The Astronaut [AAM2017]

I often find myself somewhere lost within a deep state of trance, slowly drowning in an ever expanding sea of my own thoughts, resisting the war against my own conscience for the sake of my own sanity, sinking deeper and deeper down into the abyss as the burdens I bear continue to weigh on me. And before you know it, a couple of centuries have come and gone before the stark realization that I'm still here hits me and I snap back to reality. What is time to somebody who can outlast it? What is life to somebody who isn't living? Answers I can't seem to find, to questions I can't seem to escape. I've become a prisoner of my own thoughts, but such is the reality when you're the last of your kind with the fountain of youth in your pocket.

I've witnessed stars manifest from absolutely nothing before dwindling back into obscurity. I've watched tiny organisms evolve into full sentient beings that eventually become too intelligent for their own good. I've seen Mother Nature at her best, when she's painting the most beautiful picture imaginable, and I've see Mother Nature at her worst, when she takes it all away in a blink of an eye. I've seen the rise and fall of civilizations, from wars waged on nothing but love, to wars waged on nothing but hate. I've learned that nothing lasts forever because nothing is supposed to. I've witnessed every single beginning eventually reach its end.

I was warned about the price I would have to pay, but I was far too naive to fully grasp what I was truly getting into. This is not what I signed up for and not what I imagined, for I am now but a shell of the person I once was. My heart is a barren wasteland as bleak as the universe itself and the convictions I once adhered to has now been depleted along with my soul. My reason now, is for no reason at all.

But yet here I am, on yet another planet, just trying to make sense of my being and purpose. This planet is quite beautiful, lush green as far as the eyes can see, huge mountains that peak over the horizon, incredibly vast oceans that seperate the lands and a clean atmosphere that creates a beautiful blue sky. It's unlike anything I've ever seen, and there is an abundance of life here all thriving off one another. This place is full of potential.

I am currently being surrounded by a group of creatures that look eerily similar to me, almost as if I'm looking into a mirror, they don't speak any language, but they do seem quite intelligent as they nervously and curiously circle around me. Timid as they are, they slowly inch closer and closer as they realize I am not here to harm them. I reach into my pocket and pull out my elixir along with a tiny seed, I drop to my knees and scoop out a small pile of dirt, I place the seed inside and cover it back up as I pour a droplet of my elixir over the soil. Almost instantly the creatures are taken aback as the sensation overwhelms them. My job here is done.

These creatures continue to watch me in awe as I slowly rise back up to the skies, their eyes glimmer off the sunlight and twinkle as if something revolutionary has sparked inside of them. It's in these moments that I am quickly reminded of why I chose to do this. But I've been through this before, so as short lived as this will be, I continue to tell myself this is what makes it all worth it. I've just witnessed yet another beginning and begin to envy their inevitable end. The circle of life. Is life still a life without an end?


Seeing as how I signed up for an eternity, an eternity can't come any sooner...


The End.

a reply to: knowledgehunter0986

I got really into your early paragraphs, then images of the opening scenes of Prometeius came into mind and I lost track.

a reply to: Aliensun

Thanks for reading

Like this one...a lot

a reply to: cosmickat

Thanks for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

a reply to: knowledgehunter0986

Nice one!

Fun fact, I read this at a truck stop at 2am. Driving home from vacation. Good read before a #ty nap

a reply to: knowledgehunter0986

I really liked it, the alien and atemporal perspective. I'd love for you to flesh out the story more, too.

a reply to: chr0naut

Thanks for reading.

I might continue it in the future sometime.

Nice one. You should continue in the future...

a reply to: knowledgehunter0986

In simpler terms, you described the primal nature of man...to me anyway. Good read!!

a reply to: knowledgehunter0986

I was warned about the price I would have to pay, but I was far too naive to fully grasp what I was truly getting into. This is not what I signed up for and not what I imagined, for I am now but a shell of the person I once was. My heart is a barren wasteland as bleak as the universe itself and the convictions I once adhered to has now been depleted along with my soul. My reason now, is for no reason at all.

I just absolutely loved this paragraph and read it several times.
I can relate to your character in some ways.
Thanks for your story!

a reply to: TNMockingbird

Thank you for reading TNM!