beautiful


Like the song goes...

God is great, beer is good, and people are crazyyyyyyy!!!!

Lmfao

a reply to: ElectricUniverse
I woudln't date one because I'm not gay. Also, I refuse to give in to people's delusions.

a reply to: Ligyron

I've never lined nature up with my appetite?

How does putting the fork down when I'm "full" effect nature or vice versa? If I really wanted to I'm sure I could eat more but that just leaves me feeling #ty.

Almost as if our bodies had signals to tell me when I've overdone it again.

I must be missing what you are saying and sorry in advance.

originally posted by: abe froman
a reply to: CthruU

The endgame here is to normalize pedophilia.

They've already started with drag queens doing children's story time.

All these little steps on a slippery slope.

Leading straight to hell.

Exactly also.

Can't add to that either.

As we're talking about relationships, makes me think about LGBT marriage - let's face it the only real purpose for marriage is to allow children to be born under the seal of gods protection (In a nutshell).
In other words not bastards.

So makes you wonder why LGBT want marriage rights and it's being pushed through. -- End of day this marriage equality is nonsense as the LGBT relationships that ummm - unfortunately fail would have the protection of defacto laws anyway to protect individuals.

Nothing makes sense anymore except what you so rightly said - "Leading straight to hell".

Why would I date something I'm not attracted to, and quite frankly find disgusting....?

Jeezus. Next think ya know we are gonna be shamed for not shagging fatsos.

a reply to: TheRedneck

Even though you at times reprimand my views - i have never been more proud of a mods response.

Very articulate and respectful.

Not that you care (probably) but i just took a gold star out of petty cash for you.

We as a species are constantly "dehumanizing" ourselves regardless of the topic - in this case LGBT.

When are we going to wake up ?

originally posted by: BoscoMoney
Why would I date something I'm not attracted to, and quite frankly find disgusting....?

I see what your doing there, "something" not someone. Lol.

But I'll leave it at that.

originally posted by: lakenheath24
Jeezus. Next think ya know we are gonna be shamed for not shagging fatsos.

Or "shagging" ourselves. ----- oops.

a reply to: CthruU

Lol. Its called pornhub.

a reply to: ElectricUniverse

If I refuse to date a dog or a cat, is that cruelty towards animals?

soulwaxer

a reply to: CthruU

Yep you got me. Ive been totes got by smartpants over here.

Was that a breeze refreshing as it blew by you?

I think I'll just leave it at that.

Americans have too much time on their hands these days.
With that in mind, they use their minds to play tricks on their own emotions instead of picking up a shovel and dig a garden.

originally posted by: continuousThunder
okay, let's take this extremely slowly. let me know if you get lost and need me to explain again.

it is dehumanising to declare that you wouldn't date an entire class of people.
that's a simple fact - you're treating people as an identical mass that you can just cast aside in one go.
that's pretty much the definition of dehumanising there.
Dating is about the connection between two individuals. You meet and you hit it off for various reasons, generally similar interests or views on the world.
it's like saying you wouldn't date an asian, or a blonde. There are a LOT of people in those subsets and they're all extremely different and going "nah blondes don't do it for me" is extremely reductionist and rude.
Only with trans people it's on a whole extra level because there are SO MANY trans people you'd never even know are trans unless they told you. So to just decide that you won't date any of these people, en masse - yeah that's dehumanising in action right there.

But don't worry, you're not being forced to date trans people. trans people already suffer enough in this world.

Um....no. I'm a dude. If I was to date again, I'd be firmly against dating a dude pretending to be a chick. call me old fashioned. And I don't care how nice he was or what kind of dress he wore. If he wanted to go out for beers, that's cool, but don't touch me.

a reply to: continuousThunder

It all comes back to the psychology of self and dating. When I was dating, I was not dehumanized because some guys instantly chose not to date me because of my age, having children, religion/non-religion, etc.

They thankfully were being honest and it was appreciated since I didn't waste my time on a delusional date. Sure it was frustrating but it never dehumanized me as a person. I also had my own check list on what attracted me in seeking a mate. I wanted someone who already had a vasectomy, for instance.

Each individual, including transgenders, have specific likes and dislikes based on personal experiences, observations, and yes, natural chemical attractants in seeking a mate. I have hanged out with guys I had a lot in common with but they were not dates. They were friends only. I was clear and honest, I was not sexually attracted to them.

I certainly do not agree with this delusion that an individual is a bigot if they have personal preferences in who they choose to date. Preferences are limiting, but they are an individual and personal right of every human individually.

If you feel dehumanized because someone is not interested in dating you because they are seeking a woman or man that is not altered internally or externally...that is on you not them. They are being honest and not wasting your time.

Edit add: plus, a transgendered individual will still have to take hormonal altering drugs for life after corrective surgery. The side effects and long term medical complications may not be what one knowingly looks for in their lifemate. True, cis mates may end up with a disability or medical complications, but even in the hetero world of relationships it is not unheard of a partner not able to deal with it, thus they divorce.

a reply to: ElectricUniverse

I think it is dehumanizing to tell me I need to marry a "woman" with a penis who I can not have kids with.

originally posted by: continuousThunder
okay, let's take this extremely slowly. let me know if you get lost and need me to explain again.

it is dehumanising to declare that you wouldn't date an entire class of people.

Would you date someone 65+ as a 20 year old? Wow, you just dehumanized an entire class of people. You are a horrible human being.

a reply to: Ligyron

It's time for short men, it's time for bald men, for ugly men, for plain-looking men, for overweight men, and for women who are the same as these men to STOP believing they have the right to breed.

I fail to spot the Joke or carcasm.

The nazi's tried that sh&t 60 years ago , they had a whole system designed to knock up as many woman in order to make the perfect arian in only a few generations.

Those are not the people you want to use as a example how to shape mankind.