Do you just jot down your thoughts in any willy nilly way you like?
You don't seem to get that the world Elohim can be understood in a much more profound and encompassing way as NATURE.
Elohim is Nature, and hence, it has the same numerical value as 'ark' - as in the ark Noah made, as well as "HaTeVa" -
"the word", or more generally, nature.
The name also derives from El, "powers", and since nature is an expression of all sorts of different and multivarious powers, the most simply and
elegant interpretation of the name would be "the powers of nature".
Also, you're right (although I don't know you could have known this!): Judaism is a religion. The experience od God or divinity as told from the
perspective of a suffering and mistreated people.
The Torah is remarkable in the book of Genesis - as a metaphysical allegory of reality; but from Exodus onwards you get more into the realm of
theology, and with the writings and prophets, you get the philosophical (or metaphysical) history.
It's a profound work, but the problem is the allegory: we need to outgrow this mode of seeking to explain things, otherwise, people begin to think
there is no substance to it: allegory is in my opninion a method of deceiving the masses.
That said, the Torah was redacted by the ancient Hebrews, not what later became known as the "Rabbis". The Rabbi's may be genetically contiguous with
the Hebrews, but the educational scaffolding required to reconstruct the allegory meaning slowly ebbed away following the traumatic ordeals of the
Roman sacking of Palestine. There is much ridiculous nonsense in the Talmud, Midrashes and other Rabbinic texts just like you can find ridiculous
beliefs in other traumatic-human contexts. It's the trauma that creates the excessive world-weariness and chronic critiquing of the other. In a
certain sense, the world needed to change and the human being needed to expand their focus OUTSIDE THE FRAMEWORK OF GOD AND RELIGION for a humanistic
and compassionate framework to be created that could BETTER METABOLIZE the semiotic constraints that makes coercing people who believe differently
from you an IMPOSSIBLE ENDEAVOR - if you begin from a judgemental, upset, or critical position.
That said, I know dualists like you need their fairy-tales to make them feel better - given a dualistic philosophy - fostering two oppositional
perspectives within the same brain - is BOUND TO MAKE YOU PSYCHOLOGICALLY ILL.
Stop focusing on the fear is my advice