Love Myself - Really?

Have you ever heard somebody giving advice to a hopeless romantic and saying -

You must love yourself before anyone else can love you.

Well, I just wanted to post a short rant in my knowledge that day after day, the majority of the whole world proves to be completely Wrong. And not only are people wrong, but ignorance is rooted so deeply into their consciousness that if truth was to slap them in the face they would still reject it all cause.

We live in a selfish world. Another quote that apparently contradicts our favored quote is -

Love is not selfish.

Yet everybody is thinking that people must love themselves in order for somebody else to love them. Now I know some of that has truth to it, because love is care. What they are meaning is that if somebody doesn't care for themselves it is near impossible for somebody that does take care of themselves to fall in love with them.

Here is the point: there is more truth in people being selfish and loving themselves, than those same people having love for other people, but most importantly to me, they do not have love for God.

If a person does not love God, but loves themselves, is that really love? No! It is selfishness!

The whole root cause of the stereotype of the attractive woman marrying the wealthy man who is not really attractive and positive is such a Reality.

In my perception, and my experience of living in the world with a needy emotional side from being adopted and not loved by my birth mother, I have spent a lot of time dedicating myself to being a positive person. So if I go out into the world and I see somebody who is impatient, I make a choice to show others patience that day. Or if I see somebody frown at another person, I make a choice to go give smiles to people, or if I see that somebody is wanting attention I talk to them and try to cheer them up. I have tried, of being a good person. But that has only distanced me from who I have the most cherished heart for - women - a person that has learned to care only about themselves IS NOT attracted to a person who does care about others.

Remember these are the little traits of our personality that mark if we are Compatible or not.

But, we are missing an important factor that is horribly wrong in today's world - the people that claim they know God, truly DO NOT know God. The people that teach others in this world about God - Truly Are LIARS.

I know that this is what human love should be -

A person must love GOD more than they love themselves.

For a person to even understand what Love is - they must love God. God is the very existence that enables a being to understand and experience love. If a person does not love God they will not open themselves up to the infinite real love coming from the universe which is needed for that expansion of consciousness, and without the belief in Truth and Love from God they will always be deceived at some level and unable to open up to that level. It is not the belief in God which enables the love - it is the Real Communication that God Gives to you as beginning a Real relationship with the Real presence of the Spirit of God.

A person must love themselves as much as they love God.

This is what we already have as mentioned. People do love themselves as much as a person would Love their parent. My parent is God. Their parent is their mom or dad. My life shows who my parent is as my actions are based around it. Their life shows that the serpent has overcome their conscious because they do not belief in the ultimate truth. My life is the narrow path, the path of pain because I have rules I am subjected to.

A person must love other people as much as they love themselves.

Tell me, where do you see people loving strangers in this world? All you see when you step outside is people hating each other, and if you are in somebody's way, they will rush around you and grimace at you like your very existence is just a nuisance to them. That is the truth - love in this world exists in every day strangers but it is extremely rare and varies some of geographical locations. It takes somebody like me to show people they are loved to have that love and happiness come out, but in me doing that I have to encounter the people who disrespect me for trying to connect with them or talk to them, because of the massive amount of hatred they have for other human beings, which comes from the massive amount of dishonesty they have with themselves from rejecting the Parent that loves them.

Everybody - the birds care about us more than our own species do!!! There is no healing for me!!!

This world is horrible dishonest place with no love. If God told a woman that I am her soulmate, she will ditch me because she does not love God nor listen to God. If a woman finds that I love her, she will ditch me for someone that does not love her because she is put off by the idea of making me happy, she wants the excitement of being pursued and chased, and she knows that I am unable to be controlled. If a woman finds that I love God she will also hate me because of envy. I will continue to suffer because honesty in this world is NOT cherished in society, but instead people always have false intentions that becomes exposed eventually when it is time to be verified.

So this is why a good honest man is left alone in a wicked dishonest terrible world.

a reply to: MatterIsLight

I desire a man who knows and loves God. I wouldn't have said that even 5 years ago, but it's who I am now.

So- there ARE women out there who would love you. You just have to find her. It's easy to give up and lump everyone into one category. But there ARE people who don't got into the selfish category; maybe it's harder to come across them, but they're out there.

a reply to: MatterIsLight

I agree, it's terrible advice.

I love myself so much I practically never leave the house and it hasn't helped me one bit!

OP is a perfect example of what the phrase is trying to say.

Sadly, you will continue to be alone. You've placed yourself in a box with all your platitudes and rules and opinions.

When you have lived a little more, maybe you can learn to appreciate those who don't strictly share all of your prejudices.

At least, you have your God.

It's good advice and your OP proves it. Others keep letting you down and creating sadness?

Well you have to love yourself and not be reliant on others for happiness. It's good advice but people think it's stupid or silly because it's hard to do.

You have to work on yourself. However, people like to toss around sayings like that. Relationships will be a lot easier if you're more complete/content and have your own life.

i grew up without church, both my parents went to catholic school. on this site i like reading cause it opens me upto a lot of things. i think it said 1.8 million christians in the world in my college sociology textbook. nowadays with the younger generations it is the parents responsibility to expose them to their faith.

i think if you are a good person, kind and caring then you leave yourself open to love another. if you are not a good person selfish or hostile then maybe you dont love just around people. maybe you gotta love yourself to be happy or content with life so that you can show love to people. not just fall into routine and let little things bother you all day or snap back. try to see bigger picture.

i know other people all across country have their own views on god and life, just trying to add something.

a reply to: MatterIsLight

I wouldn't tell someone they have to love themselves before they can love someone else, but I have told people they need to have a relationship with themselves before they have another relationship with someone else.

And I say that because people oftentimes have very unrealistic expectations of other people in relationships. Sometimes people have to be alone, depend on themselves for everything, expect nothing of no one, ask nothing of no one, and simply do for one's self, to understand appropriate give and take in a relationship with someone else.

While there was much truth and some wisdom in your words, you sure put a whole lot of blame on others and gave others very little credit for anything, but thought rather highly of your place in the world.

We are all perfectly imperfect beings. We are all the beloved children of God. God does not compel us to good behavior; we have no right to compel or expect anything more. No one has to be nice to us or good to us or like us or anything else. The most we can ask of others is to leave us alone. That's what makes it an especially nice gesture on their part when people are good to others.

Perhaps you could benefit from looking for and appreciating what efforts others do make every day... rather than judging their efforts as not up to your standards. You might be surprised by what you find...

I have found that people who do not like/love themselves or even know who they really are inside and accept that, don't have cooperative relationships with others. They do not take any personal responsibility for their actions or emotions and transfer all of their un-confronted faults on the people they come into contact with.

If you don't know yourself and accept who you really are inside, how can you enter into a mutual relationship with another person?

a reply to: MatterIsLight

"Love" is one of those words that means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Historically, some cultures have used different words to elucidate the varying concepts that we lump into a single word in modern English. Kind of interesting, really.. maybe even a bit of conspiracy in there somewhere. Nowadays, many view it solely as emotion.

Its probably good to point out that advice generally addresses the way someone thinks things should be rather than the way they are now. I would even argue its implied in the concept of "advice."

In other words, the sayings you quote are almost entirely derived from the idea that things are not that way, rather than pointing out how everyone behaves globally.

It probably can't be overstated that this world is unfair. Sure, someone will frequently state "life isn't fair" when needling someone already in distress, but that doesn't invalidate anything.

Perhaps many of our issues as a civilization stem from thinking we are more advanced than we really are, but many things are still driven and reinforced by very, very old behavior.

Relationships and reproduction being a prime example of that.. There are some cold realities there, but I'm not so sure that your love of God precludes a relationship. That might be the "easiest" explanation for something you deem unfair, but its unlikely to be the sole factor.

There are a lot of things that make a relationship significantly less likely, bordering on impossible, but the universe can be a wacky place. Perhaps the best approach is to not expect life to deliver a relationship as if we are entitled to it. I'm speaking from experience on that, for what its worth. I have health issues, so it was pretty much game-over the moment that began.

There are still so many wonderful things though. Sure, we are "supposed" to find our fulfillment through marriage, essentially, but a lot of people never find that.

That doesn't mean there aren't a plethora of other avenues and paths to take in order to find whatever we are looking for in life. Tying that fulfillment into other people, or even just one person, can frequently lead to disaster. Expecting the love we give out to be returned is a surefire recipe for disappointment.

Pretty good rant though!

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

If not leaving the house isn't good for you, is it love for yourself that keeps you in it?

a reply to: MatterIsLight

Loving oneself is the most unselfish act one can make. When one truly loves oneself, one is free from the bandage of prejudice and ignorance, but is bound instead to duty. A duty to oneself, to humankind, and to the universal principles of the universe (some call this God, the Tao, the Absolute, etc).

Loving oneself means one becomes the master of their own lives, no longer requiring others to satisfy their inner cravings. It means being in control of our own nature. One takes responsibility for their own lives, improving themselves, thus improving the world around them.

Loving oneself is not selfish. Selfishness is not loving oneself. One is not served through selfishness. If a person is greedy, accumulating riches at the expense of others, do they love themselves? Does this truly serve a person, or are they controlled by their greed?

Loving oneself is accepting what one has and being truly grateful for it. Once a man stops striving for more out of craving and aspires to better himself, he has already began to help the world. Does not the world become better when a person aspires for embetterment, rather than craving success for personal gain?

Only after loving oneself can a person begin to love others. One isn't putting their happiness in the hands of others. That quite the burden to put on someone. How can one burden another with this load and call it love?

It is difficult to love oneself. It requires much inner reflection and a great deal of personal responsibility. This is not measured by ones ability to hold a job, own a home, and pay bills. It is measured by ones ability to understand oneself, aspirations for better character (because what else is there worth doing), and removing prejudice and ignorance from one's mind.

May you find peace.

Remember, the mind is the slayer of the real.

originally posted by: InwardDiver
a reply to: MatterIsLight

Loving oneself is the most unselfish act one can make. When one truly loves oneself, one is free from the bandage of prejudice and ignorance, but is bound instead to duty. A duty to oneself, to humankind, and to the universal principles of the universe (some call this God, the Tao, the Absolute, etc).

Loving oneself means one becomes the master of their own lives, no longer requiring others to satisfy their inner cravings. It means being in control of our own nature. One takes responsibility for their own lives, improving themselves, thus improving the world around them.

Loving oneself is not selfish. Selfishness is not loving oneself. One is not served through selfishness. If a person is greedy, accumulating riches at the expense of others, do they love themselves? Does this truly serve a person, or are they controlled by their greed?

Loving oneself is accepting what one has and being truly grateful for it. Once a man stops striving for more out of craving and aspires to better himself, he has already began to help the world. Does not the world become better when a person aspires for embetterment, rather than craving success for personal gain?

Only after loving oneself can a person begin to love others. One isn't putting their happiness in the hands of others. That quite the burden to put on someone. How can one burden another with this load and call it love?

It is difficult to love oneself. It requires much inner reflection and a great deal of personal responsibility. This is not measured by ones ability to hold a job, own a home, and pay bills. It is measured by ones ability to understand oneself, aspirations for better character (because what else is there worth doing), and removing prejudice and ignorance from one's mind.

May you find peace.

Remember, the mind is the slayer of the real.

Holy #. That was beautiful.

I need to read it a few more times.