Baptist Preacher Gives Congregation Advice on How to Avoid a Gay Waiter

I guess this is always handy to know, especially if you hate the idea of being served by those icky-gay waiters. It's so nice and refreshing for our religious brethren to be spending their time on such truly useful topics.

Linky

This Pastor comes with a fine pedigree.

Adam Fannin is the pastor of Jacksonville Stedfast Baptist. That church is part of a network of Independent Fundamentalist Baptist churches founded by Donnie Romero, an anti-gay preacher who wants gay people put to death and who made headlines in 2016 when he celebrated the mass shooting at Pulse nightclub.

Romero said at the time, “the earth is a little bit better place now” with the deaths of nearly 50 LGBTQ people. As for those who were only injured in the shooting, Romero added, “I’ll pray that God will finish the job that that man started, and he will end their life, and by tomorrow morning they will all be burning in hell, just like the rest of them, so that they don’t get any more opportunity to go out and hurt little children.”

What a fine and upstanding human, with so much compassion, who can be surprised that his friend will show us how to avoid the gay, well just because.

If I ever go to a restaurant and you sit down, and then here comes this flaming foo-foo fruit loop, right? And you’re like, “Oh great. I’m here to have date night, enjoy some time with my wife, and I can’t… because of the lisps, I can’t even, you know.”

My recommendation — if you don’t just get up and leave — my recommendation is just don’t order anything. “Well, here, let me get you a drink.” No, just wait. Just wait. And you sit there patiently and you look around, and you will find a lady that looks like a mom, that looks like a very diligent worker.

You will find somebody that you notice that’s busy, that’s doing stuff. You say, “Yeah, that’s the one right there!” You walk up to them and you say, “Hey, what’s your name? Have we had you before? Can we get you over here?”… I guarantee you it always works… Then you can enjoy your dinner and, hey, you better tip her well! Let that foo-foo know what he missed out on, okay? That’s how you avoid a gay waiter.

I feel so enlightened, and I guess it's all good because he's not calling for the mass-murder of gays this time, just ways to avoid them at dinner.

I guess that makes it all ok then.

To show what a truly fine fellow he give us the following quote.

Pastor Fannin is a notoriously homophobic pastor. In a previous sermon he declared that gay people were “not born that way but will burn that way”

I wonder what Foo Foo means?

a reply to: bgerbger

My guess, the man is a self deprecating gay who simply cannot face it, so he uses his religion as some sort of shield. SAD!

a reply to: bgerbger

I suspect that only the bats in his head know what 'foo-foo' means. What is it with these religious lunatics?

a reply to: bgerbger

Wow, I wonder how long he studies/works on his sermons.
This line made me chuckle.

and you will find a lady that looks like a mom, that looks like a very diligent worker.

A lady who looks like a Mom? I wonder if that includes the 'mom pants'?
My sister is 83 and looks like a grandmother, of course she is not a server in a restaurant.

One of my favourite waiters is Jessie, maybe male, maybe female, I don't know and I don't care. Jessie always gets my order right and sometimes doubles as bartender. Jessie makes a mean martini and I do tip very well.

I am very carful to use Jessie when I address the waiter as pronouns can be hurtful and it's kind of a dance of the tongue. If a waiter wasn't attetive , or got my order incorrect I wouldn't care.

As to the Sky Pilot in the op, well there is no accounting for taste. Wonder what would Jesus think?

originally posted by: Nickn3
Wonder what would Jesus think?

The one who hung around with 12 dudes and never got married?

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: Nickn3
Wonder what would Jesus think?

The one who hung around with 12 dudes and never got married?

Not THAT guy! The guy from the bible! You know him, there are pictures and statues of his .. manly.. and suspiciously sexy .. sometimes fun-tortured .. body all over your local church and stuff.

Not the other guy you so very, very obviously painting gay-like! Not that guy!

originally posted by: ManFromEurope
Not THAT guy! The guy from the bible! You know him, there are pictures and statues of his .. manly.. and suspiciously sexy .. sometimes fun-tortured .. body all over your local church and stuff.

Not the other guy you so very, very obviously painting gay-like! Not that guy!

I love that guy!

In a totally hetero dude bro kind of way.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: ManFromEurope
Not THAT guy! The guy from the bible! You know him, there are pictures and statues of his .. manly.. and suspiciously sexy .. sometimes fun-tortured .. body all over your local church and stuff.

Not the other guy you so very, very obviously painting gay-like! Not that guy!

I love that guy!

In a totally hetero dude bro kind of way.

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure...

How can you tell if your waiter is gay?
Do you have to tap your foot under a bathroom stall and see if he responds?
I've known guys who come off as a little effimenate that were total pussy hounds.

originally posted by: bgerbger
I guess this is always handy to know, especially if you hate the idea of being served by those icky-gay waiters. It's so nice and refreshing for our religious brethren to be spending their time on such truly useful topics.

Linky

This Pastor comes with a fine pedigree.

Adam Fannin is the pastor of Jacksonville Stedfast Baptist. That church is part of a network of Independent Fundamentalist Baptist churches founded by Donnie Romero, an anti-gay preacher who wants gay people put to death and who made headlines in 2016 when he celebrated the mass shooting at Pulse nightclub.

Romero said at the time, “the earth is a little bit better place now” with the deaths of nearly 50 LGBTQ people. As for those who were only injured in the shooting, Romero added, “I’ll pray that God will finish the job that that man started, and he will end their life, and by tomorrow morning they will all be burning in hell, just like the rest of them, so that they don’t get any more opportunity to go out and hurt little children.”

What a fine and upstanding human, with so much compassion, who can be surprised that his friend will show us how to avoid the gay, well just because.

If I ever go to a restaurant and you sit down, and then here comes this flaming foo-foo fruit loop, right? And you’re like, “Oh great. I’m here to have date night, enjoy some time with my wife, and I can’t… because of the lisps, I can’t even, you know.”

My recommendation — if you don’t just get up and leave — my recommendation is just don’t order anything. “Well, here, let me get you a drink.” No, just wait. Just wait. And you sit there patiently and you look around, and you will find a lady that looks like a mom, that looks like a very diligent worker.

You will find somebody that you notice that’s busy, that’s doing stuff. You say, “Yeah, that’s the one right there!” You walk up to them and you say, “Hey, what’s your name? Have we had you before? Can we get you over here?”… I guarantee you it always works… Then you can enjoy your dinner and, hey, you better tip her well! Let that foo-foo know what he missed out on, okay? That’s how you avoid a gay waiter.

I feel so enlightened, and I guess it's all good because he's not calling for the mass-murder of gays this time, just ways to avoid them at dinner.

I guess that makes it all ok then.

To show what a truly fine fellow he give us the following quote.

Pastor Fannin is a notoriously homophobic pastor. In a previous sermon he declared that gay people were “not born that way but will burn that way”

I wonder what Foo Foo means?

But what if it's some tricky gay that's mastered the art of talking without a lisp(clearly after years of intense vocal training), resists that devil inspired temptation to be 'flaming' and daggonnit there's just no way to tell? How do you avoid it then? /sarcasm

# if this idiot wasn't a preacher i'd think he was a child or something. His sermons must be really pleasant

The reality is everyone that doesn't belong to and attend his church is 'evil'.

All churches are like that, even finger pointing at each other. Its about the offering plate, its about the friggin money.

So the message is made confusing enough on purpose, you have to keep coming back to get it.

Pass the plate...

a reply to: intrptr

"All churches are like that"

Yeah, sure bro. Someone finds a whackjob and that's what all churches are like.

Do you also generalize and stereotype African-Americans and Muslims that way too?

originally posted by: jjkenobi
a reply to: intrptr

"All churches are like that"

Yeah, sure bro. Someone finds a whackjob and that's what all churches are like.

Do you also generalize and stereotype African-Americans and Muslims that way too?

All Organized religion, yes. And we are all human, too.

You divide it any way you want. Religious fervor and Racism are divisive by design.

originally posted by: skunkape23
How can you tell if your waiter is gay?
Do you have to tap your foot under a bathroom stall and see if he responds?
I've known guys who come off as a little effimenate that were total pussy hounds.

And there's also the opposite, very manly men, full of bravado, muscles, looking like lumberjacks.....sometimes even very hot (from a woman's point of view), and they're married to a man....

This guy sounds like a real peach!

I wonder if he has any good advice on how to avoid disgusting homophobes.

For the record, my favorite bartender and server ever were gay guys.

They were great at their job, hilarious, and all around great people.

I would avoid dirty heteros any day to have them serve me.

originally posted by: skunkape23
How can you tell if your waiter is gay?
Do you have to tap your foot under a bathroom stall and see if he responds?
I've known guys who come off as a little effimenate that were total pussy hounds.

I know a dude who is an intellectual and has an effeminate voice. Dude is straight as an arrow though, but dammit if he is always getting accused of being gay. It's actually kind of funny to watch. Especially if the dude making the assumption is a homophobe.

a reply to: bgerbger


Who wants to bet that Pastor Fannin doesn't have just 1 closet for His skeletons but a whole floor at His "compound" to house them??? Probably types His sermons whilst a young male "aide" drips hot wax on His privates...

Stay Hydrated...

P.S. But I'm not one to type as I'm currently wearing swim fins and a catcher's mask...

a reply to: bgerbger

Dude sounds like the kind of guy that Jesus would have chased out of a temple...and I'm not even religious, but I know an asshat when I see one.

When I was forced to attend church as a child/tween (god I hate the word "tween"), it was at Baptist churches, and not one thing was ever mentioned about homosexuality or any of that kind of stuff (and this was in the '80s with all of the AIDS scare going around).

Of course, that was in California, so maybe Baptist preachers are a little softer around the edges in that part of the country versus Jacksonville, Florida, or maybe it's because he's a part of a group of fundamentalist Baptist churches.

Sounds to me that the preacher doth protest too much, methinks.

originally posted by: JimNasium
But I'm not one to type as I'm currently wearing swim fins and a catcher's mask...

Best detail of the day.