What Weird Complaints Did Your Parents Make About You?

a reply to: berenike

My mom would love to tell people that as a child (3-6 about) I would take every opportunity to 'escape' and cause all types of mayhem. Sometimes leaving the house very early in the morning, after navigating 8 locks on the door, and being completely nude for my morning stroll.

-Go into the neighbors house, let their dogs out and then lock her out when she found me.
-Attempt to speak to the Carmelite nuns down the street whom had taken a vow of silence.
-Order hundreds in room service while we were on vacation and she attempted to nap.
-crawl under occupied tables in fancy restaurants.
-Teach a talking bird at a restaurant swear words.

As a teen she lamented that I was not as secretive as I should be and would tell her each and every detail of what myself and my friends got up to.

a reply to: berenike

My mother could dredge up old stories about me at the drop of a hat. Friends, neighbours, family, complete strangers would be regaled with these tales of my mis-deeds, with me standing right there, up until my teens when I made my escape.

I think we have the same mom.

Brother ? Is that you ?




My mom's biggest complaint about me is that I'm not an exact replica of her in my personal tastes, likes, dislikes, opinions, thoughts, feelings, ideologies... going all the back to when I was a child, right up to to this day.

In a nutshell, her overall complaint is that she's never been able to have full puppet control over me.



On the plus side, I actually benefitted from that because it forced me to make sure that I didn't repeat the same dysfunctional pattern with my own daughter and instead, I made sure to give my daughter the space and personal freedoms she needed to become her own person.

I learned how to not be a control freak.

So thanks mom.

My parents were oddly hung up on my eating habits.

I was a very fussy eater (or "faddy", as they would describe me), and I had this disconcerting habit of sniffing any food I wasn't sure about. This was an endless source of bafflement, and humour, for them.

Even as a kid I remember thinking, "What is their problem?"

It wasn't as though I wasn't eating enough, I was quite a chubby kid. I just wasn't eating enough of what they thought was healthy.

My mother went through a phase of forcing me to swallow tablespoonfuls of honey, because she'd read somewhere that it was good for hay fever.

It wasn't. But she knew I didn't like it, so I had to have it.

I don't think she would have bothered if I had liked it.

a reply to: berenike

Oh my.... I could tell you about the time, when I was a toddler that I drove my mother to distraction by falling and hitting my head on the living room door frame... and then standing up, dusting myself down, looking at the door frame quizzically, and then headbutting it. The consensus was, between herself and my father, that I must have done it to ensure that yes, it was the door frame I had hit when I fell, and yes, it definitely was painful.

Then there was the time that six year old me, in a moment of boredom and existential crisis, decided to jump off the top of our stairs, through the table under the mirror at the bottom of the stairs. Having smashed through the furniture item with all the grace of a plummeting comet and picked the broken pieces of wood out of my clothing, I went and made a sandwich. The look on her face when my mother came in from the garden (having heard none of this) to see me sitting atop a pile of broken cupboard, munching a sandwich was... Put it this way, if you have ever seen someone try to be absolutely livid while wetting themselves with laughter, you will get the picture. Classic.

My mum likes to tell her friends I'm broke and she supports me financially which is really weird as I haven't taken a penny off her since I was 11 and have worked non stop since I was 16. She also tells them stories about her crazy adventures with her grandson (brother's kid) who she's never met. She's bat****.

I was an angel.

Zero complaints.

originally posted by: reldra
a reply to: berenike

My mom would love to tell people that as a child (3-6 about) I would take every opportunity to 'escape' and cause all types of mayhem. Sometimes leaving the house very early in the morning, after navigating 8 locks on the door, and being completely nude for my morning stroll.

You too??? My parents always said I did it at 2 years old, and was always found many blocks away, in the middle of a cow pasture, naked amongst the cows (and holding my teddy bear).

a reply to: TrueBrit

I drove my mother to distraction by falling and hitting my head on the living room door frame... and then standing up, dusting myself down, looking at the door frame quizzically, and then headbutting it.

Required early behaviour for a later appreciation of heavy metal.

a reply to: Lysergic

I was an angel.

Zero complaints.

a reply to: CranialSponge

Ma did know some Canadians at one point, I reckon they must have swapped some parenting tips.

I mean, they don't get like that without help, surely?
.....

eta Maybe we all got off more lightly than we thought. Imagine how it's been for my ex-Boss's son. According to her he's not very well endowed and is rather self conscious about it. As well he might be what with his mum going round telling people that he's got a very small willie.

a reply to: berenike

Or maybe our mom's went to that black ops seminar called "How to get rid of your kids before they turn 18" ?

a reply to: CranialSponge

Now there's telepathy.

I was going to ask you if there's some secret parents' thing that you're all sworn not to tell the rest of us about.

Cor, that would explain so much.

a reply to: CJCrawley

Oh yes. Head banging right off the bat!



It's a damned sight easier when there's no impact involved!

originally posted by: greydaze
Heh,mine was cut your hair,You look like a bum.

Blimey Grey, you could be my brother. When I was a teenager in the 60s (I mean everyone had long hair) every time I entered the house my father always used to say "get your hair cut it's sapping your strength". Which invariably lead to me giving him the finger, behind his back of course.

a reply to: CranialSponge

i shoulda enrolled in that one myself.

a reply to: berenike

My favorite one was that they didn't like that the family dog at the time would pull the leash out of their hands whenever they tried to take her for a walk (I heard the complaint because I took the dog for a run around the block, and had the muscle strength to keep hold of the leash).

The second-favorite is "XXX is always in the woods running around instead of doing chores". Why yes, yes I was - I learned that if I was hiking a couple miles away, they couldn't ask me to mow the lawn or vacuum, or do dishes.

And, for the bronze - "XXX was climbing in the Pine tree again". Somehow, the only part of the complaint was that I was climbing in the tree, and not "XXX made a fort up in the tree". They only discovered the fort after a nasty thunderstorm broke it apart.

-fossilera

a reply to: berenike
My mom used to complain that I poop every day. What can I say? I'm a regular guy.

a reply to: Skid Mark

Well. And who used to feed you?

Someone wasn't taking their fair share of the blame

a reply to: berenike
That is very true.

My mother didn't criticize me much, but apparently left that to my grandmother. Whenever we were around new people she would say "yes, she's the only one of my children or grandchildren that I ever had to spank." Then she'd make herself sound really good by saying "after I spanked her, I sat down and cried".

This spanking was because when I was five we were shopping in a store, and I remember clearly thinking I would go back to the car and not tell her. (She was shoe-shopping for herself and I was bored. We were at J.C. Penney's, I remember it well.)

But this apparently led to a panic, her calling my parents, everybody in the store freaking out, etc.

But it was okay. When we got back to her house, my grandfather made homemade ice cream with freshly picked peaches to celebrate my not being kidnapped. lol.

I really don't remember her crying after she spanked me though.