Altered Sayings

Hey ATS, hope this finds you all healthy and happy.

Do you have any favorite altered sayings?

Here are a couple of mine, to get you started:

-- 'A picture is worth only a thousand words.'

-- 'Fool me once: shame on you. Fool me twice: well you're a lying scamming POS SOB aren't ya?'

I think, therefore you exist..

originally posted by: Plotus
I think, therefore you exist..

Good one! Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Much deeper than:
'I drink, therefore I pee'...

A possible country song title,


"She don't love me like I love me no more"

If cows could fly they wouldn't eat grass.

-me

a reply to: Nothin

I dunno.
I guess Im blessed I live in relative isolation currently. So many things in life can go wrong.

I'm sorry for your situation.

a reply to: muzzleflash

Don't really get it, but thanks for your kindness.

a reply to: Nothin

It was an altered saying, and you're welcome.

a reply to: muzzleflash

You're implying that your saying, was an altered saying of yore?

Have you realized that there are people dying today, that have never died before?

Especially since they built that new cemetary up on the hill. It seems people are dying to get into there...

It seems so far away, but once you get there, it ain't far...

Fine words, butter no parsnips.

I see nothing!!! Said the blind man, whose cousin played a German soldier on Hogan's Heros.

-I'm no expert, but I know what f**ked up looks like.

-I'd never claim to be the brightest spoon in the shed, but I like to think I'm smarter than the average bear.

-Kick names and take ass.

-Let's get all our eggs in a row.

-Don't put all your ducks in one basket.

Be good, Or be quick

a reply to: watchitburn

Excellent!

Hard to mess-up a good saying, but you know man, like, it's not rocket surgery.

A Ricky-ism from The Trailer Park Boys and my fav saying, so much so I now say it instead of the correct one.

It's not rocket appliances is it?

Oh and,

It is against my vice principals

originally posted by: Plotus
Be good, Or be quick

He's got a mind like quicksand!

Said Quagmire... (Giggity). 'The fog was as thick as sea-poop'.

a reply to: watchitburn

Love your brightest spoon in one, that really made me laugh!

a reply to: CthulhuMythos

Oh! Thanks for bringing Ricky-ism's into this thread! Very pertinent.
Will go and see some of those vids again, soon.

Ain't that the drop that killed the camel's back?

We're starting to be able to see, the train at the end of the tunnel. (Perronisme).

I'm pink

Therefore I am Spam...

originally posted by: watchitburn
If cows could fly they wouldn't eat grass.

-me

And they would poo on you!

a reply to: Lagomorphe

Yup, gotta watch out for the falling cowpies!

a reply to: Lagomorphe

Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day.

Teach a man to fish, and then he needs to buy rods and reels, lines, lures and flies, a boat, motor, trailor, and a truck to haul it all.