The crisis no one talks about

I'm going to start by saying...I'm not normally a fan of global news and the things they write...but I thought i'd post this because...it's something that gets debated here and I have to listen to people babble about this stuff kind of regularly without really getting to voice an opinion on it.

globalnews.ca...

At some point – soon I am hoping – feminists are going to realize they have solved all the problems they set out to solve for girls and we can turn our attention to real problem now facing society: the boy crisis.

It really is apparent that it is a first world problem: Farrell says that in 70 developed nations, boys have fallen behind girls in tests of knowledge.

We have a generation of boys being raised that will have less education than their fathers. We have boys disproportionately diagnosed with ADHD, living in their parents’ basements with no purpose, addicted to video games, addicted to pornography, addicted to drugs, and in the extreme committing suicide and homicide.

these conditions are linked by one factor common to all developed nations: The breakdown of the family through divorce. We are now learning that the loss of dad in a boy’s life has a profound impact on his social development. The way Farrell describes it, moms are hard-wired to protect their children from harm and are more likely to relax boundaries. Dad’s roughhousing may irritate mom – “someone’s going to get hurt!” – but it is a vital way to teach children about risk and to test their own limits at an early age. Whereas mom might be willing to give their son ice cream even if he doesn’t finish his peas, dad will tell his son he has to live up to the deal to clean his plate before getting dessert. It may seem like a small matter, but this daily setting of expectations and interactions makes all the difference.

In the case of a bad marriage breakup, where the boy continuously hears his mom constantly criticizing his dad, he can also develop self-loathing which can manifest in self-harm and harming others.

Personally, my parents got divorced when me and my sister were young...they were reasonable about it...our parents never bad mouthed each other to us or in front of us, our mom and dad tended to agree and compromise on as much as they could so we got to see both of them as much as we could there was still a strong influence from both of them on our lives. Honestly though I could see how if it had been different we may not have turned out to be at least reasonably decent people. I've seen a lot of men over the years who have little ambition or drive in life, can't handle basic social interaction, who become possessive and controlling in the few relationships they manage to have. It's definitely a fairly common thing to see some random guy raging out on the street, or living with his mom at 30 years old with a history of part time work and unemployment. Personally I really don't know what the reason is. In my years of working with different people at different kinds of work, there is one thing i've noticed, most women, if it's some kind of physical or intellectual work tend to not have asuch of an ego about things and dont seem to assume they should have whatever they want while doing nothing. A lot of men don't seem to understand the value.of hard work in anything these days...a lot of women also...but I suppose it's harder to just slide by in life without doing things as a man...

Now as to the point on feminists....I'm probably going to come across as an asshole here...but...i've got some fairly vocal agressive friends who like to go on about how oppressed and terrible their lives for and how good they feel about going to feminist rallies and such. Personally, over the years, i've met lots and lots of different people from lots of different placed and walks of life. People are all different i've met women who are for more capable 'men' than many men i've met and met men who are far more capable 'women' than lots of women i've met. Don't get me wrong, i've seen harassment based on gender, i've also experienced it, # happens. But honestly, if you're a woman living in a western country. You're probably doing alright.
If feminists really wanted to make a difference they would travel to places like Indonesia, Pakistan, Malaysia, the Philippines or any other of the numerous countries where women really do live hopeless bleak existences where their futures really are baby making slaves for some men..and show these women they don't have to live like that.

These are just my random thoughts on this as I read through the article.

a reply to: dug88

No arguments from me..


It astonishes me that some people still have a hard time seeing the need for a dad in a kids life, but we continue to encourage the system to write the dad out of their kids lives.

a reply to: dug88

As wife, woman, mother of a son, I do tend to agree. The family is suffering, and both our boys and girls suffer for it. It's just that girls self-destruct less spectacularly than boys do.

I also think that our education system has gone a long way toward repairing the disadvantages that girls were at ... and then continued. Now our boys are suffering disadvantages of a system that really is more tailored toward a girl's maturation than a boy's. Like it or not, boys and girls are different, act differently, and mature differently, and thus, have differing needs when it comes to how they are raised and educated.

Neither is superior to the other. They are meant to be complements to one another, to make each other stronger when working together. But each needs to be nurtured differently to grow to best potential.

a reply to: dug88

Boys are being raised today with the idea that they are the problems with the world.
White boys that is.
Is it any wonder they are soft overly emotional pussys?

Shame on everyone for letting it get to this level, I never had kids but still there has to be a standard.

A lot of opinions, there.

I will say that divorce CAN be negative for all involved but you leave out one very important issue-physical, emotional, and mental abuse that makes many women flee-many times to protect their children. (It happens to men also but to a much lesser extent.)

That's the real issue still not being talked about to the point of change in male behavior.

A boy without an involved father is just as sad as a daughter without a father-same as the loss of a mother (which occurs much less.]

Divorce continues to increase as support for women increases. It's most sad when the father, once he loses control, decides to walk away from his children.

a reply to: ketsuko

Neither is superior to the other. They are meant to be complements to one another, to make each other stronger when working together. But each needs to be nurtured differently to grow to best potential.

That was beautifully perfect! And needs to be repeated.

a reply to: Justso

*shrugs*

On the flip side you have guys that get accused of some heinous stuff just so the wife can get custody and a fat check from him every month, then because of the accusations the father loses all rights to see their children.

Some become so distraught over not being able to be in their children's lives they commit suicide, but rarely is that ever talked about.

The problem IMO is the 2 parents working generation, the kids are very often left by them selfs an can do whatever they want, ad internet an social networking,et voila, disaster waiting to happen.....

There was a case in Australia a number of years back where a father climbed the harbour bridge in Sydney then called a radio station to vent his frustrations, he was unable to see his kids, he was worried the kids were in danger and the system basically snubbed him which is not unusual.

The authorities answer to that was to slap restrictions on radio stations being involved in such events.

It was all part of a plot to get women out of the house as a home maker and to get both parents working.

Burn your bras! Be free! Now go work 40-50 hours a week, while we train your kids in school

a reply to: ketsuko

Good points. I think the objective is to reduce the total males being produced as opposed to females. A less aggressive more compliant society. Easier to herd and corral. The mother with children will have less opportunity to put up resistence when the State threatens her with the loss of her offspring

a reply to: Irishhaf

It happens-no denying-but you are talking the minority. The "men's movement" has made this a cause celebre.

Seen too much reality present day to buy into "poor father's rights being taken away."

Sure the male-oriented ATSers won't find this popular.

So people are finally acknowledging that broken homes can have detrimental effects on the children in those households? Took long enough.

Though I disagree on the anti-feminist angle.

a reply to: Justso


Right... its only a few lowly males being abused and screwed by the system who cares...

You know I saw exactly 1 guy in my life so far that didn't get hosed when he got divorced, he walked into the court room said she can have everything except my dog and my uniforms, since they didn't have kids judge told her to take it and leave she wasn't getting anything else.

But hey.. your anecdotal evidence must be more truthful than mine huh..

We have a generation of boys being raised that will have less education than their fathers.

It is said that women got around 45% of PhD but in STEM areas male dominates the numbers and there are mostly not females, so research groups offer female only grants for equality purposes.

The research group were I was doing my PhD had around 30 PhD candidates and postdocs of which at the time of my stay around 6 were male, last month I saw they were making a new female only grant to add 2 new positions a year, paying 3 times what I got paid.

It is hard to understand the concept of equality when they discriminate based on gender on a place that already had a majority of the said gender, I think only merit should apply when filling one of these positions, everyone should be measured equal and not based on the genitals you were born, but what do I know.

a reply to: enlightenedservant

Can't be signaling too many of the wrong virtues now, can we?

a reply to: NthOther

??? What do you mean?

a reply to: Justso
Its not a matter of findng it inconvenient.
A mere accusation is sufficient to remove the male from the family house. Then the female is free to embellish her side of the story, the rest is upto a 'sympathetic' judge

a reply to: dug88

I have to agree with those who think it's more about both parents working outside the home and leaving kids to grow up fending for themselves. Social skills like respect and courtesy and loyalty are taught by social media -- and we all know how well that works! Divorce only compounds that existing problem.

I would also add that our schools have pretty much completely eliminated any and all life skills and marketable skills training. We're filling our kids' heads with lots of stuff that is basically useless in creating a productive and fulfilling life.