Reward system in schools

So my son started kindergarten this year. It is definitely different than when I was in school, even 10 years ago it was different.

Well they have this thing called a "treasure box," and if you don't know what it is it's a treasure box full of toys and prizes. They let the kids earn points to get a treasure at the end of the week. Now in pre-K I was ok with it but kindergarten? Why do we need to reward kids with toys for doing what they should be doing to begin with? This poses a problem for me at home. How? Well because my son loves to argue he should get something when he cleans his room, puts the trash away, brushes his teeth and so on. It drives me crazy! I refuse to give my son prizes for doing what he should do as a kid let alone a human being. You are not given prizes as an adult for doing the right thing! Why do we teach kids this???

I said something to the teacher how I don't like it and how it causes problems at home. Her reply? She said he would stand out and I shouldn't want him to stand out and not be like the others. Oh boy did I bite my tongue hard. I don't want my son to be like everyone else! So many kids today are absolute brats! I've seen it in stores and have had employees of shops compliment me for not giving in when my son throws a fit.

I know some will say this is harmless but I don't think it is. Kids should do what they are told because that's what they should do! It shouldn't be done to get a prize.

a reply to: mblahnikluver
My mother used to reward her pupils with sweets when they completed one of the "Janet and John" reading books and moved on to the next. I know, because when I was older I was sometimes deputed to go to the village shop and buy them.

But the "reward" motive should be used sparingly. Even in adult life, just giving people labels of honour can go a long way. I would have thought it would work in kindergarten. What you're describing looks like a case of "reward inflation", which increases the price of future good behaviour.

a reply to: mblahnikluver

It is called carrot and stick. The idea is that good behaviors are positively encouraged and bad behaviors incur some sort of penalty.

When children are little, below the age of, say, four years, they are very literal about right and wrong.

As they develop, they assert themselves and begin to discover that there are grey areas. They begin to push to see if they can extend their boundaries and this continues up until adulthood for most people.

Not all children mature at the same rate and so sometimes the training methods appropriate to younger children are also retained into older classes.

In a one-on-one situation such as most parents are in with their children, discipline can be more focused and one can establish boundaries more clearly.

In a class situation where children are developmentally different and also in numbers, discipline has to retain a very tight ship and caregivers/teachers tend to use repetition and techniques requiring less finesse than parents can use.

I'd say that having a reward system in class should not have to negatively affect discipline at home as long as you make it clear what is expected from the child in each circumstance.

You will find that clearly defined boundaries of acceptable and unacceptable behavior in general make for happier and less rebellious children while they develop.

Don't assume that a child will correctly intuit what is good behavior. Maturity will bring that level of discernment.

When they are little, clear and spoken definitions, with a balance of reward for achievement and good behavior, and negative consequences for bad behavior, will assist them in discerning what is appropriate.

Having clearly defined reward places (a ''special' toy box) and discipline places (a naughty corner) is a proven system, especially for younger children.

a reply to: mblahnikluver

Tell your kid no and stick to your words.
I didn't give a toss whatever punishment/encouragement regime was going on in school,my rules applied at home.
If you are struggling to compete with the regime at the school it says more about your own weaknesses as a parent in my opinion.
I know you won't like hearing that but if you were a mate of mine I'd say exactly the same.

a reply to: mblahnikluver

Yeah....hate that kind of stuff.

My kids (9, 10, 12) get "smilies" in school (which are basically stickers) whenever they do something outstanding like pay attention in class....I'm not too bothered with this and it doesn't seem like they want similar rewards for doing things at home.

A couple of months ago I had a meeting at the school of my 15 year old son and the principle told me that he encourages my son for arriving on time by rewarding him with mini-mars and snickers.

I told him in my own unique way that I do not believe in rewarding kids this way and that I try to teach them that achieving something is already a reward in and of itself...

He just stared and listened....so I gave him a mini-mars for paying such good attention.

Peace

Being goal oriented isn't a bad thing. But having gone through the system with my kid I see the schools using whatever they can to create little autobots. It's not goal achievement with them. It's behavioral modification. That's MY job.

My girlfriend has worked in schools for the last several years. She has gone from implementing pre-K into the school system and has worked at all levels of schooling up to high school. She has told me about some schools starting "positive reinforcement" policies. Basically, they reward the kids when they display good behavior to help reinforce that acting in a civil manner deserves a prize. Treating children, including through high school, as if they were an animal being trained to sit or stay is appalling in of itself but when she told me that teachers are to ignore bad behavior altogether, my mind was blown! That's right, no consequences for negative behavior. Teachers are supposed to continue with their lessons and ignore what's going on, whether it be an outburst or tantrum or possibly even physical altercation. This policy does vary from school to school and has been left up to the principal of each school as to where to draw the line but some principals have yet to draw ANY line on when an adult is supposed to stop ignoring the negative and disruptive behavior and begin disciplining. I've even heard a couple of stories (told by her from someone else, so 4th hand
account or something) of students being sent to the office, the principal not seeing any problem with the behavior, sending the student back to class and then chastising the teacher afterwards. Teach kids to act like animals and they will behave like animals.

I think this is the nature versus nurture argument

my opinion is that kids need strong discipline with an effectively balanced reward system that's EARNED through hard work and discipline

this is how I teach my kids boxing classes and works very well

a reply to: toysforadults

I don't think so. The schools want obedient little doo bees. The problem with that is that it's THEIR idea of what good little doo bees are.

a reply to: intrepid

you have to maintain order I think it's the how, why that really matter

The name of the game is slavery..............be a good slave so you are no trouble for the masters.
Rewarding with 'things' is slavery to materialism and consumerism.

I'm not against a reward system for younger children. They tend to do what their friends are doing and when there is a bunch of little kids all together, I imagine it is quite difficult to get them all under control.

But I do agree with you. Are they even rewards if you're constantly getting them?

What incentive does a child have to go above their expectations if they get a reward for doing the bare minimum?

Whenever I said I wanted something my parents just told me that people in hell want ice water, but they don't get it.

originally posted by: toysforadults
a reply to: intrepid

you have to maintain order I think it's the how, why that really matter

uh huh...



Reward/punishment should not be the purview of the schools. The problem is that too many parents have surrendered this to them. You have to take an active interest in your kids education.

a reply to: Fehrie

I don't think it's difficult to get them together at all

when I teach kids boxing classes I RARELY ever have a kid acting out and when they do they straighten out almost immediately. you have to be authoritative and command respect and dish out discipline hard and fast and in the right way

also one of the things that really works is you really gotta break things down in real terms to them and speak to them like adults

for instance, "hey guys look, if you act this way this how I'm going to punish you"

then punish them

"did you like that???"

no ok this is how this class is going to run weather you like it or not and then after that you can really get them into the material by being enthusiastic and excited about what your teaching. they can really feel the energy you put off. if you're not into it they know it and react accordingly

originally posted by: intrepid

originally posted by: toysforadults
a reply to: intrepid

you have to maintain order I think it's the how, why that really matter

uh huh...

Reward/punishment should not be the purview of the schools. The problem is that too many parents have surrendered this to them. You have to take an active interest in your kids education.

Scary that so many authoritarians frequent these boards, almost as is it's subversion...

Shoot back in 1980 they used a Mystery Box, but it full of Broken Glass and Scorpions...

a reply to: mblahnikluver

It is problematic, especially when the reward is a toy. My own grade school memories was of course the gold star stickers on the cardboard sign with all the other kid’s stars on it. A constant visual reminders for the whole class as to who was making quota and who was falling behind in expectations. Sound familiar? They do the same thing in sales only with actual numbers instead of stars. The morning bullpen meetings show the updates and the winner usually gets a bonus or trip or something depending on the motivation program/timeframe used.

Same principle with the toy box/treasure chest, which my childhood dentist had, which was pretty much rubber balls, yo-yos and spider rings that you would find in a quarter vending machine.

With this teacher it seems the shame factor is that you do not get to play with a new toy like the other kids versus not having any chance in hell to catch up with the goody two shoes runaway star totals that complied right off the bat, thus reenforcing the “poor student” theme very early in the child’s mind that would last throughout their schooling.

In the end, the whole idea is compliance by individual competition rather than cooperative team building to reach a goal.

Old Ahab thought about being a teacher at one time, but found he didn’t like the schooling system that was used. And really hates the slight modifications that have come down the pike over the years.

Who the hell do you think you are??? Where did I say I give in or even remotely let him do what he wants? I didn't. I said I don't agree with rewarding behavior a child should just do! I think it's stupid and just shows kids they will get something if they're good. You're not rewarded in life so why should kids be coddled nowadays?!

My son knows the rules at home. He can try all he wants to get prizes at home it won't fly!

I hate the American eduction system. It sucks.

originally posted by: watchitburn
Whenever I said I wanted something my parents just told me that people in hell want ice water, but they don't get it.

Are you my long lost brother ?