How is my logic about relationships?

I wrote this to a woman recently (paraphrased):

"I'm not looking for a relationship, but I couldn't pass up the chance to be with you." (In case anyone is wondering, she is showing a great deal of interest in me.)

In other words, I'm not going to pursue a relationship with her, but if she asks me to be in a relationship with her than I'm absolutely saying yes.

Why?

My thinking is that I couldn't deal with the regret of refusing her. On the other hand, I have no desire to ask her to be in a relationship with me.

Does that make sense or have I completely lost it?

Well....are you interested in her and attracted to her?

originally posted by: KansasGirl
Well....are you interested in her and attracted to her?

Yes I am.

a reply to: Profusion

Wooooooooooo

First off, never start your note to a woman with the words "paraphrasing" j/k

Is she hot? Is this like a sex thing or long term. I personally will never be in a limp d*ck relationship ever again after my divorce.

It's all different ain't it. Every relationship. I'm just ending one now that was a fiery expense mess. She was mean.

Is it worth getting tangled up in all that emotion?

It sounds like you don't even really care.

Do you?

a reply to: Profusion

I'm not looking for a relationship

Isn't that the most important thing?

a reply to: Profusion

I am not basing this statement on this thread alone, but rather on your history of relationship threads.

You have issues sir.

originally posted by: Profusion

originally posted by: KansasGirl
Well....are you interested in her and attracted to her?

Yes I am.

Ok. Then, why not just go for dinner and see what happens? Date. Just curious why you're assuming the "relationship" scenario right out of the chute.

Or maybe by relationship you mean dating? Are you saying you don't want to take her out on any dates?

Seems like, since you're attracted to her, why not go for dinner and a movie? Take it slow from there.

Dude, don't bring up relationship stuff .

Just ask her out and have fun.
If it works out, let it evolve and flow.

But who am I to give advice. My wife started a conversation that she liked ...... ( x rated stuff) . No relationship was ever intended or looked for at that time. Just some interesting conversations and flirting.

a reply to: Profusion

Nahh that's not logical in my head at least

I also don't believe the bullsh*t "If you love them let them go. "

Nope, if you love them, or want them, fight like hell for them.

That's my logic.

a reply to: Profusion

"I'm not looking for a relationship, but I couldn't pass up the chance to be with you."

No black eye after saying this? Lucky you. Kind of a huge catch 22. If she accepts, then you know you can't take her home to momma. If she denies, then I'm sure that will make you give chase...a little at least.

Good luck, you're going to need it.

originally posted by: Groot
Dude, don't bring up relationship stuff .

This situation is happening completely online. In my experience, it's normal when a man and a woman are having extended discussions online for them to lay out the boundaries such as whether a relationship is a possibility or not. It seems necessary to me when there are so many unknowns involved, and people have very different goals.

a reply to: KansasGirl

This situation is only happening online, and she's in a relationship which is in trouble.

Sooooo...you want to sleep with her but don't want a relationship with her. However, if SHE asks you to be in a relationship, you'll say yes because of....regret if you say no?

Completely illogical. Do you specialize in disastrous relationships because you like drama or because you have a diagnosable personality disorder?

Be honest and tell her you don't want a relationship. Just toss her salad, pay the bill and leave.

Jeesh.

originally posted by: FissionSurplus
Sooooo...you want to sleep with her but don't want a relationship with her. However, if SHE asks you to be in a relationship, you'll say yes because of....regret if you say no?

Completely illogical.

I don't believe in sex outside of marriage unless I'm pressured into it and seduced (it only happened to me once). Your theory doesn't fit the facts.

originally posted by: Profusion

originally posted by: Groot
Dude, don't bring up relationship stuff .

This situation is happening completely online. In my experience, it's normal when a man and a woman are having extended discussions online for them to lay out the boundaries such as whether a relationship is a possibility or not. It seems necessary to me when there are so many unknowns involved, and people have very different goals.

a reply to: KansasGirl

This situation is only happening online, and she's in a relationship which is in trouble.

As did mine. We were both in troubled relationships. Both trying to make it work to no avail. We gave in to escaping those relationships , but not really looking for another one.

It took awhile before discussing some sort of relationship. I understand the boundaries.

I see where you are coming from now.

a reply to: stosh64

I tend to agree - after his fearmongering "Trump in bed with Russia" or WW3 threads went nowhere he seems to have come back to earth with more mundane discussions like relationships with women.

a reply to: Profusion

You have no facts. You have a weird, twisted, and really not worth anybody's time of a thread about whether or not you're logical about relationships. Your response was a HOOT!

You don't believe in sex outside of marriage? Oh my goodness, yet what did you say in your OP?

"I'm not looking for a relationship, but I couldn't pass up the chance to be with you." (In case anyone is wondering, she is showing a great deal of interest in me.)

So then you tell me you won't have sex outside of marriage unless a woman pressures you? How hard would that be with somebody who cannot even keep his story straight?

Seriously. Dude. Either you're a sly comic or a confused Amish boy straight off the farm.

Have fun confusing yourself.

a reply to: Profusion

Why don't you want a relationship? You want to play the field? You don't have your career lined up? Recovering from a break up? Figure that out, first.

Give her the honor of being in a relationship with someone who digs her. Don't waste her time if you're tepid about her.

Just tell her you want to jump her bones and get it over with .

originally posted by: Profusion
I wrote this to a woman recently (paraphrased):

"I'm not looking for a relationship, but I couldn't pass up the chance to be with you." (In case anyone is wondering, she is showing a great deal of interest in me.)

In other words, I'm not going to pursue a relationship with her, but if she asks me to be in a relationship with her than I'm absolutely saying yes.

Why?

My thinking is that I couldn't deal with the regret of refusing her. On the other hand, I have no desire to ask her to be in a relationship with me.

Does that make sense or have I completely lost it?

If a man told me, back in the single days, that "I'm not looking for a relationship, but I couldn't pass up the chance to be with you," I would hear "I don't want a relationship with you, but I'll sleep with you if you insist."

Just saying'

Good luck!

ETA: I can see that you are not the "sleep around" type. That is good! Figure out what "relationship" means to you in the context of being with her. So, I'm confused. Is it that you are not interested in having "a relationship" or that you consider "a relationship" to mean something far more than what most people define it as being? In other words, you seem like someone who is not interested unless you can fully 100% commit to someone.

Can you fully, 100% commit yourself to this woman? If so, why are you hedging?

originally posted by: FissionSurplus

Be honest and tell her you don't want a relationship. Just toss her salad, pay the bill and leave.

Jeesh.

Oh my... Syrup or jelly? And doesn't the tossee usually pay?