A problem is emerging in our social paradigm

Here's a problem.

Women force men to be the aggressors in relationships.

Yes it's true, if you are not aggressive with women you will be alone forever. Also, many many women play this game where even though they want you they pretend they don't. It's a slut (I know this abrasive and I don't slut shame or judge others for their choices but it's the best way to explain this idea) denial defense mechanism. They obviously like you, but they pretend they don't. This weird cat and mouse game that I personally hate can get very confusing and often. I myself have misread women from time to time and went in for a kiss when I shouldn't have and I'm sure most men have as well especially at younger ages.

This extends beyond just informal/ formal interactions in a dating or any other situation involving a man and a woman into the bedroom. I know many women who oddly enough have rape fantasies which kinda irks me, or who like to be thrown around and controlled or hit or choked. It's more common than some of you may think at least among the women I attract. Like I said this can get confusing because it's hard to read people all the time especially people you are getting familiar with on a date for instance. However I would instantly back off and apologize and she would usually forgive me as that would be the end of it and she would realize I was just being a dolt like typical men can be in this situation.

This isn't it though. If I do not engage women or go after them I will never end up in a relationship. Women never engage me they ALWAYS want me to chase them and if I don't I will always be alone.

So here we have an issue. Women force men to be aggressive in multiple ways in multiple situations in relationships weather causal or formal but what seems to be the problem is when a man is aggressive and she doesn't like the man. For instance, I consider myself and attractive man, I am well built handsome and women are usually attracted to me. That doesn't mean we always get along but that means they are more forgiving with me than with let's say someone they consider fat or ugly or annoying.

This is a problem because if women don't want such aggressive men in society and to always be being pursued they need to change this paradigm but stop forcing men to be aggressive in relationships all the time.

I'm not victim blaming or blaming women for situations where they forced against their will to do something or groped or coerced with threat of losing their careers. I'm just pointing out that there is a cultural paradigm emerging where men are aggressive and I think that we need to look at it from both sides.

My question here is, is it possible that if women stop this game of cat and mouse that a by product of this change would be men being less aggressive socially towards women and probably in general?

a reply to: toysforadults

You can't just change the nature of reality that quickly. Base needs will always come first when it comes to male/female relationships.

As much as we try to distance ourselves from it, our nature dictates an awful lot about us. Men chase women because, put simply, that's what men do. Women ignore the attention because there's WAYYYYY more men who will be with any woman than vice-versa.

Instead of becoming angry, find a different approach to dating? Be upfront as tell the woman "Listen, I don't know what current dating etiquette is, but can we do this the old fashioned way"?

Other than speaking on behalf of all women (I'm a man) there's not I can say to this :/

I don't think men would be less aggressive because aggression usually is a mask for something else. Lots of times it's trauma of some kind. Men who are 'annoyed' and lash out and hurt people are feeble minded scum who, let's be honest, the genepool could do without....

a reply to: Joneselius

Yeah I know what their attraction triggers are, I find it very annoying to be honest and the old fashion way just doesn't work.

My question has nothing to do with seeking guidance about dating I'm asking a deeper question than that.

a reply to: toysforadults

The old fashioned way worked for me "I'm 30".

Different women like different things. I find most women who are the way your describe to be very narcissistic and shallow. They love the chase and mystery because they really have no depth, so the longer the guy is guessing the more faux interest she gets.

a reply to: Joneselius

90% of women are not interested in, "Hey how was your day?" conversation it's just how it is.

Also if you don't pursue them it's never going to happen in almost all cases. Yes rarely they will chase you but that's not the majority of the cases that's the exception to the rule.

a reply to: toysforadults

Well some women do tend to go for the bad boys and show no interest in nice men.

Then when their bad boys end up being just bad men they are not so charming.

"Why can't I find a nice guy?"

Cuz you're stupid!

originally posted by: toysforadults
My question here is, is it possible that if women stop this game of cat and mouse that a by product of this change would be men being less aggressive socially towards women and probably in general?

The change is already happening, just not in the way most expected, or wanted.

a reply to: toysforadults

90% of women? I'd like to see some evidence for that....


Internet dating isn't chasing?
You could try a date night?
Speed dating works also?

There's a myriad of ways to court a lady. The chase is exhilarating. Instead of seeing it as a chase where you're always behind and so angry, why not view it as a dance, instead of a conclusion and a destination you simply see where you end up when the music stops?

a reply to: toysforadults


'ToysForAdults' aren't these for the lonely adults that haven't learned how this current game is played??

a reply to: Bluntone22

"Why can't I find a nice guy?"

Ok so you have touched on something that I forgot to mention in the OP thank you. It just so happens that the bad boy is more likely to be the aggressive type who unconsciously flips their attraction mechanisms.

That's where the whole, "why do good girls like bad boys" mentality comes from, the stereotype exist for a reason.

originally posted by: JimNasium
a reply to: toysforadults


'ToysForAdults' aren't these for the lonely adults that haven't learned how this current game is played??

lol...

not necessarily

originally posted by: peck420

originally posted by: toysforadults
My question here is, is it possible that if women stop this game of cat and mouse that a by product of this change would be men being less aggressive socially towards women and probably in general?

The change is already happening, just not in the way most expected, or wanted.

well... I'm not exactly sure that what's happening is representing a change in this philosophy.... can you explain in more detail?

originally posted by: Joneselius
a reply to: toysforadults

90% of women? I'd like to see some evidence for that....


Internet dating isn't chasing?
You could try a date night?
Speed dating works also?

There's a myriad of ways to court a lady. The chase is exhilarating. Instead of seeing it as a chase where you're always behind and so angry, why not view it as a dance, instead of a conclusion and a destination you simply see where you end up when the music stops?

ok great you want to personalize this...

sorry bud not happening! either you can objectively discuss the topic or not up to you... I'm not making this about me or you these ideas not only mine alone trust me this is just how it is

Not all women force the guys to be aggressors. I have known many who have, but also about the same amount that do not like that. So it is partially right, some want the guy to control things, some like a bilateral relationship, and some like to take control. The bilateral relationship group is growing and the other two are shrinking now from what I observe. It has taken many years for this to happen though, slow but sure is the right way.

a reply to: rickymouse

Hmmm, Interesting way of explaining it.

I'm not sold on it changing though especially with women below 30. Is it an age thing?

But underlying question still remains.

Do you think many men have aggressive tendencies towards women due to this paradigm, I mean it seems like an evolutionary trait to me?

a reply to: toysforadults
Could I? Yes.

Will I? Nope.

It has been discussed before, multiple times actually, and every time this change is mentioned it is met with vitriol and disdain.

None of which changes the fact that it is happening, and at rates that are scaring the living # out of most governments.

a reply to: toysforadults
Wait, I thought men being the aggressor was how it has supposed to been since beginning of time?? The problem is male children are being conditioned from birth to lose their masculinity and encouraged to be feminine by the disturbing content writers are now portraying male characters as in childrens movies, tv shows and cartoons. Disney is especially guilty of this.


They frequently portray the male children in their shows as bumbling fools who are either always proven to be stupidly wrong about stuff, or simply being bossed around by the female and corrected frequently on how to properly conduct their day to day. This is leading to an ever increasing rate of homosexuality as the male children are now too introverted and intimidated to initiate contact with the opposite sex due to the programming they spent their entire infancy and childhood being encouraged to emulate the mannerisms of the feminine doofus's portrayed as male.


I think there is a good solution though. All male children should be required to participate in MMA style training starting in middle school to help boost the manliness of our population again. Because we should be grabbing women from behind when they want it (which is more often than one may think), and we need to allow our kids to fight more often. Too many parents freak out when kids start fighting.
My own as an example: Two months ago a little boy from down the street from a troubled household frequently plays with ours. he got mad because he wanted to use the aluminum bat but the fat kid would not let him. So he went after my son and started trying to pound his face in. Of course my boy defended himself and was doing so ok, but the neighbor lady start howling and screaming like if somebody just got murdered. I come out there and the boy runs off and the lady looks like she is about to keel over or have a heart attack or something. She could not calm her # down. I just looked at her and said "what? He has no marks, he got his licks in. Its just boy being boys"


Boys need to fight each other, its how they practice being good defenders for their mates and children in the future. In fact, nearly ALL MAMMAL species on Earth spend time fighting around as youths. If we discourage it, we are cutting off our sons' balls!


But as far as being aggressive for women, just do what I always did. Try and # as many as you can. If you don't try, you won't succeed. And the more you try, the higher your chances. The moment you get rejected just pretend it never happened and move on to the next! There are plenty of women out there ready and willing to receive a good plowing, and eventually if they like it will stick around. If women don't get their orgasm's, they will leave in a heartbeat.

If a woman is not getting at least two to three climax moments in a session, then she may end up cheating and leaving that man. Men, its our duty to make sure our women are enjoying their sessions!

a reply to: worldstarcountry

Yes I get what you are saying and I agree boys should be allowed to fight it's a part of the growing process and how confidence and respect is earned.

My suggestion is more about how women seem to not like aggressive behavior in men unless it's from a man they approve of. If they don't want men to be so aggressive towards them then isn't the obvious solution to stop forcing men to be the aggressor?

originally posted by: toysforadults
a reply to: rickymouse

Hmmm, Interesting way of explaining it.

I'm not sold on it changing though especially with women below 30. Is it an age thing?

But underlying question still remains.

Do you think many men have aggressive tendencies towards women due to this paradigm, I mean it seems like an evolutionary trait to me?

You could have something there, as I got older, I do interact with older people more, so I do not see this as much anymore. When the young hang around a sixty year old guy, they tend to act differently.

How much Testosterone a guy makes governs how he acts. Same with women, when they make lots of estrogen they can either get mushy or bossy. I think social upbringing actually dampens some of those effects of hormones.

a reply to: rickymouse

I'm probably on the higher end of natural testosterone production based on the fact that I was a professional athlete for over 5 years and an athlete since I was 5. I used to be very aggressive in everything from school to work and so on until I consciously changed that. Test plays a major roll in your life as does I'm sure like you stated estrogen in the roll of the opposite.

Do you think we can consciously collectively change this or is it something that can't be changed?