Domestic division of chores - who does more?

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: nonspecific
I would have assumed that a man in your position would have a lowly paid minority type person to do that type of menial work for you?

The wife and I role play this one. I wait in front of the Home Depot and then she pulls up, asks me to shovel the roof and then promises to pay me after.

Let me guess?

she has no cash on her right?

a reply to: butcherguy

You've likely already tried, but your daughter should do more. At the very very least - her own laundry.

I taught my son how to cook (basics) when I grounded him for a week at 15. He's always been very appreciative about that.

originally posted by: nonspecific
Let me guess?

she has no cash on her right?

Dude, are you spying on us?

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: nonspecific
Let me guess?

she has no cash on her right?

Dude, are you spying on us?

Only when its been snowing heavy.

originally posted by: nonspecific
Only when its been snowing heavy.

You may also want to check out 'master/slave' night and 'am I cheating on you if you're wearing a blonde wig' night.

originally posted by: snowspirit
a reply to: butcherguy

You've likely already tried, but your daughter should do more. At the very very least - her own laundry.

I taught my son how to cook (basics) when I grounded him for a week at 15. He's always been very appreciative about that.

Yes, I take the fact that they don't cook as a compliment to my cooking. They can cook, they would just rather have me cook it.
My daughter is just messy when it comes to anything in the house (except for her room, she does keep that clean and orderly). She can't put sugar in a cup of tea without getting it all over the kitchen counter. If she pours a glass of milk, I know that she did it, because there will be dribbles of milk in a string 6 inches long trailing away from where the cup was when she poured it.

originally posted by: Kentuckymama
Been married 17 years. Three kids. He works. A lot. I do everything else. Cooking, cleaning, nursing babies, changing diapers, feeding animals, mowing grass, yard work, home maintenance, paying bills. It's my job. He brings home the money so I can.

I admit to never nursing babies. They were breastfed and I couldn't do that.
Kudos to you for all that you do.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

How in the world did you manage to get bullet points in your post?!?!?!?!?

a reply to: Skywatcher2011


[ list ] [ * ] [ /list ]

Take out spaces.

Please send $5.50 to my address.

originally posted by: Kentuckymama
Been married 17 years. Three kids. He works. A lot. I do everything else. Cooking, cleaning, nursing babies, changing diapers, feeding animals, mowing grass, yard work, home maintenance, paying bills. It's my job. He brings home the money so I can.

That's how my wife and I roll. I work and take care of the finances. I keep the yard handled and the cars maintained. She does all the running of the house. I cook when I want a specific thing she wont eat. Works great for us. I'm wiped when I get home and it's nice to not have to do #. I recognize taking care of the house and getting the youngling to school is a full time job. When I left this ace for a few months she got a part time 2nd shift job cause I was making less.
It #in sucked man. We both hated it.

a reply to: bgerbger

It sounds like your family has it worked out pretty well, congrats!

In my home, my boyfriend works full-time and I only work about 20 hours a week (plus occasional volunteering shifts when I can). So he does practically nothing domestic-wise beyond making himself a midnight snack. I do all the cleaning, shopping, finances, child-rearing, planning (doctors, activities, etc.), and try to cook when I can.

All-in-all, I know I shouldn't complain. I know I put more than 20 hours into all of those things every week but it's at home, where I like to be so, in my eyes, it's pretty even. He thinks I'm a goddess and I get to wear my pajamas while I do my chores... I'd say that's a win-win.

My partner and I have a weeeirdly "traditional" household considering neither of us are "traditional" people.

Since the baby came (I did ALL the work; he remained calm, even when our girl turned into a boy who needed some extra care.) he goes to work, and I stay home. My maternity leave just ended, and I couldn't find a suitable babysitter, so I decided to ...just keep staying at home with the baby.

I cook, clean, do 90% of the baby work, do the shopping, garden, take care of pets, find time to shower, organize trash/recycling/compost, etc.
That being said, our house is under a never ending renovation and is borderline impossible to clean. I did my best. Our bathroom is completely renovated and spotless (usually, except when his mother comes over... every damn time. )

He works A LOT as an electrician, and also does all of the renos to the house himself, he gardens, puts oil in the furnace/stacks wood pellets, builds fanciful wooden things like foot stools & desks & chicken coops on a whim, does 10% of the baby work, plays with pets, showers daily, picks me up when I think I want a night out but actually don't.

It's a good system. Could be better, but that's mostly on me!

*Sigh*

Reading these bums me out. When I was married, I worked 50+ hours a week, was on call at night, and had to do EVERYTHING. His job consisted of sitting on his behind in front of the computer, looking at porn, and waiting for me to get home so he could get a little. He couldn't even finish mowing the lawn, he would do half of it, say it's too hot, and then go inside leaving it half finished.

As you may have guess, I divorced him. There was no point in being married to a ghost who only shows up for sex.

At least now my roomie does half the housework. For the first time in my life, I don't have to do it all. My kids are long grown now. I remember missing out on so much of their childhood because I had too much to do.

It's nice to see the younger generation sharing chores. I curse 'women's liberation' that made it necessary for me to go out into the workplace but still do all the chores at home, because, let's face it.....in my generation, the women changed, the men did not.

Gotta go now....one of the cats took a radioactive dump that's smelling up the place, and he refused to cover it. Always a slave to something!

In my house...

I do most of the cooking and kitchen chores, including washing-up and most of the shopping. I also do most of the gardening and DIY. I also sort out the family holidays.

My darling wife and Nest of Vipers does most of the organising, whether anyone pays her any attention, or not. She does most of the cleaning and hoovering. She deals with social commitments and is main school liaison.

It works. That's what counts. Finding the balance.

We're a commuter family, so most of our heavy stuff gets done on Sunday.

Our aim is to get the house into a place where it mostly goes on auto-pilot through the week with minimal maintenance.

I have an hour or two most afternoons to get a bit done, but that includes errands.

And thankfully kiddo is getting old enough to start helping some, but most Sundays we still have to nag him into doing his part.

a reply to: bgerbger

Husband and I have a pretty even split in chores. He works a lot, so I do most of the cleaning, yard work etc. I do 99% of the cooking, but he will bring dinner home anytime I ask, and also makes breakfast every Saturday morning. I do 100% of the finances, I once even purchased a house for us before he even saw it in person. That always shocks people, but I would trust him to do the same. We both have similar tastes, goals and risk tolerances. We've been married almost 20 years, and chores have shifted over time but we both have great respect for each other and try to help each other out. I see that lacking in a lot of relationships with problems, there is a selfishness. I also think that one person can't be high strung and the other lazy because that will never work, you both have to be lazy or both have to be have the same work ethic. As a mom, one of the things I appreciated most about my husband regarding chores, is how much he helped when our kids were babies. Now that we are both older, if neither one wants to do something we can just pay someone else to do it, that is truly a luxury!

In my house there are only adults and we each clean up after ourselves.
The messiest among us end up cleaning more.

a reply to: bgerbger

Surprise her by working less and treating her like you did when you dated. There's never going to be an even split in chores, but try to help each other to even things out.

I will let you in on a secret. Women WANT to do more chores than men, they secretly love having to complain about the men not doing enough around the house- this is a fact. A man can do more around the house and a woman would love it for a couple days but then she would feel like she had a girlfriend and would probably start looking for another man

originally posted by: thepixelpusher
a reply to: bgerbger

Surprise her by working less and treating her like you did when you dated. There's never going to be an even split in chores, but try to help each other to even things out.

Thanks for the unsolicited advice which has no relevance to anything I mentioned in the thread.

Just curious, you seem like you're about 12. Have you ever had a girlfriend/boyfriend?