The truth behind ATS

Dear ATS,

I don't know how to say this so I will just say it. What I saw last night shocked me to the core. I still wonder if I didn't dream it all... I realise the following tale will be for most of you an unbelievable one but I cannot contain it any longer and if only for my own soul, I must tell it here.

ATS and it's owners would have you believe that the revenue they generate is used to finance vacations for the owners and Mods in the Bahamas and other far-flung places, drinking cocktails and relaxing in the sun. Unfortunately, nothing could be further from the truth. Again, I cannot stress enough how hard it's been for me after seeing what I've seen but before I get accidentally suicided with no logical explanation, my tale.

As last evening progressed I urgently needed to make use of the bathroom facilities so I desperately started opening random doors looking for the men's room. I found a door I had never seen before and opened it. No toilet on the other side was to be found, nothing but a long corridor. The corridor led to another door and then to a set of steps carved into what appeared to be bedrock. Walking even quicker with a fuller bladder I descended the steps to be confronted by a locked iron gate. I could hear the sound of screams and clanking chains in the distance which was bad enough, but on the iron gate was a large sign painted in what appeared to be blood. It said: "Forbidden entry to unauthorised personnel!" The lock was easy to pick, being old and rusty. One good kick and it just broke. My bladder was bursting by now...

I was now so desperate to use a toilet that I just kept going and then I saw the painful reality of ATS, at which point all the contents of my bladder just seemed to retreat back into my body. I'm sure everyone knows some of the more prominent but now non-present members that used to post a lot. People interested in Mars rocks, alien craft and all things spacey among other things conspiratorial? Well, some of those "banned" members never really left. Not all of them anyway. A Hotel California, if you will.

They are chained to a wall in cells in the dungeon underneath our very feet for their and our safety apparently, awaiting the necessary funds to facilitate their permanent residence in mental homes. Each cell has a name posted outside. I may not mention the names. Some patients were babbling incoherently, some were screaming, some were dribbling over the floor with a blank look in their eyes and one or two were just rocking quietly back and forth, all awaiting their next meal. (I won't mention the guy who was spreading another cell-mates' excrement over his own body!) It was a very sad sight to see indeed. I guess sometimes people can't handle the truth and when all is finally revealed, some people go mad.

Please, ATS, help these members. Do not alert a Mod to this thread, it will be shut down immediately. Do donate to ATS to facilitate the rehabilitation of our fallen brothers and sisters. A packet of Ramen and an extra tin-foil hat really does go a long way to keeping them safe and sound. Every little helps.

Thank you on behalf of the fallen!

Nothing to see here folks, move along.

Pay no attention to the wails of desperation coming from the dungeon.

a reply to: LightSpeedDriver

Some crazy woman told me ATS is run by "romans"

Faux immortals that use this site to gather knowledge for its master to dissect.

Lol.

There is always hope. Light finds its way.

I always wondered what those dungeons were used for. I thought perhaps Augustus was using them when his was full.

I've been temporarily sent to those dungeons before. I haven't been the same since, and NO, I don't want to talk about it....

a reply to: LightSpeedDriver

You can have my adblock when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.

quintana roo ?

I see the new hologram is working quite well.

MUHAHAHA.

a reply to: LightSpeedDriver

This is something I would expect from the 3 idiots on one
of their "play" threads!

Thanks for all the support and I'm glad you enjoyed it. (Walks away blushing...)

It was fun to write. ATS can lead in all directions.

We are watching.

Always.

originally posted by: CreationBro
Some crazy woman told me ATS is run by "romans"
.

Something like that.

Yes yer 'onour. I was minding my own business after having posted a completely fabricated story about imaginary banned members when a Mod and a Mason showed up. At first I felt appreciated but I soon realised the purpose of their visit was not one of "Brotherly Fraternity".

I don't remember much but there were badges and flashing lights and Pinafore's and some kind of hypnotic handshake they all seemed to know. And then? No sir, I woke up the next day fully clothed and intact. Basement? No, AM couldn't be bothered to drag me that far, from what I can recall from the drunken conversations I can remeber that night.

Thank you yer 'onour...

a reply to: LightSpeedDriver

You said you wouldn't talk about this.....tsk-tsk.

:pulls out hypo and neuralizer:

Someone hold LightSpeedDriver down please..........

a reply to: LightSpeedDriver

I know where the fallen are.

We have created our own secret members only group.

Only those that have been banned need apply.

originally posted by: eriktheawful
a reply to: LightSpeedDriver

You said you wouldn't talk about this.....tsk-tsk.

:pulls out hypo and neuralizer:

Someone hold LightSpeedDriver down please..........

Uh oh Driver, this doesn't look good. Ruuuun! Run away!

originally posted by: seagull
We are watching.

Always.

But...but, I'm in my jammies.

a reply to: Night Star

Oh, sorry...

*blush*

(((ahem)))

We're almost always watching...

Were those kittens??

originally posted by: eriktheawful
a reply to: LightSpeedDriver

You said you wouldn't talk about this.....tsk-tsk.

:pulls out hypo and neuralizer:

Someone hold LightSpeedDriver down please..........

You just triggered my PTSD. Thanks a lot pal.

a reply to: LightSpeedDriver
Startling, was under the impression that Above Network LLC was experimenting with AI algorithm on the forum, explaining the numerous members that seem to only produce empty rhetoric, like talking to the ELIZA program...