Do I have the right to tell you how to treat women?

a reply to: luckskywatcher

I am familiar with emotional abuse. My father was that sort of man, unfortunately. He never laid a finger on my sister and I, but his utter disdain was apparent in every single thing he ever did. He left the family when I was fifteen or so and although that caused difficulties all its own, it at least gave my sister and I a chance of developing some half way normal behaviour. As it is, my sister was not unaffected by all this and nor was I. We both have to work very hard to overcome that total disregard we experienced from him. Luckily, we have the best mother a person could hope for. For all that, as with any parent, she can be frustrating, she is a lioness when it comes to her children.

I think that what happened to myself and my family, is one of the reasons I am fortunate enough to be able to see the wood for the trees where this stuff is concerned. When you see the rot from the inside, you get a better idea of what really drives it.

a reply to: Revolution9

No one has the RIGHT... but does have the freedom to suggest. A lover of all ladies my whole life.. I'd say only the woman (women) have the singular right to demand the level and type of respect they (she) expects from men... boyfriends, significant others, husbands, sons, casual acquaintances, bosses and friends.

You(we) have the right to opinionate about women... but certainly not to control and apply that to them... All women, all ages.

a reply to: TrueBrit

Domestic abuse is not as gendered as you may think -

www.theguardian.com...

So, I wouldn't think this is a "male" problem in the way you seem to be implying.

As to the OP, I agree with you, no-one has authority to tell me how to treat women, within the realms of the law. I will have to live with the consequences of my actions, ie. if I'm a jerk, I will most likely be alone, if I treat women with respect, I will not be.

Great question.

Liberal women on USA women: You can't tell me what to do it's my body I can do whatever I want.
Liberal women on Middle East Women: What's wrong with them being forced to wear a hijab? I literally don't get it.

a reply to: Revolution9

The reality (in America, at least) is that, yes, you have a right to tell me anything that you want to; but on the flip side, I have the right to tell you that you are bat-s**t crazy to think that I'm going to allow you to tell me how to live my life.

This whole BS about unconscious this or unconscious that is ridiculous, IMO. I don't care if I have this or that bias in my life--my biases have generally been constructed over nearly 40 years of life, and I have strived to build them up without concern to race or social class or superficial constructs.

I''ll tell you this, though--my daughter has a loving father who may end up being slightly over-protective, but in the end, she will feel safe with me, empowered by me, and loved by me, and she will always know that I have her back when necessary.

Seeing that this website needs a registration to see the test (according to ColdWisdom) stopped me from reading the article, but not from commenting on what has become a cancer in op-ed pieces--a BS narrative about subconscious/unconscious hate for this or that.

a reply to: Dem0nc1eaner

If forty percent of it is female on male abuse, then how much of it is left? Sixty percent or so, most or all of which will be what? Male on female. Also, far more common than a female killing her husband in a rage, would be a male killing his wife in a rage.

Its not a gendered problem, but it IS a problem which affects a greater percentage of women lethally, than it ever does males.

originally posted by: thekaboose
I would be labelled a sexist by all waves of feminism, I am the main bread earner, I wish for my wife to be a stay at home mum until our daughter is old enough to go to school. I would like to believe I had control over my daughter when shes old enough to stop her dressing like certain women.

I don't consider that sexist at all.

You said "I WISH for my wife to stay home" - - - not "I DEMAND for my wife to stay home".

Someone needs to raise the child. IMO - if you can't raise your own child, you shouldn't have one.

I think also people forget that families used to live near each other, often on the same block. There was always someone in the family to look out for your kid if you had to be away from home.

Control over your daughter? In how she presents herself to the world? That's just good parenting.

a reply to: TrueBrit

Agreed, but you made it sound very one-sided. Like I said, not as gendered as you or others may assume, but yes, abuse towards women likely ends in serious harm more often than vica versa.

a reply to: Dem0nc1eaner

I apologise if I gave the impression that I thought this was a one sided issue. I know it is not.

But as I stated in a previous post in this thread, the near epidemic level of horrific violence visited upon females by their spouses and partners, is of a scale that the opposite situation simply does not match in scale. Thank you for clarifying the situation for the benefit of thread participants though!

There are all sorts of women as there are all sorts of men. To claim to have the key to how to treat "women" is ridiculous.. even if youre a woman saying it. Ive seen the hate of women toward other women... particularly toward women who dont feel they have to be manly to be equal and powerful. I dont have to work a mans job to feel fulfilled or find power or feel Im equal. You may hate me. I dont give one hot damn.

If you treat me like anything other than a "lady" I have little use for you. I wont be treated like your bros or dudes or whatever. I understand the fine dynamic between the sexes and enjoy my role.. my part in it.. and sought out men who fit my ideal. I discovered early on I am almost predatory toward weak men. Men who have bought into the modern feminism BS. I sought out the most alpha males I could find.. who are a dying breed today.. because a strong dominant man is the only companion a strong dominant woman can be happy with. He is also the only kind that can give me what I want. Alpha males arent bullies or etc. They are the ones who are so secure in their manhood they recognize the wonderful mysteries of womanhood and prize it. Others who THINK they are alphas are the bully big man types.. who are in essence weak... and weakness is pretty sour. Stupid silly women go after that type and then wonder why they are miserable and abused.

Im tired of being told who and what I am.. and how I am somehow a horrible human being for being unsupportive of modern feminism being a woman myself. Im sick of this nonsense and it being pushed down everyones throat. To equate a man treating a woman like a precious being as being akin to sexism or abuse is purely idiocy. We have been told for many years it is wrong to see and understand the differences between the sexes. I guess if you buy into that, fine. Just dont tell me or my daughters how to live or how to demand to be treated by men.

a reply to: Revolution9


I agree with equality issues between men and women.

I hope men no longer join the armed services....only women.

Coal miners only women.

Lumberjacks only women.

Skyscraper window cleaners only women.

Diamond and gold miners only women.

Sanitation and plumbers only women.

Offshore oil drillers.....

It is time for men to stay home; learn how to order take out food to feed the family and learn how to operate the DVD player.

a reply to: jjkenobi
No you don't get it. Liberal women in the USA or UK, you don't get to tell me what to do with my body.
Liberal woman on muslim womean in the USA or UK, you don't get to FORCE that woman to remove her Hijab.
Forcing a woman to wear or remove a hijab is the same thing.

a reply to: DeathSlayer
So in your world men do all the useful jobs and women stay home ordering take out and watching dvd's?
Way to run down the role of being a stay at home parent.
Or are you saying men would be really # at being stay at home parents? Which in itself I just wrong. My oh is a stay at home dad, and he does a good job.

a reply to: savemebarry

I don't think you know me very well, everyone gets treated with respect...
If they don't show respect in return and choose to abuse me, I'll disappear - I'm to nice sometimes.

That being said, if an individual is in true need of help, I'll come to their aid any day.

They choose how to treat me, I'll choose how I react.
Don't be a pushover.

originally posted by: TrueBrit
a reply to: luckskywatcher

I am familiar with emotional abuse. My father was that sort of man, unfortunately. He never laid a finger on my sister and I, but his utter disdain was apparent in every single thing he ever did. He left the family when I was fifteen or so and although that caused difficulties all its own, it at least gave my sister and I a chance of developing some half way normal behaviour. As it is, my sister was not unaffected by all this and nor was I. We both have to work very hard to overcome that total disregard we experienced from him. Luckily, we have the best mother a person could hope for. For all that, as with any parent, she can be frustrating, she is a lioness when it comes to her children.

I think that what happened to myself and my family, is one of the reasons I am fortunate enough to be able to see the wood for the trees where this stuff is concerned. When you see the rot from the inside, you get a better idea of what really drives it.

I'm really sorry you had to live like that growing up. I was luckier, my parents although strict, went easier on me than my sibs.

There's a good book, I think worth a look at. I've read it. It explains behaviors and anger issues along with how narcissism effects people on a psychological level.

It's written by a Man who councils other Men. With over 1250 customer reviews, really says a lot.

Biography Lundy Bancroft has spent the last fifteen years of his career specializing in domestic abuse and the behavior of abusive men and is considered one of the world's experts on the subject. He is the author of The Batterer as Parent and several journal articles on abuse that have appeared in The New England Journal of Medicine and The Journal of Contemporary Psychology. The former co-director at Emerge, the nation's first program for abusive men, Bancroft now practices in Massachusetts while training various state and judicial agencies in dealing with domestic abuse situations.

Lundy Bancroft - Book

Do I have the right to tell you how to treat women?

Society itself has a responsibility to tell men how to treat women and to protect women from men who do not treat them respectfully.

Excellent examples of how NOT to treat women come out of Africa and the Middle East and, to a lesser extent, Japan.

a reply to: Revolution9
Yes, you have the right to tell us how to treat women.
And we have the right to agree with you or not.

originally posted by: DeathSlayer
a reply to: Revolution9


I agree with equality issues between men and women.

I hope men no longer join the armed services....only women.

Coal miners only women.

Lumberjacks only women.

Skyscraper window cleaners only women.

Diamond and gold miners only women.

Sanitation and plumbers only women.

Offshore oil drillers.....

It is time for men to stay home; learn how to order take out food to feed the family and learn how to operate the DVD player.

Oh isn't this cute? Another OLD MAN griping about how easy women have it. Which one of these jobs have YOU done, Gramps?

Female me has actually done physical work, I used to work on a loading dock, that was the most strenuous, there have been plenty of other physically demanding jobs I've had. Not to mention cleaning the home which most women do, that's hard goddamned work. Let's see YOU get down on your hands and knees and scrub a floor.

I am drinking with my neighbor friend here who is absolutely infuriated over incompetent men, that's why we're drinking. We live in an old area where everything falls apart and NO ONE seems to know what they're doing. WE DO however - since we're engineers.

I was at a local "municipal office" today and overheard some guy talking to a worker about getting a building permit. The worker said they'd "have their engineers review his plans". I wanted to say to the guy, and everyone else there: There are NO ACTUAL ENGINEERS that work here because if there were THE GODDAMNED SEWERS WOULD BE FIXED BY NOW.

But of course, reasonably sane as I am, that's probably incorrect. The underlying issue is politics - of the sort that who's ever running things (changes often) has to make sure to get their fair share of graft and kickbacks before anything is actually fixed.

"You should've said that!" She says. I am not as bold as her. I witnessed her go off on a rant about a neighbor here, who does not maintain his property, a (clearly rotten) tree went, took out the electric for over a day, which boils down to basically the next time this guy F's over others - she's going to read him the riot act. (Which is a "nice" way of me putting it, her version is a string of threats).

I mention this because I was thinking of that recent fail too - these workers TOOK TOO LONG. Part of it was because the guy dragged his feet on clearing the tree and the electric workers couldn't get in. Another person thinks "the city" got on him to do something. He was dragging his feet looking for the cheapest people or thinking he could do it himself. No. OLD MEN cannot cut down large fallen trees. With what? Your false teeth?

My friend said that she could climb the pole and fix the electric. Sure, why not? If someone is close to 6 foot tall and 160 lbs - that's the same size as a small to medium man - so why couldn't she fix it? She could. We could. I'm already getting roped into this....

I am the same size and muscular. What makes you think a woman could not do this work? If we are THE SAME SIZE as a mid sized guy? OF COURSE WE CAN. And we can do it better and faster too. WE don't need to waste time scratching our balls and talking about the sports scores. WE WORK.

I am reminded of the time my phones failed. At the time I was married to an IT guy and he had no clue. He knew crap about nothing. We had to call the phone co. And then round and round we went. NO ONE could fix it. Until FINALLY - a female phone tech came - and SHE FIXED IT.

What makes you think mothers and housewives have it easy, either? I don't have any kids (by choice) but I know that's all GODDAMNED HARD WORK. Hard physical work - kids are heavy and you have to pick them up - and even worse because it's a screaming banshee you have to deal with, dealing with a 40 lb box as a delivery person might be similar - but that box does not scream, kick, bite, and flail around.

Hey CRANKY GRANDPA - why don't you go volunteer at a day care and see what it's like?

And for all you people who are worried that "women are becoming men" or "want to be men" - OF COURSE WE DO! Men's lives are MUCH EASIER!!!

I'll take that plumbing job ANY DAY over dealing with kids - which is why I don't have any. Or cleaning the high rise windows, or digging coal - I HAVE DONE HARD PHYSICAL WORK AND THIS IS MUCH EASIER THAN DEALING WITH ASSHOLE PEOPLE or irrational kids, which, by their nature or young age - are. Coupled with - "the typical housewife" has a TON OF PHYSICAL WORK TO DO ON TOP OF IT.

Try scrubbing a floor with a couple of screaming toddlers to deal with, not to mention a childish husband whining about his sports team losing at the same time - and get back to me.

She works hard for the money so you better treat her right! - Donna Summer

Now I will address the OP's idea of "Marxism".

Which is ALL WRONG. Read, why don't you? I do, it's not hard to do. And as I said - I studied tech things in school. My friend here did also study business, which is where they learned about all that, and different economic systems. This is why you should be open minded too - because you can meet new people and they tell you things. I'm getting a FREE business education from a University of Chicago graduate!

Yes, these are the things we discuss. What the hell do you think women talk about? Lipstick and pantyhose? I told her some of my ideas and she said that I was basically describing Marxist Feminism. I figured it out by myself! And then I was put on the road to reading about it all, and yes this ideology is what I was thinking and said it much better than I can.

Read more here: Marxist Feminism

Male and female are put into different roles to maximize profits for the Capitalists. Isn't it blatantly obvious? BREED MORE CONSUMERS.

Marxism is NOT Fascist - Capitalism is. Get your ideology straight.

But we know that you Cons and Capitalists are trying to call US Fascists - as deflection.

And none of US (Liberals) are trying to tell YOU what to do - but YOU, and your OVER LORDS who's boots you lick - YOU are telling us what to do!

And the reason why? So the Capitalists can make more money off of your back. By producing more consumers as well as forcing you to work for Big Biz (so you have a steady job and insurance for your new consumer offspring).

Whoever above said that gender is a construct is correct. And it's done to force people into breeding roles, they want to breed humans just like animals to make money off of you. The woman shall breed (more consumers) and the man shall work (for the exploitative Capitalists) - it's ALL designed to maximize the money they can make off of you.

ARE YOU BLIND? I figured this out by myself. It's BLATANTLY OBVIOUS. I did not need any fancy biz degree to figure this out, do you not see what's right in front of you?

(My friend says that I should get an MBA too! Maybe I will. And because I read what these people point me to (net) and books they loan me - "You already know it all and it will be easy! Much easier than eng. and physics." Hmmm, maybe I will! )

I do know - you are wrong about "The Left" and "Fascism". Fascism is the extreme end of The Right, not the left. Crack open a book, why don't you? Google it.

The fact that people are so egregiously wrong about this topic makes me think that they are either a propagandist or a fool who repeats propaganda. Bottom line is - whoever believes this BS is clearly uneducated and needs to crack the books.