Misandrists and misogynists, I'm getting confused what they mean now

originally posted by: InceyWincey
a reply to: AndyMayhew

Using the gender reference seems to be the crime. It happened to William Hague (UK Foreign Secretary) in 2013:
MSM Evening Standard

Foreign Secretary William Hague faced accusations of sexism today after he was pictured saying “stupid woman” at a Labour MP asking a question in the Commons.

I guess he has learned to say stupid person instead after that lol
I have these days online, not in real life, I called a close female friend the other day a stupid blonde and lifted her up in a bear hug when she told me she was anxious about some deep emotional life decision thing going on. She wanted my support and approval, long story, but emotional, and my stupid blonde line and hug made us both laugh.

I don't know any extreme feminists in real life, people are pretty much equal where I live, except for free nightclub entry for females, don't hear any women moaning about that ever!

It does suck in a way that things are often taken to extremes. You can argue up and down all day about whether or not his use of the phrase 'stupid woman' was a means to generalize in a sexist manner or if he was just referring to her alone in a way that he meant 'You're stupid...and you separately happen to be a woman." There's no proof or absolute closure from either side in that sort of circumstance. It's all semantics. Either way, though? It shouldn't be said..which I am sure most people would agree as it is disrespectful to call anyone stupid.

And it is one sided. Haha. Women getting into clubs free. Again, with this one...you could argue that it is sexist towards men..because..technically it is. But you won't hear anything about it for multiple reasons.

And calling your friend a stupid blond was clearly a joking way of being endearing, which I'm sure your friend appreciated. It sounds like she is lucky to have a friend like you!

a reply to: ReyaPhemhurth

I does suck in a way that things are often taken to extremes. You can argue up and down all day about whether or not his use of the phrase 'stupid woman' was a means to generalize in a sexist manner or if he was just referring to her alone i na way that he meant 'You're stupid...and you separately happen to be a woman."

Yes, it may not be an indicator that the person feels deeply that way toward all. It should take more than a single comment to support an extreme position by the person.

originally posted by: InceyWincey

originally posted by: ReyaPhemhurth

originally posted by: InceyWincey
a reply to: ReyaPhemhurth

Fantastic well considered post and I agree with all your sentiments

Be nice is my go-to phrase, but when someone is being nasty I will call reserve the option to say I think they are a nasty person, male or female.

Agreed. Remember the good ol' Bambi days where Thumper taught us that if we had nothing nice to say, not to say anything at all?

Misandry and misogyny are real things, and I completely get them when they occur..but..instead of teaching people to group everyone into some sort of category based on rude or hateful statements...we need to RE-TEACH people how to show their fellow human-being some respect.

Agreed, but then we are in the realms of suppressing basic human emotions, I prefer emotions in real life, because, urm, it's real.
I would never want to be in a relationship with a woman who suppressed shouting "Stop being a #ing prick!" if I'm being a prick. I want fire and confidence because I've never hit a woman but confident passionate shouting when we disagree, hell yeah! That's when two people share their deepest emotions, intense, but not a situation where either fear violence, that's deep love to me, and something beautiful.

The make up after is always the best as well

Very well said! Agreed! Any sort of emotional suppression is unhealthy, especially within a relationship. By being emotionally honest, it allows to people to truly know whether or not they are compatible. Either a couple can grow closer from such honesty or two people can realize that maybe they're not right for one another and can move on accordingly.

And the same would go from my p.o.v. as a woman. If I was being moody or being a b*tch, I'd want to know because II wouldn't want to be that way. Especially if it was towards my significant other. I'd want to adjust and make up for it in the very same way that if my male counterpart was being an ass, I'd want him to be aware of it so he could adjust his attitude. It's respect and it's a two-way street.

Again, well said on your end and I completely agree.

As a woman, and the mother of a young boy, I am getting sick of the subtle and not so subtle misandry in society.

Look how few men on TV are really men, in the old-fashioned, strong properly masculine sense of the word. Most are cartoonish buffoons whose youngest children are often smarter than they are. And if they are musculine, that's "toxic masculinity." Who in their right mind decided it was time to tell boys that if they act on their own natural inclinations, it was "toxic"?

originally posted by: roadgravel
a reply to: ReyaPhemhurth

I does suck in a way that things are often taken to extremes. You can argue up and down all day about whether or not his use of the phrase 'stupid woman' was a means to generalize in a sexist manner or if he was just referring to her alone i na way that he meant 'You're stupid...and you separately happen to be a woman."

Yes, it may not be an indicator that the person feels deeply that way toward all. It should take more than a single comment to support an extreme position by the person.

Exactly. People are so radical these days on all sides that anything could be misconstrued. There's no wiggle room and no allowance for forgiveness. Which is sad. It sucks that people say things like 'stupid woman' or 'stupid man' in the first place...but because we can't make this a reality where EVERYONE is kind and respectful to EVERYONE, we need to understand that people make mistakes with the words they choose.

(Though, there are some, obviously as well,that repeatedly say sexist things and are repeat offenders in that department. Both male and female. And for this...it's not a matter of arguing semantics.)

In the REAL world, misandry it doesn't matter.

In all my decades of living in dozens of states, countries, and working in dozens of jobs and businesses, and helping on dozens of organizations and associations and boards of directors and everything. I've never met a woman that hated a men in general in any way that would effect/affect my life in anyway.

What make believe land do you guys live in? LOL

originally posted by: ReyaPhemhurth

I does suck in a way that things are often taken to extremes. You can argue up and down all day about whether or not his use of the phrase 'stupid woman' was a means to generalize in a sexist manner or if he was just referring to her alone i na way that he meant 'You're stupid...and you separately happen to be a woman." There's no proof or absolute closure from either side in that sort of circumstance. It's all semantics. Either way, though? It shouldn't be said..which I am sure most people would agree as it is disrespectful to call anyone stupid.

Agreed, I usually say that was a stupid thing to do or similar.

And it is one sided. Haha. Women getting into clubs free. Again, with this one...you could argue that it is sexist towards men..because..technically it is. But you won't hear anything about it for multiple reasons.

Lol, again agreed, if I owned a club I'd do the same, gets more men in who will encourage to spend more money. The guys have loads of cash on them, they know they have to pay for the girls drinks, the pizza to take home, and the taxi. A mate of mine owned a club and did the same lol.

And calling your friend a stupid blond was clearly a joking way of being endearing, which I'm sure your friend appreciated.

It sounds like she is lucky to have a friend like you!

Ah she is my 'sista' really deep love, raw and honest, it would be a long thread in itself!

originally posted by: ketsuko
As a woman, and the mother of a young boy, I am getting sick of the subtle and not so subtle misandry in society.

Look how few men on TV are really men, in the old-fashioned, strong properly masculine sense of the word. Most are cartoonish buffoons whose youngest children are often smarter than they are. And if they are musculine, that's "toxic masculinity." Who in their right mind decided it was time to tell boys that if they act on their own natural inclinations, it was "toxic"?

Agreed. I don't have cable anymore for so many reasons (haha, separate topic) but when I did, I couldn't tell you how many times I saw sitcoms where the man of the house or father was this dumb, good for nothing oaf that the smart and level headed wife was forced to clean up their messes and fix all their mistakes. It made my blood boil, as that's not real life.

I get upset at this man-bashing in the same way I'd be upset if I saw a show where they showed this docile, overly-domesticated woman who had this incredible princess mentality being depicted as lesser person within a show where the male gender was favored.

However those days are no longer around; now in popular culture, we have made it obvious that it's wrong to be sexist towards women (which is fine and dandy) but we have not even so much as outlined how it is wrong to be sexist towards men.

originally posted by: amazing
In the REAL world, misandry it doesn't matter.

In all my decades of living in dozens of states, countries, and working in dozens of jobs and businesses, and helping on dozens of organizations and associations and boards of directors and everything. I've never met a woman that hated a men in general in any way that would effect/affect my life in anyway.

What make believe land do you guys live in? LOL

Hey, I'd love to discuss with you. I'm just wondering, what you do mean by misandry does not matter? Any clarification would be immensely appreciated.

Misandrist has been around for a while now.

Misandrous (English) –1871

Me thinks people mainly on the left didn't want it to get out.
Much like how leftists say only white people can be racist.
They also believe only men can be sexist.
So this word is either disregarded as irrelevant or not even a word at all.

originally posted by: InceyWincey

originally posted by: ReyaPhemhurth

I does suck in a way that things are often taken to extremes. You can argue up and down all day about whether or not his use of the phrase 'stupid woman' was a means to generalize in a sexist manner or if he was just referring to her alone i na way that he meant 'You're stupid...and you separately happen to be a woman." There's no proof or absolute closure from either side in that sort of circumstance. It's all semantics. Either way, though? It shouldn't be said..which I am sure most people would agree as it is disrespectful to call anyone stupid.

Agreed, I usually say that was a stupid thing to do or similar.

And it is one sided. Haha. Women getting into clubs free. Again, with this one...you could argue that it is sexist towards men..because..technically it is. But you won't hear anything about it for multiple reasons.

Lol, again agreed, if I owned a club I'd do the same, gets more men in who will encourage to spend more money. The guys have loads of cash on them, they know they have to pay for the girls drinks, the pizza to take home, and the taxi. A mate of mine owned a club and did the same lol.

And calling your friend a stupid blond was clearly a joking way of being endearing, which I'm sure your friend appreciated.

It sounds like she is lucky to have a friend like you!

Ah she is my 'sista' really deep love, raw and honest, it would be a long thread in itself!

Haha, completely and totally agree! I think you may have a new idea! An untapped yet lucrative method by which to operate a club!!!!

I say go for it! Let those men in for free!

Hell, I'd go to your club.

originally posted by: ReyaPhemhurth
However those days are no longer around; now in popular culture, we have made it obvious that it's wrong to be sexist towards women (which is fine and dandy) but we have not even so much as outlined how it is wrong to be sexist towards men.

You really get what was going on in my head when I posted the clumsily constructed OP.
I see TV adverts where the muscle fit bloke say falls in the sand and the women laugh, but if you had the fit girl in a reverse situation there would be outrage.
I don't get it, maybe it's just because most of us blokes don't really give a #.

a reply to: ReyaPhemhurth

Oh no, I meant I'd still charge men and let the women in free. More women means more men being rinsed out by the women in the club lol, you know, champagne and vip booth stuff.


*I've just read this back and feel like I sold my fellow males out for pure profit, wow, feel a little grubby about that to be honest.
It is the way it has always been though, it is accepted where I live that males get rinsed out in nightclubs and casinos by females. I grew up with siters, one my twin, I know the score quite intimately and rinsing stupid blokes is easy unfortunately.
My girl friends have all the information it is powerful, I don't abuse that, but knowledge is power, and in my social circles I actually see the real power is held by women.

originally posted by: JAY1980
Misandrist has been around for a while now.

Misandrous (English) –1871

Me thinks people mainly on the left didn't want it to get out.
Much like how leftists say only white people can be racist.
They also believe only men can be sexist.
So this word is either disregarded as irrelevant or not even a word at all.

Misandry has been around for a while, just like you showed.

However, I wouldn't, if I were you, put this into a left vs right issue. It's not like that.

You're making unnecessary generalizations about people and lumping them together in groups like actual misogynists and misanderists do. Again, it's not a partisan issue. As I mentioned above, I am a left-leaning woman but am totally with OP in how misandry is a real issue these days. In a thread about how we shouldn't categorize people, you're categorizing them by saying it's something the left is doing.

I lean left and know for a fact that women can be sexist.
I lean left and know for a fact that people of other races can be racist.

It's not enough to say it's 'the left'.

So, maybe you might reconsider? With all do respect, of course.

originally posted by: InceyWincey

originally posted by: ReyaPhemhurth
However those days are no longer around; now in popular culture, we have made it obvious that it's wrong to be sexist towards women (which is fine and dandy) but we have not even so much as outlined how it is wrong to be sexist towards men.

You really get what was going on in my head when I posted the clumsily constructed OP.
I see TV adverts where the muscle fit bloke say falls in the sand and the women laugh, but if you had the fit girl in a reverse situation there would be outrage.
I don't get it, maybe it's just because most of us blokes don't really give a #.

Haha, nice to know we're on the same wavelength.

It is true. If you take situations like you mentioned and you turn the tables, there's always some form of outrage. People have become very good at ignoring what is right in front of their faces. I've lost so many gal-pals in the work place because of my stance on this issue. You won't see me joining in on the discussions a lot of my female coworkers are having wherein they find some way to bash their husbands or boyfriends for their 'incompetence'. I am always quick to point out, imagine if your s.o. was at their job trashing you without you being around to defend yourself?

It's wrong.

Lol...I don't have a lot of female friends.

originally posted by: InceyWincey
a reply to: ReyaPhemhurth

Oh no, I meant I'd still charge men and let the women in free. More women means more men being rinsed out by the women in the club lol, you know, champagne and vip booth stuff.

Woopsie, I misunderstood. I'm such a silly, stupid woman.

Lol, I'd still go to your club!

originally posted by: ReyaPhemhurth

originally posted by: InceyWincey
a reply to: ReyaPhemhurth

Oh no, I meant I'd still charge men and let the women in free. More women means more men being rinsed out by the women in the club lol, you know, champagne and vip booth stuff.

Woopsie, I misunderstood. I'm such a silly, stupid woman.

Lol, I'd still go to your club!

Lol

You might have missed my edit...

*I've just read this back and feel like I sold my fellow males out for pure profit, wow, feel a little grubby about that to be honest. It is the way it has always been though, it is accepted where I live that males get rinsed out in nightclubs and casinos by females. I grew up with siters, one my twin, I know the score quite intimately and rinsing stupid blokes is easy unfortunately. My girl friends have all the information it is powerful, I don't abuse that, but knowledge is power, and in my social circles I actually see the real power is held by women.

originally posted by: InceyWincey

originally posted by: ReyaPhemhurth

originally posted by: InceyWincey
a reply to: ReyaPhemhurth

Oh no, I meant I'd still charge men and let the women in free. More women means more men being rinsed out by the women in the club lol, you know, champagne and vip booth stuff.

Woopsie, I misunderstood. I'm such a silly, stupid woman.

Lol, I'd still go to your club!

Lol

You might have missed my edit...

*I've just read this back and feel like I sold my fellow males out for pure profit, wow, feel a little grubby about that to be honest. It is the way it has always been though, it is accepted where I live that males get rinsed out in nightclubs and casinos by females. I grew up with siters, one my twin, I know the score quite intimately and rinsing stupid blokes is easy unfortunately. My girl friends have all the information it is powerful, I don't abuse that, but knowledge is power, and in my social circles I actually see the real power is held by women.

Haha, yeah I did initially miss the edit. I don't think you sold them out. I get what you're saying entirely. I don't mean to sell my fellow females out, but when I have gone to clubs with some girlfriends, I have seen firsthand these girls get men to buy them drinks nonstop without having any other intention of getting to know them. A man is obviously going to attempt to buy a woman a drink because he is in some way interested in her..be it sexually or otherwise. It's a clear and concise intent in some fashion.

Women I've known (another reason why I cannot be friends with a lot of them) take this clear cut intent and twist it in a selfish way to continue to get free drinks because they know they can. I have seen women continually accept drinks with the intention to NOT have further intentions with said male. It sucks, You'd think common sense would state that, man offers woman a drink. If woman is interested, accept drink. IIf woman is NOT interested, decline drink.

a reply to: ReyaPhemhurth

Bottom-line, people need to simply not say such things and should be kind and respectful to one another

Thank you for such a well thought out post. What I think no one has mentioned is that before one attaches a label as misogynist a pattern of similar derision over a period of time would have to be discovered before the label could be applied. In other words a one off statement by either male or female - no big deal.

We are guilty of labeling people by their comments without taking a 2nd thought, as if their whole makeup and past experiences and what makes them human rests solely on that one utterance that offends us.

We often discuss the office dynamics, between my wife and I , that you mentioned and see that some women to a large degree play that hypocritical game.

it's a little different. No one is listening to the misandry going on

This goes very deep and seems to be a ideology/meme, that has in essence become the unspoken norm. It fits well with a general idea that some hold that a depopulation agenda is in the works.

Thank you for a great discussion.

a reply to: ReyaPhemhurth

I get ya, but it is so deeply engrained in my society I don't see it changing in my lifetime until we see women campaigning for equal nightclub entry charges and stuff like that lol.
More women like you seem, you see the technical sexism which no campaigning women are pointing out as inequality.
Regarding nightclubs, meh, I've grown up with that situation, I couldn't give a toss if it doesn't change in my lifetime I don't care.
It's always cost a load of money as a male to share moments with someone you meet at a club, it's the game, but it is almost the unspoken indirect exchange of money between two strangers on a night out.
Funny, it's almost the last bastion of real technical sexism lol