Introverts versus extroverts: Who's better off?

There is a simple belief that I have that relates to this topic.

The less needs one has, the better off they are.

I would say if a person could live like the Tom Hanks character in the film Castaway without feeling lonely (while being happy), they would probably be the strongest person alive. Of course, that character did seem lonely. That's why he made an imaginary friend out of a volleyball.


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That example kind of illustrates why I equate introversion with strength. Not needing others is the ultimate sign of strength to me.

I can't see extroversion as being anything but weakness. I'm not putting it down by the way. I have some of that in myself. I've found that I can go about three months without socializing (outside of the Internet) before it starts affecting my level of happiness. I usually fall into a sudden depression after about three months of no such socializing. I'm a fairly extreme introvert, but I wish I didn't need to do any socializing.

I see relying on others as weakness.

There are advantages to both, extraverts will benefit from more social connections and networking, thus gaining opportunities for trade (of information through conversation, or maybe swapping favors) and even job opportunities. I learn a lot about new video games, shows, technology, ideas to improve my home life, and more.

With the internet, I think a lot of introverts are able to socialize without feeling drained by it. So this means that they can still get a lot of those benefits.

Since they aren't spending time socializing, introverts are able to do things like spending lots more time on their personal hobbies or research, both of which are very cool things.

I personally like the idea of being an introvert better, but I am an extrovert. This means that I don't have as much time to spend playing the video games I want to play or the books I want to read because people are always showing up at my place. I get an almost uncontrollable urge to invite people over, or make new friends, way too often.

I do learn a lot of things about everyday life, such as animes to watch or games to buy, or where to find good deals on food, supplies, or whatnot through in-person conversations. My socializing also improves through all of the interacting I do, which gives me an upper hand in many situations that I find myself in.

There are many benefits of being a sociopath as well, but I am unsure if the benefits outway the cons of never feeling love. There are definitely times I wish I didn’t feel guilt, remorse or regret.

I actually prefer to be alone so I definitely get you as far as being introverted. Other than my immediate family and a couple of friends I could go on without the rest of the world just fine.

Confident introverts are the best.

Most extroverts I know are that way because of a malfunction in their brains and they seek attention and cover up weaknesses.

Goes along with my experience that loud talkers are less intelligent.

Most people see intro and extro as black & white but there are subtle variances. The general definition is that introverts source their emotional energy and inspiration from themselves (and study) while extroverts source those things from the company of others. The extremes of both are very obvious but most people fit into the grey area between.

As for myself, I've had several profiling sessions which all put me on the intro side of centre but I work well with others as a team player too. I feel my best creative atmosphere is going solo though.

Who's better off? I'd say whoever is getting what they need to function well in their environment.

Fellow introvert here. I don't see it through the lense of X vs Y. Important is to recognize yourself for what you are and act accordingly. I am in my late forties now and only started reading about introvert/extrovert traits about eight or nine years ago after doing a Myers Briggs personality test on the web. That was quite eye opening for me as it confirmed so many things about me.

I stopped worrying about not being compatible with the mostly extrovert expectations and ideals of western society. Together with my equally introverted wife we now lead a mostly recluse/hermit couple life. We are each others best friends and are quite happy to only every now and then meet other people.

Before we started living like that about ten years ago I would often torment myself about "not feeling it" when invited to parties or other group events even if I liked the individuals that would be present there. Now that I embraced my introvert nature I am so much happier.

We both definitely are happy with very little and only work to live - not the other way around.

a reply to: antiantonym

You have internet because society..

I'm very introverted, but my strengths from that feel way more because I'm wearing a jacket made from other people in a home I pay rent in..

If you look at history..

We out competed every other version of humans..

Our advantage while not having the biggest brains was our ability to group up and communicate.

In any case both groups are widely used in our society that was not started by introverts haha. We all are better for all the other types of ourselves.

I'm better at thinking deeply.. Somone else is better at thinking laterally on the surface.. when you have both your group thinks in 3d.

When I'm most myself I'm in my head. And as smart as I might or could be, no one is there to hear it.. A little extroversion doesn't hurt hehe.

Both silly.

It's ok to be you.

It's ok for them to be them.

a reply to: Pilgrum

I am able to deal with groups and teams, but I find it exhausting and prefer one on one interaction or none at all.

a reply to: antiantonym

Good topic to bring up.

I think humans are social creatures for the most part and inherently need socializing. Maybe some animals are suited to being alone but not humans.

I think you just have to be careful who you socialize with and get close to.

It doesn't necessarily mean you have to have a mate that lives with you, or a person that lives with you as long as you are social outside the home.

Socializing can make your life richer, and introduce you to interesting and beneficial things.

There are also many benefits to being alone.

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I had a fish that was buddies with one particular fish, and it passed away. I could tell it was stressed out. I figured it might get used to it and did not get another fish. It was apparently stressed by the way it behaved. Finally I got some fish of the same species and it calmed down.

Me, i am both. I really do not like being around people. However, i have a few close friends and lodge brothers i hang out with from time to time. Quality of quantity. Unfortunatley, humans to need outside contact.. for me, moderation is key.

a reply to: antiantonym

I agree with you.

In a healthy society beings do not become deeply introvert and can stand to be around other beings since the society creates a sense of fairness and cooperation. The ideal world vs the corrupt world.

Human society is anything but healthy. The Power pyramid is a deeply insane social structure.



The extrovert will break and bend to other demands while introverts can stand up for the ideal world even when surrounding with insanity. The extroverts become the brainwashed masses who have no clue.

The more Awareness and consciousness a being have the more it see:s what is and not want it wishes to be. This brings the disconnect. The extrovert stay in plato:s cave/The Matrix and never know what the mystics are seeking with the KNOWING.

The grass (awareness and behavior) is really greener on the other side of the veil. This is the desert where beings prove where they belong by their actions.

Myers-Briggs is great for teaching you to love yourself the way you are and also to appreciate that other people, though different, have something to contribute and a place in this world also. An introvert may not need a lot of companionship but he probably needs other things that were imagined by, built by, or provided by extraverts. We all need each other but for different things.

Sal

a reply to: antiantonym

a reply to: SallieSunshine

Funny you should mention Meyers-Briggs. That test can be skewed depending on where you are in your life when you take it.

Many years ago, when I was successful realtor, I scored as quite outgoing-the perfect score for a salesperson. However, growing up, I was very shy and bookish. But, within a few years, after college, I pushed myself to "learn" social techniques and that helped me professionally. Hence, an outgoing sales personality on the outside but on the inside I preferred a quiet life with a few close friends.

Later in my life I scored lower because I no longer needed to push myself to make the social connections needed to achieve respect and acceptance from being out-going and showing wit, success, intelligence.

A few years ago, I took it again and and skewed back into being more introvert than extrovert. I'm definitely at more comfortable with myself and my place in the world. I don't need to push myself "out there" and prove anything to myself or anyone. That's the nice part of growing older-I still enjoy occasional social experiences but know I enjoy more quiet time than many of my friends. I'm more comfortable with who I am.

For some of us, Meyers-Briggs is not a true test of who we really are-just who we might be at the time of the test taking.

a reply to: antiantonym

There are pluses and minuses to every way of being. One way of being is no better than any other. Some say having a good balance is the best way. But there are pluses and minuses to being too balanced.

Pushing subjective personal opinions aside for the moment:

www.inc.com...

Staying out of the crowd as an introvert while staying focused on what you do will go a long way in ensuring that you excel at what you do.

Also, you cannot lead people if you are a follower like them, and most followers are extroverts.

If leading is not your game and you're an introvert, you probably have more peace of mind than an extrovert who gives people a piece of their mind.

a reply to: Justso

I always flip between J and P I think are the two opposites on that test. The other three are pretty clear.

I am very entrenched as an introvert. It's not that I dislike people. I like actually do like them very much, but I prefer to observe than interact. Interacting gets stressful quickly.

It really depends. I think society as a whole rewards extroverts more than introverts.

Personally, I am an introvert. I really don't need a ton of social interaction with others to be happy. I don't necessarily want to be totally isolated, but I'm perfectly happy spending time by myself. I've never had a ton of friends and also an only child, so have never needed to be around others to be happy. I find a lot of people to be selfish, manipulative, etc. Kind of like Mark Twain said... "The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog."

I am in no way socially awkward, but I don't really make an effort to just be friends with any and everybody either.

If I didn't have a wife and kids, I'd probably be living in a camper driving across the country by myself or living out in a rural area instead of a big city.

My wife is a fairly successful corporate executive. However, she is also an introvert. Her biggest issue/barrier at work has been not being extroverted enough so she sometimes doesn't get credit for her accomplishments.

I often think am mostly an introvert, but I love a good party and I think if I had to go more than 2 months without gitting laid I would surely die. What does that make me?

a reply to: antiantonym

I think us introverted extroverts need more representation here.

a reply to: underwerks

Hear hear!
I love people and truly enjoy interacting with others, live and in person. I have had many, many unforgettable experiences with incredible individuals and deep or fascinating conversations as a result of my bent to interact when I'm travelling or at home.

Lately, (since starting a family) I've kept to myself much more and turned more inward, saved my energy for those I think need it the most now, and I truly enjoy time alone and quiet time to think.

So, yeah, cheers to the introverted extroverts!!!