My Unabashedly PRO LGBT Song...and how I've now changed

This is going to be long...

So recently I've found I've become very active on ATS. I've been a member here for years, but something just recently has really clicked in me and I've been both making threads as well as contributing with comments to several others. One thing that I appreciate about myself as I've gotten older is the objective view that I'm increasingly able to take as it relates to my own life. That is to say, I can look at my behavior and words and gain an almost dissociative vantage upon what is actually occurring inside of me, the root of my feelings as expressed in my words and thoughts.

Well, today I was highly engaged in a thread and one of our cherished members challenged me, and I realized that her challenge took the form (very lovingly mind you) at pointing out my distrust and outright ire toward the LGBT community, and I suddenly saw the truth of these feelings inside of me and how deeply they seethed. I made a brief reply to her, but it inspired me to make this thread and share my thoughts on this inner revelation with the community because I suspect that in this thing, I am far from alone. Now, you'll have to forgive me, but this next is going to be a bit of a personal narrative on my personal relationship with all things LGBT; where I come from in regards to opinion forming, where it led me, and ultimately, where I find myself now. If you care to read this...buckle up.

I grew up in a trailer park outside of Fort Worth, Texas. I begin with this because I think you can nary get more redneck than that. The mindset of said community is obviously somewhat limited and open bias toward minority groups, both ethnic and especially gay, was more than palpable, it was lauded and expected. When I was growing up the worst thing a person could be was gay, and there was no higher insult than calling someone a 'fag'. We would engage in the gossip about some celebrity or other coming out as gay, and after that, that person was pretty much verboten in any future praise, left only instead to derision. I remember being completely devastated when my musical hero, David Bowie, was rumored to have had a sexual encounter with Mick Jagger. Everyone knew what a huge Bowie fan I was, I was crest-fallen.

As if my up-bringing did not sufficiently push me toward a mentality of bitter hatred toward gays, I chose for my life's profession that of a soldier. I attended West Point, graduating in '98 and going on to become a helicopter pilot in the Air Cavalry of the 82d Airborne Division. Now for those of y'all that aren't quite "in the know", this was during the time of "Don't ask, Don't tell," a policy started under then president Bill Clinton. I can absolutely attest that during my time of service the general attitude on homosexuality was little different than that which I had experienced in that trailer park of my youth outside of Fort Worth.

Still, through this all, I was never filled with the hatred for that group that I witnessed among my fellows, it just never made sense to me and I never engaged in it either aloud or in my spirit. I guess I come from a spiritual school of 'live and let live,' a treatise that I see many on ATS espouse and which I generally still hold as a guiding principle in life. In my unit in the Cav, our S1 NCO (that means the sergeant who is in charge of the Squadron's personnel shop, like HR for the Army) was a flamboyantly gay black man, and I mean this guy could break a nine dollar bill in threes. Everyone knew he was gay (although under DADT he never mentioned it aloud), and you know what...no one gave a flying fiddler's f**k. He was awesome at his job, amazing at it really, and without him that shop would have been screwed. He was a soldier of profound asset to the unit, and so no one, not the Colonel, not the Sergeant Major, no one gave a s**t. I remember one day leading a unit run right through the middle of Fort Bragg, and the soldier calling cadence began calling out an anti-homosexual cadence. If you've never heard a true Army cadence called before, they can be very rough and very explicit, sex and killing and terrible graphic descriptions of both. You wouldn't repeat them around polite company or elder relatives. So this cadence was all about violence toward gays, and I stopped that whole unit right then and there, pulled them off the road, had them gather around, and explained to them in no uncertain terms why we were never again going to call such cadence in this unit or any other. Mind you, this would have been around 1999, and unlike today where it would be trendy and lauded to do so, at the time this was shocking to most that I did this and was considered aberrant to unit norms.

I've also been gay-bashed (a term I don't really hear much any longer but was one of some prevalence in my day because it actually used to happen). I was in flight school in Alabama and my neighbor was a young gay man. He was friends with my roommate, a beautiful young woman and theatre student at Troy State, and subsequently became my friend. One night while out at a local club popular among the college crowd, I saw said fellow set upon by three monsters, and by monsters I mean 3 starting offensive linemen for the Troy State football team. These guys were huge, each weighing in around 270 or so. Well, me clocking in at a devastating 5'9", 160 lbs didn't fair very well, but none-the-less jumped into the fray, pushed my neighbor off to safety and took the whooping in his place (I knew I had a far far better chance of holding my own against them then he).

Now, I've no doubt that there are those who are going to say that the above is, what the hell is it called...virtue signaling? Something like that, I got accused of it once on here and I admit that I hate the term. i mention the above simply to say that I have not only not exercised hatred toward gays, but have actively defended that community both with my reputation and life. Following my 10 years of service, I moved to Hollywood and ran a 7 piece band, and for me this was really my first big foray into the gay community. The above stories are more one offs, because I didn't have a lot of exposure to gays and so those stories were sort of exceptional exceptions to my life. Hollywood...different story. I quickly fell into the scene in LA and was blessed with a certain popularity that saw me flowing quite heartily through the privileged social cliques of my surroundings. Obviously this involved a lot of interaction with gays of every ilk, and though this was all new to me, I found that there was no sense of revulsion nor the slightest hint of hatred or judgment. I made several close friends in the gay community and was welcomed among them as a trusted friend. I was able to find in those times that the indoctrination of my youth did not hold sway over my reality of relation to other human beings who I grew to love and admire regardless of their sexual orientation and preference. This realization was so powerful in me that a song emerged relating the feeling and experience of those times, the revelation, the epiphany, the song I present here which is aptly titled...

All The Same

Enter today. The person who wrote and recorded that song, played and sang from the passion of the heart and set to video to do justice to the injustice I perceived existed there...

a reply to: TheElectricPriest

...is gone. That's what I realized today when one of our members challenged me, and I suddenly saw how much I've changed in relation to my feelings about the LGBT community. My previous feelings of love and acceptance have been firmly replaced with disgust and ire. I see the community not as loving partners in the experience of life, but as an adversary who seek to dominate and control those from who they once sought only acceptance, and having been granted said acceptance have betrayed those who bestowed it, even when the rest of society said not to. The heart of the person writing this today is a little harder, and little sharper around the edges, and for that I am sorry, not because I am apologetic for these feelings, but because I am saddened that they formed in one such as me who never sought conflict with a community who has made itself an enemy of those who once sought to embrace it.

I have ire towards the LBGT community, but not the individuals. As citizens of the United States they have all the same rights that I do, however, their highly sexualized and in your face community is offensive to me.

originally posted by: Metallicus
I have ire towards the LBGT community, but not the individuals. As citizens of the United States they have all the same rights that I do, however, their highly sexualized and in your face community is offensive to me.

Oh yes...I'm glad you said so, I feel exactly the same way. As MLK told us, I judge each person by the content of their character. I suppose rather this is about a community that I used to actively support who, not only do I no longer support, but really seem to rather despise. I just find in that a tremendous shame...

I despise how normal lifestyles are now demonized while the groups that can't figure out which restroom they should use are celebrated as heroes. The world is going to hell in a handbasket and nobody seems to care.

Forgetting your posts substance, your writting style is amazing.

originally posted by: FawnyKate
Forgetting your posts substance, your writting style is amazing.

Well thank you. That is very nice of you to say, I truly appreciate it. As for the substance, I can certainly understand that there are those that would vehemently disagree with my stated feelings, but I would hope that you would understand that this isn't some purposeful treatise, but rather just an honest explanation about how I feel. My feelings are not overly intellectualized or thought out, but rather just very visceral. I offer them only in the spirit of honesty, right or wrong.

originally posted by: FawnyKate
Forgetting your posts substance, your writting style is amazing.

I was thinking the same thing... though I must say the substance of his post was amazing as well.
Kudos to you OP for an amazing well written post.👍🏼

I think the take-away is that prejudice is a hard program to overcome and that certain annoying individuals co-opt all worthy social reform movements, looking for their spotlight and faction and perhaps pushing too hard, too fast.

Many gay folks I know are equally annoyed, if not more so, as they see the damage certain loudmouths are potentially doing to a hard fought, difficult, partial "victory." They know that the "inclusive" pockets are rarer than it seems when immersed in them.

So, yup .... golden rule and all that and it goes both directions.

But I get a sense that you are feeling like they should back down due to some getting too uppity? Forgive me, as I know it seems to be more nuanced in your head, but ...

originally posted by: TheElectricPriest

originally posted by: Metallicus
I have ire towards the LBGT community, but not the individuals. As citizens of the United States they have all the same rights that I do, however, their highly sexualized and in your face community is offensive to me.

Oh yes...I'm glad you said so, I feel exactly the same way. As MLK told us, I judge each person by the content of their character. I suppose rather this is about a community that I used to actively support who, not only do I no longer support, but really seem to rather despise. I just find in that a tremendous shame...

Or could it be the evolution of protest and umbrage. They are only one of many.

originally posted by: Sheye

originally posted by: FawnyKate
Forgetting your posts substance, your writting style is amazing.

I was thinking the same thing... though I must say the substance of his post was amazing as well.
Kudos to you OP for an amazing well written post.👍🏼

Well thank you so much, sincerely. Putting myself out there for this post was a tad intimidating because I'm certainly opening myself to a relentless flaming, so jumping on here and seeing your kind words and support is, honestly, wonderful.

a reply to: Baddogma

i very much appreciate your post and your points. I think that the problem is that, in my stating my past and my upbringing, I think that although I should have been programmed toward bigotry I naturally wasn't, so that means that these feelings that are forming in my now are new and a result of new stimuli, new data, and it is this that is altering and shaping my present opinion. In this I don't feel personally responsible, because I believe that I'm having a reaction to what I'm observing in society. I'm like a test case in that regard, someone who should have been a bigot but wasn't, but am becoming less and less tolerant as I get older...

Certainly...I wouldn't disagree.

a reply to: TheElectricPriest

Okay, then what information/stimulus is making you feel this new/old resentment? Are you getting this information from certain media, or is it direct, real world experience in the people around you?

Secondly, if media, then could it be cherry picked to advance a certain agenda/viewpoint?

I bring this up because I've noticed people are getting more experience via electronic media than they do from "real world" direct experience these days. Framing of information is very, very powerful.

Simply curious and offering another possible perspective.

We only know what we know. Best regards.

a reply to: TheElectricPriest

Just to be honest, some of the things you post make me think your kind of insane(not that I don't think everyone on here, including me, isn't...) and if read that post written by most other people i'd probably laugh and think it's ridiculous but coming from you, this is actually one of the more heartfelt things i've seen on here lately, no offense.

I've always found people are just people. Everyone's #ed in some way. I figure as long as someone's #edupedness isn't harming someone it's not really my place to worry about it. I've also realized idiots yelling things on the internet actually tends to me a small minority of people regardless of what they're yelling about and pretty much everyone you see on the street or throughout your day is just a fairly average person trying to get by, regardless of what they do in their spare time or who they # or what they wear or their weird #ing hobbies.

I figure life's stressful, hard, confusing and downright #ed enough to spend too much time worrying about most of the #ed up things other people do.

originally posted by: Baddogma
a reply to: TheElectricPriest

Okay, then what information/stimulus is making you feel this new/old resentment? Are you getting this information from certain media, or is it direct, real world experience in the people around you?

Secondly, if media, then could it be cherry picked to advance a certain agenda/viewpoint?

I bring this up because I've noticed people are getting more experience via electronic media than they do from "real world" direct experience these days. Framing of information is very, very powerful.

Simply curious and offering another possible perspective.

We only know what we know. Best regards.

No no, it's a completely fair question, and I suppose I would say that I'm definitely framing my perspective from my experience with media. I suppose like so many I'm just getting so pissed about all this madness that seems to be growing up around these issues, and I think the thing that really sets me over the edge is the detriment that it poses to the children. I think that I really started to get upset with the trans movement. I saw the gay push becoming more and more ubiquitous, a gay character in every show, a gay couple in every commercial, a numerically inaccurate representation at every turn. Now I've lived extensively in Hollywood, as stated, so I understand the very real agenda that exists there, but this type of thing, though I was cognizant of it, didn't really set me off as much as I feel and am expressing now.

With the trans movement that seemed to just sweep across the world like a foul wind I observed the usherance of things that I just honestly didn't think that I would ever see. The complete obliteration of free speech and free thought. The absolute suppression of faith and religious thought and expression. The introduction of feelings to preempt facts. I mentioned in an earlier post today, fairly tongue and cheek when I mentioned it, that in Britain they are going to introduce into their curriculum in school that not only girls can have periods. There reasoning, as stated, is that it's insensitive to transgenders to teach that because it might make a transgender boy (or girl, whatever, I don't know what to call a person anymore) uncomfortable being taught that they can't have a period. You see, to me this is so over the top bat s**t insane that I cannot believe I'm even writing the words...and I'm sick of it. Right or wrong, I'm sick of it. That's just pure, 100% honest. I don't wake up to hate, I don't live to suppress, I am just sick of this bulls**t. And I said it earlier today and I'll say it again...it is so absolutely, unbelievably arrogant. That's what this all is to me...arrogance.

But I digress...thank you for your reply. I can tell you thought about what I had to say with a measured spirit, you didn't attack but simply sought to understand and for that I both appreciate and thank you...

PS: Has anyone listened to the damned song?!?

a reply to: Anathros

Complacency has created a society were the majority has fallen under the control of the minority.

As long as all we do is bitch and post, we will continue to see the society that we desire continue to fail. You can't expect a successful harvest when you ignore the weeds and allow the diseased plants to infect the rest of the crop.

originally posted by: dug88
a reply to: TheElectricPriest

Just to be honest, some of the things you post make me think your kind of insane(not that I don't think everyone on here, including me, isn't...) and if read that post written by most other people i'd probably laugh and think it's ridiculous but coming from you, this is actually one of the more heartfelt things i've seen on here lately, no offense.

I've always found people are just people. Everyone's #ed in some way. I figure as long as someone's #edupedness isn't harming someone it's not really my place to worry about it. I've also realized idiots yelling things on the internet actually tends to me a small minority of people regardless of what they're yelling about and pretty much everyone you see on the street or throughout your day is just a fairly average person trying to get by, regardless of what they do in their spare time or who they # or what they wear or their weird #ing hobbies.

I figure life's stressful, hard, confusing and downright #ed enough to spend too much time worrying about most of the #ed up things other people do.

Well in the words of the venerable Billy Joel; You may be right, I may be crazy (but it just may be a lunatic you're looking for). Your words are certainly not incorrect, and I appreciate what you had to say to me (there was the strangest mix of compliment and insult blended together in a truly mystifying fashion...I swear).

I completely agree, and maybe I need to unplug for awhile, but this agenda will persist whether I observe it or not (it's not Schrodinger's Cat, after all). As I said above, live and let live is what I've got, but I think we've gone past that now. How can you live and let live when others are no longer playing by those rules, when they want to change the minds of your children, to alter the fabric of your nation? I cannot help but to take these things personally, and though they might not represent as large a cross-section as they're made to, the voice booms as if a vast majority, and the subsequent silence of those they claim to represent must be then interpreted as, if nothing else, tacit approval.

originally posted by: NightSkyeB4Dawn
a reply to: Anathros

Complacency has created a society were the majority has fallen under the control of the minority.

As long as all we do is bitch and post, we will continue to see the society that we desire continue to fail. You can't expect a successful harvest when you ignore the weeds and allow the diseased plants to infect the rest of the crop.

Well, I certainly hope that's not what I'm doing, that is to say nothing but bitching and posting. You know, this thread has shocked me. For one, I think there was a certain catharsis in writing it, just blasting it all out there sans filter. The most amazing thing to me however is the response that I've received thus far. Believe me, I was fully prepared to be completely lambasted for this post, but that hasn't happened at all. I would say that the spirit of the responses I've received have had what I would describe as a very gentle and understanding tone, not a blanket agreement of course, but a kindness and empathy that is truly marvelous. Even those who I can see do not agree with my feelings (and that's what they are, they're feelings, not hateful thoughts born of ignorance), they have sought to understand the source and nature of those feelings.

I'll tell you, I'm so very impressed right now. I mean it, my heart is literally warmed by this...

a reply to: TheElectricPriest

Nah no insult. My mom always said crazy people are the best kind of people. Who wants to be normal? Normal's boring and everyone's crazy so it's the ones that think they're not you gotta worry about.