Tired of gym/fitness phobia!

Look, I don't want to generalize, but here's the story:

I had to be reasonably fit for a long time, but I joined a gym last year, and I'm starting to get some good results.
I'm not a health nut (I smoke and drink weekly, but not always), I'm HIV-positive (which actually got me into gym on the doctor's orders) and I'm over forty.
So, I realize I'm not going to be Mr. Universe, no matter what I do.
Since I joined gym I got a lot of compliments (as far as one still has a social life after forty these days).
But then you also get the absolute venom.

And I wonder, why all these haters since I go to gym?
The one guy, for example, comments on my Facebook photo: gym crap makes him want to puke.
He claims to be totally progressive though.
But it's OK to insult my hobby - why?
I never insulted anybody else.

Perhaps gym can become a kind of a cult, or new focus in life.
But I think that's because the people around you who don't gym start to reject you.
And honestly - I think a lot of it has to do with jealousy.
And it can't just be a financial thing.
If you got money to blow all year on booze and tobacco and whatnot, you can find a gym.
If you got time to lay on your butt after work for hours and watch crap, you can make it to gym.
Not that I'm saying you should, but don't treat me like I'm oh-so privileged because I do go.

Suffice to say though, if I was a really overweight person now I'd get more positive feedback.
Just don't go to gym and get fit.
Then you must be "vain".
Yeah the social discrimination is real.
You can have any hobby, just don't make your body your hobby.

But the good news is, I've also started to care less and less what they think.
I'm smaller than most guys in gym, but more powerful already than the average guy on the street.
Why should I care what people think whom I only see on birthdays? And if anybody has a problem with me they're welcome to come and see me personally.
But what I really want to say to a lot of them is: don't knock something until you tried it.
Come with me some day!

But to sum up, yeah the fitness/gym phobia is real, and like most despised groups in society you won't actually notice it exists until you join that group.
And oh yeah, don't call yourself a "progressive liberal" if you're into fat-acceptance (personally I have no problem with it) and all kinds of gratuitous acceptance, but "gym stuff makes you puke".

I loved turning forty because I felt like I had really reached an age of easily ignoring life's unsolicited commentators ... opinions of others simply don't matter to me unless its the opinion of my husband. I've also never done social media-so that helps.

I'm into fitness and healthy eating. People do get weird about it, but that is a reflection of them and not me. Really out of shape people seem to be more opinionated on what I'm eating or not eating. Same group also seems confused as to why a fit woman would "need" exercise "religiously" (um... sigh)

Good for you in taking charge of your health!

I have an in-home personal trainer and equipment that I use in an extra room in my home. I refuse to go to the gym because of all the idiots that go there that give you that look of 'why are you here'. I am over 50 so I am not in perfect shape and I can't run 5+ miles anymore, but I still want to be healthy.

A lot of these people don't understand those of us that just want to work out to be healthy. I don't give a crap about having a beach bod I just want to not die.

Hey bro, where do you get your protein shakes bro?

JK, it's the male opposite of skinny shaming women

My GF gets sick of it too. You have to rise above it.

Damn, where do you work out, KFC?

Freedom and tolerance for everybody!

After all, this ain't Kuwait.
It's lift weight!

No, but seriously where I go, it's not at all what I thought it would be.
There's fat people, thin people, body-builders, pensioners - all kinds of people.
Nobody looks at anyone else funny or judgmentally.
It's actually a very accepting scene - much more so than general society.

Gym really is almost like a cult where I live. The looks you get directed at you and the passive aggressive comments if you're not ripped/in-shape are disconcerting and it hardly encourages anyone to go there to start on the path to getting fit.

Back when I was in college and for a few years after, I chose to do aerobic classes instead. The teachers were wonderful and the other members were just your average people wanting to be healthy.

Now, it's like you have to already be in shape to go to the gym. Otherwise, you don't belong.

Good for you in continuing on your pathway though. I really need to do so myself. Some day!

a reply to: halfoldman

The FB guy should stop looking at what makes him puke.

"Hey babe, your dinner's ready down here!"

"Gimme a couple more minutes honey, I'm looking for people to annoy me and I haven't quite got there yet. Nearly there now. So close. Oh oh oh here we go. Vegetarian in a gym!? Ahhh yeah. Ohhh yeah. [typing message] Ugly people should NEVER go to the gym! You sicken me. Get a life. So sad.[send message] Okay honey I'm coming...."

The thing is everyone in a gym has a personal goal and willpower to improve themselves. In contrast, your FB friend's *goal* is aimed at pissing other people off. Who's the better human being?

a reply to: Subrosabelow

Gyms can vary widely, but have you tried going?

I used to think the same - you have to be fit, or people will look at you funny.

But it wasn't true at all when I tried.

In fact, only a fraction are fit, or even bodybuilding.
Was next to a Muslim lady in a hijab on the treadmill this week, and nobody is hyper-fit.

Funny, I used to think the same.

The only person I sometimes stare at is this pensioner lady.
She must be in her seventies.
She obviously has OCD or something, because every machine she rubs down with a cloth at least three times before using it.
She doesn't care though, she takes her time.
More like a feather dusting.
I just think it's kinda interesting.
But she's part of the crew.
Now life wouldn't be the same without seeing her.

Although I don't want to compare it to any music or counter-cultural scene, it is a little bit like that.

You're gonna pooh-pooh it till you try it.

Well, it definitely is a scene.

Wednesdays all the ladies (mainly) have the cycling class and aerobics, and the whole gym is pumping.

Everybody is doing something.

The guys are spotting, the ladies are cycling, everybody's pumping something.
But some are also hanging out and talking.
I find it almost tribal.

Even if you're on you're own you feel connected to everybody.
Unless you come for classes or get a personal trainer, the basics are very simple.

I find attitudes to fitness to be really weird. I blame part of it on social media that constantly bombards people with heavily doctored images of fitness models spruiking bs products...

I'm close to the wrong side of 40, and have had a spare 15-20kg to lose for quite a number of years. I realised about 18months ago that I really enjoy lifting, added benefit it helps me get healthier. I don't really talk about fitness at all anymore with alot of friends/workmates because I found literally everyone I spoke to focused entirely on the negative (still fat, still can't run a marathon, can't eat like a normal person, always eating, lifting is pointless, how's the steroids going?, why would you wanna be a meathead bro, lol can you even run? etc).

There's definitely cargo cults in the fitness world, you just have to learn how to filter out the background noise and "do you". I feel sorry for people that can't tune out, they'd be forever trying to chase unobtainable goals and bouncing between the latest thing random-fitness-model-on-social-media has told them they should care about..

I see this come up so often and I honestly don't know where the idea came from or why it's so wide-spread. All those people you see at the gym? The giants lifting small cars as a "warm up exercise", the cardio bunnies that have been going non-stop on the treadmill for the last hour, the guy in the corner with abs you could cut a diamond on.. they're all just people. They all came to the gym one day because they decided they didn't want to be fat/skinny/unhealthy anymore. They put in the hard yards, and continue to put them in so they can maintain or improve their current level of health. They aren't something to be afraid of, they should be a source of inspiration, living proof that with time and patience you're going to be able to achieve whatever your fitness goal is. If you walk into a gym and you do get laughter and criticism, then it's not a good gym and you should find a better place that's not full of idiots.

I mean when I came last year, I wasn't completely unfit.
I did work out at home, and sometimes for work.
Skipping, lite weights (5kgs), some push-ups and stuff.

When I came to gym I could push 10kgs maximum.
Now I'm doing 40kgs.

I don't go every day, so still got my 10kg weights I use on my off days.

A lot of people start doing a bit at home before setting a foot in a gym.
I guess like you must brush your teeth before going to the dentist.
Nothing wrong with that.

Although it's a bit a stupid, considering for R2000 a year you have a fully equipped gym.

originally posted by: Subrosabelow
Gym really is almost like a cult where I live. The looks you get directed at you and the passive aggressive comments if you're not ripped/in-shape are disconcerting and it hardly encourages anyone to go there to start on the path to getting fit.

Back when I was in college and for a few years after, I chose to do aerobic classes instead. The teachers were wonderful and the other members were just your average people wanting to be healthy.

Now, it's like you have to already be in shape to go to the gym. Otherwise, you don't belong.

Good for you in continuing on your pathway though. I really need to do so myself. Some day!

I've had so many gym junkies come work for me over the years and they all were pathetic. They all looked good but we're not fit, gym fit and actual fitness are not the same.

Gym junkies have no stamina, they are good for short bursts, any more than that and they fail miserably. Just because you look fit does not mean that you are.

a reply to: halfoldman

I tried working out at the gym awhile back. Just wasn't my cup of tea. Working out for me is comparative to what meditation is for others. I don't understand why someone would be upset that you workout at the gym. Why is it anyone's business but your own?

Funny, I was just looking this up yesterday for some writing I'm doing. Some interesting facts I found: 9-12% of all gym memberships are purchased in the month of January. 80% of those people quit working out after 5 months. Women tend to bail quicker/more often than men. The average gym member age is 40. 45 million Americans have a gym membership. A gyms membership usually is way more than the amount of people it's facility can hold (one gym had 6000 members, it's facility could only hold 300 people, max capacity).

Anyhow, glad to see that you're not letting the naysayers bother ya too much.

Thanks,
blend57

I am 40 this year. And joined the gym 2 months ago. With all the vitamins and protein and stuff. My beer belly going down and my natural ‘sexy mon’ shape comming back. Very noticeably. I am on strict healty diet with one cheat day. But smokes and drinks.

Friends thinks i am silly. Wife thinks i am cheating on her. kids thinks i am embarrassing.

But frankly my dear I don’t give a toss. Sexy mon is back. I am hear to stay.



Ps... And did I mention the increased attention from local milfs? 😂😂😂


One life.. live it!

a reply to: hopenotfeariswhatweneed

What's your definition of fitness, or method then?

But I agree to a point.

Even in gym, there's a huge clash between "cardio" (say running, and also cycling).

But then most guys especially also want the strength training.

The two don't really mix that well.

You can run off your muscle gains, or you can build huge muscles and stop running, and look like a big egghead who can't even walk up a hill.

I was actually supposed to go because of the cardio - running and cycling.
ARVs (HIV medication) can cause heart-attacks long-term, so it was to get me a strong heart.
But runners rarely have big muscles.
So one must choose a bit.

At first getting back into the running got me addicted.

I went down from 78kgs to 70 very quickly.

Started with a walk, and then it was 2.4 kilometers in under 15 minutes.
I couldn't do that in high school, and struggled in the army.
Now I could do this (surprisingly fast), and then it went to 3.4 kilometers.

But then everybody said, you look like you come from a prison camp.

I wondered, why am I here?
Considering our crime situation in SA you also want to be a bit intimidating.
Especially as I'm responsible for other people now.
So, I had to cut back on the running.

But I know, a lot of the bulky guys aren't that fit if you put them to a running or walking test.

When someone takes control of one aspect of their life it causes others around them to question themselves. Taking charge of personal fitness in particular causes the lazy and indolent, and greedy fat people to self examine and not like what they find. This manifests in lashing out in the hope that this might cause you to stop making them feel bad about the their disgusting lifestyle.

Take it as the massive compliment that it is and be under no doubt that this confirms that you are doing something good for the very best of reasons.

a reply to: halfoldman

Gyms are a scam.

You can do everything they do at home without the monthly fees. Why pay 20 bucks a month to use a treadmill when you can go jogging for free? Buy some weights and running shoes that way you can work out without being surrounded by narcissistic douchebags.