Dying is so weird when you are brought back

a reply to: BoneSay

There is a reason why if you go into you-tube and type in car accidents compilation.

More then half the vid are clips from Russia. The Americans at the least have learned that vigilante justice, does not work in stopping future such events. And also stoplights are there for a reason. You all are so behind in some things, I do find it funny.

Though I am a fan of how you are allowed to pull into traffic in Russia.

Some people just have no etiquette and dont like to let people pull into the on ramp, what was he supposed to do, with those who have no common decency and any road etiquette.

a reply to: BoneSay

So, I haven't been on ATS a lot lately, so I've just come upon this thread and read all of your posts. What strikes me the most is your 'lmao' constantly and your matter-of-fact acceptance of your experience and current situation. You undoubtedly have a strong spirit, and that will serve you well in your healing!

"I don't feel like I fit in my body anymore" is such an intriguing statement. Can you say more about that? Like your spirit left your body and when it came back, it's too big for your body now, or not the right shape, or just what?

Are you in a lot of pain where the breaks are? Are you on strong pain meds?

I hope you keep this thread going, so we can follow your progress. And I would love to send you a card if you PM'd me an address to get it to you (although this is the Internet and I could be a lunatic stalker, but I'm not I swear it!)

Ooopps wrong thread sorry

originally posted by: galadofwarthethird
a reply to: BoneSay

There is a reason why if you go into you-tube and type in car accidents compilation.

More then half the vid are clips from Russia. The Americans at the least have learned that vigilante justice, does not work in stopping future such events. And also stoplights are there for a reason. You all are so behind in some things, I do find it funny.

Though I am a fan of how you are allowed to pull into traffic in Russia.

Some people just have no etiquette and dont like to let people pull into the on ramp, what was he supposed to do, with those who have no common decency and any road etiquette.

Accident did not happen in RussLand lol

More like amerikansky are not able to do anything about it, there was a time most people had courage, now i see most are fat and slow, and scared for their life and it shows

You 're supposed to be brave, not other way around right? But I won't like to argue so it's cool 😉

Watched a video of some amerikans insulting a mexican couple and then got their asses beaten lmao! talk is cheap sometimes

i know very strong amerikansky, different mindset than others who always think they are the best but can't show for themselves

was on a stop and truck just drove over me to turn left, dragged me for severl meters. he was drunk k guess but who knows

I love to use Amerikansky because i know its just a word as i pronounce but has exactly the same meaning 'American' as you would say and use... but triggers lots of people lmao!

originally posted by: bluemooone2
Ooopps wrong thread

sorry

lmao not fair! now i need to know what you said 😂😂😂🤣🤣

originally posted by: new_here
a reply to: BoneSay

So, I haven't been on ATS a lot lately, so I've just come upon this thread and read all of your posts. What strikes me the most is your 'lmao' constantly and your matter-of-fact acceptance of your experience and current situation. You undoubtedly have a strong spirit, and that will serve you well in your healing!

"I don't feel like I fit in my body anymore" is such an intriguing statement. Can you say more about that? Like your spirit left your body and when it came back, it's too big for your body now, or not the right shape, or just what?

Are you in a lot of pain where the breaks are? Are you on strong pain meds?

I hope you keep this thread going, so we can follow your progress. And I would love to send you a card if you PM'd me an address to get it to you (although this is the Internet and I could be a lunatic stalker, but I'm not I swear it!)

Feel like what else can b done? Not like i'll be able to run jump or or do some other stuff i did before so better check whats next right?

kind of trapped in this thing so make best out of it

may skip words sorry im tired and lazy now lol

yes i'm always in pain and times it feel like i wish i would just not wake up and stop feeling it, but i get by

I resist a lot normal pain drugs and had to get other stronger stuff because it would not work at all and i was in terrible pain all day, but doctors took them away after a while and now i have less pain but never goes away

Im like in a trip all day lmao, and have weird crazy dreams

When i woke up and next days i felt i did not know how to move a body, like how do you make fingers move? Why you need to eat? Voices and any sound was noisy and dumb, borinf and stressd me much. i felt like i could stend up and walk away but my body was not doing anything i wanted, like got disconnected from it somehow. then after days i started getting the feeling of how to do stuff. but i still feel like im moving a puppet, and like my hands or legs and stuff are bigger than my body, like i am bigger and i have to shrink my hands to be able to do stuff, have to be conscious and concentrate or i forget how to move them. i don't know how else to explain, its like i borrowed a body and is just a 'human costume' that you drive from away and have to keep checking or it breaks and falls

I know it's crazy 😂 that's my best at trying to describe that stuff

Im sorry i cant tell my address, im not allowed since long ago. Cant explain sorry, but thank you so much

a reply to: BoneSay

You describe your experience with your 'puppet body' very well, and it makes me ponder what in the world???
When you describe your hands too big to move, and you have to 'shrink them' to control them, it makes me think... grow and fortify your spirit (whatever that might mean to you, lol.) Like maybe when it took a tumble in the fall to the vanilla light-lake, it took a toll on it too. But against all odds it made it back into your body, albeit dimmed somewhat. But you are a fighter clearly. Strengthen your spirit, focus your will. There just may be something important to this world you've yet to accomplish, and that's why that horrible accident couldn't snuff you out. I wonder how the world will change, now you've returned to carry on...

originally posted by: new_here
a reply to: BoneSay

You describe your experience with your 'puppet body' very well, and it makes me ponder what in the world???
When you describe your hands too big to move, and you have to 'shrink them' to control them, it makes me think... grow and fortify your spirit (whatever that might mean to you, lol.) Like maybe when it took a tumble in the fall to the vanilla light-lake, it took a toll on it too. But against all odds it made it back into your body, albeit dimmed somewhat. But you are a fighter clearly. Strengthen your spirit, focus your will. There just may be something important to this world you've yet to accomplish, and that's why that horrible accident couldn't snuff you out. I wonder how the world will change, now you've returned to carry on...

Don't know, i dont' we came to do important things, we just do what we do and sometimes that thing is important.

I don't think what happened was to make me come back and do great things. almost 4 years ago i got attacked by a crazy maniac and he tried to rape me, i locked myself into my mom's room and picked up the gun from my grand father and pointed at the door and then the guy broke into the room and i pointed at his chest like my gd told me when practicing but hit him on a leg instead lol, gun too heavy and me to scared to do it right.

The guy got me and hit me so much i almost lost an eye back then and had lots of blood lose, i just blacked out and somehow made it out but differnt thing i did not had any weird experience and also i just remember feeling sleeping and then waking up later on and the guy had tried to walk away but fell on the floor due to blood loss lmao!

That was years ago and i kind of remember how it happened but not really much other than what i said above

Nothing special while i was out or anything except i blacked out after feeling very sleepy, because of blood lose as it happens

I feel like when i forget i have to do stuff and just keep thinking and feel like my actual body is bigger than this human body i am stronger and don't even feel pain, i just feel like i am and thats all. but when i remember or people keep talking and remind me i'm still here then the pain comes back and i'm aware my body dies slowly, i can feel it badly.

So I don't understand your point of view of having to 'grow and fortify your spirit' while becoming smaller. Never understood that idea of being weak to become strong, it doesn't make any sense to me sorry. Like also saying the weak or poor have God's favor or stuff like that. Why? to me sounds like mind tricks to keep people under and down and control them but who knows.

After the attack where i did that stuff with the gun and had to go to therapy and stuff, i was about to turn 14 and because of what happened i was invited to a church, had never been in one before but they said it was healing and something. The preach did his thing and i found it horrible how people had to kneel and other stuff. It was terrible in my eyes i could not understand why do that at all. Like losing all your strength and becoming a servant and just not having any strong spirit in you, like when you lose a fight and have to ask for forgiveness to the dumbass that hit you hard, no more will to fight, no more will to live, just laying down to let him do whatever he wants. To me that's horrible, i can't figure out sorry

Then i learned the preach knew about me and he was kind and all that stuff and asked me to say all i wanted and reassuring i was in God's house and stuff. But then i asked too many things i did not get and i could not figure out why they all thought it was normal until he got angry and slapped me because i was heretic, whatever that means. I think i asked the wrong questions lmao! he did not had answers and he did not like for me to show the dumbness i was thinking of it all in front of the church people

I don't think i came to change anything in the current world, no one does i feel. but i also feel also we can not fix but replace.

No need to fix if we can restart, why fix broken when you can clean up and build without the reason things get broken in the first place? And people would if possible change minds but i know lots would not like it, but eventually things happen, people replace other peole and it may be sad or make others angry but humans replace each other until no one else from previous times are alive. We all know that. So it moves forwards

Don't remember who told me, but you don't try to always fix broken, instead you have a clean slate and start from scratch. You learn from the past not to fix the broken, but to avoid repeating the same mistakes. Something like that

Sorry if i don't make much sense, im not always feeling clear in mind, but lots of friends and me feel like this < 3

a reply to: BoneSay

So I don't understand your point of view of having to 'grow and fortify your spirit' while becoming smaller. Never understood that idea of being weak to become strong, it doesn't make any sense to me sorry.

Oh, I was just responding to you saying your hand felt too big to move. So you grow and fortify your spirit/will. I didn't mean anything about 'being weak to become strong.' That doesn't make any sense to me either!

How are you today?

originally posted by: new_here
a reply to: BoneSay

So I don't understand your point of view of having to 'grow and fortify your spirit' while becoming smaller. Never understood that idea of being weak to become strong, it doesn't make any sense to me sorry.

Oh, I was just responding to you saying your hand felt too big to move. So you grow and fortify your spirit/will. I didn't mean anything about 'being weak to become strong.' That doesn't make any sense to me either!

How are you today?

I'm like a bit broken.. lmfao!

Sorry for dark humor lmao, I'm like that most times

Thanks for your reply, i guess i went crazy answering previous post lol, sorry

Just another day for me, nothing really changed much except i got chokolate bites and a smoothie and it was great as compared to hospital food 😆

Have a nice weekend b🙋

originally posted by: BoneSay

originally posted by: new_here
a reply to: BoneSay

So I don't understand your point of view of having to 'grow and fortify your spirit' while becoming smaller. Never understood that idea of being weak to become strong, it doesn't make any sense to me sorry.

Oh, I was just responding to you saying your hand felt too big to move. So you grow and fortify your spirit/will. I didn't mean anything about 'being weak to become strong.' That doesn't make any sense to me either!

How are you today?

I'm like a bit broken.. lmfao!

Sorry for dark humor lmao, I'm like that most times

Thanks for your reply, i guess i went crazy answering previous post lol, sorry

Just another day for me, nothing really changed much except i got chokolate bites and a smoothie and it was great as compared to hospital food 😆

Have a nice weekend b🙋

Hey you keep that humor, dark or otherwise. Your attitude will go a long way towards seeing you thru these days of healing.
And, yay for chocolate any day!
Hey what's your prognosis? Do they take it day to day, or do they give a general date of when you might be healed enough to leave the hospital? Do you mind if I pray for you in earnest?

just awful bonesay. I hate to read that you think you are broken, the adaptations we make in behavior and thought saved our lives both in the time of our trauma and after. You are working well, we just need to rewire how we think. just learning this myself. glad you can write about some of this stuff, good to let the stuff out.

originally posted by: new_here

originally posted by: BoneSay

originally posted by: new_here
a reply to: BoneSay

So I don't understand your point of view of having to 'grow and fortify your spirit' while becoming smaller. Never understood that idea of being weak to become strong, it doesn't make any sense to me sorry.

Oh, I was just responding to you saying your hand felt too big to move. So you grow and fortify your spirit/will. I didn't mean anything about 'being weak to become strong.' That doesn't make any sense to me either!

How are you today?

I'm like a bit broken.. lmfao!

Sorry for dark humor lmao, I'm like that most times

Thanks for your reply, i guess i went crazy answering previous post lol, sorry

Just another day for me, nothing really changed much except i got chokolate bites and a smoothie and it was great as compared to hospital food 😆

Have a nice weekend b🙋

Hey you keep that humor, dark or otherwise. Your attitude will go a long way towards seeing you thru these days of healing.
And, yay for chocolate any day!
Hey what's your prognosis? Do they take it day to day, or do they give a general date of when you might be healed enough to leave the hospital? Do you mind if I pray for you in earnest?

Thank you and yes, i am cool with you and thank you for thinking of me

Going out of here a month from now i think

Already got me a special bed and all the stuff needed, at home so feeling happy to get away soon. no other news but old news still good news.. right?

Very positive this my custom next holloweeen lmao



I'm so grateful for autocorrect lol

originally posted by: kinglizard
just awful bonesay. I hate to read that you think you are broken, the adaptations we make in behavior and thought saved our lives both in the time of our trauma and after. You are working well, we just need to rewire how we think. just learning this myself. glad you can write about some of this stuff, good to let the stuff out.

I will fix my broken body at time, don't worry much i laugh about it, you must not worry more than i do lol. I was through stuff way before this thing so everything cool

originally posted by: BoneSay

originally posted by: new_here

originally posted by: BoneSay

originally posted by: new_here
a reply to: BoneSay

So I don't understand your point of view of having to 'grow and fortify your spirit' while becoming smaller. Never understood that idea of being weak to become strong, it doesn't make any sense to me sorry.

Oh, I was just responding to you saying your hand felt too big to move. So you grow and fortify your spirit/will. I didn't mean anything about 'being weak to become strong.' That doesn't make any sense to me either!

How are you today?

I'm like a bit broken.. lmfao!

Sorry for dark humor lmao, I'm like that most times

Thanks for your reply, i guess i went crazy answering previous post lol, sorry

Just another day for me, nothing really changed much except i got chokolate bites and a smoothie and it was great as compared to hospital food 😆

Have a nice weekend b🙋

Hey you keep that humor, dark or otherwise. Your attitude will go a long way towards seeing you thru these days of healing.
And, yay for chocolate any day!
Hey what's your prognosis? Do they take it day to day, or do they give a general date of when you might be healed enough to leave the hospital? Do you mind if I pray for you in earnest?

LOL, I love it-- looks like a human marshmallow. Take care no one tries to toast you! (Not the happy kind with clinking glasses... you know, the kind that sets you ablaze!)

I'm so grateful for autocorrect lol

Me too, and I don't even have the excuse of re-learning the using my fingers!

So what do you do all day, besides cruise the net? Do they have you up and moving about yet? Are the nurses good to you? Do you get a lot of visitors? Do you feel like we're visitors when we post in your thread.

originally posted by: new_here

originally posted by: BoneSay

originally posted by: new_here

originally posted by: BoneSay

originally posted by: new_here
a reply to: BoneSay

So I don't understand your point of view of having to 'grow and fortify your spirit' while becoming smaller. Never understood that idea of being weak to become strong, it doesn't make any sense to me sorry.

Oh, I was just responding to you saying your hand felt too big to move. So you grow and fortify your spirit/will. I didn't mean anything about 'being weak to become strong.' That doesn't make any sense to me either!

How are you today?

I'm like a bit broken.. lmfao!

Sorry for dark humor lmao, I'm like that most times

Thanks for your reply, i guess i went crazy answering previous post lol, sorry

Just another day for me, nothing really changed much except i got chokolate bites and a smoothie and it was great as compared to hospital food 😆

Have a nice weekend b🙋

Hey you keep that humor, dark or otherwise. Your attitude will go a long way towards seeing you thru these days of healing.
And, yay for chocolate any day!
Hey what's your prognosis? Do they take it day to day, or do they give a general date of when you might be healed enough to leave the hospital? Do you mind if I pray for you in earnest?

LOL, I love it-- looks like a human marshmallow. Take care no one tries to toast you! (Not the happy kind with clinking glasses... you know, the kind that sets you ablaze!)

I'm so grateful for autocorrect lol

Me too, and I don't even have the excuse of re-learning the using my fingers!

So what do you do all day, besides cruise the net? Do they have you up and moving about yet? Are the nurses good to you? Do you get a lot of visitors? Do you feel like we're visitors when we post in your thread.

Mostly sleep all day lmao, but have to go to therapy for hip, hands, back and all the issues with left leg. mostly get very tired and go sleep after

And watch lots of movies when possible lol 🤷

Nurses are very nice and patient, even when i make them go crazy lmao. like this time it got very hot and i felt i could not take it more and started yelling for help, and one of the nurses came running very scared and i said "can you please turn up the the ac? its hot in here!..." lmao! I though she would throw me out the window but she was angry and happy at the same time that i wasn't diying lol and eventually she laughed with me. but told me to never do it again < 3

i was not able to receive visits for first two months, then once i was just very close friends because head injuries looked very bad and i was not feeling cool to show like that 😔

I don't logjn much but its nice to be able to read and talk to other people

originally posted by: BoneSay

originally posted by: new_here

originally posted by: BoneSay

originally posted by: new_here

originally posted by: BoneSay

originally posted by: new_here
a reply to: BoneSay

So I don't understand your point of view of having to 'grow and fortify your spirit' while becoming smaller. Never understood that idea of being weak to become strong, it doesn't make any sense to me sorry.

Oh, I was just responding to you saying your hand felt too big to move. So you grow and fortify your spirit/will. I didn't mean anything about 'being weak to become strong.' That doesn't make any sense to me either!

How are you today?

I'm like a bit broken.. lmfao!

Sorry for dark humor lmao, I'm like that most times

Thanks for your reply, i guess i went crazy answering previous post lol, sorry

Just another day for me, nothing really changed much except i got chokolate bites and a smoothie and it was great as compared to hospital food 😆

Have a nice weekend b🙋

Hey you keep that humor, dark or otherwise. Your attitude will go a long way towards seeing you thru these days of healing.
And, yay for chocolate any day!
Hey what's your prognosis? Do they take it day to day, or do they give a general date of when you might be healed enough to leave the hospital? Do you mind if I pray for you in earnest?

LOL, I love it-- looks like a human marshmallow. Take care no one tries to toast you! (Not the happy kind with clinking glasses... you know, the kind that sets you ablaze!)

I'm so grateful for autocorrect lol

Me too, and I don't even have the excuse of re-learning the using my fingers!

So what do you do all day, besides cruise the net? Do they have you up and moving about yet? Are the nurses good to you? Do you get a lot of visitors? Do you feel like we're visitors when we post in your thread.

Mostly sleep all day lmao, but have to go to therapy for hip, hands, back and all the issues with left leg. mostly get very tired and go sleep after

And watch lots of movies when possible lol 🤷

Nurses are very nice and patient, even when i make them go crazy lmao. like this time it got very hot and i felt i could not take it more and started yelling for help, and one of the nurses came running very scared and i said "can you please turn up the the ac? its hot in here!..." lmao! I though she would throw me out the window but she was angry and happy at the same time that i wasn't diying lol and eventually she laughed with me. but told me to never do it again < 3

i was not able to receive visits for first two months, then once i was just very close friends because head injuries looked very bad and i was not feeling cool to show like that 😔

I don't logjn much but its nice to be able to read and talk to other people

Well sleep is good! That's when your body does most of its repairs.

Do you see the progress in your physical therapy? Are you patient with yourself or do you get very frustrated?

I'm glad you have a way to communicate with people when no one is around. I suppose you have a cell phone too, where you can text friends and family? I just don't want you to feel alone. People are with you in spirit, even if they aren't physically present. You are always on my mind when I log onto ATS in the morning, to see if you've given an update. "What does BoneSay have to say about her bones today?"

I'm old enough to be your mother, and I don't know you from Adam really, but I'm really pulling for you. I think you have such a strong will, and a healthy sense of humor, and I see you overcoming this far better than most would, and having an amazing story to tell about the power of the human spirit to prevail against the odds.

You must be in a different time zone, or just have freaky-weird sleep schedule, haha. You usually post around 2AM my time. I live in South Carolina. It's hot as hell here too.

I wish you chocolate and hearty laughs today! If you have Hulu, check out "Miranda." British humor, if you like that... it's freaking hysterical!

originally posted by: new_here

originally posted by: BoneSay

originally posted by: new_here

originally posted by: BoneSay

originally posted by: new_here

originally posted by: BoneSay

originally posted by: new_here
a reply to: BoneSay

So I don't understand your point of view of having to 'grow and fortify your spirit' while becoming smaller. Never understood that idea of being weak to become strong, it doesn't make any sense to me sorry.

Oh, I was just responding to you saying your hand felt too big to move. So you grow and fortify your spirit/will. I didn't mean anything about 'being weak to become strong.' That doesn't make any sense to me either!

How are you today?

I'm like a bit broken.. lmfao!

Sorry for dark humor lmao, I'm like that most times

Thanks for your reply, i guess i went crazy answering previous post lol, sorry

Just another day for me, nothing really changed much except i got chokolate bites and a smoothie and it was great as compared to hospital food 😆

Have a nice weekend b🙋

Hey you keep that humor, dark or otherwise. Your attitude will go a long way towards seeing you thru these days of healing.
And, yay for chocolate any day!
Hey what's your prognosis? Do they take it day to day, or do they give a general date of when you might be healed enough to leave the hospital? Do you mind if I pray for you in earnest?

LOL, I love it-- looks like a human marshmallow. Take care no one tries to toast you! (Not the happy kind with clinking glasses... you know, the kind that sets you ablaze!)

I'm so grateful for autocorrect lol

Me too, and I don't even have the excuse of re-learning the using my fingers!

So what do you do all day, besides cruise the net? Do they have you up and moving about yet? Are the nurses good to you? Do you get a lot of visitors? Do you feel like we're visitors when we post in your thread.

Mostly sleep all day lmao, but have to go to therapy for hip, hands, back and all the issues with left leg. mostly get very tired and go sleep after

And watch lots of movies when possible lol 🤷

Nurses are very nice and patient, even when i make them go crazy lmao. like this time it got very hot and i felt i could not take it more and started yelling for help, and one of the nurses came running very scared and i said "can you please turn up the the ac? its hot in here!..." lmao! I though she would throw me out the window but she was angry and happy at the same time that i wasn't diying lol and eventually she laughed with me. but told me to never do it again < 3

i was not able to receive visits for first two months, then once i was just very close friends because head injuries looked very bad and i was not feeling cool to show like that 😔

I don't logjn much but its nice to be able to read and talk to other people

Well sleep is good! That's when your body does most of its repairs.

Do you see the progress in your physical therapy? Are you patient with yourself or do you get very frustrated?

I'm glad you have a way to communicate with people when no one is around. I suppose you have a cell phone too, where you can text friends and family? I just don't want you to feel alone. People are with you in spirit, even if they aren't physically present. You are always on my mind when I log onto ATS in the morning, to see if you've given an update. "What does BoneSay have to say about her bones today?"

I'm old enough to be your mother, and I don't know you from Adam really, but I'm really pulling for you. I think you have such a strong will, and a healthy sense of humor, and I see you overcoming this far better than most would, and having an amazing story to tell about the power of the human spirit to prevail against the odds.

You must be in a different time zone, or just have freaky-weird sleep schedule, haha. You usually post around 2AM my time. I live in South Carolina. It's hot as hell here too.

I wish you chocolate and hearty laughs today! If you have Hulu, check out "Miranda." British humor, if you like that... it's freaking hysterical!

Thank you 😊

I sleep most of the afternoon so im always awake at that time he he. Use a cell phone and an ipad for netflix, most times there is someone around so i don't spend much time alone

made some progress this month but not as fast as i wish, you know how Chihuaha dogs are half trembling and half anger management issues? that's me right now 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

a reply to: BoneSay

AHAHA!! We had a hyper chihuahua when I was growing up, and my mom has an old grouchy one right now. I know exactly what you mean. Somehow those little doggos seem to get what they want/need. So I say carry on-- express your inner Chihuahua, haha. I think you might just be stubborn enough to beat this!

What are you watching good on Netflix? New season of "Stranger Things" comes out tomorrow right?!

originally posted by: new_here
a reply to: BoneSay

AHAHA!! We had a hyper chihuahua when I was growing up, and my mom has an old grouchy one right now. I know exactly what you mean. Somehow those little doggos seem to get what they want/need. So I say carry on-- express your inner Chihuahua, haha. I think you might just be stubborn enough to beat this!

What are you watching good on Netflix? New season of "Stranger Things" comes out tomorrow right?!

Lmao i do have a doggy like that as well, well now she lives with my cousin but i hope she will remember me once i can see her again 💜

Yes i have waited for so long for that show and it just came up on notification it's on right now 😱

lmao best thing about this is i can binge watch with no problem 🤷

Hope you have a great 4th


BoneSay lmao.. that came from middle school nicknames, always so skinny i got got names like that but i'm Zayra Alisa lol, most people call me Say or Ali, except at home when im always Alisa and in US family i'm Dawn as it was the name i was supposed to get at birth lol