Bit of advice please, about formal dinner stuff

a reply to: BoneSay

Best two pieces of advice in this thread: either do Russian, your food, OR some of your dad's favorite foods if you have those recipes.

I liked those pieces of advice about food. EVERYONE was so right about you being yourself though, because he is visiting because of his love for your dad (and thus you). So, no need to feel nervous and no need to try to impress anyone!

Let us know what you end up going with, and let us know how the visit goes. We're all cheering you on!

a reply to: BoneSay

1 tsp fennel seeds
1 tsp black peppercorn (or equivalent black pepper)
1/4 c kosher salt + some extra
1/4 c sugar
1 7-8 lb bone-in pork shoulder
1/4 c + 1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1/4 c packed lt. brown sugar
black pepper
1 large carrot
1 apple (Granny Smith or Fuji)
4 c stemmed mustard greens
1 tbsp olive oil

Day Before:
Crush fennel seeds and peppercorns with bottom of heavy skillet. Transfer spices to small bowl; 1/4 c salt and sugar. Rub mixture all over shoulder. Place in a large glass baking dish, cover, and refrigerate for at least 6 hours, preferably overnight.

Day of:
Preheat over to 325. Brush off spice rub from meat and place pork in a deep roasting pan; discard excess spice rub and any liquid in dish. Add 1 cup boiling water to roasting pan; cover tightly with foil. (Create a tight seal to lock in the steam and juices.)

Transfer pan to oven and roast until meat is very tender and falling off the bone (meat thermometer inserted in center without touching bone will read 195), about 5 1/2 hours.

Remove pan from oven; discard foil. Increase heat to 500. Stir in 1/4 cup vinegar and brown sugar into juices in pan. Return to oven and roast, watching closely to prevent burning, until pork is browned and liquid begins to reduce, about 12 minutes.

Transfer pork to a rimmed baking sheet; set aside. Pour liquid in pan into a small saucepan. Bring to boil and cook, occasionally spooning off fat from surface until a thick, syrupy glaze forms, about 10 minutes (there will be about 1 1/2 c glaze and up to 1 c fat; discard fat). Season glaze with salt and pepper; set aside.

Using peeler, peel carrot into thin ribbons. Core, quarter, and thinly slice apple. Mix carrot, apple, greens, oil and remaining 1 tbsp vinegar in a large bowl. Season with salt and pepper. Arrange on a platter. Top with pork; pour reserved glaze over pork. Serve with tongs.

Good luck! I hope it helps.

originally posted by: KansasGirl
a reply to: BoneSay

Best two pieces of advice in this thread: either do Russian, your food, OR some of your dad's favorite foods if you have those recipes.

I liked those pieces of advice about food. EVERYONE was so right about you being yourself though, because he is visiting because of his love for your dad (and thus you). So, no need to feel nervous and no need to try to impress anyone!

Let us know what you end up going with, and let us know how the visit goes. We're all cheering you on!

Thank you i will do for sure. And thanks for all the help, i can see things clear now, was going to make a big mistake trying to show off lol, but now i can see the way, really very happy for the help i got from you all

a reply to: BoneSay

Why I love this site so much!

a reply to: ketsuko

Fennel and pork is the best thing ever! Awesome recipe.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: BoneSay

1 tsp fennel seeds
1 tsp black peppercorn (or equivalent black pepper)
1/4 c kosher salt + some extra
1/4 c sugar
1 7-8 lb bone-in pork shoulder
1/4 c + 1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1/4 c packed lt. brown sugar
black pepper
1 large carrot
1 apple (Granny Smith or Fuji)
4 c stemmed mustard greens
1 tbsp olive oil

Day Before:
Crush fennel seeds and peppercorns with bottom of heavy skillet. Transfer spices to small bowl; 1/4 c salt and sugar. Rub mixture all over shoulder. Place in a large glass baking dish, cover, and refrigerate for at least 6 hours, preferably overnight.

Day of:
Preheat over to 325. Brush off spice rub from meat and place pork in a deep roasting pan; discard excess spice rub and any liquid in dish. Add 1 cup boiling water to roasting pan; cover tightly with foil. (Create a tight seal to lock in the steam and juices.)

Transfer pan to oven and roast until meat is very tender and falling off the bone (meat thermometer inserted in center without touching bone will read 195), about 5 1/2 hours.

Remove pan from oven; discard foil. Increase heat to 500. Stir in 1/4 cup vinegar and brown sugar into juices in pan. Return to oven and roast, watching closely to prevent burning, until pork is browned and liquid begins to reduce, about 12 minutes.

Transfer pork to a rimmed baking sheet; set aside. Pour liquid in pan into a small saucepan. Bring to boil and cook, occasionally spooning off fat from surface until a thick, syrupy glaze forms, about 10 minutes (there will be about 1 1/2 c glaze and up to 1 c fat; discard fat). Season glaze with salt and pepper; set aside.

Using peeler, peel carrot into thin ribbons. Core, quarter, and thinly slice apple. Mix carrot, apple, greens, oil and remaining 1 tbsp vinegar in a large bowl. Season with salt and pepper. Arrange on a platter. Top with pork; pour reserved glaze over pork. Serve with tongs.

Good luck! I hope it helps.

This is amazing, thank you so much! I would have never been able to come up with something like this, will use it for sure.

Thanks for the detailed explanation. For sure it will help, i'm not very good at cooking but there is a lady who helps me with that and she's very good, pretty sure she knows all about this

So reached this now

I will do this recipe sent from ketsuko, well not me but the cook i asked for help lol

I will also have Russian food, i'm pretty sure he hasn't been back there for a few years so i think it will be fine

And i will also have a bit of Mexican stuff like arrachera tacos and sausages

I can see now that i won't have to pretend to be something else lol, this is good enough and i will get back to you to tell you all how it all happened

Thank you so much for the advice, i was really lost but now i feel very confident. You are really amazing i love you all so much < 3

Also i can see that there is no need for nice tables and plates and silvery and stuff, i don't think that's needed at all, i will however have a bit of wine and tequila/whiskey. And Mexican food i'm not sure, as pointed out we can get that from any place around so it may be dumb, still thinking about it

Second thought was tomorrow have nice dinner at home and on Sunday going out for Mexican food at a nice place out there, i guess that's best

a reply to: BoneSay

Can I come?

The person may just enjoy having an informal dinner. Just remember, the five second rule is not real, dropping something on the floor may not be safe at all.

I would think a home cooked meal would be more appeasing for someone who is rich, but make sure to ask if the person is intolerant to something beforehand, lots of times someone doesn't realize that they are intolerant because they don't like it and there may be an underwriting reason from very long ago as to why they do not like a certain food chemistry. They could have subconsciously noticed that they felt crappy after eating it when they were very young. As an example, I hate dates and figs and I also have lots of problems with sulfite or high sulfur foods. I get headaches from them. Onions do not bother me too much but some things like turmeric I can only do a little amount of before getting a headache.

a reply to: pheonix358

Hahaha good one.

"See honey! this is how lower class people live. Glad you dressed for the occasion. Pair of fashion jeans an all."

Bally

a reply to: BoneSay

Put some pics up mate! Would love to see them.

bally

originally posted by: bally001
a reply to: BoneSay

Put some pics up mate! Would love to see them.

bally

Will try to do for sure

Don't know if they're willing to but will ask and if not then i will still post back with how it all went

Americans are not all that formal as a rule. They certainly do not expect you to "do American" for them. The best thing you could do is be welcoming and happy. They want to be accepted and are probably feeling a bit beleaguered these days. They want your friendship more than anything else.

a reply to: BoneSay

I am so delighted to see a member here concerned
about manners, etiquette, and tradition for a change.
This solidifies your concern and respect for others, and
the fact that you will go out of your way(comfort zone)
to create a pleasant atmosphere for all.

Good for you.
1.Beverages and Hors d' oeuvres (finger food, generally not in the sit down table area).
2. Main course of Fish,Poultry,or Beef, Should Include Salad/Pasta as Option.
3. Light and Cheerful Dessert/Brandy or fine wine.
4. Clean Bathroom and Towels (Very Important)
5. Ambient Lighting Beeswax Candles ( not necessarily on the dining table).

Blessings to You and your guests!
P.S. The host must remain calm and with statue at all times. (A minor formality).
S&F

a reply to: BoneSay

- Whatever you cook, cook it with love.

- Classical music. Soft, light piano tones, not too loud but hearable. Not "Carmina Burana - O Fortuna". It covers any eerie silent moments if they happen. Although most would never hear classical music on their own, they will only notice at times. It´s not for listening directly to it, it´s for the senses to be acompanied.

- The guest is in a relative unknown environment. Give the guest a little tour (the most common rooms, not the bedroom and the basement) so that the guest has a bit of orientation.

- If you do not have a guest bathroom, show them where fresh towels are for drying their hands.

- Offer a beverage and a place to sit, announce what you have planned for the evening (when food is ready for example).

- Ask if they had a pleasant travel.

- Make sure if the guest is very hungry and the food isn´t ready yet to offer some kind of appetizer at least.

- Napkins!

- If you offer alcoholic beverages you offer them in a seperate glas.

- As a good party host your main concern is that everyone feels comfortable.

Could go on for days and I left the obvious stuff (coat hangers, shoe policy etc).

a reply to: rickymouse

Good point, this is why I announce what I´m going to cook / ask them if they have something on their mind. If I know their preferences, I´ll go out of my way for them.

For example if I prepare beef roulade and someone dislikes pickles an onions, I will either find a substitute or prepare an extra roulade or two without those ingredients.

It depends of course. Do we dine in a small group or is it a casual party with snacks?

Never hurry during cooking, it should be ready when guests arrive but if you can´t make it, take your time. Two people can prepare the same recipt and the one that is cooked with love, where the ingedients are handled with respect and not just thrown into the pot, you will taste that.

When you cook with all your senses, the guests will notice. I do.

Thank you all for your great advice, things went beautiful tonight, i was unable to complete a recipe like ketsuko sent because it was a bit late yesterday and there was not enough time to go buy all the stuff required, but Esmeralda, the lady who helps me with food managed to do something very good

I also had a bit of solyanka just to turn things crazy around lmao, it was great

I'm sorry about pics guys, i was so hurried and trying to turn things around that i did not even picked my phone until now except for a couple minutes mid day, it just slipped my mind and i tried to make an entire offline afternoon, no online activity and just being we all together

I'm very happy right now, things turned perfect, i don't even know how to thank you all and how to express how happy i am

Oh and i got a Cuban coffee bag and it was so tasty, expensive but very very nice. Caracolillo is the brand, i had never tried one like that before, strong but so good, i think i may not be able to sleep now lol

Anyway night over and feeling very happy right now, thanks so much, i love you all very much < 3

a reply to: BoneSay

Fantastic! Congratulations!