Odd dreams about my deceased Nan.

I have never really thought about deceased people visiting in dreams, until my Nan passed 18 months ago.

I was very close to my Nan. She passed very quickly, and whilst I was overseas on a holiday in the U.S. I couldn't get back in time to see her, and the last time I spoke to her was on a very brief Skype call whilst she was in the ICU, and she was unable to respond. I was the only grandchild that was not there when she died.

I internalised a lot of the grief, and only really broke down at her funeral when I was in the middle of saying a poem on the stand. I was unable to finish it, as I could not stop crying. Since then, I have had many down days thinking of her and the times we had.

About a year ago, 6 months after she passed, I had a very, very odd dream. I have never had one as vivid and real as it. This is the best description of it that I can write:

I was in her house, which was mostly dark all around, except for the walls where I could figure out where in the house I was. There was nothing else inside, just blackness.

I was trying to find my Nan, and was walking through all of the rooms looking for her. In this dream I KNEW she was dead, I knew that I would not find her physical body, but I was trying to hear her voice. To see if she was okay. I was literally trying to communicate with her (but out loud in the dream).

I was not scared at all, but I felt very sad, lost, and afraid that I would not be able to find her. I kept on asking if she was okay, if she was happy, and if she had found her Dad (her Dad passed about 20 years ago - she was very close to him. She died here in Australia, and her Dad is buried in the UK). I spent the dream searching everywhere throughout her house - by this time, I had found some people (for some reason I was conscious of them being people who had died, some were in their physical body, some in glowing lights moving around).

I was growing increasingly upset, I was absolutely desperate to reach her. I was begging her to come and talk to me because I missed her so much. Eventually, a glowing light (I think? it was very faint) appeared, and I heard in my mind her saying: 'It's okay, I'm happy here. I'm with my Dad. You need to go now, it's not safe for you to be here'.

And that was it. I woke up, and I could not stop thinking about this dream for days.

I've had several vivid dreams since - maybe every 2-3 months, about Nan. I would be doing certain things in my dream (once out for dinner with family) and I would start thinking about her and asking to see her, and she would be there (not physically, but speaking to me). They were never as vivid as that first dream though.

They come as a comfort to me, but I find them very odd. I have asked my Mum and cousin about it, and both of them have said they have not had dreams like that relating to Nan. They have said in their dreams with her, she was there in person, and they were doing things they usually did (watching tv, playing board games, going to the movies etc.)

I guess I just want to see what other peoples views of this dream is? It still is as vivid as day to me when I think about it, and all my feelings of despair and comfort come back.

originally posted by: lydie15
I have never really thought about deceased people visiting in dreams, until my Nan passed 18 months ago.

I was very close to my Nan. She passed very quickly, and whilst I was overseas on a holiday in the U.S. I couldn't get back in time to see her, and the last time I spoke to her was on a very brief Skype call whilst she was in the ICU, and she was unable to respond. I was the only grandchild that was not there when she died.

I internalised a lot of the grief, and only really broke down at her funeral when I was in the middle of saying a poem on the stand. I was unable to finish it, as I could not stop crying. Since then, I have had many down days thinking of her and the times we had.

About a year ago, 6 months after she passed, I had a very, very odd dream. I have never had one as vivid and real as it. This is the best description of it that I can write:

I was in her house, which was mostly dark all around, except for the walls where I could figure out where in the house I was. There was nothing else inside, just blackness.

I was trying to find my Nan, and was walking through all of the rooms looking for her. In this dream I KNEW she was dead, I knew that I would not find her physical body, but I was trying to hear her voice. To see if she was okay. I was literally trying to communicate with her (but out loud in the dream).

I was not scared at all, but I felt very sad, lost, and afraid that I would not be able to find her. I kept on asking if she was okay, if she was happy, and if she had found her Dad (her Dad passed about 20 years ago - she was very close to him. She died here in Australia, and her Dad is buried in the UK). I spent the dream searching everywhere throughout her house - by this time, I had found some people (for some reason I was conscious of them being people who had died, some were in their physical body, some in glowing lights moving around).

I was growing increasingly upset, I was absolutely desperate to reach her. I was begging her to come and talk to me because I missed her so much. Eventually, a glowing light (I think? it was very faint) appeared, and I heard in my mind her saying: 'It's okay, I'm happy here. I'm with my Dad. You need to go now, it's not safe for you to be here'.

And that was it. I woke up, and I could not stop thinking about this dream for days.

I've had several vivid dreams since - maybe every 2-3 months, about Nan. I would be doing certain things in my dream (once out for dinner with family) and I would start thinking about her and asking to see her, and she would be there (not physically, but speaking to me). They were never as vivid as that first dream though.

They come as a comfort to me, but I find them very odd. I have asked my Mum and cousin about it, and both of them have said they have not had dreams like that relating to Nan. They have said in their dreams with her, she was there in person, and they were doing things they usually did (watching tv, playing board games, going to the movies etc.)

I guess I just want to see what other peoples views of this dream is? It still is as vivid as day to me when I think about it, and all my feelings of despair and comfort come back.

Your awareness of her death in the dream likely creates the "loss" as your dreaming mind can't sustain the paradox of knowing that you can't see your Nan but she connects to you in a way that is relatable. This is her love for you and her comfort coming through to you.

In dreams we are not bound by the limitations we have on earth... those who have died live on and only their form has changed.

The important takeaway imo, is that your connection to your Nan is just as strong and as real as it was during her sojourn on earth.