The Answer You've Been Looking For...

originally posted by: Chickensalad
I'm literally going through everything that you posted in the OP right now.

Lost my family, kids, had to drop out of college, no home and nothing to look forward to.
Some days I just can't convince myself to keep going. Some days a can at least fake a positive attitude, but still get nowhere.

But, reading your thread today gave me a TRUE positive feeling. For that, I thank you.

I'm glad that you were able to pick yourself back up and carry on. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to see this today.

a reply to: Chickensalad









It'll never be easy, just...

a reply to: Chickensalad









So...



You'll discover...


and...

a reply to: Chickensalad







This is the story of our lives...


All you gotta do is...

a reply to: Chickensalad

originally posted by: Observationalist
a reply to: muzzleflash

Thanks

originally posted by: Suanna
Nice way of trying to inspire others

a reply to: namelesss

originally posted by: ignorant_ape
a reply to: muzzleflash

what utter bollox :

a demonstration of the utter vapidity of this " argument "

Q1 - why does lead have a greater density than iron at STP
A1 - god

Q2 - why is mamalian blood red ?
A2 - god

Q3 - why does the planet saturn have rings
A3 - god

Q4 - why do i have an unread U2U
A4 - GOD

i could go on - but you see the pattern

Ok, I am going to assume that you don't know what the word "God" actually means and that you are misinterpreting it in terms of what the average modern person associates it with (ie: the 'Christian' or ____ fill in the blank denomination's idea of 'God', a guy in the clouds throwing lightning bolts 'Zeus', etc).

Of course, if that's what the word really meant than I'd be an atheist as well, but since that's not the actual educated person's proper definition of the terminology than we need to clarify.

"God":
1) Supreme or ultimate reality
2) Underlying essence of the Universe

So with this initial definition it's easy to agree that 1) an ultimate reality must necessarily exist and 2) that the Universe must have some sort of underlying essence (in physics this leads to theories or equations like E=mc^2, superstrings, entanglement, superposition, etc).

Now let's add additional descriptive qualities to this terminology "God" to further explain it:
3) Infinite (never ending)
4) Eternal (timeless)
5) Omnipotent (almighty)
6) Omnipresent (all presence)
7) Omniscient (all knowing)

Ok so obviously reality must necessarily contain the qualities of 3-7, but the real question that you, and others, generally ponder in this topic is:
"Is the ultimate force behind existence actively participating in our lives / is it intelligent in a way that we could discern as being capable of communicating with us mere primitive humans and interacting in the physical realm in such a way as to change situations, reveal knowledge, create miraculous events in helpful or unhelpful ways, etc?"

The only way to know either way on a question of this magnitude would be through empirical knowledge, that is experience and experimentation combined with logical theory and philosophical rationalization.

Granted, such a 'supreme reality' might be so complex (or so simple) that we humans may not be intelligent enough or live long enough to conduct a series of experiments or developing a system of explanation sufficient to really even approach such a knowledge, I will attest that it not only can be achieved but that it's reasonably simple and that you can do it practically within a short time frame.

In fact, the 30+ (maybe even 50-ish) threads I have planned for the future are dealing exclusively with this topic and are a presentation of information/data that I have compiled during this great 'Quest for the Ultimate' or whatever you wanna call it. I think of them as chapters and the overall book I am calling "The Latest Testament". It is not part 3 of the Bible, it's a stand alone production and I named it that because it sounds really cool and catchy and it sorta gives an idea what I'm aiming at (supplying evidence of "God" and offering experiments that you or anyone can conduct to find active proof in daily life, as well as offering hypothesis or theory that might explain how these experiments work on a fundamental physical level).

I have developed a battery of dozens of new types of experiments and I also use many older types of experimentation (with a new philosophical twist) to create a working system that collectively reveals the existence of a Supreme Active Intelligence that can alter physical reality in seemingly impossible or statistically improbable ways. In order to make sense of all this information / data I have developed new methodology and new theories (and used existing methods/ideas) and will share as much of this as I can with rational explanations of how it works, why it's used, what it means, etc.

The early chapters of this (where I was still in the process of figuring out the very basics of this endeavor) are the threads:
1) Unicorn
2) Neptune
3) ChiRho
4) Freemasonry
5) Sha
6) Grail
7) Unitarian
8) Hades

Now I must underline and stress that these threads were me primarily showing my work results and I did not offer much explanation for what I was doing or why I was doing this and what it all meant in the larger scheme of physics, psychology, cosmology, linguistics, etc. I will go back and provide in depth explanations in plain English later with citations.

The last one part 8 was actually a precursor to a handful of later threads (maybe 9 through 15) that was simply preparing readers for terminology and concepts I would later explain in exquisite detail from various angles of approach. It was like a key or legend, and without those other threads to review and compare with thread 8 it simply wouldn't make much of any sense at all (and to a degree all of those threads apply this way, it's a cohesive system of working parts).

I have gotten chapter 9 almost fully prepared and it'll also be a preparatory course in basic symbols concepts and themes that will come into play in later threads in significant ways.

I'll even tell you the title to this thread (my current working title):
"Infected by the Venom of Venus".
It's so not what you'd think initially though the title will make sense after reading into it. "It" should be posted online fairly soon, I'm a perfectionist and it's hard to decide on exactly how I'm going to do it.

Anyways, just ask me questions, make comments, complain or criticize and I'll see how I can help out...

originally posted by: ignorant_ape
a reply to: muzzleflash

what utter bollox :

a demonstration of the utter vapidity of this " argument "

Q1 - why does lead have a greater density than iron at STP
A1 - god

Q2 - why is mamalian blood red ?
A2 - god

Q3 - why does the planet saturn have rings
A3 - god

Q4 - why do i have an unread U2U
A4 - GOD

i could go on - but you see the pattern

A few other things, those threads I linked above are, in a way, my kindergarten or introduction to the subjects involved and represent my "awakening" to the 'Ocean of Consciousness'. I have learned so much since then and discovered so many additional things that I look back on those threads in a sort of sentimental manner where I blush in embarrassment because I see it as a childlike attempt to express what types of information I was encountering (for example I spoke mostly in rhymes, riddles, coded language/encryption, etc - while lacking direct plain English explanations).

Point is the future stuff should gradually get much easier to understand and will offer much more insight into exactly what I was doing / was attempting to achieve.

Oh yeah, and by the way, a personal critique of your post that you thought was witty and profound yet was condescendingly smug and overwhelmingly ignorant was that it was in fact a 'Strawman' because you didn't address my 'argument' but instead created a false argument and proceeded to knock it down by providing 'examples' and hoping people would infer the logic of my OP was unsound based upon those examples.

My argument was not "You have an unread U2U because of God", per se, but instead that "If your life is falling apart than having Faith the Supreme Force behind All Things will actively resolve these issues and improve your situation or outlook on the future when you focus on Faith and self-development and become exceptionally determined/resolved to achieve your goals = that things will work out much better than you previously anticipated", and similar related arguments.

And please at least bother to use punctuation and capitalization when you want to appear clever, it helps significantly and it's worth the few seconds invested. The lack of those qualities doesn't automatically defeat your claims (each claim stands on it's own after all), but it does help quite a bit in the long run on looking more educated and professional.

a reply to: muzzleflash

oh FFS - another muppet playing imbecilic word games - its should have been obvious

your other threads are hysterically funny - more so as you obviously take your delusions seriously

but hey - i stand my my origional assesment of you

a reply to: ignorant_ape

You mean original.

Just responding with insults isn't a good argument form, I realize now you aren't serious about finding the "Truth".

I'm an open minded person, if someone can explain why something is or isn't so, than I would reevaluate and reconsider it.

It would be nice if you could have an honest and reasonable debate. If you're going to say something is 'bollox' you should be willing to support it with ideas.

Your response is essentially conceding without a fight, at least make me work for it.

a reply to: muzzleflash

oh dear - where do we start with your fantasies - well we can jump into prety much ANY point in ANY thread :

Radius Ra's Day
Radiana Ra's Night
Radii Ra's Dice

what utter bollox - thats the polite version

you get offended that i " insult you " - FFS - you NEED insulting

you are simply ` pulling shiite out your arse `

originally posted by: ignorant_ape
a reply to: muzzleflash

oh dear - where do we start with your fantasies - well we can jump into prety much ANY point in ANY thread :

Radius Ra's Day
Radiana Ra's Night
Radii Ra's Dice

what utter bollox - thats the polite version

you get offended that i " insult you " - FFS - you NEED insulting

you are simply ` pulling shiite out your arse `

I wasn't just pulling it ex nihilo...

I was actually showing how I was searching for clues to occult topics by decryption of language. I admitted that it was early (uncompleted) work and that I also didn't fully explain the process or purpose of what I was doing. I also left it in shorthand form mostly and didn't explain this was moreso a pathway to discovery and it worked in cycles of information and I had to figure it out as I went through it.

You are judging something that you didn't bother contributing any intellectual work towards, for example me saying :
霓 rainbow
and you didn't bother to recognize that I was attempting to decode a Chinese symbol.

For example the piece that you snipped from my early post:
Radius Ra's Day =
1) Ra is the Egyptian Sun God
2) According to Translate 'dius' means in Latin "daytime, Godlike, Deified, Divine

I was hoping readers would recognize the uncanny nature of these two parts of the word relating to circles and the distance from the center to the edge, Radius, was both a Sun god and a word for daytime and Godlike divinity. I was hoping people would notice this was not a coincidence because Ra's symbolism is akin to a Circle, the Winged Sun Disk.

Radiana Ra's Night was a play upon the word Radian which is the standard unit of angular measure of a circle, the radius along the circumference (where π is based upon).

By merely keeping with the theme of mythological figures and astronomy, I invoked
1) Diana the Goddess of the Moon
which is the opposite of Ra the Sun, and the name Diana actually means
2) "Heavenly / Divine" yet again.

Radii Ra's Dice was not fully explained by me, so I apologize.
Dice was inferred to be a 'hidden phonetic Equivalent' to "Dies", which means "Day" in Latin.
1) Radii translates to "Rays"
2) Dii translates to "The Gods"

There are multiple routes to look into this and it (to get a word and slice or 'dice' it into two parts) was a methodology I was employing to open hidden research avenues to find connections between words, symbols, themes, subjects, concepts, historical matters, etc.

I didn't even invent the process of splitting words into parts and looking into their roots, though I did take some liberties and expounded upon that process as a mere experiment to see where it would lead (and I was so continually amazed at where it led that I decided to post my findings online for everyone to inspect and analyze).

In just those three little statements I opened a hundred doorways to knowledge that I cannot even express in any satisfactory manner here in this post...
"Radius Ra's Day
Radiana Ra's Night
Radii Ra's Dice"

It's like you think I made it up... but if you search humankind and history you'll find patterns...

You gotta open your mind and listen to the subtle electrical harmonics of God/Goddess flowing around you... it's music to my ears and it's like I'm hearing the 3 Fates singing of chance (a game of dice perhaps?) revelations of information/data...





Note the first pic is the logo of a modern band, the second one is a Cigar company (which expresses how I'm chilled out enjoying my victory here), it's the Trinity of Goddesses, the Fates or Destiny, one's playing a harp again relating music or soundwaves (you gotta hear it with your Spiritual-instinctive-subconscious ear).



And although this photo is about a trick/hoax around 100 years ago, the theme is what matters (electricity, Artificial Intelligence, the Goddess, the terminology Radiana, sensational novelty and scientific marvels, etc).

Radiana is even a Resort Hotel...

We could go on and on and on learning hundreds of fascinating things just based on my decryption of those 3 words and the methodology I employed for the purpose of Learning about Earth in all ways imaginable. Even on the wiki for Venus it says that Romans played dice all the time and that the best roll was called "a Venus". How does that apply? It's something I uncovered by playing a phonetic word-game with Radii:
1) Dii being Gods,
2) Die being plural for dice and also the Latin for day,
3) and who decides how the Die land? The Gods...

Einstein said God doesn't play dice with the Universe, meaning God actively decides how all seemingly random events occur and how everything is designed and how it all works.

So many of these words have so many multiple meanings and contexts that it's overwhelming to even begin to decipher and put it together, so of course this post is only like 10% of what I really wanted to express in terms of the information load encoded within my simple little statement you judged without having any idea what I was revealing...

originally posted by: ignorant_ape
a reply to: muzzleflash

oh dear - where do we start with your fantasies - well we can jump into prety much ANY point in ANY thread :

Jump to any point of any of those threads and pick one of my 'fantasies' and I'll explain it for you in plain English in depth and give multiple examples.

I am here to take your neurons and create connections between them and increase your intelligence, and all I have to do is challenge you to challenge me and make me put up the goods to feed your brain.

It'll be pleasurable doping on data, we will both experience a release of dopamine as I enlighten you to the endless ocean of knowledge that you never bothered to notice because you've been acting like a dope. I'm a fiend for learning and sharing so although you're my foe I'll convert you to a friend if you'll oblige me with your woe.

originally posted by: ignorant_ape
a reply to: muzzleflash

what utter bollox

The Trinity of Ignorant escAPEism...




You probably think Gulliver's Travels is a nonsenical book of fantasy gibberish, I see Swift's work as one of the greatest satires on human nature ever written...







So Open your Mind...

What I am teaching here is the advanced knowledge for those who can see with their eyes, hear with their ears, and use their mind, but are lost in the abyss...



That is the Key.

It's like everyday is another battle, or series of battles...

I always want to present great Strength to everyone, to show them the 'me' that I like being seen as; an indomitable Spirit that is worth taking seriously, a solid rock of perseverance and wise counsel, someone worth being the example for others to follow.

That's who I wish I was, but so often I realize I am not only not that, but that I can hardly attain even a glimmer of it.

Like the last few weeks, they were ok, things were manageable, I only slept outside like one night. Everything's been working mostly on my terms, no strings attached, I've maintained my autonomy and personal freedom, just the way I require it if I'm to accept anything.

But the Nightmares, they come back, they haunt me.

I had this dream of my son, he's almost 8, I haven't seen him in over two years. I was giving him this football for a present because I wanted him to learn how to play, but he was looking off in the distance, he didn't even see me. His eyes were full of tears and he looked very distraught and disturbed. This totally rocked me at my core when I awoke.

I went on my way that day (Saturday), and I managed. I faced my internal struggle and came to terms with it to a degree. I didn't get over it, I just do what I do, I cope. I try to let God take it and do what's best. I feel helpless.

But Sunday, maybe around noon to 3pm, something much deeper happened to me. I was thinking about all of these things that occurred over the last 2 years, the complete disaster that befell my life... and I crashed. I crashed and burned hard.

It's not that bad things happened, it was the fact I have no control, I feel like it was very unfair and unjust. I felt so helpless and lost, falling in the abyss of complete darkness...

You know, you can do so great for days, feeling ok about things. But then all the sudden the train wreck occurs. For me, it was over almost nothing, a mere ghost got to me, it penetrated every layer of defense and struck my Heart with devastation and desolation.

I was at a church gathering, around a bunch of people. Suddenly I couldn't stand it, I couldn't handle their presence and the sounds of their incessant singing drove me nuts, I just wanted silence, to be alone. I just got up and left, I didn't respond to anyone texting me or calling, I didn't want anything to do with anyone. No one knows what I'm going through, I help others but I doubt anyone can help me.

Everything's easier said than done. I am a paradox, I am both the quintessential Spiritualist and I am also a shallow Materialist. The more I become of one, the more I become of the other. The less I judge books by their cover, the better I learn to judge them by their cover. I cannot identify much about me that isn't paradoxical or contradictory in some way.

I lose control of myself, and yet I embrace my inner chaos and let it play out without even trying to control it. I see images of my enemies, my abusers, laughing and enjoying my misery. It infuriates me, I become a perfect flame in my Zen of anger. It is complete calm, no one around me could detect this feeling, I do not reveal my emotions often. That's why I want to be alone, so I can stop hiding myself. So I can be me and feel me openly. I don't want anyone to see this wreck I've become.

I won't tell anyone what I think on the deepest levels when I crash, not at this time, there's no way in hell I'd talk about it. I'll reveal what happened to me though. I became harder than diamond in the flames of my anguish.

It presented to me two options:
1) Give up and end it all
2) Fight harder than ever before

So I picked #2. I've been here before many times, especially lately.
I usually have a great grip, but I admit, the last two years... I'm slowly losing it.
I'm not perfect, I'm not able to just take it forever. I have limits, I'm just a human being, I feel, I cry, I miss my kids, I'm lonely, I suffer physically as my body is taking a beating everyday. I don't even really know what pleasure is anymore.

All I know is the fight...endless war with forces around me. I need God's help so badly...

Don't Judge me, no one knows my story, no one knows what demons I face, no one knows what chocies I have to make or what my battles are like. You could never judge me accurately. Only God can judge us, only God sees it all...

If I judge anyone, it's almost never good. I'm am critical and harsh to the extreme, because that's how I am judged. I always feel that I'm held to standards literally no one is held to, and so I apply that impossible standard when I reverse it onto others. It's best we just don't go there, I'd prefer not to be 'that way'.

Yesterday when I went to a random cafe to get a coffee, a woman walked up to me. I've never seen her before, I don't know her. She lifted me out of my pit of despair with a few words...

She asked me "are you Jason?" and I said "Yes, how do you know me?". She explained she knew about my story, about what happened to me and how this woman buried me because I was in love with her and brought her flowers... I couldn't believe this person knew my story and what happened to me, but you gotta understand, I was on national news earlier this year a few times. People might remember if they saw my story.

Anyways, she told me that the woman that did this to me "deserved a good old fashioned country beating", which made me laugh because she probably does. The woman explained that she believed what was done to me was completely wrong and immoral and that this woman crossed all sorts of lines of common decency by doing what she did, in her opinion.

I explained that there's no reason to hurt her, and we agreed that God and Karma will bring Justice to her in the end, and that there's no reason to do anything. I don't want anyone to hurt this person for anyone reason, much less on my behalf, but I did enjoy the sentiment and the fact people at random that I've never met know my story and took my side though I didn't even get a chance to explain my side at any part of this.

My opposition controlled the narrative the entire time and lied constantly and twisted everything outta context to present a complete myth just to hurt me for loving them and treating them better than I ever treated anyone.

Sigh... I don't really want to go into it in much detail right now. But God did send that woman to tell me that yesterday, I needed someone to take my side, I don't talk about it much so I don't expect anyone to get my back. I always expect that it's me against the world and I fight like that's how it is. I fight the whole world, I carry it on my back, and no matter how much it hurts I keep going. There's no way I'll give up, no one will ever convince me otherwise, this is between God and me and only God can change my Heart.

I can't believe I'm gonna actually hit post on this.... oh well... only like 1 or 2 people read this far into my threads anyhow, hahaha.... I might be crazy but who isn't? This world's #'d.

I'm gonna win against my demons, just watch me.
The alternative is unacceptable...

Playing on the radio at this cafe right now...

Don't touch the sleeping pills, they mess with my head,
Dredging the Great White Sharks, swimming in the bed,
And here comes a Killer Whale, to sing me to sleep,
Thrashing the covers off, it has me by its teeth.

And oh my love remind me, what was it that I said?
I can't help but pull the earth around me, to make my bed
And oh my love remind me, what was it that I did?
Did I drink too much?
Am I losing touch?
Did I build this ship to wreck?

To wreck, to wreck, to wreck,
Did I build this ship to wreck?

What's with the long face? Do you want more?
Thousands of red-eyed mice, scratching at the door,
Don't let the curtain catch you, cause you've been here before,
The chair is an island darling, you can't touch the floor,

Good God, under starless skies we are lost,
And into the breach we got tossed,
And the water's coming in fast!

Oh I got a feeling deep deep down
And my life has got no meaning that I need to get out
It will take all night but you'll never know

If you follow your feet, you'll find your way home
And I know, I know

So light it up oh oh, ohh oh oh
When the weight of the world falls on your shoulders
Light it up oh oh, ohh oh oh
When the weight of the world falls on your shoulders
Light it up

Oh I know you need it deep deep down
Cause you spend your life dreaming, oh you need to get out
You can change your life but you'll never know
If you follow your feet, you'll find your way home
And I know, I know

I lost myself in the cold but I am still here
I found myself growing old but I am still here
I lost myself in the cold but I am still here
I found myself growing old but I am still here

I'll throw this one into the mix because it applies so well...



Lyrics are in the vid...