Aziz Ansari responds to sexual assault allegation: 'I was surprised and concerned'

Hmmmm. Not so sure of where think about this but I am personally staying away from any woman who leans left at all. I just can't risk it.

CNN

"In September of last year, I met a woman at a party. We exchanged numbers. We texted back and forth and eventually went on a date. We went out to dinner, and afterwards we ended up engaging in sexual activity, which by all indications was completely consensual," Ansari wrote in a statement obtained by CNN on Sunday.
"The next day, I got a text from her saying that although 'it may have seemed okay,' upon further reflection, she felt uncomfortable. It was true that everything did seem okay to me, so when I heard that it was not the case for her, I was surprised and concerned," Ansari's statement continued. "I took her words to heart and responded privately after taking the time to process what she had said."

First off, I would really like to hear what the women of ATS think about this. I know that as a man often times ques are misunderstood from women. I've said it before but something that's very confusing is that some women WANT you to make advances on them even when they "pretend" to not be interested. It's a highly confusing game. I also never try to force or trick someone into doing anything, I personally will say multiple times, "I don't want you doing something you don't want to do".

Also, "I felt pressured" isn't the same as, "I had no choice" to me. If you felt pressured and didn't put your foot down then who's really at fault?

On one hand I can see where some women are coming from and on the other I get why there is tons of confusion on a mans part. Over all this isn't going in a good direction. If you change your mind afterwords that's your fault. I think we need to stop victimizing everyone unless they are truly victims.

a reply to: toysforadults

If you really wanted to hear from women, as opposed to women who will reinforce your attitude to this, you would not have included the phrase:

I am personally staying away from any woman who leans left at all. I just can't risk it.

...which is not only a rather bigoted position to take, since it relies upon you acting on an assumption you have made about a group of people, based not on the behaviour of the whole, but on the perceived behaviour of a few, behaviour you were not witness to in the slightest, and only have a second hand account of at best.

It indicates strongly that the last persons you want to even hear from, are those who might be described as left leaning and female. That is not only a pretty shoddy way to formulate life choices for yourself, but also an unacceptable environment to create, when debate and discussion is supposed to be on the cards. Talk about mixed signals!

"I want to talk about this, but I do not want to have a meaningful discussion about it"?

Really?

Sounds to me like someone wants on the gravy train.

Felt pressured? Didn't go to the police?

This was a non-happening.

a reply to: toysforadults

Lol, you think gold diggers are all liberal?

That's a joke.

I just thank God I am old and have been with my wife 30 years.

If anything ever happened to her before myself I would remain single, happily reminiscing in our life together.

I feel sorry for young people having to navigate the current social climate.

If I was young I would require a signed contract of consent before any physical contact.

I can see how the MGTOW movement has become a thing.

www.nytimes.com...

I'm not sure about anyone else, but, this seems to be a clear case of the lady in question not asserting herself.

“Last night might’ve been fun for you, but it wasn’t for me,” she responded. “You ignored clear nonverbal cues; you kept going with advances. You had to have noticed I was uncomfortable.” He replied with an apology.

Read Grace’s text message again.

Put in other words: I am angry that you weren’t able to read my mind.

He clearly, "ignored clear nonverbal cues".

IMHO. If someone is doing something you don't like. Tell them in a clear loud voice, "STOP!". If they continue on then that person is clearly to blame for sexual harassment.

But non verbal queues? That's not being clear.

Her side of the story

Sounds like she just wants her 5 minutes of fame based on that story. If she wanted out of there and was uncomfortable, she could've left or made him make a decision to violate her rights to leave. I hope he uses his own power to drag her name through the mud, since she doesn't seem to care about doing it to him. Women like this make me sick and should put behind bars in my opinion.

a reply to: TrueBrit

Your so virtuous. You are a good person.

a reply to: toysforadults

Thaaaats great, but not what I was after by posting what I did.

What I am after is an improvement of your understanding of the matters, which is basically flawed from the get go. The event in question is not even the issue here, the issue that needs work here is your approach to it.

a reply to: grey580

Its hard for me to tell because I am an athletically built 240lb male. So I don't remenber whats it like to be in a similar position.

What should the conversation around this topic be?

a reply to: TrueBrit

Ok dad.

Care to offer me anymore life advice?

a reply to: toysforadults
She probably was simply disappointed with his performance and tried to find a way to save face. Women, if they don't enjoy the experience they will try to set you up. If they enjoy it, they will beg you like a dog at a dinner table for more, even when your not single!

Stay away from alcohol ladies born after 1996, you don't know how to handle it.

originally posted by: toysforadults

Also, "I felt pressured" isn't the same as, "I had no choice" to me. If you felt pressured and didn't put your foot down then who's really at fault?.

The person applying the pressure is still at fault.

a reply to: worldstarcountry

How did we as a society totally lose our ability to interact with each other?

Man. Nervous about the future

I read old love letters from the early 1900's and I am dumbfounded by the way people used to interact.

originally posted by: TrueBrit
a reply to: toysforadults

Thaaaats great, but not what I was after by posting what I did.

What I am after is an improvement of your understanding of the matters, which is basically flawed from the get go. The event in question is not even the issue here, the issue that needs work here is your approach to it.

im keen to know how you deciphered this case. what are your thoughts. if the op missed the point, care to edify.
to me this case and 'movement' in general is following the same paradigms the 'BLM' saga followed. at first innocently motivated by concerned souls, but then hijacked by people with ulterior motives and crazies in general.
is this movement losing credibility fast, with allegations of women in Hollywood who knew of abusive behaviors and as we see here in case of Aziz, a grudge or vengeful emotion waiting for the opportune moment.

Guys, just play hard to get. Then actually be hard to get.

originally posted by: luthier
a reply to: toysforadults

Lol, you think gold diggers are all liberal?

That's a joke.

Gold digging???

a reply to: toysforadults

At last, she uttered the word “no” for the first time during their encounter, to Mr. Ansari’s suggestion that they have sex in front of a mirror. He said: “‘How about we just chill, but this time with our clothes on?’”

“You ignored clear nonverbal cues; you kept going with advances. You had to have noticed I was uncomfortable.”

www.nytimes.com...

He stopped as soon as she said no. Anything else is her craziness. Why get naked and make out with him then act like him trying to have sex with you is unusual? As the article I linked states, she is angry that he couldn't read her mind. This woman is crazy.

originally posted by: eNumbra

originally posted by: toysforadults

Also, "I felt pressured" isn't the same as, "I had no choice" to me. If you felt pressured and didn't put your foot down then who's really at fault?.

The person applying the pressure is still at fault.

Hmmm. I guess, presence alone can make people feel pressured

Thats to slippery of slope for me.

I believe in ownership so if O feel pressured I feel it is my duty to alleviate thsy pressure.

But again I am a 240 lb male.

Sounds like she sexually assaulted him.
Sex got him more than he bargained for.