Shattered Realities - Abduction, Paranormal, and Psi Experiences Thread (Includes My Experiences)

Yo!

Thank you very much for taking the time to read this thread. It is my hope that I will be able to impart as much of my experiences as possible while simultaneously learning and supporting others with similar experiences.

Always remember that any amount of light will always pierce through the darkness.

I type this at 22:40 EST on Monday, July 3rd 2017. I am unsure what sort of direction this post will take, although I have a feeling that it will be quite a long one. For those that stick around for the entire thing, you have my gratitude. I have been mulling over these thoughts and how exactly to articulate them for my entire life, especially within the last 1 - 1.5 years. The course of my life has taken several unexpected turns, and at each crossroads I find that my entire perception of how I define myself changes so drastically that it is inconceivable that my past selves and I were at one point the same person.


I will begin with who I am now in order to provide a better understanding of the past events that have helped shape me into who I am today.

I am above all a human, one that frantically seeks what I know will destroy who I am now and forever alter who I will become. I am a human that fears that which I desire most, a human whose pursuits threaten to consume everything I have ever known in an roaring conflagration that bathes all in the searing light of truth.

Time and time again I have begun this search, only to abandon it and after some time begin yet again where my past selves left off. I know not for how long this vicious cycle will continue, but I feel that this time it will be different. The only way to break any cycle is to leave it, and the only way to leave is to change. It is this ruthless and unrelenting desire for change that fuels the fire for my very existence.

I desire to change everything I perceive, everything on which my gaze lands, everything I touch, everything that allows me to interact with it in some way, be it physically, emotionally, and / or spiritually.

As a human, I want to experience as much as I can about these realities while I am still alive. What impedes me is the primal fear of the unknown, a fear that draws me closer while pushing me away.

I so desperately want to understand, and yet I fear that the very understanding that I seek will be my final undoing.

I am a student of varied disciplines with varying degrees of aptitude. I wish to learn from those who have devoted their entire lives to studying but a tiny facet of an uncountably infinite web of meaning and truth. Through learning from their excursions into the unknown, I can prepare myself for my own, and subsequently can assist those who wish to undertake their own unique journey.


In addition to the study of conventional human knowledge, I am drawn to other wells of understanding and experience. My past selves would have dismissed what I am about to delineate to you as absurd, as pure nonsense, as a trick of the human mind. The reason I am writing this is because I believe that what I have experienced is as true as my belief that I am talking to other sentient entities whose experience and awareness is separate (in most cases) from my own. I believe that what I am about to describe is merely a small piece of a puzzle of staggering complexity, and my piece might help others solve their own puzzle, even if it is only through the connection of a single piece.


I started to become acutely aware of these "paranormal" experiences around February of 2016. For the previous sections of my life, I rationalized their existence using religious lines of reasoning or by shrugging them off entirely. In some ways I almost wish that I had never descended down the rabbit hole, as it might be infinite - I know all too well how pathetically fragile the human psyche is.

Regardless, after contemplating the meaning of my existence an innumerable amount of times as well attempting to end it several times I have somehow held onto a will to live. This will has been bent and contorted beyond recognition, yet it has never broken. At times I do not understand how, but I have come to discover that although humans are fragile, they possess a resilience and tenacity that abounds from the depths of their very souls. I am no different.

In Feburary of 2016 I was outside my house at around 12:30 - 12:40 EST. I heard a sound that emanated from everywhere and nowhere simultaneously, resounding internally and externally through my very being. I suddenly felt compelled to look at the sky.

I saw a brilliant ball of bright orange light whose movement was not restricted by the drawbacks of human engineering. It was surrounded by a halo in the shape of concave diamond, whose points were located at the cardinal directions. This object moved in erratic directions at speeds I have never seen before, and it moved closer and closer to me.

I dropped onto my knees.


"God!"


My myopic view of what little I already knew instantly shattered, and I was left to pick up the pieces. I gazed upwards in astonishment as I beheld my 2nd conscious witnessing of an orb of light.

At this point, I was speechless. I had checked if I was dreaming, and I once again checked the time of my phone; I made sure that the recording I took of this object actually existed. I was not dreaming - this was reality. I am not a schizophrenic, and if it was a hallucination then it was a hallucination as real as what I am typing now. It could have been an implanted memory, but it would have been an elaborate memory indeed, complete with the manipulation of other sentient beings and physical technology, among other things.

I thought to myself:

"If you are truly a God, show me a sign."

The entire sky, formerly black as any other night I have experienced, lit up with a shade of light pink. Everything became illuminated, and at this point I think I started crying.

I thought something, and then physical reality bent in accordance with this thought. I asked for a sign using only my mind, and I received one, for if one was to probe the depths of my subconscious, they would instantly understand that I perceive light pink as a sign of God.

I was so awestruck that I made a mental pact to not record this event, as it was unbelievably personal. I was mentally screaming for understanding, for truth to be expressed in ways that my human mind could comprehend.

After about 10 or 15 minutes of this object silently observing me, and I it, I went inside. The hue of the sky regressed to the black it once was.

I literally could not comprehend what I had just witnessed. I sat in my room, detached from everything and everyone.

Everything had lost its meaning, and I dissociated from my environment and myself in a way I could not comprehend without experiencing it in that moment. I was a hollow shell of what I once was; my perceptions, my supposed "knowledge" regarding the true nature of reality, my very sense of self - shattered.

I somehow managed to regain my composure, and started replaying what I had just witnessed.

A flying orb changed the color of the sky in response to a thought I had, using knowledge deep within my subconscious.

Was I sure I wasn't dreaming? Was I sure that wasn't just an elaborate hallucination?

I checked my phone once again, and the video remained.

I was disappointed to see that the quality of the recording did absolutely no justice to the magnificence of this orb, but it served to anchor me to my newfound reality. I immediately called my friend, with whom just 2 days earlier I was discussing the possibility of UFO's and Aliens. In that conversation, I had said with such ardor that I wanted to be abducted - be careful what you wish for.

I talked to more of my friends that very night, telling them I had just seen a UFO. They were skeptical, but it is to be expected. I had never believed in any of this until witnessing it with my very eyes. They postulated that it was a "glowing bug" or a "Chinese Floating Lantern" or an "airplane". It was not any of those things. I would not be posting here if it was.

I wrote an entry in my digital journal, saying that I accept whatever my fate would be, and that I loved my family and friends. I was far too afraid, far too excited to sleep. It did not come until 06:00 that morning.

I returned to playing video games in an attempt to reinsert myself into the reality I once left. I was flooded with emotions and questions, but there was something that was silently pestering me.

I was afraid to dream.

I have been a student of Lucid Dreaming for 3 - 4 years now, and not once have I ever been scared to dream. But on this night, I experienced a fear unlike any I have every consciously experienced, a feeling so terrifying that it devoured my entire being.

I sent a group text to my family, saying how much I loved them, and that if I never see them again I am so sorry for all that I have ever done to wrong them, lamenting over what was, what is, and what could be. They all responded, unaware of my plight. I was so grateful in that instant that I almost forgot what had just transpired.

I eventually drifted to sleep, after hiding under the covers for hours, praying whatever I had encountered would spare my life, or at the very least remove the memories of whatever they would do to me.

That morning, I had a dream where my father called me to the door. He was ecstatic, and in many ways so was I. He opened the door, and I beheld once more the orange orb in all its glory. There were several smaller, yellow orbs as well. I was terrified, and yet I felt a pull towards it, a pull so strong that it beckoned all that I was to embrace it. At the height of this thrilling juxtaposition of feelings, I awoke.

Once more, I was unsure what was real and what wasn't. I checked my phone, and after recording the dream I checked my camera. The video remained.

If you have read this far, I thank you. I have never experienced catharsis on this level regarding this subject, and I feel quite drained. I will continue tomorrow, as it is 23:58 EST. I have much more to tell, many more instances of phenomena that are unexplainable with current human knowledge.

I encourage you to share your story if you feel comfortable enough to. I understand that everyone is at different points in different paths, so do not cause yourself undue stress.

a reply to: zQuaesitor

Aside from being something I have never personally experienced, your prose is quite beautiful.

Can you share the video?

Saving for later reading. Interesting thread

Welcome to the Gates of Babylon, you poor unfortunate, protestant bastard.

Hope your ride alot smoother then mine, cause it still biting my behind.

You're a very creative person.

But your mind has been hacked. By other humans.

People don't want to know or admit to how easy this is- specially when it comes to incredibly creative folk. People hate admitting to their vulnerabilities so this is probably the last thing you'll do (admit that it's even possible) because you'll tell yourself over and over again about how strong you are mentally and how invincible you really are.

The old tales of severe abuse needed to split a mind is... in my unprofessional opinion, archaic. Very little effort is required in order to successfully trap a mind and get it to deceive itself... specially if you're snatched up at a young age.

Maybe I'm projecting but I believe you're undergoing some kind of hypnosis/controlled dissociation to see what you are seeing and blocking the true reality. Really other things are happening, things you are not letting yourself know- and at the mention of the little orbs... I wonder what that entails. Possibly the creation of more hypnotically/dissociated people like yourself to take orders at a whim, no matter what. It's like they're building a secret army. It's so secret that we don't even let ourselves know that there's even a secret.

LOL, it sounds like it could be a cool sci-fi story. And in the end everybody kills themselves after they win the battle and finally wake up to the truth- because the truth exposes such vulnerability and everybody is so embarrassed and hurt and full of shame... because it hurts so much when you know you've been so had and then tossed aside like you're waste garbage. After you've been milked dry like the teat you are...

Well if I'm right, just know there's more to life then all of that. And life can be different.

Good luck!

read the books of jacques vallee and jonh keel not gonna say anything just read

originally posted by: AkontaDarkpaw

:^)

originally posted by: chr0naut
a reply to: zQuaesitor

Aside from being something I have never personally experienced, your prose is quite beautiful.

Can you share the video?

Thank you so much!

I will post the video as soon as my computer is operational again. I am currently using my old laptop and phone in the interim.

originally posted by: ElOmen
Saving for later reading. Interesting thread

I hope you get something out it.

originally posted by: Specimen
Welcome to the Gates of Babylon, you poor unfortunate, protestant bastard.

Hope your ride alot smoother then mine, cause it still biting my behind.

Thank you for words of encouragement. My ride has definitely felt like a rollercoaster at times, but I am hopeful for the future. I hope you find whatever solace you can along your journey as well.

originally posted by: geezlouise
You're a very creative person.

But your mind has been hacked. By other humans.

People don't want to know or admit to how easy this is- specially when it comes to incredibly creative folk. People hate admitting to their vulnerabilities so this is probably the last thing you'll do (admit that it's even possible) because you'll tell yourself over and over again about how strong you are mentally and how invincible you really are.

The old tales of severe abuse needed to split a mind is... in my unprofessional opinion, archaic. Very little effort is required in order to successfully trap a mind and get it to deceive itself... specially if you're snatched up at a young age.

Maybe I'm projecting but I believe you're undergoing some kind of hypnosis/controlled dissociation to see what you are seeing and blocking the true reality. Really other things are happening, things you are not letting yourself know- and at the mention of the little orbs... I wonder what that entails. Possibly the creation of more hypnotically/dissociated people like yourself to take orders at a whim, no matter what. It's like they're building a secret army. It's so secret that we don't even let ourselves know that there's even a secret.

LOL, it sounds like it could be a cool sci-fi story. And in the end everybody kills themselves after they win the battle and finally wake up to the truth- because the truth exposes such vulnerability and everybody is so embarrassed and hurt and full of shame... because it hurts so much when you know you've been so had and then tossed aside like you're waste garbage. After you've been milked dry like the teat you are...

Well if I'm right, just know there's more to life then all of that. And life can be different.

Good luck!

Thank you for your compliment! What intrigues me the most about your point of view is the circumstances that shaped it. I am in no position to discount any possible explanation with my limited knowledge of these phenomena, which is why I must ask you this:

Why is it, out of every possible explanation for these events, you believe so strongly that my mind has been "hacked" by other humans? Have you ever had similar experiences? If so, why did you settle on your present conclusion?

I have encountered this explanation once before, although I have never had the opportunity to engage another person in conversation about this topic.

I hope I am not being too personal, and I apologize if I am.

originally posted by: humanoidlord
read the books of jacques vallee and jonh keel not gonna say anything just read

Words cannot express my gratitude regarding your recommendations. I have read the works of Karla Turner, and upon finishing Dimensions I would say that it was of equal import to Masquerade of Angels in redefining my world views. I also found it interesting that there was a preface by Whitley Strieber, as I have read Communion in the past. I have just finished Confrontation, and my appetite grows ever more voracious.

If you don't mind me asking, how did you stumble across these books?

a reply to: zQuaesitor

I sent a pm to you.

Yo guys! I will now proceed to describe the other times where I have seen other aerial anomalies in waking reality. I have seen similar and even more fascinating objects within dreams, and I will elucidate those experiences in a later post.

The next and most recent experience occurred one or two weeks after I had seen the orange ball of light in February of 2016. I was in the same spot I was the last time I had seen it, and the time of night was similar, maybe 12 - 01 EST. I turned to my right, and maybe 20 - 30 feet (6 - 9 meters) away from me was situated an orange ball of light that was maybe the size of a basketball. Quite near it was an even smaller white ball of light that was "orbiting" its larger orange cousin. I would estimate that the white ball of light was maybe 1/8 or 1/10 the size of the orange object.

The craziest part is that instead of being overcome with crippling fear, I had an almost apathetic response! I decided to turn around, open the door, and go inside. In my mind, I remember telling myself that this was "too much" and that I was "******* done". After speaking with other individuals in waking reality about this experience, some believe that my mental response and subsequent actions did not originate of my own volition, but of an external source - perhaps even from the orb itself!

Such a claim is truly mind boggling, for if it is true one must question one's sense of self, one's notions of reality, and one's notion of one's very thoughts.

For several months I had a fear of returning to that part of my yard, as always in the back of my mind I wondered if I would encounter it again.

Interestingly enough, the protagonist of Karla Turner's (magnum) opus Masquerade of Angels had a similar experience, although he was able to gaze at the orb from a much closer distance. At one point it literally stared him in the face! He saw it move through walls as if they did not exist, and he observed that beneath the sheen of the orange glow were several armillary spheres, each adorned with lenses!

To this day a part of me wishes that I had gotten closer to the object and inspected it.


That concludes my most recent experiences with these orbs of light, although I remember seeing them when I was much, much younger.

At that time, I was deeply religious as my mother is a devout Catholic, and in a classic fashion she molded the beliefs of my young mind in ways that were conducive to the internal consistency of the logic of her belief systems. I would like to say that there is nothing wrong with being religious, nor do I have anything against any religion or their practitioners; I just wish that I was exposed to a more eclectic panoply of possible belief systems while I was younger. Alas...

I digress. The next experience I will recount is when I was 5 or 6 years old. At this time, my younger sister (1 year younger) and I shared a room. My bed faced the door, which happened to be open at that time. Since we were forced to go to bed at around 17:30 or 18:30 every day, naturally I had trouble falling asleep. In this instance, the angle of my head happened to be such that out of the left side of my peripheral vision I noticed a peculiar white light that hovered next to an indented light bulb that illuminated the hallway.

It was the most brilliant light I had ever seen, with a faint tail resembling a rainbow. Whenever I turned to observe it directly, it would dart into the light of the hallway. Then, whenever I would turn my head back to its original position, it would emerge from the light and resume hovering around the light. This pattern kept repeating itself for a while, and I told my sister, who could not see the light.

I ran down to my mother and reported with pride that I had seen an angel, and she congratulated me.

One of the most interesting side effects of this experience is that I did not experience the afterimages that normally correspond to the retinal damage that accompanies the prolonged exposure of the human eye to a light source. Could this mean that it wasn't electromagnetic radiation at all? Or, could it be that it somehow stifled or reversed in real time the overstimulation of my rod and cone cells? I do not know.

To this day, I can ask my family about this experience and they corroborate what I said about what I saw. To me, this is indicative of an actual event within the confines of a shared physical reality - not a hallucination, and not dream.

Only a few months ago I told my father of this experience. To my elation and astonishment, he also saw that light! I will admit that as time passed my perception of my past experience started to teeter precariously on the precipice of doubt, even though my mother would mention this event from time to time. Hearing my father recount his perceptions of the white light served as immutable vindication of a memory that was an actual part of physical reality. My father has also experienced several "paranormal" experiences, which is included, but not limited to:

- Drowning in the sea while in the Philippines at 7 years old, only to be pulled out by his arm by an invisible entity... thus saving his life. He swears that there were no humans around him.
- Having 3 prophetic dreams. He is currently working at the building he saw in the 3rd dream.
- Asking to "sacrifice himself in order to take some of the collective pain of the human race away from those who need it most", and then experiencing crippling pain in his head for a time afterwards. I do not know much about this experience, as I feel that it is intensely personal and not my place to inquire about. The only reason I even know this event happened is because my mother told it, and my dad said that he remembered it.

As always, I can only believe him as he has believed me, always knowing deep within my heart that the explanations humans devise are most likely far from the truth of the experiences that they attempt to explain.


I will now recount my earliest experience.

I was (according to my mother) 4 months old. I remember lying awake in my crib late at night, and I remember I saw a golden orb appear over my head, arcing in from the left. It was a golden yellow hue with a similarly colored, ephemeral tail, quite similar in nature to the white light I saw. Once again, my mother told me how I said I "saw an angel" and that I said that it "emanated pure love". I am not sure if I said "emanated", but I am paraphrasing. I am 20 years old now, and all I remember is seeing this golden orb of light, not of what I said afterwards.

Even after a lifetime of pondering these events, I still know neither the true origins nor the true intentions of these orbs. Like every other human throughout the course of our short history, I am resigned to the realms of speculation and probability regarding these events. I share my story in hopes of understanding the views and experiences of my contemporaries.

This concludes the orbs of light I have seen in waking reality. I have seen many, many more in dreams. In future posts I will post several interesting dreams, as well as the "Psi" phenomena I have experienced in both waking reality and dreams.

Thank you for reading this. With each post I write I feel that a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I just hope that no one burdens themselves with my former weight.

Hello everyone! I return. Here is a link to the video I promised earlier. According to the date of the file, I recorded this on February 16th, 2016 at 00:36:48.

drive.google.com...