To go to school or... not?

Lol what the fug I haven't even written it and my phone posted it by accident.

So now I feel pressured to do it quick.

So people at my job have begun to ask about school recently and I knew that this day was coming... and it is as awkward as I imagined it would be. I just randomly stopped attending the last semester of school, because I don't even know why? Because of PTSD? And I don't even know what to tell people. Because I am going through a really intense period of my life where I question everyday what this life is for and is it worth it.

Each semester in school got harder and weirder for me too, socially. Mentally and emotionally. I became more paranoid, scared, and uncertain with every semester even though I was receiving very high marks and I have the certificate of an honors society and a letter about being on honor roll or some sh-t to prove it. Maybe I got cold feet. Maybe I was so wounded in my childhood that school basically hurts me forever even though I enjoy learning new things. The people are weird to me... never quite felt like I belonged anywhere and now I don't know where to go.

Even though I just quit last semester and probably failed those classes, I could still probably apply to new schools and try to transfer with my portfolio like I was going to try to do anyhow. I have maybe 60 credits already from a community college. I am 33 yrs old.

What do you guys think? Should I go into major debt for an education? Will it really help me? My major is Graphic Design.

Or maybe I could just get a job already doing something somewhat in that field and become an entrepreneur and start my own business. Which I am planning on doing either way, school or no school. I will be fixing my computer situation(still on my phone) eventually and start working on that.

Idk guys. What do you think?

Drop the phone and go to school young lady

a reply to: geezlouise

ughh..

Geez Louise!

haha.

originally posted by: geezlouise
Oops on my phone wait!!

I really hope this rant turns out to be as ditsy as it promises to be.

a reply to: geezlouise


Lol, this had happened to me several times.

Don't even worry about it.

Take the comments in stride

I don`t believe that the price of higher education is worth what you get for your money.
I wouldn`t do it.
before the internet, paying for an education was the only way to learn anything.The internet changed all that you can learn just about anything on the internet if you don`t mind searching and reading a lot.

I wish I could say something useful, best of luck no matter what you decide.

a reply to: MagesticEsoteric

lol and trying to star people's posts on my phone makes me feel incredibly inadequate and challenged at times, both physically and mentally.

a reply to: geezlouise

Yes, you should go back to school. There is no reason not to try again. Good luck

originally posted by: geezlouise
Should I go into major debt for an education? Will it really help me?

You and I have talked privately about this and you know my own path as well.

You have potential which is immediately noticeable in your work. Perhaps working with a gallery or moving to a locale that has other artists who you can work with and that can help you would be better than dumping money into a college degree that you may or may not use.

Let's imagine that the last semester business (stopping going to classes) is all cleared up and washed clean. Now think about going back to school. Does it make you feel excited? A little more alive? Eager?

Or does it make you feel heavier, tired, ambivalent, or numb?

Taking note of how you feel when you consider going back (after the last semester is sorted out, which it can surely be), may help a little in figuring out where to head next.

Keep us posted and good on ya for confronting this! 😊

originally posted by: geezlouise
What do you guys think? Should I go into major debt for an education? Will it really help me? My major is Graphic Design.

You know I don't BS with you, right?

Get your butt back into a chair and lock down that degree.

Why? You ain't gonna get it any easier if you wind up with a rug-rat to take care of ... or a lazy husband who keeps you in the kitchen makin' him sammiches.

Could you get by on a cert? Maybe. But are you gonna have the time to get it renewed when the time comes? Your degree is good for as long as you need it to be. Once you've got the piece of sheepskin in a frame ... no one can judge you on anything other than the talent you wield.

Good answer?

a reply to: geezlouise

What do you guys think? Should I go into major debt for an education?

I did that. And I regret it.
In the end, after all the grants, and loan forgiveness from lack of work, it still cost me at least $20,000. That was years ago, so at least triple that figure for current costs.

Find courses free or cheap, through online courses. Do many, practice lots. Some of them must give credits/ diplomas/degrees....

a reply to: geezlouise

Never give up on your dreams...keep fighting for what is right for you. If you need money find some work and finish what you started and keep applying to jobs or create your own company! Best of luck to you

a reply to: geezlouise

Yea I know the feelings you are talking about. In fact I was kicked out of highschool for skipping too many days even though I had mostly As, went back to school year later and quit half way through.. Then some time later I decided to go to continuing education at community college and quit going with 1 class left to finish High School.. Then I got my GED..

Then I went to a community college and did al right for a year think 3.2 GPA not terrible, but then I stopped going.

I don't know what it is about me. I absolutely can't stand being in school. Part of it for me is I absolutely cannot want to learn from other people. The social thing.. I get really drained being around lots of people, and the lighting makes my mind numb.. It sort of feels like jail to me even in college.

Maybe I will go back at some point.

It's never too late.

But you have to really want to do it to do it.

I know for me I don't really and never really had a clear goal in mind. Of course my natural tendencies. No job would be what I wanted to do. So For now I like my job which is weird.. So I'm good for now.

I made my ex finish.. She was in her 5th year.. wanted to jsut quit but I convinced her she could quit after she was done she didn't have to use her degree but you already owe the money may as well have the degree. She's still working as a teacher and not really making very much money to be worth it..

Me and her have a similar life style even though I make less money.. I don't have debts to pay.

a reply to: snowspirit

yea there are online classes from MIT or one of those colleges.. It's becoming more common. Free online classes, that actually give credits.

Also.... I had a similar situation, in some ways. I got my bachelor's degree in 1996. I then won the audition of my dreams (I'm a musician) and landed myself in the exact job I had taken myself to school to get.

I did that for about ten years, but had a health problem develop which ended that particular job.

It broke my heart. I spent a few years in a regular job, not in my career field, and rise up the ladder and ended up making adequate money to support myself, etc. but I was dead inside.

Anyway, one thing led to another and the possibility of going back to school came up. I didn't need the master's degree- the job I had landed after college was so prestigious and difficult to get, that just having played with whom I had played with, one doesn't need a degree (just the skills; but the expertise needed for that job almost surely requires one to have at least a bachelor's degree from a major music school). However, just thinking about being back in my old world, and being immersed in my subject and field again, made me feel eager and excited and alive again.

So I went back to school. I got my masters degree. Loved every second of it.

Here's my point: I still don't need the master's degree. But in the course of getting it, I cane back alive, and made so many new connections (and renewed old ones) that it got me back into my field pretty much overnight, and even doing more than I was doing in my first dream job.

So maybe you don't or won't need that degree; but being around people in the field in which you want to work can be priceless. You never know what events will transpire with people you meet, that will open up possibilities!

If I could speak to my younger self I would only say "Find what you love to do and just do that. Give it everything you've got and don't let anyone, or anything stop you". You only get one shot at life so make it count and don't waste time and energy on things that don't matter.

a reply to: snowspirit

Someone showed me this course app where you can learn basically anything. It's called Coursera and I plan on using it to sate my curiosities.

Otherwise, I've heard a similar tale. And it just feels like a trap and to that other commenter? Thinking about going to school and being forced to interact with so many miserable people (and everyone's complaining like I liked my fellow students but I had to hear them complain about everything from reading textbooks to a professors crit) that it scares me and I never feel like... idk. Like I belonged. Maybe I needed to see for myself that I am capable in comparison but maybe it didn't turn into a good feeling competition. It felt negative overall. And I am a competitive person and I enjoy competition but what if everyone gets A's no matter what. Even the kid who didn't read the required text? Then it's stupid. It's like communism or something. Maybe I'm exaggerating but I have encountered the mentality. It just feels... useless.

And yes AugustusMasonicus. Yes.

Depending on the school and how much financial aid you get it doesn't have to be so much.'t