When Our Children Value Things More Than Life

I don't know what to say, or how to say it, to get parents to see the dangers that are awaiting their children, even when they are right under their noses. I am not telling parents to hover over their children, or to leash them, but parents have to be aware of the dangers, and they have to do more than teach those dangers to their children. They need to provided their children with the skills to avoid and overcome the dangers they face everyday.

Parents need to stop thinking, "it will never happen to my child", because I hear that from every parent whose child it did happen to. Your children are not exempt and they are not immune to the dangers of our society.

I had a young girl almost die at my feet yesterday. According to her grandmother, she had posted some inappropriate material on the internet before, and the mother had warned her if she repeated the unacceptable behavior, she would take away the cell phone. When the mother found out the behavior had not stopped, she terminated the service to the cell phone. The young girl decided that she could not live without her cell phone, so she decided to kill herself.

Fortunately for her, her grandmother was visiting and decided it would be best to just get her out of the house for a while, so she took her to a nearby family community event. She was not aware the child had taken a large number of pills before leaving the house. When she passed out on the bathroom floor, she was lucky there were people around to help. I just happened to be one of them.

I guess sometimes you are where you are supposed to be, because I am a Forensic Nurse and there was another lady there that is a Nurse Practitioner. That is only reason why that child is alive today. I could not believe how long it seemed to take for the paramedics to arrive. They were stellar when they arrived but in a crisis like this, time seems to snail by.

The number of children that are being hurt and killed related to activities they are involved with on the internet is growing everyday. You can't blame the children. When a poll was taken asking the average person on the street, what was the one thing they could not live without, the majority of them answered, "their cell phone". If drugs are at epidemics levels, they have to take a back seat to cell phones.

Parents think they are showing love and concern when they put those devices in their children's hands. They aren't. There is something children need more than cell phones or internet access, they need to learn about the world around them that they can see and touch. The virtual world is a trap that if not maneuvered carefully, will lead to disaster and death. Parents need to teach them how to navigate those waters, or they are sending their children into the ocean on a raft with no life preserver.

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

It's either live through your cell, or be an outcast.

The choices suck.

originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha
a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

It's either live through your cell, or be an outcast.

Sucks.

I would rather have a child that is an outcast and alive, then a child that is role playing in an artificial world, knowing that it is just a matter of time before they are going to run across the boss they feel they can't beat and the game ends.

Or be a parent with some backbone and monitor, restrict cell phone usage and take it away as punishment. My son's had no cell phones for the entire summer. So sad, too bad.

Just wondering ? Are cell phones surrogate parents ? And are the inmates running the asylum ? ie. Government

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

I'm afraid that the series of events was set in place long before the girl owned a cell phone. First, I wonder how old she was. Second, for some reason it appears she's being raised by her grandmother?

Certain people may be damaged at birth but in my experience the lack of value she placed on her own life was due to the lack of value those around her placed on her life.

a reply to: amazing
For many parents, they think that they are in control, as long as their children are at home, they are safe. They don't realize how easy it is for anyone to have access to their children via the internet, throw in a webcam and the potential escalates into infinity.

There have been human trafficking cases where a child is targeted, they are lured into a close friendship with another young person. The supposed parents of that child meets the parents, everything looks above board. Then comes the offer to take the child on a family trip or camping, every looks safe and fine. The child is thrilled to be included, you let them go, and you never see your child again, nor the fake parents.

That is just how crazy this world is that we live in. That is why parents have to b on their A-game, and the internet show be a tool not a substitute life.

a reply to: TobyFlenderson

Child is 17. Grandmother was visiting. The only thing this child is a victim of, is a loving parent that thought that her job as a parent was for her child to be happy.

a reply to: Plotus
Most parents view cell phones as a means to provide distraction for their children and a way to provide peace and contentment in the home.

I have heard more times then I can count, parents say they can't take away their child's cell phone because if they did there would be no peace in their homes.

As far as the inmates running the asylum, too often it is the children that are running the show.

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

I'm not trying to be argumentative or judgmental but I find that dubious. At a minimum the child was taught to seek happiness through material belongings. However, for a 17 year old to take these drastic steps over a cellphone leads me to believe there are much deeper issues there. Maybe I'm wrong, it wouldn't be the first time. It just seems quite suspicious. It reminds me of blaming heavy metal music, video games, etc. for poor behavior. Despite the myriad of influences we are all inundated with, it is still true that a parent's attention or lack thereof are the most deeply rooted.

a reply to: TobyFlenderson

it is still true that a parent's attention or lack thereof are the most deeply rooted.

You could be very much right. I don't know the child. I have only what the grandmother shared at a time of crisis to go on.

I don't want to be biased, but In many of my abuse cases, there is usually a lot of dynamics at play. More often then not, there are good parents that have been over indulgent, that thinks their children are without flaws, and the blame always is placed on someone or something else.

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

I don't think the happiness is derived from the material possession of the cell phone itself but the social networking that she uses it to engage her peers.

originally posted by: NightSkyeB4Dawn
a reply to: TobyFlenderson

Child is 17. Grandmother was visiting. The only thing this child is a victim of, is a loving parent that thought that her job as a parent was for her child to be happy.

I applaud you for everything you did to save the lost souls life. However, how can we call a parent loving, when they obviously are more willing to be their childs best friend than being a parent who sometimes has to dole out some discipline to assure their child grows up to accept personal responsibility for their actions?

Here is a Facebook post of a mother who is ranting about her son playing a video game! NOT once does this mother accept ANY responsibility for allowing her son to play it. She is actually advocating for doing something to have this video game shut down. Parents who rely on the television and cell phones and video games to parent their children are making HUGE mistakes. It just isn't children who aren't being taught about personal responsibility and consequences, it seems a whole lot of grown ups have the same child like narcissistic behavior as well.

I think being a parent has always been difficult, but the challenges that many parents face today are so foreign to them because there has been no real precedence to go on.

Will have to get back to ATS later. I just got called out to another case. This is a busy time for me because school is just starting back and many young people being away from home for the first time, have trouble with good judgment.

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

17 is not a child.

I'm with Toby, there is more to it than just a cellphone.

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

Things are replaceable...people are not.

How to teach that to children that are connected 100% of the time to their social stream?

Bravo NightSkye, Bravo
Worth reading twice.

originally posted by: NightSkyeB4Dawn

originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha
a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

It's either live through your cell, or be an outcast.

Sucks.

I would rather have a child that is an outcast and alive, then a child that is role playing in an artificial world, knowing that it is just a matter of time before they are going to run across the boss they feel they can't beat and the game ends.

Of course. That's the ideal. And you're right--parents need to instill this concept in their children.

But as your thread illustrates, teenagers are going to overreact into oblivion when they don't get their way.

Can I post some videos of kids freaking out over having video games taken away?

There is a tremendous disconnect among human beings and it's not going to get better.

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

I feel for you. You highlight a proven psychological problem.

I have a router that blocks certain types of sites and services, like instagram or pornography. Its not perfect by any means but better than nothing.

Before I figured out how to use the router, I wrote to the Instagram people explaining I had 4 early teen age children, one of whom openly admits to being "addicted" to his computer, and asking how I could block their service from getting into my home.

I'm still waiting for a reply.


The Internet today is "ubitquitous" and everywhere. Where the Internet is not, is considered wilderness.

Made me think its the people who make money out of the apps and services - just like drug dealers arms traders, or sugar laden processed food makers - who need to be controlled.

Quite simply, any service not publishing clear instructions on how to block it if required should be illegal, with heavy penalty, and outlawed internationally.

You may think this reactionary. Perhaps it is. All the same, a virtual life isn't a real life.

YES ,Epsilons don't need that just a personal cubical to live in and red book of rules.
I think planned Obsolescence has failed us by going rampantly over disposable.