Pissing in the Pool

So, I was sitting here contemplating the Universe and I just suddenly had the most interesting analogy play out in my head regarding the ongoing second-grade level pissing contest between two feuding political factions who, erroneously, presume themselves qualified to represent the majority of the nation; one side boasting and gloating, vindictive and full of contrived self righteousness, the other side petulant and spiteful, vindictive and full of bitterness. The commonality between them is that both are vindictive. It has become a sport, a competition where the winner is the side with the least amount of living, breathing douche nozzles representing their chosen team.

Meanwhile, America as a nation of a whole lot of people who stand for a whole lot of different things and have the constitutional right to do just that, is badly listing like a sinking ship of its own poor design, while its inhabitants bicker endlessly over who is more wrong or more right instead of trying to plug the holes that are allowing the deluge to fill the vessel and drag it under.

And for whatever reason, I was reminded of a day long ago in ancient times when I was a teenager, being forced into slave labor by my mother, who ordered me to take my siblings to the neighborhood pool. And I wasn't about to get in that pool because there were way too many people in there and that creeps me out, so I was lying in the Sun with a book.

And all the sudden, there's this uproar from the giant bowl of people soup, I can hear my neighbor screeching at volume. I sit up and assess...and it seems someone has pissed in the pool and possibly more than one someone.

And a heated screaming match ensues as the son of the lifeguard is implicated in this crime against humanity. Outrage is the word of the hour as the other lifeguard agrees he was involved. Both lifeguards jump into the pool and get up in faces, etc.

And I'm sitting there, fourteen years old, just watching all this unfold. It was surreal. And I was fairly cynical by this age so from my perspective it was a bunch of suburban parents who were encouraged to compete with each other in various contests each month...people would kill other people's grass and flowers to keep them from getting Yard of the Month, which won you a little sign with a cheap blue ribbon to stick in your lawn for thirty days...and yes, I am dead serious.

So these people quickly got between the two lifeguards and sort of herded into two different sides of the pool, in the shallow end, where it was rumored that kids peed all the time.

And so all these pissed off...haha yes, and on as well...people are accusing and denouncing and blaming and shaming. And I started laughing when I realized three key points: One, my brother, who was an endless pain in my ass, and quite likely was one of the culprits, was standing in...ahem...pee soup. Two, there was a mob mentality forming in there, and none of them seemed to notice that they were still in the pool with the accused. Three, I just watched both of those lifeguards, who thought very highly of themselves jump in the pool.

So I was having a chuckle at that memory and it occurred to me that it was very fitting in light of our current, and ongoing, political sh!t show in this country. What I have been watching in horrified fascination is quite similar to what transpired that day at the pool.

If we're a nation, a community, at the pool together, having a nice time without regard to any of the issues that cause division in our country, just folks with their families and friends, minding their business...then we can liken the very clearly corrupt and very clearly both bipartisan and anti American element infesting our government and media and banking system, et al, as the classless people who thought it was OK to piss freely into a community pool instead of going to the restroom like a decent human being who has completed potty training.

So here's how I see it. Just straight up. A clear choice for the people still in the pool.

It does not matter one whit who pissed in the pool. If one person emptied their bladder where the whole neighborhood is swimming, or it was a group effort. It is irrelevant to the larger picture. The pool is now contaminated and must be drained.

You could rope off the pool and stay on the side you think the pissers are not on, but it wouldn't matter because the moment the piss was taken, everyone in the damned pool was already swimming in it...and some even ingesting it. Fun fact. Adults, kids, babies, black, white, Asian, Hispanic, middle eastern. Christian, atheist, Muslim, Buddhist, Jewish, agnostic. Gay, straight, wxyzaeiou and sometimes y, rich, not rich.

Everyone. Suddenly and cruelly thrust from the relative safety of a giant bowl of people soup to the churning, murky waters of uric acid and disappointment, without warning. Bubble popped, buzz killed, puppy slapping, taking candy from a baby disappointment.

Well, what to do? Hmm...let's see...you could stay in the pool, yelling and screaming and milling about, pointing fingers and accusing and trying to count how many of the other side of the pool are turning a guilty shade of pink compared to your side, or which side of the water suddenly looks more cloudy...make those dirty pissers PAY for their dastardly deed. Shame them, blame them...name them.

And it's really not relevant if it is discovered that a couple of people who were caught red-handed pissing over there ended up on your side because they were not invited so they don't count. That is absolutely not your fault that they pretended to be one of you. Clearly they pretended because they are definitely not one of you because you don't allow people like that to fool you into thinking they're anything like you and all your friends who are winners like you and never lose either, and if they do then they weren't really your friends because you were just being nice to them because you felt sorry for them. They're not actually on your side because you don't acknowledge that because you didn't say they could bring their piss over here. Besides, it's only a little piss...the other side has like, many pissers over there, just look at all of those purveyors of piss with their guilty red faces. They're probably STILL pissing over there, the filthy bastards. Once a pisser, always a pisser.

You could do all of that. You could identify and shame and point fingers and scold and threaten and even punch someone and start a brawl; and it might even feel justified and people might consider it perfectly understandable, and you have the right to say your piece because you pay the pool fees and follow the pool rules and hey...clearly there were no actual pissers detected on your side of the pool except for those few that weren't really on your side anyway and so they don't count.

And the side that has to claim more of the accused can get defensive or start bringing other accusations about other things in to justify how it wasn't really such a big deal if it even did happen compared to this.

Everyone could keep score.

Or...everyone could realize that they're all swimming in the same piss. And they could get out of it. And remove the confirmed offenders. And drain the pool and clean it. And refill it with fresh water. For the good of the whole community.

That's it. Just my thoughts on the matter. BB )O(

Could somebody pass me them sweet potatos?

originally posted by: skunkape23

Could somebody pass me them sweet potatos?

Here you go ... * passes potatoes *

Is draining the pool the same as draining the swamp?

I think this is the best analogy I've read for the situation.

I am having a hard time believing your story. How did they know someone pee’d

P.s I have been peeing in pools all my life and never got caught, lol.

P.p.s pools don’t have to be drained for pee, or poo for that matter as per US health department standards.

a reply to: bananashooter

I just had an ephiphany....

the election was like choosing which you would rather swim in a pool with,

piss or chlorine

but now we're swimming in both

I decided a long time ago, if you can’t beat em, join em. a reply to: 0racle

I generally consider my arguments to be self-defense.

I don't want anything from anyone else nor do I want to limit their freedom. Sadly, both Republicans and Democrats want to rob me and limit my rights.

originally posted by: bananashooter
I am having a hard time believing your story. How did they know someone pee’d

P.s I have been peeing in pools all my life and never got caught, lol.

P.p.s pools don’t have to be drained for pee, or poo for that matter as per US health department standards.

I have peed all over the globe... the Persian Gulf, the North Sea, the Gulf of Mexico... peeing is location, location, location...

originally posted by: bananashooter
I am having a hard time believing your story. How did they know someone pee’d

P.s I have been peeing in pools all my life and never got caught, lol.

P.p.s pools don’t have to be drained for pee, or poo for that matter as per US health department standards.

Oh...it didn't matter if they knew for certain. All it took was one kid screaming someone peed in the pool. This was a very long time ago and it's really superfluous whether you believe it or not. I could have made up a fictitious story or used a movie clip or something if I wanted to bother with all that...it's really not relevant to the point.

They drained that neighborhood pool...not really sure they cared about health department standards at a private pool club in a private subdivision in the 1980s. They typically write their own policies...it's not free to get in or open to the public.

Thanks for sharing your disregard for hygiene though. Reminds the rest of us to think twice before visiting a public pool.

originally posted by: rickymouse
Is draining the pool the same as draining the swamp?

In the case of communal swimming pools, I'd have to say it's pretty close.

originally posted by: tigertatzen

originally posted by: bananashooter
I am having a hard time believing your story. How did they know someone pee’d

P.s I have been peeing in pools all my life and never got caught, lol.

P.p.s pools don’t have to be drained for pee, or poo for that matter as per US health department standards.

Oh...it didn't matter if they knew for certain. All it took was one kid screaming someone peed in the pool. This was a very long time ago and it's really superfluous whether you believe it or not. I could have made up a fictitious story or used a movie clip or something if I wanted to bother with all that...it's really not relevant to the point.

They drained that neighborhood pool...not really sure they cared about health department standards at a private pool club in a private subdivision in the 1980s. They typically write their own policies...it's not free to get in or open to the public.

Thanks for sharing your disregard for hygiene though. Reminds the rest of us to think twice before visiting a public pool.

Please say it was a Baby-Ruth.....

a reply to: Metallicus

I'd just like to see people attacking the corruption, which has many faces and is the true enemy, rather than each other. I don't care what party hat they wear. Lock them all up and throw away the key. As long as they remain in power, no one in this country really has any rights or freedom. We're all enslaved.

originally posted by: madmac5150

originally posted by: tigertatzen

originally posted by: bananashooter
I am having a hard time believing your story. How did they know someone pee’d

P.s I have been peeing in pools all my life and never got caught, lol.

P.p.s pools don’t have to be drained for pee, or poo for that matter as per US health department standards.

Oh...it didn't matter if they knew for certain. All it took was one kid screaming someone peed in the pool. This was a very long time ago and it's really superfluous whether you believe it or not. I could have made up a fictitious story or used a movie clip or something if I wanted to bother with all that...it's really not relevant to the point.

They drained that neighborhood pool...not really sure they cared about health department standards at a private pool club in a private subdivision in the 1980s. They typically write their own policies...it's not free to get in or open to the public.

Thanks for sharing your disregard for hygiene though. Reminds the rest of us to think twice before visiting a public pool.

Please say it was a Baby-Ruth.....

Oh no...that would have caused a full on panic.

well the political pool is mostly piss now, politicians only panic when someone tries to add water to it.They like wallowing in that yellow colored water and the ammonia smell.

originally posted by: bluechevytree
well the political pool is mostly piss now, politicians only panic when someone tries to add water to it.They like wallowing in that yellow colored water and the ammonia smell.

Nah...they'll just go buy a $60k wetsuit and a $30k snorkel with their handy dandy slush fund and they'll be right as rain. Safety first.

a reply to: tigertatzen

This was excellent tigertstzen!!

I have to admit, I came here ready to admit I allow peeing in my pool. Ounces vs 30,000 gallons of chemically-active sanitizer and all that. Figured this wad going to be a goofy fun thread lol.

Came away glad your headline roped me in by my less-mature tendencies, because that was fantastic!!

Where is an extension cord and a toaster when you need one.

a reply to: dogstar23

Thank you! And thank you for reading!