So pissed I can barely think...

originally posted by: goou111
So then your solution is to just "let it go" Dont kill him, dont out him, so we just let it go.

Just because the victim might not want it getting out he still has the responsibility to let anyone whose children might be around this guy know what he has done.

You defer to the victim on this and, instead of further victimizing her if she has no desire to be under legal and public scrutiny, you sadly let it go.

Unless you are some internet yahoo, then by all means go and flat blast him. Let us know how that works out.

"When you seek revenge, dig two graves."

Don't go to prison over this. I know you're angry, but it isn't worth being away from your family permanently.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: goou111
So then your solution is to just "let it go" Dont kill him, dont out him, so we just let it go.

Just because the victim might not want it getting out he still has the responsibility to let anyone whose children might be around this guy know what he has done.

You defer to the victim on this and, instead of further victimizing her if she has no desire to be under legal and public scrutiny, you sadly let it go.

Unless you are some internet yahoo, then by all means go and flat blast him. Let us know how that works out,

So we can create more victims. If I knew this guy raped a little girl and did not tell and then he raped another one thats on me not the previous victim.

originally posted by: goou111
So we can create more victims. If I knew this guy raped a little girl and did not tell and then he raped another one thats on me not the previous victim.

Only two people know, and you ain't one of them.

a reply to: goou111

goou111

You are hardly a paragon of personal responsibility. The only responsibility irishhaf ACTUALLY has, is to his loved one. I would have thought you could appreciate that, better than anyone around here. After all, you are not a fan of taking responsibility for things that SHOULD be your responsibility to look after, leave alone things that are someone elses problem now, despite being caused closer to your home than theirs.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: goou111
So we can create more victims. If I knew this guy raped a little girl and did not tell and then he raped another one thats on me not the previous victim.

Only two people know, and you ain't one of them.

Unm that is why I said "if". Op if he rapes another little girl and you have not told that is on you.

is that better?

originally posted by: goou111
Unm that is why I said "if". Op if he rapes another little girl and you have not told that is on you.

is that better?

No, it is not better. It is not his place to determine how this young lady handles an alleged sexual assault.

That is for her and her parents/legal guardians to determine.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: goou111
Unm that is why I said "if". Op if he rapes another little girl and you have not told that is on you.

is that better?

No, it is not better. It is not his place to determine how this young lady handles an alleged sexual assault.

That is for her and her parents/legal guardians to determine.

Its her older brother.... And he does not want to tell her father because daddy would KILL him. Did you read the OP?

originally posted by: goou111
Its her older brother....

No, it isn't:

originally posted by: Irishhaf
told me the depression and self harm came about due to a family friend of 20 years molested her...

Did you read the OP?

Yup, but you didn't.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: goou111
Its her older brother....

No, it isn't:

originally posted by: Irishhaf
told me the depression and self harm came about due to a family friend of 20 years molested her...

Did you read the OP?

Yup, but you didn't.

OOps. I read it thought he was talking about his sister . I still think it is anyone who knows responsibility to make sure this guy is not stil doing it.

a reply to: goou111

It is not your call or my call.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: goou111

It is not your call or my call.

The whole I would kill him part was if it was my sister.

One of the most damaging aspects of child sexual abuse is often perpetrated by the child's own family choosing to keep it quiet and allowing the abuser to go unpunished. And worse than that, the family almost always does it under the pretext of protecting the child from further harm.

However, that is actually not why they keep silent at all. It is to protect their own psyche through the oldest self-delusion in the book: denial. It is not a conscious choice most of the time. They truly believe it is for the best. They don't see that they are keeping from that child the very thing that has the power to truly allow her to heal: Justice. Instead, the child is left feeling tainted. Damaged goods.

That man will do this again. Not maybe. He will. And by keeping silent, your sister is not only doing possibly irreparable psychological harm to her daughter, but also allowing this man the freedom to assault another child.

I don't know that contacting the authorities would do any good...the case is closed; unless there is some hard evidence that your sister is putting the girl in harm's way by having this guy over to the house or something. I'm guessing that talking to her is probably not going to work either. She and her daughter both need professional assistance, but she's going to have to ask for it.

I cannot offer you anything but my concern for your situation, and my heartfelt sadness for the girl...I know her pain. I was also abused by a family friend, as well as several members of my family, and not one of them was held accountable for what they did. In fact, I had to attend family events with all of my abusers in the same room, for years. I was never given Justice.

I will keep her in my thoughts, and I hope that your sister is somehow able to remove the blinders and truly see why what she is doing is not OK. That it will have lasting repercussions on the psychological well-being of her daughter. She is very lucky to have you in her life. I hope you know that.

One thing that may help is if you can give your niece some information to read on child sexual assault. There are resources out there, and it may even be possible for her to bypass her mother and bring charges on her own. But at least to read about others' experiences, to know that she is not alone...perhaps that would give her strength. Maybe it would help open your sister's eyes too, to see that this is actually a common, widespread problem that needs to be brought out into the light, to be flushed out into the open. She is not alone.

Blessed Be.

originally posted by: tigertatzen
One of the most damaging aspects of child sexual abuse is often perpetrated by the child's own family choosing to keep it quiet and allowing the abuser to go unpunished. And worse than that, the family almost always does it under the pretext of protecting the child from further harm.

However, that is actually not why they keep silent at all. It is to protect their own psyche through the oldest self-delusion in the book: denial. It is not a conscious choice most of the time. They truly believe it is for the best. They don't see that they are keeping from that child the very thing that has the power to truly allow her to heal: Justice. Instead, the child is left feeling tainted. Damaged goods.

That man will do this again. Not maybe. He will. And by keeping silent, your sister is not only doing possibly irreparable psychological harm to her daughter, but also allowing this man the freedom to assault another child.

I don't know that contacting the authorities would do any good...the case is closed; unless there is some hard evidence that your sister is putting the girl in harm's way by having this guy over to the house or something. I'm guessing that talking to her is probably not going to work either. She and her daughter both need professional assistance, but she's going to have to ask for it.

I cannot offer you anything but my concern for your situation, and my heartfelt sadness for the girl...I know her pain. I was also abused by a family friend, as well as several members of my family, and not one of them was held accountable for what they did. In fact, I had to attend family events with all of my abusers in the same room, for years. I was never given Justice.

I will keep her in my thoughts, and I hope that your sister is somehow able to remove the blinders and truly see why what she is doing is not OK. That it will have lasting repercussions on the psychological well-being of her daughter. She is very lucky to have you in her life. I hope you know that.

One thing that may help is if you can give your niece some information to read on child sexual assault. There are resources out there, and it may even be possible for her to bypass her mother and bring charges on her own. But at least to read about others' experiences, to know that she is not alone...perhaps that would give her strength. Maybe it would help open your sister's eyes too, to see that this is actually a common, widespread problem that needs to be brought out into the light, to be flushed out into the open. She is not alone.

Blessed Be.

What I have been trying to say. you just said it better.

a reply to: Irishhaf

Please try and get your niece some counselling. And if its in the same area

the counsellor may have had another patient who has named him, as it seems

to be easier to convict when there is more than one victim. She will also know

if there's anyway hope of getting a conviction.


But whatever your niece will benefit from the counselling, and be able to put

things to bed, and sort it out in her head, which is what she needs.


Abuse is complicated for the victim and takes a long time to get over.

Counselling will help, and she needs that help

a reply to: tigertatzen

YOU, kiddo, gave the BEST advise.

Youre also a good egg and someone like the people I have in my life. Good folks regardless of political leanings or religion.. or etc. Just a GOOD spirit.

Listen to this one, OP.

originally posted by: goou111

originally posted by: tigertatzen
One of the most damaging aspects of child sexual abuse is often perpetrated by the child's own family choosing to keep it quiet and allowing the abuser to go unpunished. And worse than that, the family almost always does it under the pretext of protecting the child from further harm.

However, that is actually not why they keep silent at all. It is to protect their own psyche through the oldest self-delusion in the book: denial. It is not a conscious choice most of the time. They truly believe it is for the best. They don't see that they are keeping from that child the very thing that has the power to truly allow her to heal: Justice. Instead, the child is left feeling tainted. Damaged goods.

That man will do this again. Not maybe. He will. And by keeping silent, your sister is not only doing possibly irreparable psychological harm to her daughter, but also allowing this man the freedom to assault another child.

I don't know that contacting the authorities would do any good...the case is closed; unless there is some hard evidence that your sister is putting the girl in harm's way by having this guy over to the house or something. I'm guessing that talking to her is probably not going to work either. She and her daughter both need professional assistance, but she's going to have to ask for it.

I cannot offer you anything but my concern for your situation, and my heartfelt sadness for the girl...I know her pain. I was also abused by a family friend, as well as several members of my family, and not one of them was held accountable for what they did. In fact, I had to attend family events with all of my abusers in the same room, for years. I was never given Justice.

I will keep her in my thoughts, and I hope that your sister is somehow able to remove the blinders and truly see why what she is doing is not OK. That it will have lasting repercussions on the psychological well-being of her daughter. She is very lucky to have you in her life. I hope you know that.

One thing that may help is if you can give your niece some information to read on child sexual assault. There are resources out there, and it may even be possible for her to bypass her mother and bring charges on her own. But at least to read about others' experiences, to know that she is not alone...perhaps that would give her strength. Maybe it would help open your sister's eyes too, to see that this is actually a common, widespread problem that needs to be brought out into the light, to be flushed out into the open. She is not alone.

Blessed Be.

What I have been trying to say. you just said it better.

Thank you. I had to think about it for a bit before I typed it.

originally posted by: Advantage
a reply to: tigertatzen

YOU, kiddo, gave the BEST advise.

Youre also a good egg and someone like the people I have in my life. Good folks regardless of political leanings or religion.. or etc. Just a GOOD spirit.

Listen to this one, OP.

Thank you. I am in excellent company. Namaste.