I am looking for something, but I don't know what it is.

Hello, everyone.

It has been a long time since I last posted here, but I still come from time to time. Usually, I'd be over the UFO boards reading about their cool topics, but right now I have something else I'd like to talk about, and maybe gather some input from random strangers.

I wanna talk about a feeling that has been growing in me, and that I'm having issues trying to figure out what it is. Over the past year or so, there has been a lot of changes in me and, consequentially, in my life. I ended a 8 year relationship with someone that loved me but I didn't love them. I was living with this person for 2 years, and we had a stable life. Yet, I felt the need to look for something different, as that didn't feel right. And this is my issue. I have this feeling I need to look for something, something that will make me connect to...huh...something else.

I have a lot of acquaintances, I believe I'm a funny and likeable guy. And people seem to be like hanging around me and talking to me. I am respected by my peers at work, respect that I believe I gained with my own merit. However, I don't have a lot of friends, by my own definition most likely. I have people that are closer, that have known me for years, but I don't feel connected to them. I like hanging out with them, and I will help them and listen to their problems, but that's it. I never share my own things, because I feel they won't help in anyway.

I've always been reserved. so it makes sense that I don't talk about my things to anyone, I guess. Therefore, this thing I'm looking for can't be "people" related. I have love too, good sex as well. I can connect to people in bed, but I still feel distant. I have good looking women that are willing to do things most men would love to do, and I do like them - just never enough to make feel...filled?

I spend money in things and they don't fulfill me. People don't quite fulfill me. Work doesn't quite fulfill me. I still have this feeling I should be looking for something. That I need to do something.

I look at other people with a sort of envy. They live their little lives, not really thinking about things. Or so they seem. It all seems so...small, so tight. I'm not a native speaker, and not a great writer as well, so I can't really find those great words to express how I feel. It feels claustrophobic at times, this life. I'm not depressed, although my ex-partner used to say so. I don't have suicidal thoughts.

If you have any input, I will be glad to read it. I'm not looking for anything special here, so, just shoot away.

EDIT: I'm a male in my mid to late 20s, if you need this info.

a reply to: playguy

If you were a woman, I would say that you are feeling the urge of Nature to have children. Beyond that worthless observation, you seem to have nothing that you really believe in. So perhaps that requires you to get more interior rather than looking out to us nitwits.

Greetings-

Do You mean something like this?

www.sunfell.com...

a reply to: playguy

Just taking a stab at what might help you make your determination about you . Human metrics is a interesting subject and can actually put into perspective the difference's we humans share and make us unique . This first link is to the INFJ type www.personalitypage.com... this is the link to the test www.humanmetrics.com... check it out as it may hold some of the answers for you .peace out :>)

I'm a male in my mid to late 20s,

I do not mean this in any way "smartass"....but.. you're growing up. You're looking for more in life.
That IS NOT a bad thing. Don't go all mystical about it, just accept that you are maturing.

originally posted by: DAVID64

I'm a male in my mid to late 20s,

I do not mean this in any way "smartass"....but.. you're growing up. You're looking for more in life.
That IS NOT a bad thing. Don't go all mystical about it, just accept that you are maturing.

I have to agree with this post don't allow yourself to become to insular over this. A lot of people get similar feelings at the time of great change such as the end of a relationship and the start of a new year, and in your case both of those things have happened quite close together. Keep fit, lift heavy weights often, eat well and beyond that consider doing something that serves others, if you aren't already doing so. I have to go out will check back later.

originally posted by: the2ofusr1
a reply to: playguy

Just taking a stab at what might help you make your determination about you . Human metrics is a interesting subject and can actually put into perspective the difference's we humans share and make us unique . This first link is to the INFJ type www.personalitypage.com... this is the link to the test www.humanmetrics.com... check it out as it may hold some of the answers for you .peace out :>)

I did that test before and I am ENTP, which apparently is a kind of opposite?


Also, I'm not going mystical on this. I was told once by someone that I was probably an indigo child - I read about it but it seems that the symptoms seem to broad, as in, everyone would have a few of them.

I don't want to become insular. But I also feel that nobody out there is really...worth it. I have fun with them, and the people I hang out with are good human beings. I think the "problem" lies in me.

a reply to: playguy

Try God. Go church and meet people there.

a reply to: playguy

It is a kind of opposite ...It may be that because you are still young you haven't found your sweet spot to life . it does say this about your type ...

The ENTP personality type is the ultimate devil’s advocate, thriving on the process of shredding arguments and beliefs and letting the ribbons drift in the wind for all to see. Unlike their more determined Judging (J) counterparts, ENTPs don’t do this because they are trying to achieve some deeper purpose or strategic goal, but for the simple reason that it’s fun. No one loves the process of mental sparring more than ENTPs, as it gives them a chance to exercise their effortlessly quick wit, broad accumulated knowledge base, and capacity for connecting disparate ideas to prove their points. An odd juxtaposition arises with ENTPs, as they are uncompromisingly honest, but will argue tirelessly for something they don’t actually believe in, stepping into another’s shoes to argue a truth from another perspective. Playing the devil’s advocate helps people with the ENTP personality type to not only develop a better sense of others’ reasoning, but a better understanding of opposing ideas – since ENTPs are the ones arguing them. This tactic shouldn’t be confused with the sort of mutual understanding Diplomats seek – ENTPs, like all Analyst personality types, are on a constant quest for knowledge, and what better way to gain it than to attack and defend an idea, from every angle, from every side?

a reply to: Trueman

No, I have no interest in going to Church.

originally posted by: playguy
Over the past year or so, there has been a lot of changes in me and, consequentially, in my life. I ended a 8 year relationship with someone that loved me but I didn't love them. I was living with this person for 2 years, and we had a stable life. Yet, I felt the need to look for something different, as that didn't feel right. And this is my issue. I have this feeling I need to look for something, something that will make me connect to...huh...something else.

Being in your mid to late 20's and spending eight of those years with one person

hasn't given you a chance to know the extent and range of people around so you

have limited yourself in that area?

Also a woman who agrees to live with a man in general has made a commitment,

and as you say she loved you .....

However as you said you didn't love her, my opinion is *you led her on*?

Maybe for that reason you may have an under lying disappointment in yourself

for that? ......

You would have been better off having a housekeeper or cleaner!

I have a lot of acquaintances, I believe I'm a funny and likeable guy. And people seem to be like hanging around me and talking to me. I am respected by my peers at work, respect that I believe I gained with my own merit. However, I don't have a lot of friends, by my own definition most likely. I have people that are closer, that have known me for years, but I don't feel connected to them. I like hanging out with them, and I will help them and listen to their problems, but that's it. I never share my own things, because I feel they won't help in anyway.

Its nice that you have a lot of acquaintances, they come and go..... but real

friends are few and far between and they are the ones you will be able to trust

and who will share with you, and in return you will be able to share with them.

When you discover a friend, nurture that friendship, money couldn't buy it!

I have love too, good sex as well. I can connect to people in bed, but I still feel distant. I have good looking women that are willing to do things most men would love to do, and I do like them - just never enough to make feel...filled?

I remember reading once something said by a famous heart throb in the film

industry,

*I have no interest in loveless sex.... or in sexless love*

I think that an excellent summation, anything less is a devaluation.

I spend money in things and they don't fulfill me. People don't quite fulfill me. Work doesn't quite fulfill me. I still have this feeling I should be looking for something. That I need to do something.

Spend your money on what would make another happy ..... happiness rubs off

eg. A hot drink or sandwich for someone on the street, flowers, wine or chocolate

for someone who has helped you in some way....and so on.

I look at other people with a sort of envy. They live their little lives, not really thinking about things. Or so they seem. It all seems so...small, so tight.

Never waste time envying anyone ..... no one knows what goes on behind closed

doors every one has problems, only they don't wear it as a badge for recognition.

a reply to: playguy

Join the Freemasons.

No, wait, dont . . .

Dam you already did?

a reply to: playguy


"Also, I'm not going mystical on this. I was told once by someone that I was probably an indigo child - I read about it but it seems that the symptoms seem to broad, as in, everyone would have a few of them."

Perhaps, like some of us strange ones--I'll avoid your use of the term "mystical"--you are a different breed of human, if sans the pointed years and built in antenna.

Perhaps you are one of us, more of an observer than a part of the mass of normal humanity. We inter-relate to the usual crowd to a great degree, but always from afar, always from a different, more objective perspective and that is rarely appreciated when we use it against the status quo. But it is a sane defense against an insane world.

a reply to: eletheia

Very good post . ...it brought to mind a piece I read awhile back that op might consider as that word love can be such a fickle thing to get our minds around .

The Ancient Greeks’ 6 Words for Love (And Why Knowing Them Can Change Your Life) Looking for an antidote to modern culture's emphasis on romantic love? Perhaps we can learn from the diverse forms of emotional attachment prized by the ancient Greeks.

www.yesmagazine.org... when I was at his age it was one of those things I was clueless to and had always put it into a feeling but its much more then that .

a reply to: playguy

Maybe you need a change of scenery. Try to go out there and travel. Be safe of course, know your surroundings at all times, but go see the world.

You sound restless. Go visit Australia for a while, or Iceland when it's warmer. Travel around, see new things. Maybe Peru, Chili...New Zealand....

a reply to: eletheia

Thanks for your post, eletheia.

I loved her as well, but it faded. What you say about feeling limited is true, and I believe it played a big part in the whole thing.

I do understand the connection between love and sex, and I believe it to be necessary.

a reply to: Aliensun

Where can I get more information about this?

I never thought I was smart enough for this. I always felt that people around me seem to be much more "in tune" with the world and reality that I am. I've always felt a bit drifty. Not focused on anything.

www.bing.com... VRDGAR

a reply to: playguy

I was just looking for some answers as I don't know what to do and Isaw this post. I am also kind of confused with life and everything you wrote here I feel like it's me. I agree with all those words as all of those things match with my ongoing life except the one paragraph