I feel stupid - Can someone help me out?

a reply to: YouSir

I worked with a guy that was just poetry in motion operating heavy equipment .At lunch we would chew the fat and I asked him how he got into the bis and how he got so good at it . Now he wasn't a educated man by a long shot . I say maybe grade 8 but it may have been 6 . Any how he said to me that his grandfather told him that if a man built it he could learn to drive it .Its a simple concept and true .I guess removing your own self doubts are key to any and all things you take on ..

Nothing wrong with you.
Many have been there before you.
Try something new like listening to what SADHGURU has to say or read the book by Michael Talbot:
The Holographic Universe or whatever needed that might change your own perceptions of reality.
It all comes down to change the way you look at an intelligent being you.

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid."

Nothing wrong with you, and that's coming from a guy who supposedly had learning issues as a kid, worked his face off and earned a masters, etc, etc. The main issue you're having, and it is the main issue most people have, is confidence and passion. What are you passionate about? Why did you go to college in the first place? Why do you want to do ANYTHING in the first place? Is it to become a high earner, to support your family, or serve others in this world over yourself? Once you know what it is that is your driving passion, the thing that is central to your being, the mission your soul was sent here for, then centralize it, own it and be confident in the fact that nothing will stand in your way to achieve your dreams. Be confident in the fact that you WILL achieve what you want but there WILL be challenges along the way that will make it daunting and seemingly impossible. Learning doesn't happen overnight- it takes a multitude of failures before it'll make sense. If you're not experiencing pain and frustration when approaching something you want, it means you aren't growing and learning and advancing. Even if your learning style is different, figure out what works best for you, internalize it and attack the subject like your life depends on it because in the end, it truly does.

Take it from me; I was told I'd never make it through my first degree and I've failed at most everything I've tried before I've succeeded with it. No man has ever become wise by giving up on his dreams. You are obviously intelligent, so don't let anything stand in your way. Never give up, never slow down. If anyone tells you that you can't, laugh in their face and take solace in the fact that they'll never achieve what you will. Find your passion and you'll find your confidence and the results you want.

Check out The Power of Consistency, by Weldon Long. It had a huge impact on my life, and always keep your nose to the grindstone.

Jack of all trades, master of none, oftentimes better than the master of one. The thing is, the more subjects and topics you are familiar with, the more you can apply the lessons from them to different categories. It's amazing how much those lessons apply to so many different things. Life is going to teach you a lot of hard lessons, it does to us all, but the way you respond to and utilize those lessons is entirely up to you. It may take weeks, months or even years, but you have to work toward your central goal. Don't ever be afraid to fail- just be afraid to give up after you do.

All of this is part of the human experience, so enjoy the ride and make the most of it. At the end of the day, what else is there to do until we get to the next leg of our journey?

a reply to: deadlyhope

You have a very strange case.. it's obvious you are naturally quite bright and have an acute understanding to basic fundamentals.. but I think the problem might be your attention span. Once you look at something that you don't understand right away you get flustered and overwhelmed and maybe subconsciously your brain is fighting between "I don't want to and I want to".

I think when you don't understand something, you should try and not to look at it as a whole and break it down into parts and take it step by step.

Or it could be a matter of confidence as many has pointed out.. you can't do something if you already believe you can't..


Hopefully this makes sense to you

Learning is a funny thing, because different people can have different 'styles' of learning as well as needing different styles of teaching depending on they type of subject matter.

The most important thing is, never sell yourself short and say that you 'cannot' learn a given thing, because while there may very well be things that you are unable to learn, you can't ever really know for sure, so you're better off assuming that you can learn anything, if you can just find the right 'style' of teaching...

My daughter struggled terribly with writing thru her whole first 12 years of schooling, and I was truly worried about what would happen in college -

- fortunately, in her very first college English course the teacher's method of teaching 'matched' my daughter's style of learning, something clicked, and after all those years of struggling, my daughter actually got so good at writing that by the end of the course she was top of the class..


In my own experience - I took 2 years of French in High School, and while I was able to make good grades it was only by means of rote memorization, I never really understood any of it...

...And then years later, in my 30's, (being an avid reader of 'everything') I suddenly noticed that whenever I came across phrases or simple sentences written in French, I could understand them perfectly!

It is such a surreal feeling to have information that you 'gathered' years before, suddenly sort of coalesce into actual ability!

So - while it is important to acknowledge when something just is not 'clicking', because you don't want to be wasting your time...

...it is also very important to never give up altogether, because you never know when the 'click' might happen.

You need to know the Theory of Multiple Intelligences

a reply to: deadlyhope

We all learn differently. Some grok a subject right off the bat. Some have to work really hard a simple subjects.

These are some good guidelines here

a reply to: zosimov

deadlyhope, it is not always top-down. You may find having a conclusion before starting (like knowing where you are going before leaving for a trip) is easier than intro-argument-support-recap then conclusion writing.

Two more aspects not usually mentioned when it comes to writing: reading, and listening. Say what? Listening?! Being an active listener calms your desire to immediately respond (keeps knee-jerk reactions down). You find yourself asking for clarity before responding. Again, you keep emotional responses down.

And reading is good for everybody! You meet a wide range of minds, writing styles, you learn to slow down and be patient. Thing is this is not a skill most cultivate. Read more than just Stephen King books! Both fiction and non-fiction, classics, modern novels, funny novels, foreign novels, philosophy, science, poetry. Seriously. Always switch it up so you do not burn out on one author.

You are not stupid if you cannot write. You just do not have the practice is all. So, read, listen, practice. Then you will do!

I enjoyed reading your post. It spoke to me because throughout my adult life I have wondered if I myself am missing something in the intellectual department. And I just might be… But I don't care, that is as much as I used to.
People who excel at things, can usually grasp harder concepts as they grapple with the challenges of the interesting subject. I have developed my creativity since childhood, but my art never took off until I started expanding my skills. And expanding my skills was not always fun or easy, but it has been a satisfying journey.
Now that I have methodologies, creativity, and a skill that use of tools and surfaces, it is time for me to start learning other skills – like business skills and the art of conversation. Knowing a bit of art history would sure help me as well.

a reply to: deadlyhope

Lineage
You attained/retained genes of your parents… seems they have taught you well.
Because you are aware at this point what you may feel about how your brain operates---
Motor skills are natural but increase with practice, eg; piano.
I get the impression you are under 30 and haven’t yet grown into yourself.
Give it time and practice, you’ll be great.

I don't even want to tell a stranger what their problem is. Your post made me think of something I found out about myself... if I share it maybe it could be something you recognize...or maybe it won't. I can't know.

I realized, as an adult, that I was lazy. This sounds really stupid. But I have actually noticed it in a lot of kids who have an easy time with things because they are relatively bright, and haven't been challenged much. When it is so easy to get results that are slightly above average, you get used to doing just enough for the adults to ooh and aah, and stopping there. You don't get used to really straining over big challenges!

I was just slightly above average in intelligence, and many people found me pretty. So I think I got off easy in a lot of situations, work and school, when I was young. I wasn't always conscious of it, or I just chose not to acknowledge it. I told myself I worked harder than everyone else.

I now believe that wasn't true, I was in denial, and I was lazier than I wanted to admit. I didn't learn to really strain to succeed until I was an adult, around 30. This is really hard to admit; I was so ashamed to realize it. But to just deny it would not help me change it.

I think anyone suggesting that when I was young would have greatly offended me. You only face things when you're ready. But if you are still putting yourself in low level jobs, or contexts where you know beforehand you'll shine, you might be avoiding real challenge.

originally posted by: deadlyhope
So, I feel like I lack some form of intelligence in general, and it's hard to figure out. Realize that nothing below is any sort of tooting-my-own-horn but rather building up to why I feel I lack some cognitive ability others seem to inherently have.

I've always scored higher on tests than other people - Even college placement exams, I'm in the mid-higher, or in the top tier in all subjects including math, science, reading comprehension, etc.

I enjoy a large amount of topics, and comprehend the basics of a lot as well. My doctors/dentist often express they are impressed with how much terminology and general knowledge I have of either their occupation, my cardiologist told me there's no way I should continue being a cashier as I gave them the impression that I was more intelligent than many of their colleagues, and my dentist said I'm more familiar with the terminology used in his office than his assistants.

I always quickly become one of the best workers anywhere I work, even people that have worked their for years can't keep up with the rate at which I learn and master the tasks given to me, this has often put me on the fast track to promotions, raises, and some negative things like being the "favorite" of upper-management.

High-school had no challenges for me at all. I got mostly A's without even thinking about it. I slept through many classes, did homework on the same day, and just overall didn't apply myself, but yet none of that showed. Teachers still liked me, grades were great ( high honors roll ), things like that.

Now, the part that makes me feel like I'm really not intelligent. More of a master of mediocrity.

I failed college because I could not grasp how to write a report/essay. I tried a few times, and got terrible grades on those - None of it made sense to me. The flow of it, the reason behind it, the concept, how to put it together, how to present it to another person and have them get something out of it. I believe this can be confirmed by going through my posts - Try finding something of substance that infers that I'm actually capable of following current events, try finding a good list of sources given, proof, an amount of intelligence... No, most of my most popular posts are simply partisan banter.

High school was simple because I took simple classes. No advanced placement or college courses, just the basics for everything, and only what I thought I would be interested in. It was simple memorization and regurgitation, it took no further thought, no comprehension and exploration, no amount of growth. Just the mediocre task of remembering what I "learned" a few days before.

I've worked at two different walmarts, a pizza place, and a hotel. All entry level jobs. While I was definitely above/beyond all of my coworkers ( Walmart literally had efficiency standards that were expected/recorded - I was on top ) I don't feel this any great task. To put items on a shelf faster and more accurately than the next person does not require very many skills, nor advanced skills. Management wanted to promote me because I was on top in this area, but I never felt I had the ability to be anything higher. Effective leadership, responsibility, creativity... I never felt I had those attributes.

No trade skill makes sense to me - Mechanics, plumbing, electrical - I can grasp the basics and turn a wrench, help put two pipes together, or wire an outlet but looking at a electrical box, I just get lost no matter how much it's explained to me. Attempting to fix even minor things with my vehicles or house issues also seems to be beyond my ability.

Now, you may think that my major issue has to do with a "can" or "cant" frame of mind, or that confidence is the key thing I'm missing rather than an inherent ability to grasp deeper concepts or to do more advanced work in an area, but I would disagree. For instance, I feel quite competent with computers and technology in general, and enjoy computer programming - But get extremely stuck when it comes to higher-level programming. There's been programming tasks that I've tried to tackle and I simply cannot comprehend it - How to figure out how many paths you can take in an array of squares stacked on each other, or the like.

Same goes with other things - I really enjoyed checkers for instance, so I tried to learn chess. I realize how all of the pieces can move, but to make them work together, plan ahead, and assume what the other player might be able to do themselves... Hours of trying to interpret a screen ( digital chess ) and I get nothing. I can't comprehend how others can strategically figure out what they can do next, and what their opponent can do next.

Anyways, what do you think? Learning issue? Personality issue? Non-issue?

Thanks for your time.

-Deadlyhope

Sad that you feel stupid. Not a fun feeling to have.
It's relative though. So if you hang-around with a bunch of idiots: you'll eventually feel not-so stupid.

Don't even worry about the self-confidence thing. It seems in Western society, that the majority have a vastly overrated sense of self-esteem.

Everyone is lacking in some form of intelligence. Nobody is perfect. Not a single one of us.
But we are the best we can be. You are the most perfect you, that you can be, right here, right now.

So you're not good at writing book reports. So stop writing book reports.
That's it, that's all. As simple as that.

Do what you want to do. Life is short. If you want to sit in your basement playing video-games all day: then do it.
When you hear that little voice saying:" you're 24 now, and you've got to get out there are get a good job". Don't listen to it.
When you see a friend posting pix of his new car on faztrick: don't let yourself be envious of him.
When a faint voice from above says: "Supper's ready". Do listen! Because it's Meatloaf Monday, and your mam makes a really tasty meatloaf! And that sauce! What does she put in it? So yummy!

Un-drink the kool-aide.
Imagine, and contemplate for 5 minutes: what if the entirety of The American Dream, was removed from influencing you? No more working hard at things you hate. No more sacrifice.
Just walk in nature, instead of spending countless hours of your youth, in a stuffy room, loaded on caffeine, and trying to cram other peoples ideas into your own head.

What would you do, if you didn't have to do anything?

A basic essay is a piece of cake. Really.

Just come up with one sentence that is your big idea.

Example: I like cake.

Then come up with about three ideas that support your big idea.

Examples: You can make a cake look like anything. There are lots of different kinds of cakes. Cakes are great for celebrating.

Then you write five paragraphs.

In the first you tell 'em what you are gonna tell 'em. This is your big idea + your three supporting ideas for paragraph one. Then your next three paragraphs are your supporting ideas with about two to three sentences explaining and illustrating why those make cake so great. And then in your last paragraph, you revisit paragraph one to tell 'em what you just got done telling 'em.

It's extremely basic, but it gets you practice organizing your thoughts in writing and lets you start branching out into other types of writing like persuasion and the like.

Thank you everyone for your replies! I am at work right now and don't have time to reply to each post, but I am very grateful for all of your responses and am working on digesting them right now.

Perhaps some of you are correct - Shallow things come really easily to me, and I'm seen as competent right off the bat, but I never do apply myself further than that. I never dig deep, and really push myself until I fail, get back up again, and try harder.
I've never used a huge amount of effort to do anything, I've never struggled, I've never really faced challenges.

a reply to: deadlyhope

My suggestion of looking into your personality type may hold the key for you . Its amazing how one little tweak can unlock or explain our human condition . Knowing that something may be wrong and figuring out how to fix it is another thing worth looking into . I got my confusing brother to take the test because I couldn't make heads nor tail of the man . Once he took the test and I read his personality profile it didn't fix him , but it helped me make sense of him and after that I wasn't confused . The profile had personal info and steps he could take to address the issue if he wanted to but like the saying goes , you can lead a horse to water but cant make him drink won the day .

a reply to: the2ofusr1

I've taken a really lengthy one, this was a bit of time ago but not too long - I came out as INTP I believe, maybe INTJ. Does anyone have a link to a long one?

Just took one now, thinks I'm ISFP.

a reply to: deadlyhope

You can't begin to memorize a method without first understanding it? People seem to be highly proficient idiots? You learn well on your own, but poorly from others?

If so, then probably this:

You:
conceptualize
methodize
memorize

And they:
memorize
methodize
conceptualize