The Dude Abides [YJA2017]

…eyes shut because I know this was going to hurt…

ADVCMWEPYZQPAGJ]GV NALGBVNAFBJL;L;F THE END OF THE WORLD AS I KNOW IT…

But it didn’t hurt at all. I look down at the rag doll that I used to identify as “myself” snow still settling around the poor thing. Grey anorak and black snow pants a stark contrast against white clad peaks and burnt brown rocks.

A sun beam reflects off the mirrored goggles laying halfway back up the slope.

The blue bird day on the mountain ruined by crashing through a snow bridge across the craggy peak tumbling into free space, ass end over tea cups...

...through the air pocket below the snow bridge that had supported the rest of the group and the guide just fine then it somehow shifted its grip when the last one ventured over… the moment elongating to minutes then hours…

seeing the peak on another revolution around…

seeing the wall on the next…

..then the obvious rock out crop directly below..

Slowly,

turning…

…a shocked feeling, then a calmness with almost a smile. Die doing what you love doing, how appropriate is that? Air whizzing by doing whatever it is that air does on a mountain.

There is a feeling of sadness for those left behind and their feeling of sadness for what has happened. The “Aw… SH!T” from the guide mingling with the whop-whop-whop of the helicopter somewhere over a ridge heading to the LZ. The scurrying down the side of the mountain to their fallen comrade… Hey guys! It is OK! See! It didn’t get hurt at all… but there is an unseen barrier and I don’t have any vocal chords… what the?...

“Dude, that was gnarly!,” suggests a voice from behind.

I can only nod or what passes for nodding in this new form.

“The good news is two, usually there is a shock that most people feel when they die,” came a solemn but gentle voice. Again, with nothing clever to say, a dumb nod was my only reply.

“The second thing is… you have been released!”

“Released…” no sh#! I just died!, I said and thought at the same time

“Hey! No need for that here! Yeah, like I said earlier… gnarly!” said a voice I could not quite place.

The voice continued, “Remember all that stuff about Samsara, dharma and karma, ending in Moksha that you studied back in school? Well, dude, there is a reason for that. It was correct! And before you bring up South Park and the Mormons, (was that a riot or what?!),” *sip, sip*, “You reached a clarity at the last second. You did not fight or bitch to some Sky Dude for more time. You accepted fate. You had one hell of a ride!”

“B..bbb.bb..but I’m dead?!!” I lamely stammer.

“Yeah. Bummer,” says the voice from somewhere. “You want a White Russian? Oh, and do you have any vodka?”

“Hey! Why can’t I see you?” I ask in a skulking, pathetic manner.


[Continued…]

a reply to: TEOTWAWKIAIFF

“Oh, yeah. That. You were released from the Wheel of Rebirth because your credit card ran out! You can pay more and we can wipe your memory and send you back in…” said the cool as a button voice.

“Wait! You mean this is a simulation?!!!” I demanded.

“Yeah, dude! We’re those crazy, naked monkey men a trip?! Oh, hold on dude… let me take that off… here you go” said the voice.

I look down and see something that is not human! Strange skin, lying on a blue bed shaped like a tube, and there are rows and rows of similar beds. Long fingers, strange clothes, kind of shaped like a giant bug!

Standing right in front of me is none other than The Dude himself! Bathrobe, beard, black eye and all!

Obviously having seeing the state of confusion before the Dude starts to explain while pushing some screen buttons located where my head had lain before I sat up: “We came across this planet a decade ago. There were normal playback devices but we had to learn their language to really understand their technology.” He hands me a kind of familiar drink that is not a White Russian and continues. “Each team member took turns at various times in their history trying out different figures of merit. But the real fun was when we chose ‘Full Block’ and could only experience their lives as if we were them! Everybody started to talk like them! A dead language being spoke by university scientists totally screwing with the general population… what a time!” *sip sip*

I, standing, a bit wobbly, finished with my energy drink, asked, “Uh, how long was I in there?”

“What?,” said The Dude finishing typing in some notes. “Let me check…,” flipping back a screen or two, “You paid for the 5 day package.” *sip, sip*

I managed to excitedly say, “THAT was five days!!”

The Dude began to lead me by the arm down the aisles of others still in the simulation. “Yeah, there is some accelerated time experience thing that happens… You know those stories of The Ancients you heard while growing up?,” said the Dude with a grin. “They are real! And those naked monkey men were what they were before they ascended! How crazy is that?! This crazy language, sex, politics, religious beliefs, nuclear war, money! Dude is that a crazy concept or what?! And if those crazy, naked monkey men can make it that gives us all hope!”

We come to area with doors to individual rooms. Out steps a person wearing a gown like mine, following a robotic helper down another row obviously ready to go into the simulation.

“Hey! How come you look like the Dude!,” I exclaim after the notion hits that the new person looks a lot like I do.

“Oh, that…,” says the Dude. He reaches for his arm, then kind of flickers out to reveal another being just like myself and the new person. Another flicker and the Dude returns, “Holographic imaging! You should see what Larry does to the Trekkies when they “die.” Dude, imagining “dying” and being greeted by a Borg! That is one evil bastard! But everybody loves the joke at the end.”

We come to a door. I then realize that my stuff lies on the other side. “This is the end of the ride then,” I ruefully ask.

“Yeah Dude, that is how it works,” said the Dude looking at his slippers.

Trying to extend the moment of finality I asked an open ended question, “So what are you going to do?”

The Dude looks up at me, smiles, and said what I knew he was going to say, “The Dude abides!”

The door opened. I stepped through and ended my time in the simulation.

- end –

-TEOT

The Dude (from Dudeism.com Meme generator)

Crazy monkey men on a trip haha love it. Great read!

a reply to: TEOTWAWKIAIFF

Read this twice. Well done.

Ending was great.

bally

There is no death, only the next part of the journey. A continuation of life as we don't know it yet. How could we know?

Like trying to explain "up" to a 2D flatlander.

But when we get there we will understand instantly.

And having no further concern he turned, took one step and disappeared from our 3D perspective.

The beginning of your tale reminded me of this...

Sorry for not answering each of you when you replied. I purposely did not read any other submission while I worked on mine and I'm getting slowly caught up. This is a fun contest!



a reply to: LucidWarrior

TEOT’s own cosmogenesis! I think I’ve said that a couple times now when discussing “The Simulation” hypothesis. I figured I would write what I know! Snowboarding, the simulation, and The Big Lebowski all in one big mash-up. Glad to make you laugh!

a reply to: bally001

Twice? Aw shucks! It does the old “think it is about one thing and then switches it up on you” for good measure. Makes for a little more interesting tale. Reading a couple other that do the same. There seems be a couple themes a lot these short stories have in common. Might be fun to talk about that on the main thread!

a reply to: intrptr

I spent a day figuring out all the BBcode and formatting for the first page. I wanted that feeling of falling, dropping, in a visceral way. Since vids are not allowed (thanks, love those flying squirrel guys!) figured I would do it textually.

I was going to stop there but then it seemed like a gimmick and I needed a title. And figured a little humor needed to be added in. That led me to the karmic cycle of rebirth and wouldn’t it be a hoot that at the end of the day it is just that you did not have enough money to stay in the simulation? Hahahaha!

(Slow) Clap ... clap ... clap.

So.. .tell me... this actually happened to you, riiiiight? I remember you mentioning something similar... allowing for fictionalizations for dramatic effect, that is.

Were the beings we "really" are actually bug like? That would be depressing to want to squash yourself until the simulation finally wore off.

nice Dude, very nice

a reply to: Baddogma

Fictional life stories are the simplest to write! Write what you know, right? LOL

This idea is TEOT's cosmogenisis in a nutshell. I, under the influence of T&C-25, did "seem" to pop out of this reality and did find myself on a grey-blue bed. No, I was not a bug, but I was taller and ganglier. I pleaded with some Greys that seemed to be tending to the beds that "it is too real" (the simulation) to no avail. I then popped back into this place tripping balls! LOL.

So my thoughts are, "if this is a simulation why are we here"? And this short story is another probe against my bias.

Besides, when a Grey closes a door, another dimension is opened!!

a reply to: TEOTWAWKIAIFF

Nice one! I really like the formatting you did

a reply to: UncleSoze

Thank you for giving it a read!



a reply to: FauxMulder

Thank you, sir! I haven't gotten around to replying to all the other entrants (yet) but what I have read have been pretty good too! Been star'ing all entrants, and when something stands out (like the poem), responding. I will try and respond next week when able! I liked your YJA story!!

ETA: Gordi said BBcodes were fair game. So a font change for previous action and thoughts, formatting to emphasize the falling feeling, and a little cosmic/comic relief that helped with the title. This was a fun one to write!!



ETA: Non-writer entrant

a reply to: TEOTWAWKIAIFF

That rocked dude!

a reply to: SprocketUK

Well thank you for the kind words! I saw the reply and just finished yours. And, nice!

This was a fun topic and is another great contest! Judging by the number of entrants, others feel the same!

I have yet to catch up to current entrants this week... I will get around to them today and tomorrow! Everybody has gotten at least a star from me so far just for entering! I am kind of taking my time on responding and flagging but that will have to start soon or I will never make it through them all!

Nicely done, TEOT!

a reply to: PrairieShepherd

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement! Good luck with your entry too!!



I'm not sure about you but this was a blast to write! The hardest part was figuring how to nest the BBcodes correctly! I spent some time in the Freshman Forum looking and trying which ones still worked.

a reply to: TEOTWAWKIAIFF


Funny and clever!

Well done you.

a reply to: TNMockingbird



Thank you! Much appreciated!

A lot fine entries this time around!

Thanks to everybody that has stopped by!