True meaning of the words "Lust" and "Adultery" and the misinformation spread by the Church.

a reply to: Abysha

It's more like undoing what you've already done.

There's a difference between:

-looking at someone and finding them sexually attractive

-purposely looking at someone you find sexually attractive in order to derive sexual gratification

Can you tell what the difference is? Hint: Jesus was referring to the latter.

More, you've probably convinced yourself that it is okay to derive sexual gratification from someone who is not your spouse (by looking at people lustfully), and so when you look at people your mind's reflexive action is to immediately look for pleasure from the sight of them.

And that reflexive action? That's not called natural - that's called being perverted - it's a bad habit.

How do we know it's bad? Because of how it negatively effects us: the lust for others creates an animosity or derision that weakens the bond between our spouses and ourselves, and not only that, but it's selfishness, and that in itself can cause all sorts of unloving and whorish behavior if the tendency grows. And then, on top of all that, there's all the emotional damage that can come from it: betrayal, guilt, jealousy, feelings of worthlessness, depression, etc and so forth.

Now, am I saying that I'm better than you? No, but that doesn't give us the right to call bad good and good bad - that would probably be even worse.

Also, you should seek God - he's really cool.

a reply to: Bleeeeep

Man, I don't even know where to begin here. Did you even read my post? You're making a lot of baseless accusations here. How do you know she's convinced herself of that? Your first post came off innocent enough but now you seem to me to be pretty condescending.

What will you say when I tell you that both my wife and I enjoy porn, especially during sex? There's nothing perverse about our sex life. We enjoy watching others have sex while we do so ourselves. When we're done, it gets turned off and we go about our day. She and I both enjoy the sight of a beautiful woman and feel no shame for it.

That "reflexive action" is indeed natural. When my mind notices that an attractive woman is visually, sexually pleasing that doesn't make me perverted, it makes me human. To suggest such a thing is part of why so many people think we Christians are bunch of pompous pricks.

None of this creates any "emotional damage" for my wife and I. In fact, sharing this together has strengthened our marriage and our bond. There is no derision or animosity, no feelings of worthlessness or jealousy. My viewing of another woman's naked body doesn't lessen my desire for my wife, and certainly doesn't decrease her worth in my eyes. Likewise, I know she finds (some of) the men in these videos pleasing as well, I just happen to be secure enough in my own self worth that that doesn't bother me in the slightest. I don't doubt for a single second that she loves me and she never fails to prove it.

You may not be saying that you're better than Abysha, but you're certainly acting like it.

Hop down off that high horse, brother. I'd be willing to wager you've got a whole closet full of your own skeletons.

a reply to: GlassToTheArson

I was not judging you or her - I was explaining what the sin was, how she was confused about it, and why the sin was bad.

I figured someone would think that I was being judgey so I deliberately ended with saying, "Am I better than you? no.", to clarify I am just as guilty, so if I were judging (condemning anyone) I would be condemning myself as well.

And my last point: it probably doesn't mean anything to you, I mean, you're obvious set in absolving yourself from the sin adulterous lusting, but, a part from it being a sin, everything I said about the problems it causes and even how to fix it is pretty much scientific facts (I did not just pull it out of thin air.)

You should look into the science of sex and relationships, I think you might be surprised.