Why Masons stole then shaved my llama

I've had it with the talk of guns and death.

It was a bad day at work where I spend all day making wigs for Gingers so they can sneak into society and steal souls.

And to top it off, I just found out that Masons are responsible for every crime in America and in Europe, which would have been America too but we lost the war of 1978, when disco died.

So it's been a bad day.

Not as bad as when I was holding that jar of turpentine in the Louvre and tripped.

But that's beside the point.

Skateboards were invented by Masons so they could try and look cool but failed because their fez's kept falling off.

And elbow macaroni is a lie because my elbows look nothing like pasta.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
I've had it with the talk of guns and death.

It was a bad day at work where I spend all day making wigs for Gingers so they can sneak into society and steal souls.

And to top it off, I just found out that Masons are responsible for every crime in America and in Europe, which would have been America too but we lost the war of 1978, when disco died.

So it's been a bad day.

Not as bad as when I was holding that jar of turpentine in the Louvre and tripped.

But that's beside the point.

Skateboards were invented by Masons so they could try and look cool but failed because their fez's kept falling off.

And elbow macaroni is a lie because my elbows look nothing like pasta.

Classic bait and switch. What happened to the damn llama?

a reply to: DBCowboy

Hi there DB, hope your day ends well and tomorrow is much better.

I get a sense you're holding back on us. Probably because of your high ranking Mason friends who won you the grill and etc etc.

Was that poor llama also violated in strange ways?...

Hope it grows the hair back and the trauma fades!

originally posted by: Woodcarver

originally posted by: DBCowboy
I've had it with the talk of guns and death.

It was a bad day at work where I spend all day making wigs for Gingers so they can sneak into society and steal souls.

And to top it off, I just found out that Masons are responsible for every crime in America and in Europe, which would have been America too but we lost the war of 1978, when disco died.

So it's been a bad day.

Not as bad as when I was holding that jar of turpentine in the Louvre and tripped.

But that's beside the point.

Skateboards were invented by Masons so they could try and look cool but failed because their fez's kept falling off.

And elbow macaroni is a lie because my elbows look nothing like pasta.

Classic bait and switch. What happened to the damn llama?

My llama named Jeffery was finally returned to me. Shaved and traumatized.

Like I was when I was abducted by co-eds in Oslo in 84.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Don't you mean one Mason in particular? Also, I think "elbow" macaroni isn't named for the shape. It's what they put into the macaroni. Elbows. I think it's a Mason thing. Ask the one in the cool hat.

a reply to: DBCowboy

youre lucky they just shaved it.

a reply to: DBCowboy
WTH lmao....WHY do that to such a awesome animal? You never fail with making me chuckle DB.

originally posted by: Skid Mark
a reply to: DBCowboy

Don't you mean one Mason in particular? Also, I think "elbow" macaroni isn't named for the shape. It's what they put into the macaroni. Elbows. I think it's a Mason thing. Ask the one in the cool hat.

I'm not going to mention any names except one.

Denzel Washington.

That's all I'm going to say.

a reply to: DBCowboy

I was promised a shaved llama......

And as a ginger I’m deeply offended by your comments, and curious where I could get one of your wigs, soul stealing is so darn hard these days.

a reply to: DBCowboy

wheers the fleece ? - i want some llama wool

originally posted by: DBCowboy
I've had it with the talk of guns and death.

It was a bad day at work where I spend all day making wigs for Gingers so they can sneak into society and steal souls.

And to top it off, I just found out that Masons are responsible for every crime in America and in Europe, which would have been America too but we lost the war of 1978, when disco died.

So it's been a bad day.

Not as bad as when I was holding that jar of turpentine in the Louvre and tripped.

But that's beside the point.

Skateboards were invented by Masons so they could try and look cool but failed because their fez's kept falling off.

And elbow macaroni is a lie because my elbows look nothing like pasta.

Yeah, but I bet you're not going to return your llama hair smoking jacket, are you? So luxurious.

The whole point is, the Masons stole the llama fleece.

They use it in their rituals where "it puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."

a reply to: DBCowboy

Sorry DB, but Masons don't wear fezs. Only Shriners wear fezs. If you are caught illegally wearing a fez, you will be abducted and shaved... everywhere.

originally posted by: NightFlight
a reply to: DBCowboy

Sorry DB, but Masons don't wear fezs. Only Shriners wear fezs. If you are caught illegally wearing a fez, you will be abducted and shaved... everywhere.

Shriners, Masons, is there a difference?

pfft!

( )

originally posted by: DBCowboy

originally posted by: Skid Mark
a reply to: DBCowboy

Don't you mean one Mason in particular? Also, I think "elbow" macaroni isn't named for the shape. It's what they put into the macaroni. Elbows. I think it's a Mason thing. Ask the one in the cool hat.

I'm not going to mention any names except one.

Denzel Washington.

That's all I'm going to say.

Now read that in Morgan Freeman's voice. Everyone.

My uncle is a mason. I asked him once what they did. He just stared at me with a sinister look. I was 12.

I had no idea they just stood around staring intently at each other

a reply to: badw0lf


Did they. . . . . did they. . . take your llama too?

originally posted by: Quantumgamer1776
a reply to: DBCowboy

I was promised a shaved llama......

And as a ginger I’m deeply offended by your comments, and curious where I could get one of your wigs, soul stealing is so darn hard these days.

Public transport is great for stealing the souls of non-gingers. Just stand close to them, and absorb it.

That's how I do it, anyway.. with my freckles, long auburn hair and ginger goatee. well, grey goatee now, but still. you can sense the ginger. Could be curry, but I don't notice.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: badw0lf


Did they. . . . . did they. . . take your llama too?

I could never afford a llama. I had to stick 9 cats to the dog and there were too many tails, so it was a dead give away

But I'm sure I would have noticed this scoundrel lurking about, with devious llama stealing intent. You can see it in his eyes.

Kelly Capwell was a bit nicer though.

a reply to: badw0lf


You know what else is a dead give away?

Zombie coupons.