Picturing and actualisation - A Method?

Hey everyone, I hope this is in the correct forum.

This is something I've wanted to share online for quite a while but I've honestly felt too embarrassed to share it. I am a heavy sceptic, yet this one thing seems to strike at something fundamental within me. It sounds nuts I know! I'll get straight to it.

You know when you're laying in bed and you've got your eyes closed? If you do it for long enough, you can see white-ish spots, blurry wisps and cloud-ish looking things. This is a known phenomenon (prisoners cinema) and has many other names. Even in complete darkness, said wispy stuff can be seen and it has scientific answers. Have a google!

Now, ever since I was a child I'd always found it fascinating, so last year, around June, I decided to just try something. I was well aware that it didn't really do or mean anything. It is either a result of the imagination or a result of light. Knowing that, I went to bed early and simply concentrated on it. At first there were a few white "things", then I thought I should just go with it. What would you know, after an hour or so of relaxing and just looking (behind my eyelids I guess?) things get more complex.

I'd say around two weeks later, I had done it every night and one night, after about an hour again, there's a wave of sorts. This is hard to explain so try to picture this. A black TV screen, but every so often, as thought it is on a beat, this long white, thin cloud goes diagonally across the screen. I didn't now what to make of it and to be honest, it freaked me the hell out.

I told my partner and he was surprisingly interested in it. Then I wanted to try more since my mind was saying it is bulls&*t and doing the thing didn't actually have a purpose aside from feeling relaxing and looking cool.

I work in a highly competitive field and have done for just under six years. Now, for context, whether it was my imagination or not, at times I did see what I depicted to be objects, people and structures amongst the white stuff. I say white, it's just hard to explain. Cut to last month, I wanted to try and see specific things with the intention in mind of actualising them, mostly with work. Yes, that is new age rubbish "the universe will provide" pseudoscience, but I wanted to give it a try.

Anyway, the more I did it, for months and months now, the easier and more specific it seems. It is hard sometimes, but after relaxing enough it always works. As for actualising things, I've had results to which I could call positive, but that's just life so any results would be pointlessly subjective. Meaning, I couldn't ever know if I had any effect and I honestly know I can't since entropy and thermodynamics yo!

Thanks for reading. I know it sounds odd but it really is hard to word.

I forgot to add. The "wave" is oddly recurrent now and still freaks me out to the point of stopping.

You'd enjoy psilocybin. You're ready for your lesson it would seem.

I do this too sometimes make shapes/patterns out of the colors and lines that appear behind my eyelids. Sometimes I picture a sphere and I either zone in quickly so all of the colors/shapes become microscopic and eventually I'm flying through a tunnel. Or I zone out quickly so it becomes just a spec in the blackness. But my favorite is to get the 'light'. I describe it as the light you'd see when you're walking toward Heaven. It's the brightest more fiercely white light I've ever seen and it's so white/bright I always feel like it's going to physically hurt my eyes... but it doesn't. And it streams and streaks and is amazing! I can't explain it either.

a reply to: RighteousTwiglett

You zone it further and your astral body shakes uncontrollably prior to take off, do you ever see a tiny white pinpoint in the darkness when your trying to make out patterns out the shadow mist..

a reply to: ManyMasks

Yes! I actually try and wait for that pinpoint to appear so I can know I'm doing it correctly if there is such a thing.

It is so strange that you say that because (even though I described it as a star to my partner) it always looks like a bright, spontaneous pinpoint! Is there a purpose to it?

a reply to: Skorpiogurl

The light you described reminds me of the wave I mentioned. That is always super bright white.

a reply to: RighteousTwiglett

Right it's like brighter and whiter than lightening, almost like looking into a white sun, but doesn't hurt your eyes.

a reply to: Skorpiogurl

Exactly! I'm glad it ain't just me. Fascinating

a reply to: RighteousTwiglett

I dont know it always disappears when i notice it too much if you know what i mean, i imagine its a tunnel to higher awareness lol

it has been said that you should remain passive to all images that appear no matter how weird or wild and you go into a trance like state where you are conscious and able to traverse the unconscious or astral plain.... it is named a number of things.

not done it myself but had a near experience and lucid dream

a reply to: ManyMasks

Yeah! If you you can't actually look at it because when you do it just vanishes.

I do have a strange tale from last November. I decided to just follow it, you know what I mean, just go with the clouds and stuff. After about twenty minutes I kind of spaced out with it and I swear I could hear something that sounded what I imagine a pulse to sound like, or like blood flowing but it was super loud. That freaked me out a lot lol. After a few seconds of realising what I was hearing it went away.

a reply to: RighteousTwiglett

you should try listening for the high pitched eeeee sound when your doing your zoning out, once you hear it and concentrate on it, it becomes all you can hear, its quite mad.

been reading up a lot on things of the occult nature that relate to these methods of concentration.

you are a practising witch and you dont even know it..... we all are i suppose, but some go with their flow more.

a reply to: ManyMasks

I may try that tonight. Thank you.

At the end of the day, it is something fun for me and provides a great source of meditation too.

a reply to: RighteousTwiglett

This is what all the Yogi's are doing in their solitude in the mountains.

Push as deep through that as you can, you'll be amazed at what you may see/experience..

Lovely thread

a reply to: fluff007

Thank you

It is nice to be able to discuss this stuff.

Sounds a lot like sant mat yoga which I've been experimenting with lately. Look into the darkness behind the eyes until they see a light. Then listen for a sound as a previous poster mentioned.

Close your eyes as in sleep, and look sweetly, lovingly, intently 
into the middle of the darkness lying in front of you. You will see 
a dark veil. That which sees the dark veil within, without the help 
of your physical eyes, is the inner eye.

link

a reply to: RighteousTwiglett

I also have done this.... just watching the dark and light move and form.
One time it formed into a humming bird eating from a flower.... it was very clear.

I don't think there is a right or wrong way of doing it..... but I did not ask or expect any particular image to form.... it just appeared..... and I was amazed.

For me, I can only see the light for short periods of time, it always gets blocked out by an object or a veil, something I can't describe. I imagine those are the things in my life that are holding me back from whatever form of enlightenment this is. I keep trying to see through it or around it but it keeps getting in the way. I also have the high pitched sound, almost screaming, gets louder and louder to the point where it actually causes me physical pain in my ears. That's the point I realize I'm having an episode of sleep paralysis. I also have exploding head syndrome... look it up, it's a legitimate neurological condition. I hear loud SNAPs, light lightening, or aloud CRACK. Something about it makes my brain feel good. I can't explain it at all but I'm sure it all adds up to something big. My mom and my grandmother were very sensitive to these things, both had many visions of future events that actually happened. From small things to larger events. My mom once zoned out and had a vision of my brother walking down the street in the pouring rain trying to carry all of his gear. When she snapped out of it she got in her car and drove toward the school and sure enough, there's my brother trying to get down the street in the middle of a terrible storm carrying all of his gear, he missed the school bus. She also had a vision of the space shuttle exploding, exactly how it happened, days before it happened. For days she was in a full blow panic, praying that they'd delay the launch. We tried to get her to call someone... anyone in charge to warn them. But warn them of what? a vision? and then what? She'd be a suspect? The day of the launch she watched it in a complete panic and just kept saying "please stop the launch, please God stop the launch". The launch went off as planned and exploded, exactly as she saw it in her vision. Of course there is no proof of this other than her word and her vivid description of the event before it happened. I also have frequent visits of a tall dark shadow person. The entity found me while I was on vacation in Barbados. Each night I'd see the light I described earlier in this thread coming from around the doorway of my hotel room. The door would be pushed open slowly and the shadow figure would be standing there looking at me. Not menacing or anything, maybe just curious. When it noticed that I was looking back, it would disappear. It didn't follow me home but the memory is burnt into my brain and I know it remembers me too. Strange happenings indeed.

Any tips on how to stay awake? I am serious.