Falling: An Epic Fantasy

a reply to: PrairieShepherd

Oh no! Siere's mother may have passed? (right before Mother's Day, like Night Star said...?)
That writer's icy chip has returned I see.

I hate how quickly each section is over, could get so wrapped up in this if there was more. You sure do pick the right place to end it though...always leaving us wondering what's next!

But it was nice to finally get home and see that you'd added more, so I'll stop complaining (lol).

As always, awesome possum!!
(Oh, I liked how you stated the Lanceguard's armor weight in 'stone'...how very British!!)
jacy

a reply to: jacygirl
Well, as far Eveleta Meron's fate, we shall have to wait and see. Siere and others have quite the journey ahead of them. All I will say is that it will not be an easy road.

I keep wondering if my scenes are too thin, like they should have more bulk to them. However, I think back to what JustMike said, that I should write how I write, and not to change my style. So, I guess it is what it is. This is me, this is my story.

"Awesome possum" - ha!
I wonder if the possum is still under the shed outside. My shed, not THE Shed...

73 - A Keen Mind

Siere was thunderstruck. No, Mama! She fought back tears, and a desperate anger welled up inside her. Memories of other people’s lives flashed in and out, and for a moment she felt a wave of vertigo. Can’t you leave me be for just a moment? she shouted at the memories in her head. She managed to keep her face still, though, and cleared her throat lightly.

“Ah, your Highness,” she said evenly, “were you…? Hm,” she paused, fighting desperately to compose herself. The Princess set her hand comfortingly on Siere’s. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to think of something that didn’t carry a memory of her mother. “Were you also informed of the cause, your Highness?”

“I understand from the message that Meioshi Caran believes it is an acute case of the red fever.”

“Red fever,” Siere mused, her mind finally able to latch onto something she could chew. Red fever…headaches, progressively worse; high fever, unrelenting; blood blossoms in palms, eyes, ears, sometimes on thighs and ankles, occasionally under the nails. Severe abdominal pain, lack of appetite but no digestive disruption. Mortality over one in two. Patients that lapse into coma usually last less than two days.

“Thank you for telling me, your Highness.”

“Seeress, I understand you abdicated any claim to Maarke Lithelwaite upon your conferral of the rank of Seeress. You have a sister, yes?”

“Three, your Highness. The High Seat of House Lithelwaite will pass to Baelina – she is the eldest anyway. She will make a loyal and competent Amaerke for your Highness. Baelina is especially skilled politically, and will,” she trailed off, the ramifications of her mother’s death resurfacing. “She will do very well,” she finished softly.

It would crush Baelina. There had always been a special bond between Baelina and their mother. Of course, Lissena and Coryn would both be broken-hearted too, but it would be Baelina that felt the sting worst. She would rise above it, though. Baelina was truly strong, and gifted. She was what an eldest should be. Siere always felt immature around Baelina, and the rub was that Baelina, if she knew about it, would insist Siere was smarter, or more beautiful, or better somehow. That was who Baelina was, genuine and righteous.

“Seeress, I am sending you home. Go see your mother, whether she yet lives or not.”

Siere bit back her instinctual reply. She did not want to go home, not yet. There was too much at stake, too much she didn’t know. All her efforts could come apart if she left now, everything she had worked so hard, so long for. Then a thought occurred to her.

“Your Highness, may I ask, that is,” she hesitated, unsure how to phrase the question. Why in Aomm’s Garden did you summon me here? This could have been done by messenger, it makes no sense. The only reason to meet face to face – it hit her then. Of course. She looked down at her wine, then took a sip and looked the Princess right in her fierce green eyes. Anna Kire returned her gaze, and the corner of her lips turned up slightly.

“Speak freely, Seeress,” she murmured over her goblet.

“You asked me about if I had sisters, yet you knew Meioshi Caran’s name without any hesitation. You knew perfectly well I have three sisters, and likely their names. But you needed to know about who Baelina really is, didn’t you? That’s why you summoned me face to face, to see what I really think. You need to know that Lithelwaite will still be secure, and the only reason you would be concerned about that is if there is a threat from somewhere else. Is it that Makatan warlord, or Queen Rach’s zealous daughter in Mon Ros that has you troubled, your Highness?”

Lady Macosai puffed out a quiet breath and arched an eyebrow. The Princess considered Siere for a moment, the corner of her lip still in a tiny smile. “Are you certain you wish to stay in the Temple, Seeress? You have a keen mind, one that I could put to good use for the realm, I think.”

“I am honored, your Highness, but my calling at the Temple is by far more important than any ambitions I may have in your arena.”

“Very well, then. We have need to speak with the Ladies of the Eastholds, so for that reason – and to ensure your safe travel – you will be accompanied by an ambassador, as well as a detachment of soldiers from the Bastion. They will escort you to Lithelhold.”

Siere privately simmered. Another group of people she had to deal with just to get home, supposedly for her “safety.” Didn’t any of these people realize she was a Seeress? One does not raise objections to the heiress to the throne, however.

“Of course, your Highness. Lithelhold will honored to host the delegation, I am certain.”

I'll have to figure out where I was and catch up.
I try not to read too much when writing to prevent
subconscious idea stealing.

Pretty sure none of this went into my just finished
ebook.

Maybe.

a reply to: shlaw

LOL! Swiper no swiping?

Have fun reading - let me know what you think when you catch up.
Or in the middle, or whatever.

Finally caught up with the latest entry. I swear if you throw more name into this story I shall...I shall... well, I don't know what I shall do, but I have a short memory, I'm old and this isn't helping. LOL

Great entry as always my friend. Carry on!

a reply to: Night Star

Perhaps I can post a list of characters for you.

For Night Star (and anyone else curious):
List of Characters

Main Cast
Gaalen - Lord Captain of the Bastion. Full name Gaalen Hyn Braeghe.

Kaena - Lady Commander of the Bastion. Full name Kaena Quae Milaener.

Siere - Seeress of the Temple of Aomm. Full name Siere Aleini Meron.

Supporting Cast
Elder Poliara - Elder Seeress of the Temple of Aomm. One of a small council of Seeresses and Seers that advise the High Seer in Temple Governance.

Prince Taarvaes Daecullon - Only son of Queen Tirina of Aavelae. Is royalty but will not inherit any titles or lands as he is a man. He is tall and lanky, and harbors a secret only a very few know.`

Princess Anna Kire Daecullon - Oldest daughter of Queen Tirina of Aavelae. Will become queen upon the death of her mother. She is known for her elegance and appearance - the epitome of a graceful, beautiful princess.

Lord Bryn Robaer - Gaalen's close friend from his earliest days at the Bastion. Leads Robaer Color, the military unit of the Bastion supported by Maarke Robaer. They are renowned scouts.

Lady High Commander Kili Eila Macosai - The highest officer of the Bastion, the military organization responsible for the defense of the realm of Aavelae. She has dark skin, light eyes and light hair, is very athletic and quite a stern disciplinarian. She is well-respected in the Bastion and in Aavelae as a whole.

Amaerke Lady Eveleta Meron - Siere's mother. She is the Amaerke - or local ruler - of Maarke Lithelwaite, which is a large estate in the eastern section of Aavelae. She is the High Seat of House Meron, an old, powerful ruling family.

Amaerke Lady Isara Marieca Braeghe - Gaalen's mother. She is the Amaerke of Braeghe Maarke, a large estate on the eastern shore of Lake Naonn, which is in the central section of Aavelae. SHe is the High Seat of House Braeghe, which like House Meron is old and powerful.

Lord Alaniten Meron - Siere's father. He is tall, has dark coloring, and a serious, fierce demeanor. He is a renowned military man, decorated for many acts of valor and well-respected by the men he leads, as well as the other military leaders and nobles in the Eastlands.

Seer Lowaeren - Second in authority at the Temple of Aomm. Has a somewhat impatient, harsh demeanor especially with the initiates and acolytes. Has a special interest in Siere.

Ambassador Tevas Ralan - the Ambassador to Aavelae from Mons Ros. Mons Ros borders Aavelae on the east. Relations between the realms have traditionally hovered between 'tense' and 'hostile'. He is handsome and suave, as well as somewhat ostentatious. However, he's an excellent swordsman and appears to be highly decorated. He also hides a dark secret.

Minor Characters
Joen - Squire for Gaalen. He is 15.

Uwen Gorulyver yi-Braeghe - Gaalen's cousin from his mother's sister's family. He is a bookworm and his father is the Master Librarian.

Mistress Thannen - an apothecary whose secret trade is making poison for a handsome profit.

Lady Eilana Itaericae - A promising young Ladyguard of the Bastion, whom Kaena takes under her wing as a protege.

Casera Anhulis Guentheratis - a half-Burnevali Bearer of the Temple. She has a dim view of men and a cruel fetish.

Seer Daryc Ethenral - A Seer of the Temple and an admirer of Siere for her rumored expertise in healing.

Jedron - an undervalet in the royal palace who was gruesomely murdered

Syna - a young scullery maid and Jedron's fiancee.

Baelina - Siere's oldest sister and heiress to Lithelwaite and House Meron.

Lissena - One of Siere's three older sisters. She is 2nd.

Coryn - One of Siere's three older sister. She is 3rd.

Gesaert Gillan Braeghe - Gaalen's older brother. He was killed in the line of duty at the Bastion.

Lady Lura Braeghe - Gaalen's sister. She will inherit Braeghe Maarke when Lady Isara dies.

Princess Teryn Daecullon - Anna and Taarvaes's younger sister. She is perky and loves to laugh. She has very light-blonde hair and bright green eyes.

Queen Tirina Daecullon - Ruler of Aavelae. She is generally well-thought of. Aavelae is at peace with her neighbors, despite some traditional high tensions.

Daemi - A Bearer in the Temple. She is a devout, faithful follower of Aomm, but sometimes allows her friends to influence her too much.

Waes Donael - A Bearer in the Temple. He is lanky and thin, and eager to serve the Temple.

Princess Peraena Daecullon - Taarvaes, Anna, and Teryn's oldest sister. She died in childbirth, although the baby survived - her daughter Kerala.

Lord Noall - Princess Peraena's husband and Kerala's father.

Kerala - Taarvaes, Anna, and Teryn's young niece. Kerala is 3.

Lord Captain Artan Elerac - Lord Captain of the Bastion. Elerac is a womanizer.

Captain Ronil Wesaden - Captain of the Royal Guard. Military unit separate from the Bastion. Charged with making sure the Royal Family is protected at all times from all threats.

Lady Hiraen Thorowen - Lady Captain at the Bastion. A harsh, strict leader who demands the best out of those she leads.

Galphan - a mercenary with a cruel streak.

Kivioen - assistant to Lady Isara Braeghe and her current lover.

Gaalen's Soldiers
Sir Paralan - a simple soldier who enjoys his leisure time
Sir Etruesdan
Sir Andahl - a rough-looking soldier who exudes violence; yet, he has a perfectly clean kir
Sir Turinen - a reliable and somewhat formal soldier.
Galicarr - young soldier saved from a raid that killed the rest of his family. Is from Siere's section of Aavelae. No longer has any lands or title.
Sir Grond - a rotund and gregarious soldier. He is older - a contemporary of Gaalen's father - and practically wise in many things.
Corporal Baeler - officer of Braeghe Color. Killed while defending Siere from attackers.

I have run into the too many characters issue with other
stories I have in another forum. While I didn't do anything
about it at that time, a few ideas occurred to me.

There are many free rpg character portraits available online.
One could cut out whatever is appropriate for each major
story character and use it as a visual anchor in every chapter.

The way I would do it (if I was motivated enough), is to use
a table for each chapter. The left side of the table would
hold the text/story body, the right side, which would be
much narrower- just enough for a small square portrait,
plus some text beneath to remind readers who the person
is, etc.

Or it could be done some other smarter way I can't think of.

Here's an example from searching google. Not saying any of
these would match up, but you could pick and choose from
everything available.




***let me know when you've looked at this so I can remove
the image from your thread. I wouldn't want to confuse anyone
skimming past.

a reply to: shlaw

Interesting idea, shlaw. I'll have to consider that. My concern is that while I have a picture in my head of how each persons looks and even sounds, I'm not sure I would want to limit the reader in that way.

Robert Jordan used meaningful chapter icons in The Wheel of Time, which ended up actually conveying meaning to the reader in a couple instances. There used to be a whole section dedicated to it in the rawsfrj Wheel Of TIme FAQ - "Iconography", I think.

originally posted by: PrairieShepherd
a reply to: shlaw

Interesting idea, shlaw. I'll have to consider that. My concern is that while I have a picture in my head of how each persons looks and even sounds, I'm not sure I would want to limit the reader in that way.

Robert Jordan used meaningful chapter icons in The Wheel of Time, which ended up actually conveying meaning to the reader in a couple instances. There used to be a whole section dedicated to it in the rawsfrj Wheel Of TIme FAQ - "Iconography", I think.

While all that is true, for myself, I would consider it a temporary measure-
readers of ongoing internet stories are prone to forget characters very easily,
or even the storyline depending on how long updates take.

Of course I am assuming this isn't the permanent home of your story.

But hey, what do I know!

a reply to: shlaw

Correct - not the permanent home. At least not my intention. This is only the primary story arc - there are other arcs. So the complete novel would include those other pieces. That is what I intend to publish at some point.

So I did a search and found one picture I would tolerate using for a character. I found a pretty decent representation of Kaena. No Gaalens, and no Sieres at all.

I think if I was going to do images I would beg an artistic friend - or hire someone - to create headshots of the characters.

a reply to: PrairieShepherd

Hey Shep,
I've been lurking and reading lately, but feeling down so haven't been writing any replies.

Just wanted you to know that I'm all caught up with the story so far, and still loving every minute.

I have each character pictured in my mind, so pics of them would likely confuse me at this point (just my own opinion). Anyways, wanted you to know that I'm still following.

jacy

a reply to: jacygirl

Hi jacy! Sorry you're feeling down. I've missed seeing Danaerys and her white horse in the Shed lately - I was about to send out a "Search Dragon" (that is code for "PM") but here you are.

I always enjoyed the chapter icons of the Wheel of Time, but pictures of the characters always upset me. Even the guy who did the cover art I felt got details wrong. And while some of the fans were supremely talented, and their pictures beautiful, many times I thought, "There's no way that's so-and-so's portrait." It actually frustrated me a bit, because those portraits were never how I envisioned the characters. So I sympathize with your position.

I regret not getting into art/drawing early. Would have been handy
to be able to fill in the visuals myself. Oh well.

As for my suggestion, I still stand firmly beside this part:

originally posted by: shlaw

But hey, what do I know!

Carry on!

Here's another idea (idle minds have nothing better to do I guess)

The great character info you posted will get buried before too
long...

How about either: an image link at the top of every chapter that
could be opened/clicked on, if one feels the need to refer to it.
***this would contain just the text info you've already provided
about each character.

Or, an external link, text or whatever. Otherwise one would have
to search for the buried post.

again... just my two cents.


shlaw

a reply to: shlaw

Ooh, shlaw, you're on to something there. When I was posting in the Shed, I put links to all of the previous episodes at the beginning of each post. That seemed to work pretty well. I can easily do what you're suggesting - nice call.

If every episode had the post-tag for the characters post, it would allow people to open the list of characters in preview mode. However, that's a pretty long preview, so it might make sense to put it as a direct link like I do when I link to episodes in the Shed.

Good idea!

Let's try out shlaw's suggestion:
Click to go to a List of Characters in Falling
Preview of Character List Here

74 - An Invitation

“I had every confidence you would understand, Seeress. Now then, I was just about to have refreshments. Would care to join me?”

“I am humbled, your Highness.”

“Oh, do stop with the title now. Call me Anna. No, I insist!” she said sternly at Siere’s budding protest. “I rather like what I have heard of you, Seeress, and I wish to know more about you. Please, sit.” She gestured to the cushioned chair across from her, then pulled on a cord behind her own chair to ring for the servants. In short order a sharply dressed man entered discreetly through a door hidden behind an ornate screen. “The Seeress will be joining me for our refreshments. See to it, Jassam.” The butler – Jassam, apparently – murmured “Very good, Highness,” turned smartly on his heel and exited.

“Thank you, your – ah, hm. Forgive me. Anna. Please, your Highness, I would be honored if you would call me Siere.” The Princess smiled.

Promptly the refreshments arrived – a light array of breads, cheeses, olives, and fruit – and Siere was impressed with the efficiency of the palace staff. She also found the Princess to be a delightful conversationalist, listening attentively and probing deeply. Between the two of them, she felt they could talk for hours.

Lady Macosai remained mostly quiet, offering the occasional observation or asking clarifying questions, but really offered little. Siere recognized the cautious behavior of a career military woman – do not take sides, watch, listen, observe, understand the situation before responding or taking action.

Talk touched many topics – the various currents in court and international politics, the interactions of the Temple with the Crown, and especially the Eastern Holds. Princess Anna was quite interested in Siere’s assessments of the various Holdladies, their positions, personalities, and anything else Siere could remember about them.

The bell tolled for Taar.

“Siere, this has been an unexpected pleasure. You are much more interesting than listening to old Lowaeren on one of his lectures about the Book of Voices.” She eyed Siere. “Would you come for the evening meal, Seeress? I would like you to meet my brother. It’s the Feast of Commencement tonight.”

“The Prince and I have actually met - briefly, I’ll admit. He is remarkable,” Siere said, choosing her words carefully.

“Remarkable, yes, Taarvy is indeed that,” the Princess said with a sardonic smile. “Oh, do come tonight, please?” she said with an almost-girlish excitement.

“I would be honored, Anna.” As much as she disliked feasts, one does not turn down the personal invitation of the heiress to the Aavelaean throne.

“Excellent. We meet at Saen in the Second Hall.”

Links look good!

I was trying to figure out a way to have 'hover over' text
such as a tooltip or whatever, that would appear when
the mouse is over a character name. Then the description
could go there.

Unfortunately, no dice.

On the other hand, I tend to do things all backwards, so
discovered I could us a link code wrong to get a similar
result.

So without further ado, here is what I call- redneck hover text:

Shlaw
PrairieShepherd

***hover over the above names***



(my browser shows the link info in the bottom left. I suppose others might be different)

a reply to: shlaw

You could probably get it to work somehow. I'm sure there are BBCode gurus who could figure out how to create some kind of alt-text effect. That would be neat. I think a lot of the BBCode effects are not documented, so a google search might help. However, it's DINNER TIME at the Shepherd household! TTYL folks!