What are your wirdies

I mean, it's ATS here, there is conspiracy theorists around, and every self-respecting one should follow the golden rule of conspiracy tinfoiling: "Be Nuts".

If you don't know how to think out of the box, you'll never get pregnant with the "right" theory.

The problem is that if you think out of the box you get ton of "wirdies" accompanying the legit theories.

So what are your "wirdies". And please include the most hilarious ones, this thread is about to get some laugh going


Mine in short:
-My wife if Nordic Alien sent on earth to absorb my genius. She's mind controlling me, that's why I can't get rid of her. And of the kid...
-If you drink alcohol and smoke, thus destroying your high brain vibrations TPTB won't be able to sensor your etheric body power with their satellite technology and send assassins to kill you or give you cancer if you fall in the graph of "dangerously high-vibrating cattle".
-When I was incarnating, something went wrong in the delicate process and I had lost most my powers over controlling reality. However it was not supposed to happen like this by plan. I had to be the king of kings and live in paradise. Now my only way out is to call the service clerk, but I damn forgot his number...

Your turn...

All cats and dogs are aliens sent here to spy on us, and report back to their real masters.

Who would ever think the dog...

a reply to: Argentbenign

I like to imagine I am an Illuminati/Mason shill sent here to mislead everyone about how we serve Satan.

I have a well thought out plan and it involves brown shoes and chickens. That's all I'm allowed to reveal at this particular time.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: Argentbenign

I like to imagine I am an Illuminati/Mason shill sent here to mislead everyone about how we serve Satan.

That's ridiculous. Unknowing stooge is probably more accurate.

Mine is thinking that with all the apparent connections to the IC and MIC that ATS is a Honeypot and Social Engineering testing ground. Probably run by Freemasons too!

a reply to: The GUT

'Probably'. Too funny.

a reply to: The GUT

What do you call a Mason who isn't free?


A Shriner!



I'm here all week..

(Until the local lodge chains me back up in the basement..)

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Don't think you ain't loved though. When I lived in Clearwater, Fl my hobby was trying to seduce cuties out of Scientology. What you doing tonight?

originally posted by: The GUT
Don't think you ain't loved though. When I lived in Clearwater, Fl my hobby was trying to seduce cuties out of Scientology. What you doing tonight?

Putting on that red dress you like big boy.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I've seen many of your posts. I would not doubt it if you were involved in counter intelligence.

originally posted by: r0gueAgent
I've seen many of your posts. I would not doubt it if you were involved in counter intelligence.

Don't hate the player, plus they pay well.

a reply to: Argentbenign

an "alien" species is farming our souls, earth is a prison for souls, reincarnation is real but is unnatural orchestrated by these aliens to keep our souls ignorant and trapped on earth, our life's knowledge is striped away from the soul during reincarnation, most humans have a subconscious sense of this trauma

ages ago our souls inhabited something else but we lost a massive war with them and this is the consequence.

a reply to: Argentbenign

I remember reading an ats thread a few years ago about a new surveillance invention by the gov, a type of coating like paint but is clear and would go over anything, the article examples walls of an airport, it powers itself off em waves in the environment and could transmit through rf to any pc a camera like view from any position the material coated.

ever since I'm convinced it is probably everywhere

a reply to: Argentbenign

I'm just a fat old guy with too much spare time.

originally posted by: pryingopen3rdeye
a reply to: Argentbenign

an "alien" species is farming our souls, earth is a prison for souls, reincarnation is real but is unnatural orchestrated by these aliens to keep our souls ignorant and trapped on earth, our life's knowledge is striped away from the soul during reincarnation, most humans have a subconscious sense of this trauma

ages ago our souls inhabited something else but we lost a massive war with them and this is the consequence.

Wait, that's not a "wirdie", that's just the truth. Thought everyone knew

originally posted by: pryingopen3rdeye
a reply to: Argentbenign

I remember reading an ats thread a few years ago about a new surveillance invention by the gov, a type of coating like paint but is clear and would go over anything, the article examples walls of an airport, it powers itself off em waves in the environment and could transmit through rf to any pc a camera like view from any position the material coated.

ever since I'm convinced it is probably everywhere

That wouldn't be too difficult. Some metallic car paints are made from transparent paint and metal flakes. To get a camera, all you would need to do would be to combine a solar cell with CCD cell, a micro-antennae and a unique serial number into each flake. The micro-antennaes would form a mesh network, and with a bit of computation, you could figure out where each camera was pointing.

a reply to: underwerks

the camera is in their bum. the licking is them texting home.

the bum scooch on the carpet is sending a fax.