I feel stupid - Can someone help me out?

So, I feel like I lack some form of intelligence in general, and it's hard to figure out. Realize that nothing below is any sort of tooting-my-own-horn but rather building up to why I feel I lack some cognitive ability others seem to inherently have.

I've always scored higher on tests than other people - Even college placement exams, I'm in the mid-higher, or in the top tier in all subjects including math, science, reading comprehension, etc.

I enjoy a large amount of topics, and comprehend the basics of a lot as well. My doctors/dentist often express they are impressed with how much terminology and general knowledge I have of either their occupation, my cardiologist told me there's no way I should continue being a cashier as I gave them the impression that I was more intelligent than many of their colleagues, and my dentist said I'm more familiar with the terminology used in his office than his assistants.

I always quickly become one of the best workers anywhere I work, even people that have worked their for years can't keep up with the rate at which I learn and master the tasks given to me, this has often put me on the fast track to promotions, raises, and some negative things like being the "favorite" of upper-management.

High-school had no challenges for me at all. I got mostly A's without even thinking about it. I slept through many classes, did homework on the same day, and just overall didn't apply myself, but yet none of that showed. Teachers still liked me, grades were great ( high honors roll ), things like that.

Now, the part that makes me feel like I'm really not intelligent. More of a master of mediocrity.

I failed college because I could not grasp how to write a report/essay. I tried a few times, and got terrible grades on those - None of it made sense to me. The flow of it, the reason behind it, the concept, how to put it together, how to present it to another person and have them get something out of it. I believe this can be confirmed by going through my posts - Try finding something of substance that infers that I'm actually capable of following current events, try finding a good list of sources given, proof, an amount of intelligence... No, most of my most popular posts are simply partisan banter.

High school was simple because I took simple classes. No advanced placement or college courses, just the basics for everything, and only what I thought I would be interested in. It was simple memorization and regurgitation, it took no further thought, no comprehension and exploration, no amount of growth. Just the mediocre task of remembering what I "learned" a few days before.

I've worked at two different walmarts, a pizza place, and a hotel. All entry level jobs. While I was definitely above/beyond all of my coworkers ( Walmart literally had efficiency standards that were expected/recorded - I was on top ) I don't feel this any great task. To put items on a shelf faster and more accurately than the next person does not require very many skills, nor advanced skills. Management wanted to promote me because I was on top in this area, but I never felt I had the ability to be anything higher. Effective leadership, responsibility, creativity... I never felt I had those attributes.

No trade skill makes sense to me - Mechanics, plumbing, electrical - I can grasp the basics and turn a wrench, help put two pipes together, or wire an outlet but looking at a electrical box, I just get lost no matter how much it's explained to me. Attempting to fix even minor things with my vehicles or house issues also seems to be beyond my ability.

Now, you may think that my major issue has to do with a "can" or "cant" frame of mind, or that confidence is the key thing I'm missing rather than an inherent ability to grasp deeper concepts or to do more advanced work in an area, but I would disagree. For instance, I feel quite competent with computers and technology in general, and enjoy computer programming - But get extremely stuck when it comes to higher-level programming. There's been programming tasks that I've tried to tackle and I simply cannot comprehend it - How to figure out how many paths you can take in an array of squares stacked on each other, or the like.

Same goes with other things - I really enjoyed checkers for instance, so I tried to learn chess. I realize how all of the pieces can move, but to make them work together, plan ahead, and assume what the other player might be able to do themselves... Hours of trying to interpret a screen ( digital chess ) and I get nothing. I can't comprehend how others can strategically figure out what they can do next, and what their opponent can do next.

Anyways, what do you think? Learning issue? Personality issue? Non-issue?

Thanks for your time.

-Deadlyhope

a reply to: deadlyhope

You're not stupid.


You are just finding out how it feels when for one reason or another you don't fit the mold designed for you to fit into a pre ordained society.


I have often though about how many people who have been institutionalized for a mental illness have had insight as to ideas that could possibly change and save the world. Yet, because they were deemed mentally defective, those ideas and thoughts are gone forever hidden behind a daily regiment of drugs........

a reply to: deadlyhope

Only question is how are you incapable of writing up a report? While not a brilliant writing(that's limited to truly great pieces of literature) this post serves as an example as to your writing capability. This post is well written. Simply put you need to change the tone from one questioning to perhaps more argumentative(depends on the report I suppose).

a reply to: deadlyhope

Maybe you could be an elementary school English teacher?

Mastery of the basics ie. grammar, spelling, usage... seems to be lacking these days. This may be something you could excell at.

As far as a learning disability? No idea.

a reply to: seeker1963

Are you implying that my true talents and passion could be in an area that this society does not actively promote, or even give clue to it's existence, or what?

I don't feel as if I need drugs, or anything is specifically an illness, just that for some reason my ability to grasp onto deeper concepts seems to be less than others, and spreads across a large amount of subjects.

a reply to: watchitburn

Perhaps, but I'd really love to open up the minds, the creativity, the passion of a student. To figure out what they love, what they want to explore - But sure, I could show them how to memorize, perhaps.

The day I quit learning is the day I die.

A mistake is not a mistake if you learn from it, it is a learning experience.

You can learn from things if you are interested in them, stir interest and you will want to learn about them.

There is nothing you can't do, if you want to. You may have to work hard to gain the knowledge or money to do it. But make sure it is something that you will not regret later on. Make sure you are on the right path.

Pay attention to what others say and do, someday it may be relevant, even if it is wrong you can learn what not to do.

These are things that I base my life on. Some I learned from my father, some I learned on my own long ago.

a reply to: deadlyhope


Ummm...I'm not a psychologist so I really can't speak to disabilities etc...

I will however relate to personal experience...When I was in school I couldn't do higher math... I thought it was some kind of mental hitch either physical or non...However a few years ago I took a small course on algebra...geometry...calculus and trigonometry...
Low and behold...it was easy...the block was all in my mind...that aspect that told me ...I couldn't do it...

Way back there in high school...I placed that block in my own mind...

Now...whatever I choose to accomplish...I do...I tell that defeatist voice...to sit the hell down and shut the hell up...
For me...it's as simple as that...




YouSir

originally posted by: deadlyhope
a reply to: seeker1963

Are you implying that my true talents and passion could be in an area that this society does not actively promote, or even give clue to it's existence, or what?

I don't feel as if I need drugs, or anything is specifically an illness, just that for some reason my ability to grasp onto deeper concepts seems to be less than others, and spreads across a large amount of subjects.

Not suggesting you need drugs at all!

Embrace who you are, and use your strengths, (things you excel at and enjoy) and not give a damn about categorizing yourself due to the things you feel you are weak at.

The other option is if the things you are weak at make you feel the way you did when you posted this OP, is to work to strengthen those areas that bother you?

Don't think of it as a "report" or "essay" pretend it's a ATS post because your OP was very well written.

Best of luck.

originally posted by: seeker1963

originally posted by: deadlyhope
a reply to: seeker1963

Are you implying that my true talents and passion could be in an area that this society does not actively promote, or even give clue to it's existence, or what?

I don't feel as if I need drugs, or anything is specifically an illness, just that for some reason my ability to grasp onto deeper concepts seems to be less than others, and spreads across a large amount of subjects.

Not suggesting you need drugs at all!

Embrace who you are, and use your strengths, (things you excel at and enjoy) and not give a damn about categorizing yourself due to the things you feel you are weak at.

The other option is if the things you are weak at make you feel the way you did when you posted this OP, is to work to strengthen those areas that bother you?

When I was young, many people would suggest I go out to the bars and have a few when I started to question things. If someone started talking like that you offered them a bottle of beer, or a glass for the keg.

I guess I forgot that overthinking things is not considered socially acceptable, but screw society, I am over sixty now and am allowed to act like an old Koot.

The flow of it, the reason behind it, the concept, how to put it together, how to present it to another person and have them get something out of it. I believe this can be confirmed by going through my posts

I don't know about others Hope, but you managed this OP perfectly for me at least to get something out of it.
I seem to run that same course. In some areas I am highly competent, while in others I am a blundering fool. To me the biggest problem for most of us is being so enamored with our competence when we let it spill over and blind us in our blundering foolishness.

Hi there!

Writing takes practice and mastery of basic templates (you can add your own variety later). I'm sure you could master the skill if you tried. Not that you have to be a great writer in order to be intelligent, but it is undoubtedly a good skill to acquire.

Here's a few hints that help me
*usually better if personal pronouns are not used.
*well researched and thought out. Outline optional but recommended.

Introduction: contains opener and thesis. Should be attractive to majority of readers and relevant to topic. Thesis should be clearly written and easy to identify.

Body Paragraphs should contain your main (at least 3) arguments, as well as examples and sources to back them up. You could add a paragraph (in a persuasive essay) referring to and refuting the opponents' main arguments or not.

A well written conclusion that contains the final thrust of your argument. The best works have a clear and established goal, are written with a reader in mind, end and begin well, flow nicely between thoughts, and present compelling arguments while acknowledging opposing viewpoints. IMO.

Hope this helps!

Same here buddy, I passed my private highschool entrance exam in 7th grade, scored college level in 8th grade. Totally lost interest in school because I could not grasp math.

Total high school dropout here. But I did go to college and I got a degree.

So there you go.


But that's nothing, my brother had both remedial and gifted classes in the same year.

I don't think this is a sign of stupidity, in fact quite the opposite. You are clearly bright and capable.

A lot of your issues are not related to being unintelligent, they are to do with missing pieces of the puzzle. You can't just know how an electrical box works, or how to apply the math/logic to solve a programming problem no matter how intelligent you are, you have to learn how it works and draw from a larger pool of developed knowledge about the subject.

The old "jack of all trades, master of none" applies to me, I wont go as far to paint you with that brush as I don't know you, but I have taught myself to do many different things over the years to an average level by learning the things I want to learn, but I have never devoted myself fully to become an all encompassing genius of the subject. The difference between a master and an above average hobbyist though is that a master learns the things he/she doesn't want to learn as well. At this stage almost any problem relating to the subject is solvable.

Simple example:

• John decides he wants to build a video game. Nice. John knows programming to an above average level and building the engine is a sinch. But how is he going to populate it with characters, buildings and other assets? John has three choices, give up on the project of building an entire game and sell the engine, learn how to do it himself or hire someone else to do it. John decides to fill in his knowledge gap and learn how to use 3D software.
  
• John, did it, he learnt the ins and outs of making assets in 3D, he didn't really want to but he did it and expanded his knowledge of game development. But wait. How will he texture them?
  
• John has to now learn how to use Photoshop to render the textures. Good work John, but what about animation? .etc until all aspects of game development are understood or he gives up.
  

Similarly this applies to your chess example, you don't have the necessary experience to become a grandmaster overnight. If all it took was to know where the pieces move, nearly everyone would be a godly chess player. What you are missing is gamesense which can mostly only be taught through failure and success. This is something that will take years to understand and this is the part where many would quit. You have to want to learn.

Learning is a strange and mystical fruit. Some people want to eat it all up, others are not so fussed.

originally posted by: YouSir
a reply to: deadlyhope


Ummm...I'm not a psychologist so I really can't speak to disabilities etc...

I will however relate to personal experience...When I was in school I couldn't do higher math... I thought it was some kind of mental hitch either physical or non...However a few years ago I took a small course on algebra...geometry...calculus and trigonometry...
Low and behold...it was easy...the block was all in my mind...that aspect that told me ...I couldn't do it...

Way back there in high school...I placed that block in my own mind...

Now...whatever I choose to accomplish...I do...I tell that defeatist voice...to sit the hell down and shut the hell up...
For me...it's as simple as that...

YouSir

Man?

I was the same way! I barely survived algebra in HS.

At the age of 38 after getting out of the military and working for minimum wage or a tad better at different labor jobs, I went to college and found it so simple to learn.

Maybe it was because I knew I had to pay every penny back on that college loan I took out which gave me an incentive to learn versus graduating from HS and relying on my parents to pay for my education?

a reply to: deadlyhope

You have to immerse yourself in whatever you want to learn in order to rewire your brain.

originally posted by: deadlyhope
Anyways, what do you think? Learning issue? Personality issue? Non-issue?
Thanks for your time.
-Deadlyhope

It seems to me that you have a very good mind, but just failed to develop it.

You have a natural common sense...but..

You haven't challenged yourself.

It looks like you have a good memory, which makes some things easy for you.

On the other hand, that same good memory made you relax and not work on the more challenging things that require a greater depth of logic and reason.

You avoided those more difficult advanced subjects that would have required more work.

In other words, your good mind made you lazy.

Sorry to say, but that happens.

The problem is that, in our youth, our teens and early adulthood, is the time to struggle and challenge our-self with difficult academics. This stretches the mind and develops our mental abilities at a time when our brain cells are making connections. Once we reach full adulthood, we're stuck with whatever capability we've developed in our youth. So, there's no fix for what we missed, by taking the easy path in youth.

The brain is just a muscle. By going to the gym and working out, we develop our body. By working on challenging academics we work out our brain, and develop the mind.

Other people, born with less mental ability than you, have passed you, because they struggled to overcome their difficulties, while you were coasting through life on your natural abilities.

That's all that has happened.

You notice this in your life, that somehow, people around you seem to lack that basic common sense intuition you have, yet do better than you in some key areas. It's all about the effort you put in, verses the effort they put in, to acquire that ability.

The same would happen if you were born with great natural muscular physique, but never bothered to go to the gym, because you didn't need to, in order to look good, and then found that there were many people who seemed to have greater physical abilities than you, despite your natural looks, even though they didn't look the part.

It's all about training the right muscles.

a reply to: deadlyhope

If I may ..."It was simple memorization and regurgitation, it took no further thought, no comprehension and exploration, no amount of growth. Just the mediocre task of remembering what I "learned" a few days before. "

That is called drinking the kool aid or better yet teaching you what to think and not how to think .

It seemed or seems that you were a very good product of your indoctrination .Excellent comapred to others in fact .

"" Effective leadership, responsibility, creativity... I never felt I had those attributes. "" You may be selling yourself short because of your keen awareness or better understanding of what those things should be . There is a saying , close enough for Government work . Think about the milatary where following orders and not thinking rules the day .Its much the same in buisness where tasks are expected to be followed and if they want your imput they will ask .

""No trade skill makes sense to me - Mechanics, plumbing, electrical - I can grasp the basics and turn a wrench, help put two pipes together, or wire an outlet but looking at a electrical box, I just get lost no matter how much it's explained to me. Attempting to fix even minor things with my vehicles or house issues also seems to be beyond my ability. "" seems to be ...You know its not beyond you .Some of those trades take years to master and figuring out at a glance .That is why most have the journey man attached to them .

""Anyways, what do you think? Learning issue? Personality issue? Non-issue? "" lets go with Personality issue for the sake of argument .My advice for you is to take the test www.humanmetrics.com... see what type you are and then look at the ins and outs of it You might find your answer there . best of luck

a reply to: deadlyhope

The only glaring problem I see that you may have is confidence.

You have plenty of achievements that should be loading your vault in your confidence bank, but it is hard being young and defining yourself in a competitive society. It should come in time, hobbies that you're good at definitely help.