Disassociative Identity Disorder- I have a few questions

a reply to: GBP/JPY

i dont understand i reread everything he posted.


sounds like she drifted away from him and was hostile or distant and apparently he broke up with her, but is still infatuated with her?

a reply to: Lucidparadox

The following web site would better address your needs ~

forums.psychcentral.com...

I don't know personally anyone with this disorder so I am not folIowing your directions though I have seen therapists, especially during my divorce, but I will say this; it is very difficult to find a good therapist-they are good in a ratio of about 1:100. Their words arn't God. Be careful.

The one year mark is usually the make or break it point for most relationships. I understand you are very vested in this woman. Going to be the mother you did not ask for-this is not a healthy nor will it ever be a healthy relationship. You have shared enough that the seriousness of just changing personalities and lying to you are deal breakers.

I know it will hurt but the better question to your therapist is why you are so extremely attracted to her knowing this is her personality-seriously a damaged person-you need a healthy relationship. You can still care but why a relationship? Why do you feel the need to be her savior?

Please look at yourself and why the attraction-hopefully, more than physical and the need to be needed; not healthy.

Please take care of yourself-the future with a damaged person leads to misery.

originally posted by: penroc3
a reply to: GBP/JPY

i dont understand i reread everything he posted.


sounds like she drifted away from him and was hostile or distant and apparently he broke up with her, but is still infatuated with her?

You are over analyzing it. This is not an infatuation. This is someone I care about. Yes our relationship is over, I get that, and Ive made my peace. That being said Im going back in my mind through all the events and Im curious about a few things is all. There is alot I didnt post about.. ALOT that would change peoples tunes on this thread but its too much and too personal to put down.

Im asking these questions to get a better understanding.

a reply to: Lucidparadox

okay sorry for over stating it, but why not just let it go.

why are you renting space in your head to someone that's not in your life anymore?

(serious question, not being nasty)

Sounds more like borderline personality disorder to me.

a reply to: Lucidparadox

Sorry about your relationship. This explains it better than your therapist.

a reply to: Lucidparadox

If how you described her led your therapist to throw out DID, then it sounds like ending the relationship was the right thing.

Whether she actually has DID or not.

originally posted by: penroc3
a reply to: Lucidparadox

okay sorry for over stating it, but why not just let it go.

why are you renting space in your head to someone that's not in your life anymore?

(serious question, not being nasty)

Im relatively young.. late 20s.. but I have been in alot of long term relationships.

I was engaged at 17..

Ive gone from a 2 year, to a 4 year, to a 1.5 year, to a 4 year, now to a 1 year relationship... most of those relatuonships with only weeks or maybe a month or 2 in between. Most of them we have lived together and been completely engrained.

I know myseld pretty well when It comes to how I feel about someone.

This girl was completely different. There was something almost suoernatural about the connection. Something I hadnt felt since that first one when I was engaged at 17.

It occupies space in my mind because I care. I care deeply. I want nothing but the best for this person, and if that means having me out og the picture so be it. That being said, it doesnt mean you can simply erase someone and oretend they never existed. True, real, deep feelings still exist to the core. I love the person that they are through good and bad.

So even if they are no longer a part of my life, a part of them is still.with me, and the experiences that formed those parts still matter.

a reply to: Lucidparadox

Do to crazy life citcumstances, she had to move away. However we kept things going long distance. The thing is however, she hid alot.of things from me, and he personality would change often. Her stories and recollections would also change.

I wonder if she could be concealing drug addiction? That would explain disappearances, personality changes, diminished memory, etc.

Just a thought.

a reply to: Lucidparadox

I'm 33 and recently divorced from my wife because she has a serious drug and drinking problem and I wanted something more for my life.

I know it sucks seeing someone you love go down a troubled road, but if she really has this mental condition or another one, it sounds very serious.

She need to help herself before you can help her, if you two got back together before she sorted self out then you'll be right back here but even more hurt.

It's okay to not be in a relationship with someone for awhile, it took me a while to realize that. You need to work on your self to be the best, strong person you can be.

And if she does get the help and is doing what she needs to do(including your self) to be healthy than maybe you guys can give it another shot.

I

Take this time to reflect if that is something you really want, take a few weeks and think about it before you answer that question

Disassociative identity disorder and multiple personality disorder are two different things.

When faced with extremes, pain, fear, etc, our brains have a neat way of blocking it all out because acknowledging it would affect our behavior to the point we may not be able to function. This is well in excess of fight or flight. If the trauma is severe enough or repetitive enough the block can be longer duration or repeat as often as the mind feels it needs to. One of the differences between DID and MPD is that with MPD the personalities are clearly defined. With DID the personality displayed can be transient depending on the mood, conditions, surroundings, etc, at the time of the incident. Each with a special knack for a certain set of circumstances. That association is known only by the person experiencing it - if they even understand the connection. They may not even be aware of the change at all. To them, it may be a perfectly natural way to deal with a given set of events.

A mind having experienced anguish so great as to fracture the very nature of its function is a fragile and delicate thing. I would tread very lightly and leave this to professionals who have the best chance of making any progress.

Good luck to you.

originally posted by: Vroomfondel
Disassociative identity disorder and multiple personality disorder are two different things.

When faced with extremes, pain, fear, etc, our brains have a neat way of blocking it all out because acknowledging it would affect our behavior to the point we may not be able to function. This is well in excess of fight or flight. If the trauma is severe enough or repetitive enough the block can be longer duration or repeat as often as the mind feels it needs to. One of the differences between DID and MPD is that with MPD the personalities are clearly defined. With DID the personality displayed can be transient depending on the mood, conditions, surroundings, etc, at the time of the incident. Each with a special knack for a certain set of circumstances. That association is known only by the person experiencing it - if they even understand the connection. They may not even be aware of the change at all. To them, it may be a perfectly natural way to deal with a given set of events.

A mind having experienced anguish so great as to fracture the very nature of its function is a fragile and delicate thing. I would tread very lightly and leave this to professionals who have the best chance of making any progress.

Good luck to you.

Thank you for your response. This is great insight given the many circumstances Im aware of in this situation.

originally posted by: Justso
I don't know personally anyone with this disorder so I am not folIowing your directions though I have seen therapists, especially during my divorce, but I will say this; it is very difficult to find a good therapist-they are good in a ratio of about 1:100. Their words arn't God. Be careful.

The one year mark is usually the make or break it point for most relationships. I understand you are very vested in this woman. Going to be the mother you did not ask for-this is not a healthy nor will it ever be a healthy relationship. You have shared enough that the seriousness of just changing personalities and lying to you are deal breakers.

I know it will hurt but the better question to your therapist is why you are so extremely attracted to her knowing this is her personality-seriously a damaged person-you need a healthy relationship. You can still care but why a relationship? Why do you feel the need to be her savior? Please look at yourself and why the attraction-hopefully, more than physical and the need to be needed; not healthy.

Please take care of yourself-the future with a damaged person leads to misery.

This is an excellent question.

I do have an answer. I am not attracted to being "needed" I dont think, nor do I have a strong desire to be a savior simply for the ego boost.

I have been in alot of long term relationships. Over time I have learned what it is in a person, at their core that I really want and really value. My previous long term relationship (4 years) was a woman who was very needy, very damaged, very manipulative, and controlling.In that relationship I was being a "savior" so I know what that is like. I had to get out of that. Also I realized I did not like that woman as a person, she was very selfish, she had no empathy for others, and treated her child very poorly (actually ended up, after I left getting her child taken away from her). This woman that I have written about in this thread has some struggles, and a past, however she is polar opposite in every way. She is extremely empathetic. She constantly helps other people in need and is almost a guardian angel or a guide for others going through tough times. Shes incredibly strong. She put a smile on my face with a simple "good morning." She is intelligent, benevolent, and works hard. She makes me see things... details in life and in others I wouldnt.. she peaks my curiosity constantly. Also, when we were together... and she parroted this... there was a very strange, almost supernatural connection. Insanely deep, with alot of emotion... even buried in the crust of our relationship. Shes the type of person I am proud to tell people I know let alone know that I am with. She is someone I would want to build with, she is also incredibly beautiful. So its not her situation that attracts me, its her, its who she is. She is the type of person so rare these days, Im almost drunk off it. I would look past almost anything. Which is how I sort of got this far in this predicament.

a reply to: Lucidparadox

It sounds like you are still seeing her with stars in your eyes. You don't see her as a human; more as a God-like presence and a fated relationship. This is hard. You have placed her on a pedestal and your relationship as one in a movie.

You need a person outside your relationship for confidential recommendations that you can trust. I only wish you the best and the ability for clarity.

a reply to: Lucidparadox

Bit remiss for the therapist to even attempt to diagnose by proxy.

DID is generally viewed as a trauma related disorder. But so is Borderline PD. PTSD is of course. Could also be complex PTSD.

Who knows :/

originally posted by: Vroomfondel
Disassociative identity disorder and multiple personality disorder are two different things.

Not true. The DSM relabelled MPD as DID as it present a clearer more specific designation of the underlying issues.

I can't answer any questions....but you are better off without her. Even if it doesnt feel like it.

a reply to: melatonin

That, and MPD is somethimg psychology is pretty skeptical of as it seems more like a personality disorder.