13 reasons why: a Netflix series

I was listening to the CBC today and they were talking about the Netflix show: 13 reasons why.
They were stating how graphic the show is and how it may trigger at risk youth to follow in the same footsteps as the main character.
Netflix has even gone as far as issuing a trigger warning

13 reasons why

The show centres around a high school girl name Hannah Baker who has committed suicide and left behind a bunch of cassette tapes stating the reasons and the people, whom she felt responsible for her death.
The cassettes are to be passed around to each of the people mentioned on them, so the people who had an negative impact on her, could hear first hand why their actions or even lack of actions added to her ultimate demise.
She is the narrator during the series, as well as plays in flash backs of her encounters that lead the way to her decision.
She faces bullying, rumours, harassment...even rape.
The show brings to light events that kids are forced to endure in the dramatic high school setting.

As a parent it scares me knowing that my oldest daughter will be in high school next year. I pray she is never faced with these circumstances.

Anyways, has anyone else watched this show?

And if so, do you think it glamorizes suicide and the after effects the impact has on the people around the victim?

a reply to: Macenroe82


A few psychiatrists already came out against allowing children to watch this show! I would heed their warnings! It might not glorify suicide, but it will imprint it into many gullible minds who watch it.

a reply to: Macenroe82

I haven't seen the program but I think it is a very good idea to get out to todays young people. It should help them by making them think before they act when it comes to being rude to other kids. At least I hope so.

a reply to: Macenroe82

Yes, this show glorifies suicide to impressionable teenagers.

Worst show ever made and it should be removed immediately and whoever created it should be fired.

Teen suicide should be addressed but not in a tv show which tries to somehow justify it.

opposing opinions on how discussing suicide should be handled and both of you are 100% correct.

Suicide is a stigma that we are taught to sort of shy away from or not discuss as openly as a tv show.
Yet if we don't start to discuss it openly, many voices will go unheard.

Often people say things or do things to each other, that we may never think twice about,
But to the person on the receiving end, those words may become the only thin they think about. It may take over their lives and destroy them inside.

I know this first hand... because I was the person who caused words to take over someone. on someone I love very much.
I never knew how one argument could have effected my wife so much.
A year after that argument, she finally told me how she still thought of those words everyday.
To me, "Your useless" came out and those words left me forever. I never once even thought about it.
To my wife, those 2 words stuck with her.
I felt so ashamed, and I still do.
Thankfully we were able to work through it. Now, I try to think before I speak. Even in a heated argument as married couples end up having at some point or another.

The point is of this ramble is things stick with people.
We have no idea how the other person interprets what we say.

a reply to: Macenroe82

Well i tried to talk about "it" but my thread got deleted. I never glorified suicide and i did clarify that people should seek help. I just wrote the thread to share my experiences and my insights and as a warning but i guess it's better to just keep pretending this problem does not exist in our society. I had pretty interesting conversations going and it was very civil too. It's a real shame that we can't discuss these important topics here.

I'm not sure if i will watch the show though. I hate teenager drama and some reviews said there is a lot of it.

originally posted by: Macenroe82

opposing opinions on how discussing suicide should be handled and both of you are 100% correct.

Suicide is a stigma that we are taught to sort of shy away from or not discuss as openly as a tv show.
Yet if we don't start to discuss it openly, many voices will go unheard.

Often people say things or do things to each other, that we may never think twice about,
But to the person on the receiving end, those words may become the only thin they think about. It may take over their lives and destroy them inside.

I know this first hand... because I was the person who caused words to take over someone. on someone I love very much.
I never knew how one argument could have effected my wife so much.
A year after that argument, she finally told me how she still thought of those words everyday.
To me, "Your useless" came out and those words left me forever. I never once even thought about it.
To my wife, those 2 words stuck with her.
I felt so ashamed, and I still do.
Thankfully we were able to work through it. Now, I try to think before I speak. Even in a heated argument as married couples end up having at some point or another.

The point is of this ramble is things stick with people.
We have no idea how the other person interprets what we say.

You're right!

Yet too many people living have a heavy heart because they think they did or said something that caused someone they loved to end their life. Trust me, people who have NEVER gotten to the point of actually thinking of ending it can understand why.

Can I give you a view of our flawed mental health system? I will anyways!

The doctors and Big Pharm have NO responsibilities for prescribing the drugs nor the effect of those drugs that they may have on the patient! NONE! As a matter of fact, if you are prescribed one of these drugs by your doctor, and all of a sudden you start feeling suicidal? Guess what? You have at least a 3 day stay at your nearest hospital mental ward! Now let me tell you something, being there ONE TIME, will make you to not EVER want to tell you doctor that those pills are making you suicidal or homicidal!

THIS IS THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM NO ONE IS WILLING TO DISCUSS! The patient assumes ALL RESPONSIBILITY and the doctors and Big Pharm get off SCOTT FREE!

a reply to: Macenroe82

Kudos to you Macenroe for fully supporting your wife as she struggles. Words do hurt and i'm sure she knows deep down that you regret them. Depression and other mental illnesses affect the whole family and love and support means everything to someone suffering.

a reply to: Macenroe82

I watched the first episode and found it absurd. My son, who is 17, said that it is a hot topic at his school and lots of kids watched it and liked it. There have not been any suicides.

Although these concerns are inherent in parenting, and should be discussed with your child, I am of the belief that art rarely influences peoples' decisions. It can be used as an excuse, for sure, but there would have to be a lot of underlying reasons for the child's mental health status to be driven to suicide after watching a tv show.

a reply to: Macenroe82

I can't find a link but, I heard on the news that the Knoxville school system were having in services to address the show and how to relate to kids that may have questions or issues.
So, I asked my soon to be 17 year old if she had heard of the show and her reply was yes, she has watched the whole season.
Asked her if it glorified suicide (in her opinion) and she said no but, it did make her aware of some little things that she has done that may have been perceived as big things to someone else like laughing at a photo or whatever. She says it makes you think about your actions and that perhaps one should strive to be kinder and not get caught up in the drama that is high school.
She thought it was an okay series and that the 'rape' scene was hard to watch.
She felt that the reaction of the school and the people involved came too late, no one cared before the suicide. It was all reactionary instead of proactive to teen bullying and the like.
Just thought I'd share a teenagers POV.
In digital arts class it was discussed briefly.

a reply to: TNMockingbird

You have a very insightful, responsible and mature daughter.
Give her a big hug for me...(not in a creepy internet guy way)
It takes a very mature teenager to care enough to take responsibility for their actions and how they can impact a schoolmates life.
You have a good kid on your hands TN!
I bet you are very proud of her.

I watched the series. In my opinion, any level headed teen will greatly benefit from it to be honest. It pretty accurately depicts the brutal time high school can be, and really makes you think how you could've/can act differently.

That being said, if some kid is already suicidal i can see why there may be concern, but this show, like any other factor in the kids life, will not be solely responsible for their death.

originally posted by: LookingForABetterLife
a reply to: Macenroe82

I haven't seen the program but I think it is a very good idea to get out to todays young people. It should help them by making them think before they act when it comes to being rude to other kids. At least I hope so.

Bullying, teasing, and harassment in the high school world has always been shown in a negative way in majority of secondary education settings. It's only 'glorified' really, in comedies, and even at that, it's satire, how dumb and obnoxious it looks from the outside perspective.

I was lucky enough to be childhood friends with a lot of the 'bullies' in my high school years. I wasn't the most popular kid, didn't partake in many sports, and kept to myself. My few friends I did have were just like me, but were all bullied, and I saw it first hand, but for some reason I was immune because of my old ties with these people.
I even remember a girl making fun of me and calling me a loser and what not and actually being defended by two of them till the point where she was pushed over the edge to tears, it made me feel uncomfortable, and feel bad for her.
I also witnessed a gang of guys beating up someone because he didn't say 'sorry' for bumping into one of them. He ran away, and they chased him, when they all surrounded me and noticed who I was they were all buddy, buddy, asked me where he went, I lied. I'm pretty sure I saved that guys life that night.

High school is a strange place, I was in there at the peak of emotional teenage life, emo kids, the emergence of the 'gamer', internet was still somewhat the wild wild west, punk, heavy metal, gangster rap was at their peak. The social life of a teenager back then was explosive and in your face. Just look at the famous columbine, it happened when I was still in high school.

Now days, it seems like kids are repressed, show no emotion, don't share feelings, they don't even show feelings through media, music, etc anymore. My nephew is 15 and he's extremely secretive.

a reply to: Perfectenemy

Well I'm happy that you at least got a brief chance to discuss this topic civilly. It's unfortunate that the thread got deleted though. I'm not sure what would have prompted that.

I hate teenager drama as well. But with a 12, 10 and soon to be 9 year old, I have a feeling that I'm going to experience a whole lot of it in the coming years.

This show does have aspects that as an adult I can relate to. The victims parents are a main cast in each episode. You see the grief, anger and need for answers coming from them.
It's actually painful to watch.

a reply to: Macenroe82

I believe everyone goes through the same insecurities around the same age, just be honest and dont lie

originally posted by: EchoesInTime
a reply to: Macenroe82

Yes, this show glorifies suicide to impressionable teenagers.

Worst show ever made and it should be removed immediately and whoever created it should be fired.

Teen suicide should be addressed but not in a tv show which tries to somehow justify it.

snap

im going to start watching this tonight

a reply to: Macenroe82

Thanks Mac!
I am proud and we try to keep humanity at the forefront. It's not perfect, we fall short sometimes but, it's important enough (to us) to be aware and strive to do better everyday.
I can relate to you being nervous about high school. Try to be present and accounted for all of the time, keep the lines of communication open and maybe... if we lead by example...we can help to raise some good humans

P.S. NEVER a 'creepy internet guy' LOL all ((hugs)) welcome. You're friends with my friend and my friend's Dad, that's good enough for me!

nothing but programming and conditioning for young minds.

a reply to: Macenroe82

Haven't watched, and won't. The kids won't, either. They are not in public school, so I don't have that concern, but even if they were, I don't see how this show is supposed to help anything. Either someone knows how to treat other people decently, or they don't. A show isn't going to change that.

I think it's likely dangerous; teens tend to copy what they see, and could see this as some bizarre way to gain acceptance.

Is this posed to be a mystery?
I ask, because you mentioned a High School Student, who made some recodings on Cassettes .

Just razzin ya! 😉

On a serious note, kids today have so many more opportunities to be hurt emotionally, because they have so much more exposure via social media. They put out enough ammunition about themselves, that anyone wishing to cause harm (mentally) has everything they need to do so.
It doesnt look like that is going to change anytime soon. I think if we spend some time with our kids teaching them how to seperate their REAL lives and emotions, from their Social Media presence, it will do all of us some good. We should also be teaching our young adults how to properly process their emotions.
A lot of us (myself included) cant really comprehend the amount of pressure on our youth today. We simply think, "you dont gotta worry bout rent, or a job, or car payments, so you got it easy!"
We dont really understand the anxiety brought about by the social media age of today. I remember hating someone who was spreading rumors. Now a rumor can be spread around the world and back in mins. Our youth dont have an individual identity at this age, so their Social Media Presence is their identity. Add that with puberty, dating, college, career paths, and peer pressure, and youve got a hurricane that i dont want to be part of.