Contacting an ex... Why do I feel like I need to now?

Long long long story short, recently I have been having strong urges to reach out to my ex for no apparent reason. I am currently in a happy committed relationship (married with two kids and one on the way.) So I am in no way interested in attempting to rekindle or anything of that nature.

A brief history is she was my first true love, the girl I originally thought I was going to marry, we atarted dating in college and the happenstance of our meeting was so unlikely that at the time we both thought it was meant to be prep ordained blah blah blah. This lead to a long distance relationship that from my end seemed to be working fairly well despite everything. I was at this time a jealous twatsickle on occasion and was very critical of some of her male friends but mom the less things seemed to be going well to the point I planned on proposing to her the next time I saw her. Fastforward a bit and we broke up coincidentally on the same day I had put a deposit on a ring (she was unaware of this at the time) and was planning a move to be with her.

Needless to say I took it very very badly and my life spiraled out of control for a wile that is until I eventually met my wife and I started to sober up and get my life back on track.

About a year agter my wofe and myself started daiting I was contacted by my ex wanting to give it another go and at the time I gave it some thought but realized I had a good thing going and wanted to stick it out and see what happened. (That was 12 years ago give or take so yeah I made the right call lol)
I still wasnt truly over my ex at that point and would still talk to her a "stalk" her blogs and what not until I came across a confessional about our time together and how she had cheated on me a few times and how sorry she was among talking about how she missed me and blah blah blah .... I did not take it well and I honestly got angry that we were friendly still and I had to find out through a blog post she didnt know I was aware of. Shortly after that was the last time I talked to or had contact with her.

Years have passed and while I have had the occasional thought or dream that involved her in one way or another I have never felt the need or want to contact her until yesterday.

For some gpd unkown reason yesterday something clicked in my head telling me I need to contact her and I camt get her out of my head. I dont know why it's not that I want to get back together or that I need her in my life I am perfectly happy without bringing that kinda of drama down around my ears. I just dont get it. Thanks for listening and any and all feedback will be taken , this in just bot a conversation I really wanted to have with my wife as well I doubt she would take it well. Lol

called "old age syndrome "

best to keep your dreams away from the phone

a reply to: musicismagic

Maybe so, I do feel the need to clarify the dreams are not lude or even sexual in nature those faded a long long time ago in a galaxy far away and now more center on conversations about punk rock and philosophy. Lol

Sounds like deep down you are looking for a boody call. If you wife is pregnant it affects you as well. Be careful, you may risk your present relationship for a seeming easy moment.
I have been reading to much Ann Landers.

a reply to: Nickn3

Lmao no, my wife isnt far enough along to have that effect yet lol and also the last I was aware she was living in washington state and I live in Kansas so that would be a. Hell of a drive just to ruin my life and lose half of everything. Not to mention my wife is Irish Catholic and would blow up my car with me in it and just pray for forgiveness later that day.....

So.....married, 2 kids, wife is pregnant and you have a sudden urge to contact a long lost ex.

Hope you got a good divorce lawyer.


You're gonna need it.

Seems like a good way to ruin what you got.

Choice is your eh?

originally posted by: crimsongod21
a reply to: musicismagic

Maybe so, I do feel the need to clarify the dreams are not lude or even sexual in nature those faded a long long time ago in a galaxy far away and now more center on conversations about punk rock and philosophy. Lol

I wasn't on the thought of the above, just plan and simple, you are married. Keep it that way.

I recently think of my high school sweetheart. It has to do with , I wonder whatever happen to her. We were best of friends. Would I like to me her, sure. But I wouldn't go out and search for her. If I happened to run into her, it would just be "cool". And I'd continue with my life.

I have no intention of doing it the question is why, and why now?

My wife and I have had our rough patches as all married couples do but we have worked through them and are doing very well at the moment.

I have never thought about leaving or cheating on my wife and I still dont.

The feeling is almost as if the ex is in some sort of trouble and needs help, that being said I have no way to confirm this as we have no mutual friends or contact whatsoever.

Meh guess I should have just kept it to myself anyways it seems people are so jaded these days that this could only mean one thing regardless of the words that I type out.

Probably not all that happen thus the yearning but whatevs right?

What are we supposed to assume?

Clearly you aren't over that person.

a reply to: musicismagic

That is fair and I have no intentions of searching for her or making an attempt at contact. I dont have to worry to much about running in to her as we live states apart as far as I know.

a reply to: Lysergic

Maybe you are right I just assumed the last decade without a thought or care about her meant that I was over it and had moved beyond it.

a reply to: crimsongod21

i hook up with my ex's often, friends with all of them, we connected once so still have that base love, just not in love. message her like a friend, have a coffee or something together, my ex's are my sista's

I'm a strong believer in dreams and intuition, and acting on them, but in your case, I would leave the past in the past. If she is in need of "help"- well she no doubt has friends and family for that purpose and doesn't specifically need you for help.
If you contact her you risk your wife finding out and causing trouble in your marriage. Why risk a good thing? Why risk your family? Stay focused on the present and the future!

Sal

a reply to: crimsongod21

a reply to: crimsongod21

Consider what you have and value it. There is nothing wrong with still caring about what happens to your ex but you cannot let that influence the life you now have, imho.

If you want to help, you should discuss it with your wife. Honesty is the best policy.

Well, you asked the internet, so here it goes. You were a clingy naive sensitive fool to believe a 21st century American woman would be able to maintain a long distance relationship. But don't feel too bad, if it we're not her to get lonely and cheat it would have been you eventually. You be best to mention that to your children and your children's children to avoid being so clingy and overly sensitive about the first vagina you plunge into. The first ten ladies are just practice.

And second , If your thinking about flipping the script now and get some side action, just do it and keep it to yourself. No anon Internet confessions/ vieled permission seeking necessary. In fact, by the powers vested in me by #ty cheaters of America, I grant you permission.

Go forth and spread the legs of the world!

a reply to: worldstarcountry

Wow, there is a lot to unpack here but I will touch on what I feel is relevant.

She wasnt the first....partner I had lol maybe I was over clingy who knows.

I have no plans of chasing side action, no desire to even think of opening up thst can of worms ha ha I would hate to disapoint any one other than my wife jk.

You have an awfully cynical view of people to think the way you do but alas that is something I do not have the ability to help or chamge.

originally posted by: crimsongod21
a reply to: Nickn3

Lmao no, my wife isnt far enough along to have that effect yet lol and also the last I was aware she was living in washington state and I live in Kansas so that would be a. Hell of a drive just to ruin my life and lose half of everything. Not to mention my wife is Irish Catholic and would blow up my car with me in it and just pray for forgiveness later that day.....

Utah is your middle ground. You can have as many wives as you please there. I personally could neither tolerate nor afford more than one, but I wouldnt judge the affairs of another man.

a reply to: drewlander

Lmao no thank you. I couldnt imagine disappointing more than one woman ha ha ha.

Not to mention Utah ewwww lol

She doesn't want to hear from you....you are a Family man...you are out of play big fella….lol...lol....but dreams are free...why don't you buy a MyPillow designed and sold by an ex-CRACK dealer Mike Lindell ...they say it performs miracles....mudt be something in the fabric huh????….lol...lol. but it might make your dreams come true.