Couple married 69 years forced to separate days before Christmas

a reply to: antar

That's weird. Let me find the right link. WOW. Dunno how that happened. Thanks for the heads up dear.

a reply to: Blaine91555


Yes the Government just cant supply the required necessities, their was a balance point where a house with a bit of land would be enough, all affordable about thirty years back. That would have been a families security, a garden a workshop, and the dopamine feedback of having actually grown food and made something with your god given skills. Now the food is of poor quality trucked in from far away, pumping Carbon into the atmosphere , with the proviso its you that cant have a wood fire, because its free and the politicians cronies at the Electricity company would sell less if you do. We are slowly being made dependent so our purchasing power is being directed , and manipulated. But I guess most of the people have fallen for it, which means if they haven't the skills to make it or grow it they will have to steal it.

Here's the link. I don't know why it didn't go through before.

source

There is no good answer here.

Imagine 69 years of being together and ripped apart, the distress would be enough to put them into shock and depression.

a reply to: strongfp
you wish, whats with people desperate for this to be a heartbreaking story?

after 69 years? they'd probably appreciate a break.
life is not a corny christmas movie.

My husband is a decade + my senior.

If I were in these shoes at their age, which in the decades to come we certainly may be, I'd be damn grateful he was getting more appropriate care despite being at a different facility, and ripping the news a new one for manipulating emotions.
I can't possibly be the only person on here who sees far more value in getting life-prolonging & life-improving care, & them meaning a lot more than being together on one calendar day (even Christians can't agree on when Christmas is, enter the Orthodox) There's 365 of these planet rotations, the fleeting annual title of one does not mean more to me than a life. I'd gladly sacrifice a holiday together if it means my husband lives many more days, weeks, months. Hopefully years, but let's be realistic at that age.

originally posted by: Nyiah
I can't possibly be the only person on here...

You're not.

a reply to: Nyiah

not everyone feels that way though

some people feel that they are old as # and 1 foot in the grave already so screw the better care just let me stay with my sweetheart.
they would not be wrong for that just like you are not wrong how you feel.

If someone does not want to go, they cannot take them. Whom ever has power of attorney signed off on this. If there is no one in that spot they may have signed power of attorney to someone else, they can just tell that person they are fired and immediately their power of attorney ends....no paperwork needed. That is how the law reads for us regular people, maybe since this is a company they have special rights or maybe the place they are staying in has said they cannot give them the care they need.

We still have the right to refuse service from doctors if we do not agree with them. People can't fathom that but it is true. Just because a doctor tells you you should go somewhere doesn't mean you have to, they need written authority from someone like a child or spouse to do that, and that person authorizing it has to be lucid.

I do not know the whole story to this, but something can be worked out with this if the person making it happen is reminded of the laws. They also must be told they have to abide by the laws. Now if the place they are staying in does not have the ability to provide proper service for them, then they can say they have to leave, but this sounds like someone in an agency somewhere is showing their power...power they may not really have. Sadly to say, this kind of stuff happens a lot in this country to older people.

originally posted by: silo13
...I usually love to post about elderly couples ... dying...

whoa... strange thing to love.

wheres the family in this? those homes arent prisons the family can reunite them forcibly.

a reply to: dragonridr

agreed, if the kids care about their mom and dad being together they should pay the extra money to have both mom and dad moved to the same facility that provides the extra care that dad needs.

originally posted by: NobodiesNormal

originally posted by: silo13
...I usually love to post about elderly couples ... dying...

whoa... strange thing to love.

wheres the family in this? those homes arent prisons the family can reunite them forcibly.

Honestly it isn't a strange thing to post about.
Think about it.
Couples who went through hell and high water together for 50-60 years and pass on together or within days of each other?
It's so incredible beautiful.
A testament to life and love.
Something I bet most of us - if we could chose - would do ourselves.
A life-mate for 50-60 years?
Then 'go out' together.
So incredible lovely.

originally posted by: bluechevytree
a reply to: dragonridr

agreed, if the kids care about their mom and dad being together they should pay the extra money to have both mom and dad moved to the same facility that provides the extra care that dad needs.

hell yeah
everyone has thousands of dollars extra a month or year to go towards their parents nursing home care

here is a link....atlantic.ctvnews.ca...

the daugher was given 5 hours to make a decision...the parents were in am assisted living facility that is different from a nursing home..they wanted her dad to go to the nursing home because he has dementia and needs more care...they could both go to a nursing home 3 hours away or the father to go to a nursing home 30 minutes away without his wife.....the daughter couldn't decide so social development forced her parents to decide (with the father suffering ddementia)

very sad for the couple and the family members not good all the way around....so my question,,,they have been in that assisted living for a while.....and dementia doesn;t just happen...it starts and runs its course until the end.....didn't the facility talk to the family and fill out papers for when the time came...6 hours is a very short window of time,,,,,

originally posted by: NobodiesNormal

originally posted by: silo13
...I usually love to post about elderly couples ... dying...

whoa... strange thing to love.

wheres the family in this? those homes arent prisons the family can reunite them forcibly.

a reply to: research100

yeah very sad that the kids were too cheap for mom and dad to be together and now they are bitching about it, I guess the kids that don`t care enough about their parents to foot the bill now want the taxpayers to care more about their parents and foot the bill? ungrateful cheap brats.

a reply to: silo13

just another example of the state demonstrating its power over the cattle.

This the kind of animal 'the state' is. Its not very citzen friendly is it?

What makes people think 'the state' cares about the physical security to the point that it must strip us of our freedoms and privacy in order to stop terrorists who seek to take away our freedoms and privacy"

originally posted by: bluechevytree
a reply to: research100

yeah very sad that the kids were too cheap for mom and dad to be together and now they are bitching about it, I guess the kids that don`t care enough about their parents to foot the bill now want the taxpayers to care more about their parents and foot the bill? ungrateful cheap brats.

at the prices many of these places charge, they are lucky the kids can afford to pay for one. you can easily be looking at over $2,000/month/person. another example of the over inflated prices of medical care. for many people just the price of the facility they were originally in would be far too expensive to afford. for many of the elderly their homes they spent over 30 years paying for, and would like to leave to their children need to be sold off. and the money from the sale of the house, may only cover a few years of the far overpriced cost of assisted living. a great way of removing any inheritance from families, thus keeping families in virtual debt.

fact is these places should be affordable to those useing them, paid for through their social security and retirement benifits. not relying on children paying for it. and such places should be required to accomaadate spouses and even the rarer case of dependant special needs children living within the same facility, even if their needs do not require the level of care the other needs. i like the idea of the place my grandmother lived. it was set up as seinior appartments, but if it became nessissary to move someone to a care facility, it was literally just a few steps to that building. thus keeping spouses together. even when one may need 24 hour care, while the other was capable of living on their own. it was easy for the spouse to be with their other half for most of the day. yet be assured that they were getting the care they needed.

You know, in all seriousness, This is an example of "Ageism" and people being "Ageist" against anyone over 60 years old.....or even 40 years old.

I keep getting a popup advert of Warren Buffet making a speech somewhere, and the first thing he says is....Ive just turned 87 yo and blah blah....billionaire, blah blahh....

He's old, grey, hunched over, out of breath as he talks, but noone, especially him, would suggest he should be in a nursing home, and stop worrying about this making money stuff, because he is too "Old" and past it!!

My 20 yo Daughter went to our ComiCon here, last month and was delighted to attend a talk by 95 yo Stan Lee....who travelled 13000 miles to visit us.......and she was in awe of his wit, charm and quick mind.

Who, now days, has the right to say when someone is "Old" or needs "More Care"?
How would they know, that this couple may have decided in their 20s or 30s, that they would stay together till the end, till death do they part?.

So I say F*** all you do gooders, PC wankers, and interferers.....often in "Old Folks Homes" etc which are just a money spinner for the Business man, to extort money from oldies anyway.

Who gives a Tom Tit if the old fella dies in the arms of his Forever loved one? That's probably what they want to happen anyway, not get separated and die lonely.

So if Warren and Stan and millions of other, generally wealthy, vintage folk can live by themselves, with some hired help, then so should everyone.

Me, I dont care if Im 95, and cark it while riding my motorbike, or driving my muscle car down the strip...provided I dont kill anyone else......What a way to go!!.....Or even better, in the sack with some nubile woman of any age!! Come on Down.......

No older folk should be forced to move into "Old Peoples" Homes to die.......you can die just as well at home.....or anywhere, anyway.

Why the hell didn't they treat the couple as one entity and move both of them together to the new home?

Sadly, this is what happens when you cede your autonomy to the state.