How do you feel about private messages from anonymous people?

I've rarely enjoyed them. When I have enjoyed them, I've almost always felt anxious about them.

The mean reason is because you're dealing with an anonymous person. There's a lot of danger there in my opinion. The wrong word or phrase can insult people, too many or not enough words or messages can get you in trouble, or even mentioning the "wrong" thing can destroy the other person's view of you.

I remember once I wrote to someone that I was an empath, and they flipped out about that. "I need to be careful with you. I'm going to have to really watch what I talk about with you." What a way to start a relationship! I didn't write anything "wrong" or "bad", I just mentioned a fact about myself.

Anything can get you in trouble. I've never found a good way to deal with it, so I don't want to do it anymore.

originally posted by: antiantonym
I remember once I wrote to someone that I was an empath, and they flipped out about that.

You must remember that people get confused about the meaning of unfamiliar words.
That's why it's dangerous nowadays to advertise as a paediatrician- "Aargh! He's a paedophile!"
When you wrote "empath", they probably understood that as "telepath" or "psychopath". Either would explain the reaction.

originally posted by: DISRAELI

originally posted by: antiantonym
I remember once I wrote to someone that I was an empath, and they flipped out about that.

You must remember that people get confused about the meaning of unfamiliar words.
That's why it's dangerous nowadays to advertise as a paediatrician- "Aargh! He's a paedophile!"
When you wrote "empath", they probably understood that as "telepath" or "psychopath". Either would explain the reaction.

That's not what happened. I asked that person why they reacted that way. They told me a story about an empath they met who read their mind or something like that. It scared them a lot, so they were weary of all empaths.

The funny thing is that I don't think I've ever told a person in real life that I'm an empath. It just seems like par for the course online for some reason. I've told other anonymous people that online, and they've reacted completely differently.

The wrong word or phrase can insult people, too many or not enough words or messages can get you in trouble, or even mentioning the "wrong" thing can destroy the other person's view of you.

Anything can get you in trouble

Wait.....You're actually worried how a complete stranger on the internet judges you?


.....no......seriously.....really?

a reply to: antiantonym

You do realize that posting here on ATS means you're doing exactly what you're talking about?

Communicating with people you don't really know?

originally posted by: antiantonym


Anything can get you in trouble. I've never found a good way to deal with it, so I don't want to do it anymore.

The simple way is to not reply, the even simpler way is to not have any social at all. With what we now know about social media with personal details made public why would you???..

It is troubling enough dealing with people you know that have narcissistic mental health issues contacting you let alone total strangers.. Your odds of not running into issues would better if you had unprotected sex with a bunch of midget thai ladyboy prostitutes than getting into conversation with some random lunatic online...



RA

a reply to: DAVID64

In my experience, that's normal after enough private messages.

a reply to: TerminalVelocity

Private messages and public message boards are completely different venues.

a reply to: slider1982

That's the reality of the world today.

lol Me too# You never know what you’re going to run into, out there.


I used to tell everyone I met about my procedure, just so they don’t get any weird ideas
about grabbing my bu++ or anything, because I has bxxbs, especially on Uber rides.
I am not that kind of girl, you know?

Yes, I identify as a woman, so what else is new?
BUT that does not mean you get a free touch (hope I am not loosing any friends lol).

Not even the anesthesiologist!

Communication is important, but some bits -the really juicy ones- should really
be silently savored, and reserved, for the honeymoon.


# 931

originally posted by: antiantonym
a reply to: DAVID64

In my experience, that's normal after enough private messages.

a reply to: TerminalVelocity

Private messages and public message boards are completely different venues.

a reply to: slider1982

That's the reality of the world today.

So someone randomly private messages you out of the blue, you briefly chat, you mention a fact, they get offensive...

Umm? So?

Yeah, I'd be telling them this, not us.

originally posted by: badw0lf
So someone randomly private messages you out of the blue, you briefly chat, you mention a fact, they get offensive...

Umm? So?

Yeah, I'd be telling them this, not us.

This thread started with a question:

How do you feel about private messages from anonymous people?

I gave my answer in the original post. That's how this kind of thread should start.

Only one poster besides me has answered the question. Don't blame me. I did my part correctly.

if you're an empath, none of this should be a problem...

originally posted by: wheresthebody
if you're an empath, none of this should be a problem...

Will you please elaborate on that? I don't see your point.

I've always enjoyed random messages like that, though I can't say I have ever felt any trepidation or anxiety about what they think of me. Its not even necessarily that I don't care, it just doesn't enter my awareness as a concern.

I definitely struggle to empathize with the perception of "danger" or getting in trouble from text on a screen. I can't say I get that at all.

Maybe.. if you are giving your home address away or something?

you're not always going to make a connection with every person you talk to... but unless you talk to people you'll never find any connections. wheat from the chaff and all that stuff, imo.

but usually when i get unsolicited messages they're pretty rude anyway, so we've already started off on the wrong foot

a reply to: antiantonym

I've rarely enjoyed them. When I have enjoyed them, I've almost always felt anxious about them.

I've only initiated one once. It seemed like the right thing to do. I don't regret it.

On the other hand, people have PMd me. Mixed reaction. It's okay if people want clarification of what I wrote publicly. If they view me as an ally, I get nervous. If they give me details about themselves I get somewhat paternalistic. I feel obliged to "guard them", if that makes sense. Then I'm afraid to express certain things publically for fear of "causing them pain".

As I wrote back to one person: "I value anonymity for the simple reason that I can change positions without fear of freaking out a friend."

I love getting random PMs on forums!

Unfortunately the only ones I get these days are for MODs deleting my posts

Never really got any messages from anon people to be honest. I'm not the huge social butterfly so most of the messages I get are from people I already know.

Although, a couple years ago I replied to a person's tweet on Twitter and about an hour later I got a PM from them about how I was being 'flirtatious' with them and their "wife wouldn't like it lol". To this day I have NO Idea what the hell they were talking about. I simply commented about how nice their vacation pics turned out. The person claims it was a joke. Too little, too late. I told them I didn't find it funny and never spoke to them again. That was pretty much the end of my involvement with Twitter. I rarely go there anymore and never post anything myself.

Sounds trivial, but it bothered me since I hadn't done anything to justify the PM I received.

originally posted by: Subrosabelow
Never really got any messages from anon people to be honest. I'm not the huge social butterfly so most of the messages I get are from people I already know.

You may "know" them here, but unless you can prove who they are in real life, they still are anonymous to you.

How do you feel about private messages from anonymous people?

originally posted by: wheresthebody
if you're an empath, none of this should be a problem...

You missed your true calling of the stage wheresthebody

Thanks for the lol