A Scar No One Else Can See

Merry Christmas, or Happy Holidays if thats more your bag. Maybe just tidings of a chill solstice? A festive Festivus? Hope you're having a good day?

Cool, now that all of the pleasantries are out of the way, I come bearing a gift! It's a super neat conspiracy I stumbled across thanks to one Mr. Anthony Fantano over on the youtubes.

"Big Effing Deal!!!" Some might say. But I haven't even told you the best part yet.....

...ready? It's not just super neat, but it has literally NOTHING AT ALL to do with T•••p® or H•••••y®!

So, without further ado, I present to you:

A Scar No One Else Can See




In this quite long publication the author delves into evidence he has gathered, presenting what he calls "The Jepson Pattern" . That's right folks, we're talking about Carly Rae Jepsen. Hold on to your butts.

For those not familiar with Carly Rae Jepsen:
She is a Canadian singer/songwriter of pop music, with a career spanning over 15 years and hundreds of songs. Personally, I believe her album "Emotion" to be the best pop album to be released this decade. And when I say pop, I absolutely do not mean top40. They are not the same thing, and if you're one of those who misguidedly thinks you're too cool for pop music, you're ****ing not, you're just missing out on a VAST genera of music.

But my own opinions aside, from the source:

Welcome to the rejected, the unwanted, the despairing.  The smell you smell is a blossom tree.  The chill you feel is a cold breeze as you walk the streets alone at night.  The emotion you feel is longing.

            The voice you hear is Carly Rae Jepsen.

            You might be reading this as a joke.  Out of vague curiosity.  You might’ve thought the person who claimed to have discovered a massive secret pattern in a popstar’s music was doing it ironically, or maybe just lost on a long hike up their own ass.

            Welcome to you, too, the cynics and the disinvested.  Come in, and find out, but first, a warning:   “Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch’intrate.”  

He continues:

The (Barely) Hidden Pattern Within Carly Rae Jepsen’s Entire Discography

 

A track-by-track investigation of Carly Rae Jepsen’s discography nakedly reveals an undeniable, axiomatic, rigid, all encompassing, over-arching and strictly limited set of repeating themes and sub-themes, which, when examined, and could be construed as telling in three parts one single story, from one specific moment in a person’s life, again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again...Sometimes, with the exact same words.

Imagine a world where The Beatles only sang about being a Paperback Writer. Imagine a world where the Rolling Stones only sang about having Sympathy For The Devil. Imagine a world where Beyonce only sang about being a Single Lady.

Imagine a world where pop artists each only chose to sing about one thing, or one story, and were somehow condemned to repeat that story endlessly again and again and again, in not only general theme, but in painful specifics, possibly recounting one incident from their own life, endlessly dramatizing each of its three acts, ad infinitum.

Now what if I told you I could prove that world existed, at least for one artist.



What if I told you, in the most sane, calm voice, making the most sane, calm face I could manifest onto the front of my head, that that artist was Canadian pop-star Carly Rae Jepsen.



Because that is what I’m telling you. I am telling you that.



And I can prove it.



I hope you’ll notice I didn’t say “argue.” I said “prove.” I can prove that Jepsen’s songs are connected. We’re going all the way here. This is not a half-measure.



We’ll be going to her unreleased first album. Her collaborations. Songs she’s chosen to cover. We’re doing pretty much everything.

Because only then will you understand the depth of the phenomenon I have uncovered. You cannot understand the scope of the ocean by standing on the beach. And you will, as the idiom goes, # bricks. And # more bricks. And by the end, we will together build a house in Canada, with those bricks, and live in it forever. So, Where to begin?

This thing is a beast of a theory. I mean it's basically an essay. The thing has its own effing website, but man was I drawn in, and he literally proves what he claims.

It leads to some really dark conclusions you're forced make about ms jepson and her mindset (super crazy obsessive stalker kind of conclusions.)

It's super neat, one of the most legit interesting things I'm seen in a while, and you will never listen to "call me maybe" the same way.

a reply to: UtopiaDistopia

Fixing Embed, hope you don't mind...

oh you mean like this one?

I'm not seeing it, I mean i'm seeing a lot of things, grin, except the secret message you think is here. I hate popular theories, and this, isn't one of them. I was never one to sway towards the popular crowd, for obvious reasons, lack of intellect was one of them.

a reply to: intrptr

Not at all! Thank you!

a reply to: Sapphire

It's not a message, it's a pattern. Literally every song is reliving one specific moment, or so it seems.

And would you say that what poppy and titanic Sinclair are doing is unintellectual?

a reply to: UtopiaDistopia

I was, a little gone when i responded to that sorry.