Why do people lie?

Seriously..I would really love to know why people lie and how they can feel no regard for the one they are lying to? How can someone live with theirself and just brush off the fact that they lie ALL the time..And how can they look you in the eyes and lie? Would this be considered a pathological liar? I mean I lie, don't get me wrong, but not ALL the time that people no longer believe a word I say..

So please tell me, what gives? How do you feel after you've lied to someone and how do you feel after someone lies to you?
Magestica

Because we live in a world where nobody wants to take responsablity for themselves.And are afraid to face failure or shortcomings.It is easier to lie,save face and pass the buck to someone else.
It has become acceptable to lie these days. It starts with our leaders and works its way down.

I'm an awful liar...so I try not to.... I think for some, it's just in their nature... I've known a few people like that, you just can never take anything they say too seriously... I don't understand it...but I do just accept it, and trudge along....

My theory is that people lie to avoid experiencing a particular feeling and/or thought. Avoidance is the key, in my opinion. The only problem is that avoidance usually makes things worse.

Some people just cant help lying all the time. They get to the stage where they actually believe what they are saying... in a way.

Some people Lie because they cant stand reality or confrontation. I guess it's easier to lie and avoid subjects than it is to be truthful and face up to them

People lie to get out of trouble and to make other ppls life a misery i guess.

I believe it is a survival instinct. For example animals in the wild lie about what they are (ie. walking stick, eyes on butterflies, etc.). This gives them the advantage of hunting the prey or to avoid being prey, because in a way they lie about what they are. I believe this trait was passed to us and we have adapted it. Think about it, why do people lie: A. to avoid trouble, B. to make themselves look better than they are, C. other reasons.
Now let's look at these reasons and see what, if anything they have in common. They are all used as a survival trait. Lie to avoid trouble is obvious, but you may ask what does making oneself look better have to do with survival. Well for the most part it is usual for a sexual reason, or to improve stature. The easier it is for someone to be with you the better chance you have of reproducing, also a survival instinct. Well there you have my basis for the reason we lie. Hope it helps.

I am not sure what the true definition of a pathological liar is but I am pretty sure it is one who lies for any reason and every reason they can find. I was best friends with a liar of this sort. Which is funny because I claim to hate liars. Liars really get on my nerves. When I was really close to a liar I often scolded him for his ways. My friend, Ben would lie just for the hell of it. He seemed to lie for entertainment. Not just for himself but for others too. What he couldn't see was that to me, his lying wasn't entertaining at all. In fact it was menacing and obtrusive to our relationship. I guess that liars of that sort are not very serious people. Cause I was always the exact opposite and took all things seriously. As you may know I am quite naive in that sense because of it. Gullible in that sense too.

So I would have to say that lying is much more complex than one would imagine. It is all within the mental mechanisms of the liar and how those complextions relate to their outer world. Maybe it is a world they fear. Maybe liars try to create their own worlds. "There is no fate but what we make" could be their motto.

I think that the studies done on liars would be quite interesting to read up on. I would imagine that these studies range in their conclusions on what a true liar intends to do. I would also imagine that there are many different kinds of liars, for many different kinds of reasons. I am sure that as a collective we could gather quite a few of these reasons. Any ideas anyone????

I think people lie to avoid trouble and to save face. I also think that there are times when you HAVE to lie in order not to hurt those who love you. None of us are perfect but in the eyes of those who love us ...we are. When you lose those people's trust/respect....you lose EVERYTHING. So.....sometimes it is better to lie then to risk that.

Hmmm...I'd love to know what prompted this question there Mags...

Think most of us, at some point or another lie...so I guess we already have some understanding as to why other do it - for we do it ourselves.

I try not to lie in life...as I've kinda found that truth, although painful at times, usual creates the best outcome in the end. Have I lied before? OH HELL YEAH...who hasn't...why have I lied before in my life? Many reasons: Not wanting to hurt someone, not wanting to get hurt, not feeling adequate enough, insecurity...plain humorous mischief now and then too...

How have I felt after telling a lie? Cold...empty...sinking...even when its saved me from harm, it still doesn't sit right ya know.

How have I felt after I've discovered someone else has lied to me? Depends...if I see reason for their lie, then I can be understanding of it...it also depends on the lie as well and how hurtful it is...but I certainly don't like getting lied to.



Peace,
ALIEN

No one wants to reap the repercutions and consequences of telling the truth.

Thats why there is no better truth than a lie.

Some other time I will post more about this, but the best account of 'lying' including a very good extended definition of 'lying' comes from Ouspensky's 'The Fourth Way', based on Gurdjieff's teachings.

"Lying is thinking or speaking about things that one does not know; that is the beginning of lying. It does not mean intentional lying - telling stories, as for instance that there is a bear in the other room. You can go to the other room and see that there is no bear in it. But if you collect all the theories that people put forward on any given subject, without knowing anything about it, you will see where lying begins. Man does not know himself, he does not know anything, yet he has theories about everything. Most of these theories are lying."

That one covers of the Bush administration WMD lie as a big bear in the other room. That was an intentional lie.

But I like the way this definition encompasses our tendency to bullsh*t.

All we can do is try to tell the truth.

There are noble lies - I lied to not hurt the one I love.

But this is contradiction; I would tell the one I love the truth and then offer comfort.

Speaking from experience and self-observation, these lies are like all other lies - they are Untruth and in the end more hurtful than the truth could ever be.

I say I want to protect the ones I love but this is self-deception.
I am actually protecting myself. An irrational fear that by telling the truth I would be responisble for hurting them. It is a form of running from responsbility.

And thankfully, I feel more guilty after lying.

Majestica,

This is actually a VERY good, and DEEP thread!

I don't know!

First of all I don't know why any of us lie...and right now I'm talking about the "little white lies" or even the "technical bull$h|t" stuff. Because we're human I guess, but why is it so easy!!! Good qestion!

But then we seque to the all-out-I'd-rather-lie-than-tell-the-truth-when-the-truth-would-do-me-better person:

whoo! boy is this a back-breaker!

I'm going to quote Sarah McLachlan in one of my favorite songs, "Angel"

"...you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack..."

I'm serious, this is close as a good a reason as I can come up with! Maybe this really is the reason!

Why else would you give yourself over to falsehoods, unless you had convinced yourself that there was a "better place" for you if you did?!?!?

That's my thoughts!

In brief, people lie because they can't handle the truth!

And by lying it will alter the outcome of an event for their own interest!

My ex girlfriend lies to me which she calls it "the White lie"!
But I'm like Hey!...a lie is a lie , no matter what!!

[Edited on 4-7-2003 by damefool]

NO...they THINK it will alter the outcome of the event. It is the ULTIMATE

BET!

Because a lie does NOT alter reality, it just hangs out ther waiting to see if reality bites it in the butt.

[Edited on 4-7-2003 by Valhall]

Originally posted by Valhall
NO...they THINK it will alter the outcome of the event. It is the ULTIMATE

BET!

Because a lie does NOT alter reality, it just hangs out ther waiting to see if reality bites it in the butt.

[Edited on 4-7-2003 by Valhall]

True coz in the end people will know somwhow!

ppl lie because in all simplicity, they are afraid of what the truth will bring out-and if its a lie to improve their stature...i suppose its only to make themselves look as if they are something big cuz they dont liek themselves