TransKids...um...'things'...

originally posted by: bluechevytree
by law if you are under 21 you aren`t mature enough to make the choice to drink alcohol...

Didn't stop me.

by law if you are under 18 you aren`t mature enough...to have sex.

Didn't stop me.

by law you aren`t mature enough to decide to drive until you are 16

Didn't stop me.

by law if you are a toddler you are mature enough to decide what sex you want to be and to wear a genital strap on.

I wasn't that f***** up a kid.

a reply to: redhorse

The bigger deal you make of it, the more likely the kid is to dig in, get confused and have trouble with identity issues involving sexuality and gender identity as adolescents. In fact, by getting upset and shaming a child you are almost guaranteeing it.

If you re-read my post, I specifically said not to correct the behavior harshly, but with gentle firmness. That is the difference.

You walk over, take the shoes off, and simply state, "No...those are for girls, like mommy. You are a boy, like daddy."

Don't get loud and obnoxious or hyperventilate about it. Use play and other teaching moments to reinforce his knowledge that he is a boy. Do it without fanfare, but do it consistently and with gentle firmness.

originally posted by: queenofswords
If you re-read my post, I specifically said not to correct the behavior harshly, but with gentle firmness. That is the difference.

You walk over, take the shoes off, and simply state, "No...those are for girls, like mommy. You are a boy, like daddy."

Don't get loud and obnoxious or hyperventilate about it. Use play and other teaching moments to reinforce his knowledge that he is a boy. Do it without fanfare, but do it consistently and with gentle firmness.

just nope... no reason to do that, imo. but you raise your kids your way, i guess.

do you have kids?

a reply to: fiverx313

What do you disagree with? The parental guidance part? The gentle correction to reinforce and help a baby or toddler gender identify? The part about all the confusing messages surrounding children on TV and other media?

originally posted by: queenofswords
a reply to: fiverx313

What do you disagree with? The parental guidance part? The gentle correction to reinforce and help a baby or toddler gender identify? The part about all the confusing messages surrounding children on TV and other media?

i don't agree that you need to correct a toddler for wearing high heels. gender expression is not, in my opinion, a rigid binary that you need to police for your children. it's not going to make your baby gay OR transgender, and stopping them from exploring the world around them for your own arbitrary notions and personal comfort about what's 'suitable' for a boy or a girl is just creating confusion for the kid and reinforcing something that's not really that relevant.

a reply to: queenofswords

As someone who was once a kid, im pretty certain that my biology will create the urges its meant to, and help me line out my sexuality without much input from my parents.

As someone who raised 2 boys (1 gay, 1 anything but gay), I can say honestly that what they choose to play with has more to do with having fun than with creating identity disorders. The human mind is MEANT to have these things all worked out without any real effort. Its how we have been so successful at overpopulating the planet.

originally posted by: Liquesence
a reply to: silo13

That's. Um.

Well.

***

But I don't see what Jesus has to do with it.

No shiite.. Hasn't Jesus been 'used' enough??? Let Him enjoy playing air guitar on a cloud...

a reply to: fiverx313

IMO, gender expression is what you are using as a substitute for gender identification.

You believe that a 3-yr. old boy donning mommy's high heels is him expressing his gender. I say it is not. It is an opportunity to assist the toddler in gender identification.

You call it "policing", and I call it guiding and teaching.

Exploring the world around them is not limited. There are gazillions of opportunities to explore without approving of your 3-yr. old boy wearing mommy's high heels. Just because you remove them and use the opportunity to teach him, does not take away any opportunities whatsoever.

Arbitrary notions and personal comfort have nothing to do with it. That is YOU projecting.

originally posted by: queenofswords
a reply to: fiverx313

IMO, gender expression is what you are using as a substitute for gender identification.

i'm not. one can identify as a girl and wear heels, or identify as a girl and not wear heels. one can identify as a boy and wear heels, or identify as a boy and not wear high heels. men wore heels in centuries past and women didn't. we just pick and choose what is for boys and what is for girls but there is no inherent quality of the item. it's societally determined, that is arbitrary. you are not comfortable, so you correct. that's not necessary.

originally posted by: queenofswords
You call it "policing", and I call it guiding and teaching.

Do you really think we have to teach out kids about what to like, whether they are a boy, etc?

If we have to teach it to them...doesn't that make it a social construct? Im not willing to accept that, honestly...I believe sexuality is innate, and we can pretty much figure it out all on our own.

Being raised out int he country as a kid, thats the one thing im CERTAIN of: that kids, when left alone, can figure out the sexuality thing just fine witout parental guidance.

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

I know what you're saying, bfft, but, gender identification actually begins in infancy around the age of 6-7 months, and progresses from there.

By the age of 7 or 8, kids generally have a pretty good grasp of the differences and know which one they are, and they are able to grasp the fact that gender does not change. Prior to that general age, some kids don't have a firm grasp on the fact that one cannot switch genders.

Parents play a vital role by just being parents. Again...."No. Those are for girls, like mommy. You are a boy, like daddy". (That sort of gentle guidance.)

It's not about teaching kids what to like. It is about gentle consistent guidance to help them KNOW what they are.

You were probably raised during a time when there wasn't so many conflicting and confusing signals about sexuality and gender from TV, ads, celebrities, books, internet, etc. Heck! Parents are even confused now.

a reply to: fiverx313

I don't believe this to be true. You are being too simplistic.

It is not about the heels. It is about guidance, using the heels (which today is not normal for boys to wear) as a tool to guide and direct the child in his progression toward his gender identity.

Allow your 3rd grade boy to dress in high heels, and see what "society" determines. I can assure you his classmates will view the heels as having an "inherent" quality.

a reply to: queenofswords

Im 45....from the days of Stretch Armstrong and Pet Rocks.

a reply to: silo13

People better feakin' smarten up soon and find Jesus or you're going to reallllly regret it.

didnt jesus say something about judging people?
youre judging alot of people who already have enough to deal with, on one website run by one person.

'find Jesus or you're going to reallllly regret it'.
i do like that very christian phrase though.

a reply to: fiverx313

Actually, yes there is, but not for the reasons either of you think.

Heels can break, and kids aren't known for their gentleness. I am not about to let my kid run around in heels that could endanger him or the shoes either one.

originally posted by: queenofswords
a reply to: fiverx313

I don't believe this to be true. You are being too simplistic.

It is not about the heels. It is about guidance, using the heels (which today is not normal for boys to wear) as a tool to guide and direct the child in his progression toward his gender identity.

Allow your 3rd grade boy to dress in high heels, and see what "society" determines. I can assure you his classmates will view the heels as having an "inherent" quality.

it's entirely possible to get across to your kids that something is not usual and that other people might think this or that, but that doesn't make it wrong.

and again, letting your kid play with heels is not going to change his gender identity. but shaming your kid for being drawn to them will be a nifty way to give them a complex about it.

a reply to: fiverx313

Do not shame him. I never said to do that. Guide him gently but firmly. It is your responsibility as a parent to help your child through the process of gender identification. It is a confusing world we find ourselves in today. Parents cannot drop this ball now.

a reply to: queenofswords

Eh, mine spent time tromping around in both our shoes as a toddler -- mine and his father's. Since he was simply generally playing with shoes and not either mine or his daddy's especially, I didn't make a big deal out of it. Also, he wasn't playing at being a boy or girl in particular while doing it. He was just having fun clomping around in giant shoes (no, none of mine were heels).

As I recalled playing with dad's workboots for the same reason as a little girl -- the fun of clomping around in giant shoes without regard to whose they were or why -- I let him get on with it and figured it was simply a similar phase.

I was right. He won't touch girly things now for anything.

a reply to: queenofswords

It is your responsibility as a parent to help your child through the process of gender identification.

no its not.
in several thousand years of civilization, no one has ever utterd those words.

originally posted by: Rikku
a reply to: queenofswords

It is your responsibility as a parent to help your child through the process of gender identification.

no its not.
in several thousand years of civilization, no one has ever utterd those words.

Actually, we are uttering it quite frequently these days when it comes to transkids.