The passing of gas to be banned by universities as misogynistic Hate Speech...

So the logic goes that anything that is offensive is "hate speech". I mean Planet SJW has had an ongoing agenda to even ban comedy. So then there's "passing gas" (aka farting), which offends just about everybody, well except for people that use sphincter sirens as their own personal daily comedy prop.

Its pretty simple really.

First, what is "speech"? Communication, sure. Some might insist "vocal". Butt isnt vocal "acoustic"? And I do believe some people can "talk" with their cornhole clappings:


Second, what is "hate speech"? Well many definitions are pretty straight forward about inciting hatred and violence against groups of people. Well I do believe most girls "never" heinie hiccup (an uncanny ability worthy of its own discussion). And essentially "all" males do. And typically they bung blast around girls to "offend" them. This is patently misogynistic. And it MUST be BANNED.

Luckily we have university speech codes to solve this endemic brown cloud problem of biblical proportions:

There were approximately 75 hate speech codes in place at U.S. colleges and universities in 1990; by 1991, the number grew to over 300. School administrators institute codes primarily to foster productive learning environments in the face of rising racially motivated and other offensive incidents on many campuses. According to a recent study, reports of campus harassment increased 400 percent between 1985 and 1990. Moreover, 80 percent of campus harassment incidents go unreported.

Hate speech codes follow several formats. Some codes, including Emory's, prohibit speech or conduct that creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive educational environment. Others ban behavior that intentionally inflicts emotional distress. Still others outlaw general harassment and threats," without clarifying what constitutes such conduct. www.scu.edu...

Many speech codes impermissibly prohibit speech on the basis of content and/or viewpoint. An example of this type of policy would be a ban on “offensive language” or “disparaging remarks.” Other speech codes are content-neutral but excessively regulate the time, place, and manner of speech. www.thefire.org...

So following the most completely not assinine "laws" ever conjured up, university speech codes, clearly we have all the metrics required to make a national scale anti-bowel blaster movement to solve this perpetual, suffocating catastrophe once and for all. I mean how backwards must a society be to allow people to go around cheek squeaking for a laugh, a laugh derived specifically for how offensive it is. Any truly civilized (and therefore Progressive) society should make their top priority the banning of people just booty bombing where ever and whom ever they please. Clearly, we've already given them Free Speech Zones for all that kind of offensive behavior.

To think California led the charge to absolutely abolish peoples ability to smoke cigarettes anywhere (even in the own cars and homes was the agenda I kept hearing news reports about). The logic flows, I mean ask any non-smoker, that here you're trying to walk into a nice restaurant, and outside in the doorway is where them disgusting smokers are out there stanking up the air with their bad habit. Why should any civilized person ever have to smell that.

Now imagine you get in an elevator. Luckily there's no nasty cigarette smoker in there lighting up, I mean there's a no smoking sign at every possible doorway in and out of the building. So you think you'll be absolutely safe from being offended by wretched smells and sounds... and whamo some repulsive comedian is in there lighting off ass flappers. It's just too bad Rob Reiner is so obese he surely sets off epic grade back-end blowouts, daily, otherwise we might hope to rally him to apply all the wonders he did for demonizing smokers, to these barbaric bull snorting bastards firing off butt bazookas every where they go.

And dont even get me started on methane's role in the Greenhouse Effect......

a reply to: IgnoranceIsntBlisss


I work in a very noisy environment and everybody uses earplugs. I just hit and run undetected.

a reply to: IgnoranceIsntBlisss

*BURRP*


Excuse me!

a reply to: IgnoranceIsntBlisss




It's for the children.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Butt children fart too.

BAN children yeah!

originally posted by: IgnoranceIsntBlisss
a reply to: DBCowboy

Butt children fart too.

BAN children yeah!

Children LEARN to fart in households that hate the environment and the global community.

Take the children away from these evil parents before it's too late!

a reply to: IgnoranceIsntBlisss

It's never going to end well when you can't stand the smell of your own, and to be truthful, I should really be in prison.

Some years ago I was in the office thinking about heading out for some lunch when I pushed out a ripe one. I swear this thing was so thick you could actually see it.

Anyway, the aroma was truly off the scale so I made for the office lift. As I was en-route the boss passed me and asked to bludge a cigarette off me. The cigarettes were on my desk. Sure, of course you can I said and kept on walking.

The elevator arrived, I got in and as the doors were closing I saw my boss get stopped in his tracks with what I can only describe as a classic WWE clothesline move. Truly, his head punctured the cloud and stopped dead, but he just didn't have the time to control his body.

Funniest damn thing I've ever seen, in fact I laughed so hard I dropped one in the elevator as well.

a reply to: IgnoranceIsntBlisss

Star for "sphincter sirens" and "corn hole clappings".

a reply to: DBCowboy

Oh wow you nailed it.

So ban backended backwards non-progressive types from having children and then teaching them to be booty belching butt heads.

Problem solved!

originally posted by: myselfaswell

Anyway, the aroma was truly off the scale so I made for the office lift. As I was en-route the boss passed me and asked to bludge a cigarette off me. The cigarettes were on my desk. Sure, of course you can I said and kept on walking.

For that alone you should have been taken to the courtyard in the nearest Googleplex (dragged there by self-righteous geeks on Segways [even if you were willing to walk there]), and stoned to death.

I wonder if I could apply for a waiver?

I cook 4 pounds of brown beans every Sunday. And that's pretty much all I eat for the entire week.

Am I to become (even more of) a pariah because of my choice of nutritive substances.

Surely the First Amendment protects my right to buck snort wherever I please!

-dex

a reply to: DexterRiley

originally posted by: Trueman
a reply to: IgnoranceIsntBlisss


I work in a very noisy environment and everybody uses earplugs. I just hit and run undetected.

So no having to get all strategic like, conjuring up "silent but deadly" ones, or as I've always called them "Silencers".

originally posted by: IgnoranceIsntBlisss
Well I do believe most girls "never" heinie hiccup

You've not spent much time around women, particularly sleeping ones, have you?

originally posted by: DBCowboy

Children LEARN to fart in households that hate the environment and the global community.

...we made a game out of it with our kids.

a reply to: IgnoranceIsntBlisss

Well I do believe most girls "never" heinie hiccup

Well, according to a phrase made popular by Richard Pryor: "Women don't fart...They poot."



-dex

originally posted by: burdman30ott6

originally posted by: DBCowboy

Children LEARN to fart in households that hate the environment and the global community.

...we made a game out of it with our kids.

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye!

originally posted by: burdman30ott6

originally posted by: IgnoranceIsntBlisss
Well I do believe most girls "never" heinie hiccup

You've not spent much time around women, particularly sleeping ones, have you?

LIES!

They dont fart.

I mean how could they they all wear those undies that have them with a wedgie all day.

originally posted by: IgnoranceIsntBlisss

originally posted by: burdman30ott6

originally posted by: IgnoranceIsntBlisss
Well I do believe most girls "never" heinie hiccup

You've not spent much time around women, particularly sleeping ones, have you?

LIES!

They dont fart.

I mean how could they they all wear those undies that have them with a wedgie all day.

Pull the finger....

originally posted by: IgnoranceIsntBlisss

originally posted by: burdman30ott6

originally posted by: IgnoranceIsntBlisss
Well I do believe most girls "never" heinie hiccup

You've not spent much time around women, particularly sleeping ones, have you?

LIES!

They dont fart.

I mean how could they they all wear those undies that have them with a wedgie all day.

Ah, I see. You're referring to the Panties Adsorption Effect (PAE.) Unfortunately this tends to be employed by younger women who are still interested in appearing feminine for their partners.

Eventually those tight panties are replaced by loose bloomers completely devoid of any PAE capability. In fact, the underwear material produces a distribution effect, allowing the "poot" to permeate the atmosphere more efficiently.

-dex