Consent, really as simple as a cup of tea

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

You would think it's so simple.
Unfortunately there are still people out there who think that No could still mean Yes.

originally posted by: crayzeed
What a silly analogy. Yes if you think in black and white, but a question to you all.
How many times in your lifetime, even after your married, when you're with a man or woman who you wanted to be with, how many times have you or they asked "do you want sex", "do you want sexual contact" , or any such black and white statement.
I'll be a clairvoyant and say compared to the number of times you've had sexual relations you could probably count the number on one hand.
How many times have you been in a sexually charged clinch with say 90% chance it will end in sex and you say "do you want sex"????? That's like a knife in the back to the moment, except if it was a prostitute. Get a grip people life is not that black and white.

I think it doesn't mean,"do you want sex" literally.
What I have seen, and done myself is using pressure to get what you want. I am just being honest here, when I was a young teen-ager and I had raging hormones things are different, you are normal, but crazy in the head. A horny teen will do what they have to so they can do what they need, it's primal.
I wasn't creepy-like, but ALL of EVERY person I have discussed this with, and ALL of my friends, they ALL were this way, if you weren't, then someone's not telling the truth, or they have a low hormonal problem.
This is something that is not right, but it is a normal function of one's body.

I'm not directly pointing any one person out there, and I am not trying to argue.

originally posted by: z00mster
a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

You would think it's so simple.
Unfortunately there are still people out there who think that No could still mean Yes.

Because in the real world, no does in fact mean yes...sometimes. There are women who still play hard to get on purpose. There is NO and then there is "no, but if you nibble on my ear lobe or kiss my neck just right it will be yes..."

Things aren't always so black and white.

a reply to: Edumakated

For me, "hard to get" means "go screw yourself".

Its a mind game, and I don't participate in mind games. So either the signals are clear and I am desired as much as I desire. Or we part ways because mind games are for high school.

Yes, you are right...there are messed up people who like to play games with others. I can't account for them, so simply stay far, far away.

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: Sheye

Lots of people in power abuse it, it still does not mean you have to do anything you don't feel comfortable with. That is called free will. I know, I have declined many tea "invitations". Many times I was not given rightful promotions, raises etc. Life is not fair. etc. Now that I'm older, I don't regret it one bit. Say no the F'ing tea!!!

Good point... but for some it may mean the difference of their family being homeless at the end of the month because they won't find that second job in time to pay mandatory bills. Many people scrape by living paycheck to paycheck. These individuals can more easily be manipulated by predators because they know how dire the consequences are if they lose their jobs.

originally posted by: Edumakated

originally posted by: z00mster
a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

You would think it's so simple.
Unfortunately there are still people out there who think that No could still mean Yes.

Because in the real world, no does in fact mean yes...sometimes. There are women who still play hard to get on purpose. There is NO and then there is "no, but if you nibble on my ear lobe or kiss my neck just right it will be yes..."

Things aren't always so black and white.

Many women get off on being chased... or hit on ... even when they are in a supposedly monogamous relationship. These type women constantly need their egos stroked. They'll even get pissed if one of their regular " flirts" starts flirting with the single gal next to him.

No, women don't get a pass at every tea party 😕... some are downright selfish egomaniacs with less than moral intentions.

originally posted by: Sheye
Many women get off on being chased... or hit on ... even when they are in a supposedly monogamous relationship. These type women constantly need their egos stroked. They'll even get pissed if one of their regular " flirts" starts flirting with the single gal next to him.

No, women don't get a pass at every tea party 😕... some are downright selfish egomaniacs with less than moral intentions.

sorry, are you trying to say enjoying flirting is equivalent somehow to sexual assault?

I think this video is fantastic. It was shown on TV here in the UK last year

originally posted by: Sheye

originally posted by: UKTruth

originally posted by: Sheye

originally posted by: Edumakated

originally posted by: z00mster
Are you still struggling with the concept of consent?
Then watch this video, it really isn't rocket science

Got it?

So what happens when someone ask you for tea; you make the tea and then they willing drink the tea only to tell you two days later they didn't want tea?

They consented to the tea at the time... but the question is why? Did they feel intimidated to consent ?

Madness.
How could one know????

True enough.. but if the person offering " tea" is the boss.. he should realize that someone may desperately be trying to hold unto the job that feeds their family. Point is.. some in power take advantage of that position and throw a tea party.

Yes, there are situations when tea should not even be offered, as in the case you describe, but also involving minors, teacher/ student relationships etc...

originally posted by: z00mster
a reply to: Shamrock6

Assumptions are the mother of all fckups.
Hence the question: "are you struggling with the concept..?"
If that doesn't apply to you and you don't know anyone who it does apply to, feel free to move along.

The only thing I assume is that things like this are geared towards getting clicks and flags and stars, etc., because anybody old enough to understand what consent is and what isn't consent, but still doesn't get it, likely won't have a light bulb moment thanks to a cute tea video.

Thanks for the permission to move along, but I like it here so I think I'll stay.

a reply to: Shamrock6

You seem triggered.
Why?

a reply to: z00mster

Saying I like being in your thread seems triggered to you?

You seem like one of those people that thinks "triggered" is some sort of insult. Why?

a reply to: MissPronounce

Thanks, I like it too.
I only saw it today and thought it was worth sharing.

Nope ive never struggled with the concept and ive never had a single problem. But then, i dont have any money or anything for anyone to go after, plus i treat women with respect. But i will check out the video later. Thanks for sharing

a reply to: Shamrock6

You seemed triggered to me because you think I posted this to get stars and flags and clicks.
Which is ridiculous.

Take a look at your stats.
Now look at mine.

Yeah, I really am the kind of person to make threads for the sole purpose of stars and flags.

If anything, I tend to shy away from posting stuff.

Anyway, you're welcome to stay

Tea?

a reply to: z00mster

I said "things like this" as in the video, because I think doing something like this to try and explain consent to anybody who would watch this video is nothing more than virtue signalling. I would be stunned speechless to find one person legitimately saying this video explained consent to them and showed them the error of their ways.

Pass on the tea, thanks. Who knows what you might have added to your freaky-deaky Dutch tea.

originally posted by: Edumakated
Because in the real world, no does in fact mean yes...sometimes. There are women who still play hard to get on purpose.

Dear me. "No" means "no". If you interpret that as "yes" then you are fooling yourself. Playing hard to get, and not accepting "no" is not receiving consent.

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

For me, "hard to get" means "go screw yourself".

Its a mind game, and I don't participate in mind games. So either the signals are clear and I am desired as much as I desire. Or we part ways because mind games are for high school.

Yes, you are right...there are messed up people who like to play games with others. I can't account for them, so simply stay far, far away.

Couldn't agree more.

Anyone who tries playing juvenile mind games with you is a big red flag for you to run in the opposite direction as fast as your feet can take you.

They're a nutjob basketcase.

Interactions with nutjobs never ends well.

a reply to: Shamrock6

Pass on the tea, thanks. Who knows what you might have added to your freaky-deaky Dutch tea.

And here I thought you liked 'speshul' tea blends...