Hospice ...and a Sad Update

a reply to: Kali74

You have my attention and I am here to say you havent lost and you will never lose.

Was the treatment you were given immunotherapy based?

Have they tried Opdivo and Keytruda by chance?

Damn.

I'd been getting worried because I hadn't seen you around lately, and I'd been thinking that was likely not a good thing.

I wish so much I was wrong.

Look. The tension and stress that pain causes can actually inhibit our body's ability to fight on and heal itself. Keep positive and keep fighting mentally and let hospice battle the pain for you. If you can relax and let your body relax, you might find that your ready to get back in the saddle and go another good few rounds at this.

But you are too feisty to give up now! If it's in your mind that you're not ready, then you're not ready, and that's all there is to it.

Know that I am praying for you and take whatever form of kharma from that you will accept. It's too soon to lose your voice here. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know and I'll do what I can.

a reply to: Kali74

So sorry to hear Ms. Kali. Hang on and keep strong! Lots of positive energy your way.

Kali your silence has been deafening, it's true. Many of us have wanted an update, so thank you.
I'm pulling for you and we are all are right here in your corner.

a reply to: Kali74

Kali...
You have literally been in my prayers every night since I found out you were fighting this.
You will continue to be in them.

Sending strength your way. I do hope your body can catch up to your mind. I know how that can be without going into too much detail. But remember the power of the mind and just keep willing yourself positive things, one step at a time. Thinking of you.

a reply to: Kali74

Hospice will give you all the dope you need when feel you've had enough. If you haven't had enough let them know.

I don't think you should beat yourself up over a fight you can't win. If the drugs and chemo are taking you down, die with dignity.

If you want to fight it, that's fine too. But don't consider a quick demise the cowards way out.

Nobody wants to tell somebody to give up, and nobody wants to tell somebody to keep fighting when the beatings continue.

This is hard I know, I saw it with all three grandparents. One fought till the end it was suffering all the way, the other died quicker, and the other was a vegetable for three months on hospice in the living room. I've been through it all.

Whatever choice you make, those around you should respect it. If your pee is orange colored or dark opaque sludgey...chances are your kidneys and liver are shot and your going to die.

Don't sugar coat it...Chemo sucks, drugs suck, they work for some, they don't for others.

Hospice is good about getting the drugs going so you can just get high and die. I know it sounds awful but it doesn't have to be. Before you push for that final fight, get all your closest family and friends, have as many get together as possible.

Then go for the morphine line. It beats sitting in agony. Or you could also refuse food and water, that is relatively painless.

a reply to: Kali74

Positive mojo, thoughts, and prayers for you in your continuing, and ultimately successful, fight against that bastard.

If you're as stubborn in this fight as you are on the boards, cancer doesn't stand an f'n chance.

Need a shoulder, I'm only a PM away.

originally posted by: Kali74
Sounds more ominous than it is or at least than I hope it turns out to be. As many of you know I was diagnosed with an aggressive form of lung cancer in February of 2016, I responded well but it came back. I responded well again to a trial but that quickly became unresponsive and a new trial caused a horrible reaction that I'm still trying to overcome. One that has brought me to hospice.

The overall idea is to strengthen my body to handle chemo but so far we seem to be focusing on pain management that hadn't been an issue until very recently. Sadly, though my mind is still in fight mode, I think my body is about done.

Hi Kali...always fight the good fight no matter. Ive a lot of medical and family experience with hospice. It serves a valuable service to the patient and the families...and is a God-send to many, many of them.

Im not here to expound on its purposes or meanings or value. Im here to support you in any way.... and if it cant be of assurance...Ill pray your days will be easy...and the the sun will shine brightly upon you.

And its never about the destination...but the journey. We all can learn from you...God Bless.

M.S./EMT/Advanced Life Support

a reply to: Kali74

You, dearest Kali, are an ATSer which means you are no where near vanquished yet...

Your mind is your superpower and it is STRONG.

Bless you and LONG may you run.

mark...

so sorry to hear about this... i'll be thinking about you and hoping for the best.

I won’t tell you to fight... because that implies there is winning vs losing in a battle of living vs dying. It’s always well intended when people tell you to fight, but just remember death shouldn’t be equated with losing. Instead, it’s an inevitable homecoming.

ThAnk you so much for sharing the update. I pray for you to have many more moments of comfort and joy. I pray you feel no fear and that you trust God. Jesus brings comfort to all that seek Him.

a reply to: Kali74

oh no! so sorry to hear what you and your family is going through.

best wishes and positive thinking on its wsy for you.

a reply to: Kali74

I'm from a line of ghetto superheroes, I holla
I got something to bring to your attention, attention, attention, attention, attention
I promise you I will never fit in your descriptions, I'm giant
Don't let nobody tell you nothing different, they lyin'
A giant and my body is a building, a building, a building, a building

Much love and all the best wishes, Kali!

a reply to: Kali74

Still thinking of you Kali , positive thoughts are all I can give from this side of the pond but they are heartfelt and sent with love.
keep on, keepin' on.

a reply to: Kali74

I'm sorry. I hope you can get back into fight mode. Good luck.

Lots of love and heartfelt wishes for you, Kali. No matter what happens, you're not alone. So much love and positive energy is being sent to you by so many. Soak it in. And know that even when your time comes -- whether sooner or later -- you will never be alone. There are friends and loved ones who have gone before you that are waiting for you with much love and open arms.

Brightest blessings today and always.

Bo

Firstly, sorry to hear about your current battle. I wish you the very best.
Being a firefighter who runs calls in these types of situations, study your hospice program on what you can and cannot do. Most people don't realize if you ride an ambulance to the hospital for help it can cancel your hospice program. If you really need to go to the hospital make it unrelated to your cancer. A port, feeding tube, possible broke bone, anything other than cancer! Then bring up at the hospital, "oh, yea. While I'm here..".
Just a little advise to keep you from going through even more hell. I believe this was a change under our current Obamacare scam. And I have seen the unchecked DNR order in hospice which was odd but good in my opinion. You have the right to keep fighting.
Best wishes

a reply to: Kali74

It is obvious that no matter what happens,there are a lot of people here,that are in your corner.
Have some comfort knowing how much you matter to so many here and how many of us are pulling for you.

You are in my thoughts and I'm hopeful for the best outcome.

Much love and respect.

a reply to: Kali74

Keep on fighting,and listen to yourself,don't take all their comments as gospel,cancer has taken all my dads family,I wonder about chemo,as was always told radiation can cause cancer,yet they use it to kill cells,this seems redundant to me,my prayers are with you as I'm not too far behind you,not cancer but other issues,lets fight this together,I ended up 5150 in ER from new"medicinal cure",FDA is a farce