Despondent Resolve

Despondency is when
Hope slips through your grasp
and courage's breath sputters.
Minimalist.
Shut down/in.
Misery addicted.
Yet there is something wonderful that happens here
Like a smile shining through tears,
Or the sun poking through the storm, lighting a rainbow.
For sometimes hero's are never percieved,
And the victor goes unsung.
The less visible things, which are, perhaps, the most important.

What am I going to do today?
The question arises, and the choices are clear.
I can do what I am called to, or I can stay in the box.
My heart rises, its wings flutter
My soul cries in joy
Yet, the first chance I get
I turn away
Clarity forsaken
Each time is utter betrayal
And each time clarity meets me again.
Wisdom, she speaks of love and life.
Warm light.
Her tone never piteous
Or condemning
But though she may try
She can never hide the hurt she feels
That I cause
Time and again
I arise to the call
My soul flies
But there comes a time
In every lifetime
Where you must stand on your own

I crumple and fall
My weak cries
How pathetic
Snivelling on the floor
Crying out to be saved
When my legs are fine
And I can see the way
What is one to do when their heart fights bitterly against itself?
When the mind is torn between purpose and distraction?
Do you wait for the storm to pass?
For the light to shine through,
chancing to alight upon a self constrained soul?
Or do you square your shoulders and brave the storm because it must be done

Brutal honesty
The best kind
Wipe away the lies
The self serving agenda
The whisperings of fear and doubt
lingering insanity.
I have known the way to go
It's encoded in my soul
Even if I can't always see it or speak it
Let alone walk it
I have been afraid
Stuck in my ways
Clutching to security
The familiar
Running away from duty
From importance
From destiny

What runs through the mind
Of the one who hurts those he loves?
Why, only himself
Others are a formality
As byproduct
When you look at yourself
The way you are
And you see the good and the bad
And the bad seems so iverwhelming
And the light so small
Yet how strong must that light be
To shine at all?
Flickering, waving
Ebb and flow
Never defeated
I am called, and I rise
I get going, and I stop
Today I keep going anyway
No more burning fires
No more wasting progress
I'm done with the drawing board
# square one

Can you see beauty, where there is none?
Can light shine through a forsaken one?
Can evil cry out to be saved?
Or must it save itself?
Sometimes the price of being saved is literally more than what you can bear
Do you rise or just sit and stare
Self willed ignorance
Is a nasty thing
And hard to escape from
They say to ignore the problem
And not to dwell on it
They say to flee from negativity
But when something blocks your path
No matter which way you turn
The only way out is through
You can't take a detour
If you do you're only fooling yourself
And will pay the cost in this life
Run into the storm
Dive into the pain
Give into abandon
Lose yourself
Give your life
So you may be found
The road is heaven but it cuts straight through hell
No more detours
It's time to resume
The paths we chose
Before time began
You must be crazy brave
And look pretty stupid
To go Swimming in pain
Or go Dancing in the rain

Today I will not run from truth
I will not fall to my knees
I run to my soul
I grasp my purpose
And joyfully proclaim my return
Resolutely unduring
Never yielding
There is a difference between getting knocked down, or falling
And not getting back up
When you are fully capable

Clarity comes through struggle
Did you know that?
You learn more from experience
Then watching secondhand
There must eventually come a point
In all things
Where its time is up
Yet we have the power
To say, no, don't go
I shall come to you
I shall sustain you
So often
When a feeling or thing is gone
We despair, we throw in the towel
Yet real love
Is about making things work
When things don't go right
Which is also true strength
And also
The beginnings of true wisdom
The hallmarks of genius
The stuff progress is bled from
And history is written in

I must ask myself
What is different this time
Than any other version of this scene,
That I should keep this one
And not just slowly languish?
Because I am done
I don't have to reach the boiling point
To know I have to get out
This time
I am running with clarity
And not gonna drop the ball for anything
And, if I do fail this time, like the others?
Well I'll come back eventually. I always do.

Wow! I am speechless! I think I must be your number one fan. I must re-read this when I have more time. You MUST get writer's status! You can ask a mod. Have them read a few of your works. You will get that title!

If I had a book of your works, I could easily lose myself in the pages. Wonderful Lucid, just wonderful! Oh, I said I was speechless earlier. I lied. LOL

Keep firing that imagination and never lose the spark!

a reply to: Night Star

Heya star! I was hoping you'd make your way by here, I couldn't have done it without you; your pieces Essence of Me and Through the Darkness felt like little bits of me coming home, and they really gave me some strength(essence even found its way to my lockscreen.

Thank you, I can't tell you how much your aprreciation means to me. Hehe, those are the best kind of lies, I think

Well I did ask haha! Sent a pm to tenth but I didn't drop any linkage. No reply yet.

Oh, aye, I couldn't even if I wanted to. Sometimes the spark doesn't seem like it's enough but I just have to remember that a million Sparks can start a flame.

ETA: I have been meaning to go back through over my own works and organize a compilation anyway; when I get it done I would be honoured to send you a copy. Most of what I've been written has been online so I don't lose it XD

a reply to: LucidWarrior

Lovely!!!

a reply to: Ekwensu

Thank you so very much!

a reply to: LucidWarrior

I am so honored! You made my day! Truly!

a reply to: LucidWarrior

Very good LW!

Oh the wars the wars that are waged, unseen.

a reply to: Night Star

You've made my day a few times so as far as I see it I've still got some work to do LOL

You are an inspiration.

a reply to: Nothin

Thanks Nothin!

How pettily and contemptuously they tend to get treated, from the outside looking in, too

a reply to: LucidWarrior

I was trying to inspire you. I guess I did a good job. Yay!

originally posted by: LucidWarrior
a reply to: Nothin

Thanks Nothin!

How pettily and contemptuously they tend to get treated, from the outside looking in, too

Yes. Imagine if we could better teach our children to empathize, and comprehend all of their brethren,

Found this,
And, well I don't think eloquence is my gift haha!

a reply to: Night Star

I'll say! I am greatly honoured that you would try.

Gonna work on Fires today. Just got some dialogue and internal stuff so far but there's a fight looming ahead

a reply to: Nothin

Well I certainly plan on trying, when I get to that point haha.

a reply to: LucidWarrior

With your deep humanity" you will surely be an awesome parent someday.

Keep-up your wonderful writing.

a reply to: Nothin

Thank you, for that- my heart is touched.

I will! It's good to know I'm not just shooting crap haha

originally posted by: Nothin
a reply to: LucidWarrior

With your deep humanity" you will surely be an awesome parent someday.

Keep-up your wonderful writing.

I am an Elven maiden from the high council of Elves and I approve of this message. LOL
Ok, I'm really just a mere mortal, but I agree whole heartedly!

a reply to: Night Star

Hehe, that just makes you all the more magical

a reply to: LucidWarrior

Cool! Because you need magic in your life.

a reply to: Night Star

I'll say! Glad to have you

I believe!

a reply to: LucidWarrior


Awwww, hugs! I believe too!

a reply to: Night Star

A hug from you
Is worth a treasure or two
But I don't have gold
And I'm all out of jewels
So I'll write a little song
I'll breathe life into some words
Do this little dance
That my soul knows
And send it on to you.